Survivor's diary

Chapter 40


When Daryl said something about a community, I expected like a group of thirty people or something. Well, guess what? At least double of that, maybe even triple, are in this prison. And they're so weird.

It's a prison, I get that. But what surprises me the most, is the fact that they actually sleep in the cells. Another thing, is that everyone has this weird, scared look when I pass them. Like I'm some kind of monster. I'll just skip the 'gingers have no soul'-joke, because that's not it.

Overall, the people are pretty polite. There's this one woman with the short hair, she's very sweet. Everybody likes her.

There's are also some other things that I noticed. For one; there is not one leader, but there is this particular group of people where the others go to for questions or when they're having trouble with something. I also see this sort of group of leaders talk with each other and debate over such things.

Knowing that Daryl brought me in, I think that I'm not the only person they invite to their camp. There are lots of different people. You have old people, kids, a couple teens from around my age, and some adults who're yet not old enough to be called elderly.

The second thing I noticed when I arrived and walked around a bit, is the tension. There's this one dude that introduced himself very quickly to me so I forgot his name immediately after, who is getting stuff ready for a big event. I hear everybody whisper about it, but I'm not that comfortable to ask what it is. Because of this big event, nobody really talks to me, because they got better things to worry about.

I don't really care. I'd like to watch people first before I approach them. The fun thing about it is that I can see them, but they can't see what or who I'm looking at. It's a little secret, and sometimes a game. Trying not to get caught, I mean.

I'm sitting at this metal table, and the bench hurts my butt. They should put pillows here or something. There are a lot of people in here right now, because they think it's too cold to go outside. Pussies. OK, I'm in here too. Don't judge, I'm just spying on people. Again, don't judge.

Out of nowhere, everybody stands up. Like someone just gave them an order to stand up and salute. I hear the door of this 'cellblock' open, and there are people walking in. That dude who's name I forgot is running forward like a fangirl, shouting a name.

"Carl! Carl!"

He runs through the mass of people. I try to look over all the heads to see what's going on, but I can't get a proper view. I do see the crossbow dude make his way towards the entrance, and there's this Asian guy. There's a lot of murmuring and pointing fingers towards the spot I can't see because everybody here just so happened to have an enormous head or something.

I hear a surprise laughter, and it reminds me of something. I feel a little worried. Maybe someone did survive the attack…? Maybe they brought someone new in, someone who also managed to escape from my camp. Doubt it.

I see the two dudes who stepped forward drag someone with them through the chaos of people. I now see that they back away quickly, making a path for the men and the person between them.

Finally I can see what's going on.

I see the dude without a name placing a hand on the shoulder of a kid with the same blue eyes, and wearing a pretty awesome sheriff hat. I guess he's his son or something. His son tries to tell him something, but the dude's not listening.

I then turn my head to see what the other dudes are doing, when I suddenly feel cold. As if snow is falling in my neck. I get goosebumps all over my body, and I feel my knees are shaking. It feels like time is going in slow motion, as I look at her face.

She looks different. Very different. Last time I saw her, was at Christmas 2009, which feels ages ago. Her hair is longer, and dead at the end. There's all kinds of brown and green stuff in her hair, mostly leafs and mud. One side of her hair seems to be brutally cut, leaving a weird contrast around her face. Her clothes hang around here like a curtain, being so skinny.

I almost can't recognize her, but I know it's her.

"…Vicky" I whisper. I thought I hadn't said it out loud, but Vicky quickly looks in my direction. She catches my eyes, and frowns at first. I blink. The look in her eyes…what's happened to her?

The confusion on her face is quickly replaced with excitement. "Katy! Katy! Hey! Hey, Katy!"

She tries to wave at me, but Daryl is holding her arm. The crossbow man looks up, and follows Vicky's eyes. He stops at me, and his eyes narrow slightly.

The nameless dude looks at me too, shocked. Just like everybody else in the room.

Vicky is being dragged out of the cellblock, into a hall. I still hear her call my name, as I stand there, still in shock.

I look around, and everybody in the cellblock stares right at me. They all look confused and terrified. Whatever Vicky did in here, she left a real shitty reputation.

