Song : Silent Hill—Room Of Angel
Warning: This chapter contain descriptions of murder.
In his eyes, there was nothing called a truth.
It was nothing more than a beautiful lie that masking the cruel truth. A beautiful mask wore by an ugly face.
Like an aphorism from a famous English poet from 16th century, “All that glitters is not gold.”
How befitting it with the cruel world.
There was only lies existing in this cruel world, where he was living and breathing. There's nothing beside it.
Nothing.
There was only two side existing in this world.
White and black. Good and bad. Sin and virtue.
Everything have a pair, a thing opposite of them; an antonyms, an enemy. The Creator had made this world like this from the beginning of time.
But, there's no truths as antonym of lies. There's only a thing called lies, a mask of the cruel truth, that always existing and said by every people in their life.
A life based on lies.
How beautiful, yet, it sounded so painful and sad. But, no one could choose what life they wanted to lived. Like his life.
Fate... Is a cruel thing.
You lie silent there before me
Your tears may mean nothing to me now
Living with his abusive mother, who was only spewing lies from her mouth and beating him from times to times, and never gave him the love he had longing for in his whole life; his heart turned cold and hard like an ice.
The wind howling at the window
He always felt the world is so cold, making him shivering touched by the coldness. He held his breath to living a cruel life; it's felt so hurt and ridiculous to him. Why did he even wanted to live in this cruel world and the so called reality? Like, he cared about his life. Reality would only gave him a hard slap on the cheeks.
He's only a lifeless vessel of his former self, without anymore soul living inside it. His soul already died a long time ago, since the day he was born and saw the world.
It's felt so empty and cold, living inside the darkness and befriending them like it was his second nature. He had no one, beside the darkness that always here, inside of him.
The Love you never gave
I give to you
His only reason to life is to paid her mother's kindness for the life she gave to him. She was the reason why was he was born and living in this cruel world. She's the person that he always loved and respected from deep inside his heart; but she was also the person he despised and hated, deeper than his love and respect for her.
He had always enduring it silently and never said anything to her nonsense, to her cruelty and malice. He always ignored her and doing the chores diligently, without complaining about everything. He always prayed to the God before he slept, for his mother; while his mother could only drank her beers and went out in her spare time, without caring about her son, her flesh and blood.
Really don't deserve it
But now there's nothing you can do
This, without doubt, was a duty for him to do as a son for his mother. He carried it without much words and kept his mother in check with her bad habits, always cared for her. While she always scolded him, spat curses, and called him with vulgar nicknames.
He only wantsed to ended this and lived a quiet life in a small town somewhere; to spent times doing somethings news, that he couldn't experience before.
‘Are you sure about it?’ A voice asked with light chuckles, sounded amused.
It was late at night, near midnight. He looked at the clock on the gloomy brown wall. There's only the sounds of dog's barks and the owl's hoots in the silent night of Friday.
He didn't thought much about it, as he laid down on his bed and thought about what to do tomorrow after school. Aside from took care of the chores and his mother, which was a daily works for him.
‘Rude human, don't ignore me!’ The voice shouted at him, seemed annoyed that it was ignored. ‘Aren't you afraid of me? I'm a demon! A high ranking demon!’ It said with proudness and arrogance, feeling superior because it's not a human and have nobler indentity.
He rolled his eyes, feeling bored and covered his eyes with his left arm. “Then, what do you want, oh mighty demon?” He asked with mocking tone, not caring about this so called demon being real or not. He only wanted to slept peacefully, to got some rest from his daily life that tired him. He had school tomorrow and as a diligent golden student, he didn't want to came late.
The demon seemed delighted and happy, when he acknowledged it's presence. ‘Good, you acknowledge me, human! Now, at where we stopped before... Ah, right! Don't you feel bored taking care of your old lady?’ It asked seriously, it's tone like a salesman that promoting his useless service. He didn't even want to hear it, if it continued to said any nonsenses and wasted his time.
