Survivor's diary

Chapter 7


I can't sleep. I'm lying in my bed, but I'm not sleepy. Not at all. It's not the first time, but still, it's annoying. Normally, it's just the stress of the day, or the heat that keeps me awake, but now, I see this picture in my head. It's Vicky. The look on her face when she cut off Hershel's lower leg. It scares me. I only see her face, and the look in her eyes. The look of insanity. She seemed to be excited to cut off the leg of a human being. She liked it.

Hershel wanted to meet Vicky tomorrow. He wanted to thank her for saving his life. I told him he should stay in bed for a day, because he needs to rest, of course. But it also gives me more time to think about the girl. She is crazy, insane, a psychopath. I don't know if I can keep my family save with her around. She has helped us for some time now, but what is she going to do next?

I sit up in the bed, wiping my wet forehead. I grab one of my shirts and my gun and leave the cellblock. I need some fresh air.

I ignore all the walkers that try to reach me from behind the fence on the courtyard. We would take care of them later. Daryl is keeping watch in one of the towers. I see the silhouette of the muscled redneck, with the weapon that's the most deadliest thing among us. Daryl walks around on the balcony, definitely bored.

I climb up the tower, and as I reach the top, I see he's pointing his fast weapon at me.

"Not going to eat you" I say, as I push the crossbow out of my face. Daryl sniffs his nose, like he always does for some reason. "How are things out here?"

"Quiet, too quiet if yah ask me." He leans over the rail, looking over the prison. I can see what he means. It's a little too calm out here.

"What do you think is happening now?"

"My guess; the girl" Daryl says, as he points towards the tower of the E-block. "She's been killin' must of our undead friends since we got here."

"Yeah, she's very helpful" I say, as I lean over the rail next to Daryl.

"A bit too helpful." I look at the man. He's playing with an arrow between his fingers, like we're talking about a soccer game.

"What's that supposed to mean? You don't trust her?"

"Do you?" He scratches something of the end of the arrow. "I've seen enough crazy people to know where this is goin'."

"And what do you think we're supposed to do, then?"

"Get rid of her."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. "Get rid of her? We're talkin' about a human being here, not a walker!"

"A quick shot with the crossbow's enough."

"Daryl, we don't kill the living!"

"Tell that to the two guys who walked into the bar."

Don't get me wrong, I like Daryl. He's a good man, but sometimes he said just the things that made you wanna punch him in the face. I bite my lips, till I taste iron in my mouth. I swallow it, before I start talking again.

"That was different" I say, almost talking through my teeth. "Those two man…..they were on us. I had no choice. We are talking about a girl here, a girl that saved three of our own today. We are no murderers."

"I hope yer right" Daryl sights. "What are you gonna do then?"

"Nothing, for now" I answer. "Let's just see how it goes, how she behaves around us. We need to analyse her behaviour. We'll discuss it tomorrow night, with everybody."

Daryl looks at me for a minute, thinking, considering, the option. He narrows his eyes, but nods. "OK, whatever. But if I see her make one wrong move…" he pretends like he's cutting his own throat.

I nod. I look over the prison, and see somewhere far away the sky turn orange. The sun was gonna come up soon. I pat Daryl on his shoulder.

"Take a rest, I'll take watch for now."

Summderday 4, early in the morning.

I couldn't sleep, I was too excited last night. Rick killed two of the prisoners, a third died 'cause of a creeper. It immediately changed my way of thinking about the man. He really does know how to kill. He seemed a little sick when I told him he had to cut off the old man's leg. But he just chopped of someone's head! Or, either sliced it. Whatever. I just think of him differently.

I've been to the hospital wing of the prison, and you wanna know what I found? Crutches! Walking sticks for Hershel!(that's what the old man's called) I want to go visit him, and give it like a present. I found a lint to put around it, and I probably should get some flowers for him too. It's almost like I'm going to visit him in a hospital!

I better go check on the garden. I'm almost out of vegetables, I need to get some more seeds. Especially with my neighbours. Rick and his group, and the two prisoners who are still alive. Rick and the others found some food in the cafeteria the other day, but nothing beats some fresh fruit and vegetables. I paid a visit to the D-block, where the prisoners are at. They are much nicer to me, especially when I brought them food. They are not dangerous, not yet. If they will, I give them to the creepers.

You know what I just thought of? Dying. What would it be like to die? I suddenly wonder it. What would my death look like? Would I be old, like Hershel, and just die in bed? Or be eaten by creepers? O my god, that would be so exciting! Like an adventure! I would almost try it out, if it is not for the prison. There's too much going on, I don't want to miss all the action!