From all the people, there is this one kid, a little older than me, who stares right at me. He has really, really blue eyes, and dark hair. He looks really tired, and sick, but very much alive. I don't know what's up with him, and why he looks so interested in me.

I don't wanna know. I just wanna get out of here. I guess I'll just find a quiet place to think about all this. I can't progress properly. What the hell is going on?!


Vicky said that my dad would probably hug me to death. Well, that's not really the case. He put me in a cell, and closed the door. Not like locking me up, he's in here too. And he doesn't look very happy to see me.

"What happened?" Is the first thing he asks. I cross my arms, and hide my face under the shadow of my hat. I still can't believe that he kept secrets from me. Secrets about me.

"She kidnapped me, took me to a secret place, and told me everything I needed to know" I say. Then I smirk. "Well, maybe not everything. There must be more you kept from me."

I look at my dad from under my hat, and see him struggling. I don't hate him, I'm just mad.

"Tell me everything. Keeping it from me won't help anymore. Talk."

My dad wipes some sweat from his forehead. "OK, listen. There was too much going on, with the Governor. And when we brought all these people in, there was so much we needed to do. When Vicky came to me, asking if she could talk to you alone, I was…afraid. You didn't see what she did to the men of the Governor. You don't know half the things she's capable of. Not even I know everything. But you know what she can be like. I could not take the risk of you being alone with her. I can't risk anyone being alone with her."

"She didn't hurt me" I say, banning the memory of her slapping me on the cheek earlier. "She just told me a few things I needed to know. That's all. She would never hurt anyone-"

"Really?" my dad says, nearly a chuckle. "Then she hasn't told you the complete truth, has she?"

"What do you mean?"

My dad leans with his back against the wall of the cell. "Before she had kidnapped you, she attacked a man who was trying to help her."

I frown. "No. No way. She wouldn't hurt a fly-"

"His name is Will. He's a shrink. He wanted to help Vicky with her… 'mental state'. She didn't want his help, and thought that violence could help him understand."

"No way" I say again, remembering the butterfly resting on her arm, the bees sitting on top of her red hair. She tried not to move, not to disturb them.

"She has also threatened me," my dad continues, and it looks like he almost enjoys telling me this. To make me feel how wrong I am about Vicky.

"Shut up!" I say, looking him in the eyes fully. Then I frown at the sight of my dad. I had pictured him with a smile on his face, enjoying every word coming out of his mouth. But instead, I see him with a bowed head, and a face full of disgrace.

"I'm sorry, Carl, but it's true. She's dangerous. Do you have any idea what it felt like knowing that you were alone with that…lunatic?!"

Now it's my turn to shut up. I feel so dumb. I had no idea of any of these things. I had admired Vicky, back in the house of glass. But it turns out my dad isn't the only person keeping things from me. Vicky herself also did.

But in the end, it's my dad who tries to keep me away from all of it.

"What are you gonna do with her?" I ask after a while. That's a question I also asked Vicky earlier. What is going to happen to her?

"It's not up to me to decide anymore" my dad says slowly. "We've organized a court. She's going to trial."


"Her fate will be decided in a civilized way." My dad scratches at his chin. "When Vicky threatened me, she warned me that taking in more people would turn out in a new Woodbury. By giving her a trial, I'm proving her wrong. We're not like that. We'll never be like that."

I slowly nod, and I feel somewhat relieved. I thought my dad would kill her instantly. I expected to see a bullet flying through her skull the second we'd enter the prison. But that's not the case, and I'm happy. Well, satisfied is a better way to describe it.

"You don't want her dead, do you?" I ask, finally understanding it. My dad looks me in the eyes.

"No. Not after everything. But she can't stay here either. Not if she keeps attacking people, or worse. There are two options; banishment from the prison for life, or help from a shrink."

"When is the trial?"

"In a week. There's still a lot of things we need to arrange." My dad then sighs. "I thought that we had to pick another date for the trial, with you being gone…"

"You don't have to, because I'm back. And better than before."