So sleep in your only memory of me
My dearest mother
“My mom? Nah. I'm just doing my duty as a filial son. It's natural for me to taking care of her, she is my mother. The one who gave birth to me and letting me see this world,” he answered and shrugged nonchalantly. He didn't really care that deeply for that old woman. She was lucky, she was his mother. Or else... He shook his head, shaking the bad thoughts out from his mind.
‘Really?’ The demon asked, doubt in it's voice, although it mostly seemed amused by his sentences. ‘Well, well. That's not a good choice, if I must say. Why not end this nonsense quickly? I mean, a quick death isn't fun enough, for my standards. But, it will works too, right? For a human's standards, it's quite a cruel things to do to others, blood-related or not,’ It suggested with great enthusiasm in it's voice. He could guessed that this demon was a creature who loved blood and tortures. ‘Though, it's a bit easy for that old lady. Doing this for years, it's worths a harsh punishment in Hell. Moreover, to your own flesh and blood...’ the demon muttered lowly. It was loud enough for him to heard it.
He fell into silence and didn't say a word to reply to the demon's words. Only closed his eyes shut and listened to the thumping of his heart in the deep silent night. It was calm and steady.
‘Not answering, eh?’ The demon chuckled lightly, not bothered by his silence. It then said lazily, ‘Well, we will talk more after this, anyway. I'm looking forward for our next meeting. My name is Asmodeus, you poor human. See you again. Soon.’ The demon laughed, before the silence greeted him again.
He didn't answer him nor did he cared that the demon left. He let his consciousness slipped away and fell into the dream land. He didn't care if he would meet with Asmodeous, soon.
He only wanted peace.
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)
It was always you that I despised
The woman was asleep after drinking beer again, when he came back from school.
She laid down on the old sofa in the living room with beers bottles littered, either on the table or the floor. The orange rug that covering the living room's floor was stained with beer and some crumbs from whatever the woman ate this morning. She was dozing off in the sofa, snored loudly.
He stared at her with face void of emotions and went to the kitchen to checked it's condition.
There was many opened snacks on the dining table, some chips littered on the floor crushed into pieces, a pool of water pooling on the floor near the fridge from an opened bottle next to it, and the trash bin was full and there was some withered fruits on the floor with ants crowded it.
I don't feel enough for you to cry (oh well)
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)
He then checked the bathroom, next to the kitchen. Sure enough, the clothes was stacked into small mountain beside the washing machine. The tampon was abandoned near the bathtub, reeked with fishy iron scent. Liquid soap and shampoo covered the green tiles, that made him had to walked carefully on the slippery tiles.
His expression twisted into one of anger. Anger clouded his usual blank mind. He had enough of this shit. He didn't even want to be born in the first hand, and lived in this hell hole. He took care of this woman for years and had to held his anger towards this useless mother of his.
Goodbye...
Goodbye...
He just wanted to ended this boring drama and said goodbye to that witch woman. Not directly, of course.
He turned and went back to the kitchen and placed his bag on the kitchen's table, turned his head to looked at the kitchen set.
His eyes was fixed on a knife, gleamed under the dim light from afternoon sunlight that get through the closed windows. His hand quickly reached out for it, and his eyes examined the knife carefully. It was sharp and clean without any stains.
So insignificant
Sleeping dormant deep inside of me
Perfect.
He smiled widely. His eyes darkened with unknown emotions clashed within those beautiful orbs. He hid the hand that held the knife behind his back and walked towards the living room quietly; step by step inched closer to his target. He stood behind the sofa, watched his mother snored and slept soundly. Not knowing her tragic fate.
In the next second, she would died. His eyes darkened, cold smile deepened as he gripped the hilt of the knife tightly around his fingers.
Are you hiding away lost
Under the sewers
Maybe flying high in the clouds
His hand reacted quickly and after a second, there was a large gaping wound on her neck. Blood flowed out heavily from the wound like a waterfall and wetted the old sofa. She snapped open her eyes widely, looked straight at his eyes, as her hand reached out for her wound and tried to stopped the blood from flowed out.