I really have to go to the garden, get food and flowers for Hershel, and visit my neighbours. I still need to meet a couple of them, and I should probably tell them about the crazy town people a couple miles out.


Sleep? I'm not tired. Not at all. I sit down on the staircase, while the sun comes up and throws it light on me. The nights are hot, but it still feels nice to feel the sun on my arms. Almost feels like I'm back in the forest. It seems ages ago since I went out to hunt. I could die for a nice piece of meat. All the canned food's making me sick. I know it sounds stupid to complain about all the food you're getting at the end of the world, but whatever. The only thing that really kills my hunger, are the apples. The last three days our 'neighbour' has been dropping them off by the gate of the cellblock. We never say she has to, she just does it. I like the apples, but I don't like her. She's crazy, and smart. Too smart, and dangerous. Crazy and smart don't go well with each other.

I hear a door open, and stand up. I grab my crossbow, which lays next to me, and make it ready to shoot. I aim for the walker that's about to step into the light, and when I see a foot, I shoot. It flies through the air with a slight whistle, and I suspect to hear the undead fall on the ground. Suddenly, a hand appears, who grabs the arrow out of the air.

"What tha…." I run down the stairs, towards the gate. The crazy girl from next door stands there with my arrow in her hand.

"Better look whom your shooting at" she says with hate in her voice.

"Better not sneak in here in the mornin'" I answer. "What are yah doin' here?"

"I wanted to visit Hershel, see how he's doing" she answers. I then notice the two crutches in her hands, and a lint around it. In her other hand, she has the regular brown lunch bag and….flowers? I shake my head, and walk back to my spot on the staircase.

"What? You're not opening the door for me?"

"You got the key, don' cha?" I'm not into this kind of bullshit.

"Yeah, but I'm not the kinda person that breaks into your house!"

"Yer not breakin' in if I know about it" I reply, and I somehow grin a little. I kinda forgot how it's like to fuck people up. "And yah got the key."

She narrows her eyes, making a small stripe of her lips. "You know, I could just kill you right now, from here. I don't like you, and you know what happens to people I don't like?"

"They lose their lower leg?"

Suddenly, I hear a soft whistle and something flies towards me. It's too fast for me to react on it. And suddenly, I feel a slight pain in my arm. I look down, and see a small cut, just under my shoulder.

"What tha hell…You little bitch!" I stand up, putting my hand over the cut, which is bleeding really fast. I turn around to see my own arrow sticking in the stair case.

"Told you" the girl says. "Now, let me in, please."

"O hell no!" I grab my crossbow. "You are so dead!"

"What the hell is going on here?" Suddenly, Carol steps out of one of the cells. The short haired woman looks at me with her grey eyes, lifting her eyebrows.

"Wanna-be Green Arrow won't let me in" the girl says, before I can open my mouth.

"Green Arrow?" I ask, without thinking.

"It's a superhero, dumbass!" The girl rolls with her eyes. "Comics, hello?"

"Daryl, are you bleeding?" Carol walks up the staircase and looks at the cut in my arm.

"She did that" I quickly say.

"Yep, I did that" I hear her say, as if she's proud about it. That makes me only even more angry. I put the crossbow in the air and my finger on the trigger, ready to shoot. But Carol puts her hand on top of my weapon and pushes it down. The look in her sweet grey eyes scares me. It's cold, and harsh, and I'm forced to lower my weapon by the angry eyes.

"C'mon, let me fix that wound for you" she says, and pulls me by my arm towards the cell where the medical supplies lay.

"I think you better get going now" she says to the girl. The eyes of the crazy girl go from amused to sad. "You can come back later."

The eyes become cold. "I don't think so. Not with him around."

She puts the brown lunch bag on the ground, and puts the crutches through the gate, along with the flowers. "It was nice meeting you."

Carol ignores the last thing, and pulls me at my arm. I give the girl a last cold look. I gave that look to an annoying kid once, and it cried for weeks. But not this girl. She just sticks her tongue out, and runs away.


"Glenn, Maggie, you in here?" I search through the cells on the second floor. They were not in the watchtowers, or the other cells. At the end of the row, Glenn suddenly puts his head out.

"Hi, we're here, we just…."

"It's OK, I don't need to know" I say, smiling. I can see by Glenn's messy hair what's going on in there. "I just wanted to tell you Rick wants a 'meeting', with everyone. We're outside on the courtyard."

"OK, we'll just dress…..I mean, get ready…..or…" Glenn stutters some more words before Maggie's hand pulls him back inside the cell again.