It's like I'm not doing anything else anymore these days than walking through the empty halls. But this time it has a purpose. I need to find that red haired girl. No, not Vicky. The other one, with her pony hanging over her eyes. The new girl. The girl Vicky seems to know.

I thought I had seen her going into the D-block.

Entering the D-block, I spot the red head immediately. She's someone you could pick right out of the crowd. She's disappearing in one of the cells.

There's not a real crowd in the D-block. Meaning there are not a lot of people here. Most of them were near the entrance where Vicky came through, along with Carl. I've never seen a chaos that big in the prison. Woodbury had lots of happenings like that, but not the Prison.

First, I assured that Vinnie was safe and sound. I took him away from the mass of people, and followed the red haired girl. Staying behind a few steps, of course. I don't know this girl, and you can never be too careful.

The cell she's in is an empty one, probably given to her by one of the original group leaders, perhaps Hershel or someone else. She's sitting on the bed, staring at the wall at the other end of the small cell. There is a pointy stick put in the corner, with dried blood. Probably her only weapon.

I can't see where her eyes are looking at, them hiding under her hair. I can't tell if she knows I'm here.

"Hey" I say, and I notice how crappy my voice sounds. She responds by turning her head quickly. I can see her eyes glimmering under her hair.


I lean nonchalantly with my shoulder against the wall, hands in the pockets of my jeans. "You new here?"

This sounds like one of those episodes from a show my mom almost watched. About sexy doctors or something. She was totally crazy about it.

"Have you seen me around here before then?" she snaps. I lift an eyebrow. She's not in a good mood.

"I'm Daniel" I say, trying to be nice.

"Cool story, bro" she mumbles, not interested. She goes back to staring at the wall, deep in her own thoughts.

"How do you know Vicky?" I ask. Since she's not wanting to go around things, I might as well go straight to the point too.

"Man, you people are very bad at asking questions. Way to personal, dude."

I sigh. I wasn't the one coming up with those three questions. "Look, Vicky is a friend of mine. I don't know if you got the memo, but she's in real big trouble."

"So what? You think that me knowing her will help her getting out of it?"

"It's a start" I say. She sighs, blowing some of her hair out of her face, revealing her eyes for a few seconds before they're being covered again. She has almost the same as Vicky, but without the creepy glance.

"We're cousins, for your information. My mom is…was her father's little sister."

I nod and open my mouth to ask more, but I spot the weird form of her mouth. Her eyes are covered, but she can't hide her grief.

"I'm sorry for your loss" I say instead. I just have the feeling I need to say that, since I've lost people too. I've lost my mother too.

I see the grief disappear from her face as she starts talking again. "Anyway, being cousins doesn't mean we're close. Well, we were when we were little. I looked up to Vicky, with her being a few years older than me. I admired her strength and the will to be the best. She was always very playful and creative, she always came up with something to do. And she loved her mother. Her parents got divorced, and they let her choose where she wanted to live. She chose for her mother, even though that would separate her from me and a whole lot of other family members, because they were to live in San Francisco. I lived in Philadelphia. She came to visit us sometime, because her mother knew we were very close. But then…her mom and Vicky got in a car accident, and Vicky was the one to survive. After that, it went downhill. Vicky completely changed after that. I had only seen her three times since it happened, and with each time, I saw her getting darker inside. She went experimenting with all sorts of things; alcohol, cigarettes, and mostly drugs. She was so depressed and hopeless, that she needed to find a way to escape the pain. Last time I saw her was at Christmas, and my uncle, her father, told us that she had gone in therapy, and that her shrink advised him to send her into rehab."

As I listen to what the girl is telling me, I realize how less I've known about Vicky this whole time. She was the one cheering everybody up, when she's suffered one of the greatest losses.

The girl sighs, as if she thinks she's said enough. "So, what kind of trouble is she in this time?"

"It's kind of ironic" I say, and immediately regret it, "but she attacked a shrink. He tried to help her, but she didn't want his help."

"I see" the girl says. "And what's the catch? Are they gonna kill her or something?"

