The Mech Code

4. Mechs' Night Out

Starscream had never seen Skywarp so happy. As the days passed, he and his lover became even more inseparable, holding hands like they would never let go, kissing each other, calling each other silly pet names, talking in baby voices...Skywarp always acted like a perfect gentle-bot, carrying Moonbeam around, buying her flowers, jewelry, basically anything she asked for.

If any mech dared to look at Moonbeam, Skywarp would take out his weapons and prepare to fight. As far as Starscream could tell, the two "lovebirds" were facing at least once every day. On the few nights when Skywarp actually joined his brothers in the bedroom all three of them used to share (usually he stayed with Moonbeam in the guest room), all they would hear was his dreamy voice telling them "romantic" anecdotes, most of which they had heard before.

On the other hand, Starscream had never seen Thundercracker so unhappy. Thundercracker insisted he had no feelings for Moonbeam; she was Skywarp's femme exclusively. His only defense for his scornful attitude was that Skywarp was just "being stupid".

"Do you want to come flying with me, Thundercracker?" Starscream asked, approaching his brother one afternoon. Thundercracker was sitting on the couch with a scowl on his face, right next to Skywarp and Moonbeam. They were, yet again, furiously making out, this time with tongue.

"Anything to get away from these fools," he mumbled, pulling himself up. Moonbeam knocked Skywarp backwards onto the couch and wrapped herself around him, screaming out his name.

"Seriously, TC, what's bothering you?" Starcream whispered.

"They're being disgusting!" Thundercracker hissed.

"Skywarp and Moonbeam are HAPPY," Starscream said. "Leave them ALONE, will you?"

"I thought you invited me to go flying," Thundercracker grouched. "I didn't ask for a lecture."

"Sorry," Starscream mumbled.

Part of the reason why Starscream was inviting Thundercracker to practice flying was because he was sure it would improve Thundercracker's mood. After all, flying had ALWAYS cheered him up when he was upset over something. Starscream still suspected that Thundercracker had a thing for Moonbeam, but he couldn't get him to admit it.

Once they were both in jet mode, up in the sky, Starscream turned his thrusters on full blast and soared past Thundercracker, who barrel-rolled in the sky and jokingly bumped into Starscream's wing. Starscream bumped him back and then turned around the other way, inviting Thundercracker to chase after him.

It reminded him of when they were younglings; playing in the sky all day had always been their favorite game. Thundercracker must have been thinking the same thing, because his mood seemed to lift as he dove under Starscream, then shot ahead. They kept this up for hours, until finally Starscream got a call on his com. link. As he changed himself back to robot mode and slowly lowered himself onto the ground, he saw that it was Skywarp.

"Thundercracker!" Starscream shouted, gesturing to the blue jet, who was looking curious as to why Starscream had suddenly landed.

"What?" Thundercracker asked, quickly transforming and touching down.

"Skywarp called me." Starscream was sure Thundercracker would be happy that Skywarp was finally choosing to talk to his Trine, rather than virtually ignore them, as he had been doing for about the past week. (Most likely, it was unintentional, but he and Moonbeam were in the "honeymoon stage".

"Let me guess, more babbling about the lovely Moonbeam?" said Thundercracker, very sarcastically.

Ignoring this, Starscream answered the call. "What's up, 'Warp?"

"Well, I know we haven't been spending much time together, lately," Skywarp said apologetically. "I wanted to make it up to you guys. How about we three go out tonight and have ourselves a mechs' night out? Energon's on me."

"Sounds great!" said Thundercracker. "Why don't you come out here and talk to us?"

Skywarp nodded, and the next thing they knew he was out there with them. "The only problem is, do you think Moonbeam will be okay with this?"

"Did you have anything special planned?" Starscream asked. "Besides the obvious, I mean."

"Well, no," said Skywarp, "but..."

"You don't need her approval for everything, y'know," Thundercracker reminded him matter-of-factly. "You'll never be a mech if you let a femme tell you what to do."