I laugh as I walk down the stairs. It's hot outside, just like most summers in Georgia. Lori sits on one of the benches by the table, smiling while rubbing her big belly. When Hershel came back wounded, I panicked. I was worried about Lori and the baby. Who was supposed to deliver it when Hershel wasn't around anymore? But then, this weird girl came by with all kinds of medical supplies. You could say she saved his, Lori's and the baby's lives. Rick was gathering everybody to talk, and I had a feeling it had something to do with that.

I sit down next to Lori. "How are you feeling?"

"Better" she answers, but I can see she's still tired. "Much better."

Carl sat down on the other side of his mom, wearing his hat and with his pistol at his belt. "Hi, mom."

"Hi, sweety" Lori says, as she goes with her fingers through his hair. I look down to my feet, feeling my heart crushing. It's been almost a year since it happened, but it still hurt me every day. Glenn and Maggie run up to us, Glenn's shirt with the label to the front. He sits down at the other bench, and I giggle a little. I clear my throat to get his attention, and he lifts his eyebrows. I point at my own neck, and he looks down.

"O, yeah" he says, as he turns his shirt around. Maggie giggles a little, and kisses him on the cheek. Glenn blushes, and thanks me.

I see Beth who comes out of a side door. Hershel's still in bed, it seemed he needed to rest a day. Beth sits down next to her sister, looking a bit pale. The girl had a lot to process these past days. But I see her blush as she looks at Carl. What is going on between those two…?

Finally, Rick arrives with Daryl and T-dog. They come from one of the watchtowers. I watch at the bandage I put on Daryl's arm, and see a little blood on it. Daryl sees I'm looking, and nods. I give him a quick smile, but he focuses on Rick.

"OK, I think we all know why we're here?" he says. All the faces look at him. Rick's become cold, tired, wild. But he's our leader, and I believe in him. So I listen. "Vicky. The girl next door. We need to have a real discussion about her."

I see Daryl looking over his shoulder quickly, and see his eyes go towards the E-block.

"This girl" Rick continued "has helped us out a lot. She brought us food, medical supplies, and helped us bringing Hershel back to us. She even brought crutches this morning, and flowers."

I see Lori lifting her eyebrows, and Carl gives her a look that says 'told you so.'

"But she also attacked one of our one this morning" Rick says as he points at Daryl. "She injured Daryl while breaking in into our cellblock."

That isn't entirely true, but I keep my mouth shut. I think the girl is nice to us, but dangerous.

"We need to think of a solution. We can either let her stay, or get rid of her."

"That's not far" Carl suddenly says. "You let the prisoners stay too, and they're even more dangerous than Vicky!"

"The prisoners ain't crazy, she is" Daryl replies with a cold look.

"What were you planning to do?" Lori asks. "Shoot her in the head?"

Daryl lifts his shoulders, and I know he would. He almost did it this morning. I don't know what would've happened if I didn't stop him. Daryl feels I'm looking at him, and I see it makes him uncomfortable. He can handle disappointment from everybody, except me.

"We can't do that" Beth suddenly says. All heads turn to her, and her big eyes get scared. "I mean" she says with a softer voice "she did save my dad. It's not right to return the favour like that."

There's a little silence, but then Maggie puts her arm around her sister's shoulder. "She's right. She helped us out, she saved our father. We'll have to find another way."

"We can't scare her away from here" T-dog says. "She's been here all winter, this is her home. She won't ever leave it."

"But we're not going away either" Lori says, protecting her belly with her hand. "We just settled her. We've been on the road for too long."

"But we can't live beside each other" Glenn says, looking at Maggie. "She's a danger to the group."

"Wait, you don't know what she's capable of" Carl says, standing up. "She knows this area better than we do, she knows where to look for supplies. She even has a garden! She could be useful to us. Think about it. Yes she is crazy, but she's smart and brave. Killing her off won't be easy."

"Yer right," Daryl replies, "she's smart, but dangerously smart. She's a psychopath!"

"That's not…" Carl shouts, but he gets stopped by his father.

"Carl, sit down!" Rick says, almost shouting to, while holding his hand up. "I've heard enough. We let her stay for now, but we all need to be careful around her. We need to know where she is, every minute of every day. Glenn, I want you and Maggie to make a run into town, and take her with you. See how she's around you, the walkers, everything. If she tries anything, shoot her."

Maggie gets pale all the sudden, and Glenn's eyes widen. He nods uncomfortably.

"Good, then it's settled" Rick says, although he doesn't seem satisfied. Daryl grumbles angry as he walks away towards the watchtower again. I look at him walking away, shaking my head.

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