"She gets a trial for what she's done" I say, and I can see her mouth make a downwards gesture. "With a judge and everything. It's in seven days."

The girl is silent for a while, as she pulls up her knees to her chest. She still hasn't looked away from the wall.

"What happened to her?"

This question's not coming from me, but from her. She's seen Vicky entering the prison, and she's seen how…'different' she is from other people. She probably wasn't this way the last time this girl saw Vicky.

"She's been alone for a long time" I simply say. "She couldn't take it anymore. At some point, she just flipped the switch, and began to see the world differently." I smile slightly. "But from what I've heard from you, she's more like her old self. She's creative and playful, she loves to find out new stuff and fool around. She's not depressed, not into drugs or anything. But she's also…dangerous. Her ruthless ways of killing and fighting are just terrifying. She likes to kill as many walkers as possible and is not afraid of death. But one thing I've learned from Vicky, is that almost every decision she makes is one where she takes the time to think about how it will affect others. She cares about people, after being alone for so long. She doesn't want to be alone anymore, even though the same people give her a headache."

The girl slowly nods, and sighs. "My name is Katy."

"Nice to meet you."

Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear Diary,

I guess I must be the only one to be happy about me being back at the prison. Although I did get a warm welcome; I was being escorted by Daryl and Glenn to a cell, and Daryl told me that I would go to court in seven days. For the things I did.

Pff, like I did something. I just made something clear to a stupid guy, that's all. Why can't they just accept the fact that I made the prison my palace, so my rules count? I mean, my methods may be a little different, but c'mon; sending the Muffin Queen to trial is ridiculous! In my own Kingdom!

Apparently, this whole trial-thing is a big deal. I think it's just a matter of time before Rick starts putting posters on the walls. When Glenn and Daryl escorted me to my private cell, I got a glance of this huge hall, which must've been the main courtyard on the inside when this was still a prison. With inmates, I mean. For me it's a real prison, because they've locked me up. Oh, well, I just hope you're not so dumb as Carl, and just get that I'm the only real prisoner in this prison.

Anyway; this hall. They've made some sort of stage, with a table on top of it, what's probably the judge's seat. There are a few benches for the jury, and two tables in front of the judge's place; one for the prosecutor and one for me. And my lawyer. Which I don't have.

I'm actually very excited for this trial. It's something different. I thought it was going to be an old-fashioned talk with Rick, which is probably gonna end up in a gunfight, and one of us getting killed. Probably Rick. But no; we're gonna play Law & Order. Sounds good to me.

It did surprise me, though, with Rick not immediately wanting to kill me. Perhaps he had a change of heart, just like me. Maybe he overthought what a good person I am. Dot, dot, dot.

Maybe Carl changed his dad's mind. Or Daryl. Good old Daryl.

You know what the funny thing is? In the beginning, when we first met, Daryl was the one wanting me dead, or at least, gone. Rick was the one defending me. Now, it's the other way around. Well, it's been the other way around for a short time, when Rick was really bloodthirsty all the sudden. Not like a vampire, but like a murderer.

Daryl has been defending me the whole time, while Rick thinks I'm a danger to every living thing on the planet and wants me dead or gone. Well, neither of those things is gonna happen, and I'll make sure of that. My number one death wish is a herd attack with me in the middle.

If Rick is the one to kill me, I'm gonna make his life very miserable from the afterlife. I'll make him trip over every single thing, make him fall of the stairs or simply let the lights flicker when he's in the bathroom. Maybe I could write something on the mirror with someone's blood. We'll see.

With Rick having a change of heart, this trial will become even more interesting. He's not the only one who will decide if I die or not. I'd love to see the struggle on the jury's faces when they realize that not all the things I did are bad things. I mean, I took care of people, brought them food and medicine and stuff. Gave them shelter, shared a laugh. But I also killed people, and I attacked this shrink-dude.

I'm very much aware that not all the Woodbury-people like me, but I don't really care. They'll slowly realize that I'm not the kind of person they thought I am. In a positive and a negative way. That inner dilemma's gonna be awesome to watch. WHERE'S THE POPCORN?!

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