Perhaps you're happy without me
So many seeds have been sown in the field
“Y-You.... Li-little... Ba-bastard, y-you d-dare—!” She said with her breath weakened in each seconds. He grinned like a maniac; eyes gleamed with happiness and delight, and then, he threw the knife in his hand to the ground with a loud noise.
His eyes full of joy and excitement as he watched her attentively. This was what he always wanted to saw in his entire life. He didn't want to missed it, even a second was couldn't be wasted.
Time is precious, after all.
And who could sprout up so blessedly
If I had died
The woman gasped, like a fish in the land, tried to got as many oxygens she could got with a gaping wound on her neck. Her eyes full of tears and disbelief, the tears rolled down to her cheeks and made wet trails that made her face very unsightly to eyes, as she glared at him with so much hatred on those dark eyes.
I would have never felt sad at all
You will not hear me say I'm sorry
But, that wouldn't make her wound healed and got her out from the death's grasp.
She's going to die, soon.
His smile became more wide, more crazy.
Her eyes, then became lifeless as her body slumped, like a broken doll, on the sofa. Bloods poured down and stained the sofa and her clothes, dyed it blood red, like a blooming rose of death.
He didn't care about the sofa. He didn't care if this house got burned down into nothingness. He only cared for the feeling inside his heart, that beating fastly like it would exploded soon. He felt so much happiness, so much excitement, so much joy, he hadn't feel in his whole life, before.
It's feel weird.
Where is the light
I wonder if it's weeping somewhere
He closed his eyes as he breathed, relaxed and full of relief. He could smelled the strong scent of iron lingered in the air and felt his heart swelled with happiness.
He fell into the paradise, or maybe it was another hell. But, he never regret this. He enjoyed it.
This is what I want.
He opened his lips and started hummed his favorite song quietly under his breath, as he quickly got upstairs and packed his clothes and some money.
He paused and looked through the window, grinned like a madman. Ah, he liked the idea of burned this hell down.
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)
It was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry (oh well)
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)
Goodbye...
Goodbye...
He smiled widely, as he gazed at the house. At the hell hole he once lived in with the monster he despised. His eyes full of happiness and manic glint, only focused on the building that was consumed by fire.
Now, he could went and travelled to everywhere he wanted to without any burdens. He got his freedom tht he had longed for a long time.
“Goodbye, My Dear Mother,” he said quietly, as he left behind the burning house and the people who were shouted in front of the house, trying to extinguished it with buckets of water.
He smiled widely, rubbed his chin with expectations and delight in his eyes. “I'm not wrong to chose him,” he muttered with some pride showed on his face.
He lowered his head, red eyes half-lidded, glowed weakly in the darkness of the alley. He didn't expect the boy would did it sooner than his expectation. Well, it didn't matter, anyway.
Sooner or later, the boy would had to made this kind of decision.
"... That boy is your new Eve?" Asked a voice he recognizer. He always heard it, because the owner was an important part of his life.
He smiled and turned to looked at the person who had said this. “Good evening, brother!” He greeted cheerfully, waved his hand a few times. His eyes hid every emotions he had at that time.
His brother narrowed his red eyes, tilted his head as he crossed his arms with pointed look. He always saw that, so he didn't feel bothered to defended himself.
His brother then asked, “What are you going to do now?”
He shook his head at his brother's straightforward personality. “... It's a secret,” he said with a dark smirk, placiplacedng a finger in front of his lips. His brother tsked at his answer and threw him a dirty look.
“Don't do something stupid, our eldest brother doesn't want a problem right now,” his brother warned him with dangerous expression on his face, one he always gave him when he planned to did something overboard. “And don't dissappear suddenly, like Leviathan did. We doesn't know where he went to, until now. Adding you will mean a big trouble.”
He let out a soft 'ah' and smiled gently. “Don't worry, I won't.” His brother stared at him, not conceived by his words.
“... Yet.”