"Moonbeam makes me feel all...fluttery," Skywarp whispered, gazing up at the sky. "I love her."

Skywarp looked about to melt into the ground, a puddle of love, but Thundercracker's eyes flashed red with anger.

"Don't speak too soon, 'Warp," he said firmly. "Let's just go out tonight, and you can forget about her for a bit."

"So, where exactly are we going, then?" Starscream asked.

"Wherever." Skywarp put his arms behind his back and swayed from side to side, looking lost in another world. Skywarp wasn't exactly bright, but he was harmless.

"I know somewhere we can go," Thundercracker told the other jets confidently, his arms folded across his chestplate, a grin on his face.


It was a place 'Cons went to for extra money, to perform, the femmes that is. The mechs were the ones who paid for the entertainment. Most likely, not even one of the Autobots knew it existed. It was located out in the wilderness, with a hologram making it look like nothing was there.

On the inside, though, past the hologram, it was anything but. It was a sort of replica of the Decepticlubs back on Cybertron, because (as some put it) mechs on Earth had their needs too. Drinks were available, of course, and weapons were encouraged, but it was mainly a smoky little place where mechs paid high prices for high entertainment. It was known as the Cybertronian Gentlebots' Club.

"Hey everyone!" said Starscream, bursting through the doors. "The Elite Trine is back!"

Of course, Starscream and his Trine members had been there before, because most 'Cons thought it was the best place to party, especially on Earth, where entertainment was hard to find. Skywarp, as promised, paid for their drinks and all three of them began to drink themselves into a stupor. Most of the energon was pretty strong, so that basically took care of itself.

For some reason, although Starscream and Thundercracker were ready to party, Skywarp was just sipping some high-grade with a straw, watching the dancers with what could only be described as disinterest.

"How much for extra services?" Thundercracker slurred, leaning across the table and waving his arm at one of the dancers.

"Don't be silly, cutie," she said, parking herself into his lap. "I don't charge Seekers."

Thundercracker and the femme started to make out, while Starscream (also drunk) was cheering and throwing money onto the stage. Skywarp, quickly finishing the rest of his energon, went over to the bar for another shot, but was soon confronted by a prostitute.

"For someone as cute as you are, I could fetch you quite a deal," she purred, stroking his wings.

"Um, n-no thank you," Skywarp stammered, looking a little startled. "I mean, I-I have a girlfriend, and I don't think she'd really..."

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her," the prostitute cooed. "C'mon, baby, you know you want to..."

"I'm sorry, Miss, but I really DON'T need your services," Skywarp insisted. "How about I just buy you a drink instead?"

"Trying to get me drunk, huh?" she giggled. "Well, have it your way."

"I wasn't trying to get you drunk," Skywarp said. "I was just trying to be polite."

"Look, hon, I can find another mech to bang in nothing flat," she said, crossing her arms, her pink-and-black paint job shining under the Decepticlub's bright lights. "So do you want this or what?"

"No, I don't. I couldn't." Skywarp patted her shoulder, then left.

"Did you see what you just turned down, you moron?" Thundercracker asked incredulously, his hands still on the dancer sitting in his lap.

"Thundercracker, it's called being faithful to your girlfriend," Skywarp said sharply.

"All right, all right," Thundercracker mumbled, and resumed making out.


Of course, the Decepticlub was open 24/7, but eventually the Command Trine (all three of them drunk) got very tired and they had to get their drunk afts home. Unfortunately, when they reached base the next morning, Moonbeam was standing, waiting for them at the door.

"Where have you been?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

"At the Cybertronian Gentlebots' Club, hon." Thundercracker grabbed Starscream's arm to keep himself from collapsing onto the floor. "We had a mighty fine time, too."

With that, he slapped her on the aft, mumbled something about how she should join them next time, and stumbled off to bed...assuming he could make it there without passing out, of course. Skywarp and Starscream stayed put.

"You went to a STRIP CLUB?!" Moonbeam screeched, eyes shut, hands clenched into fists.

"Please, baby, it's not what you think," Skywarp was trying to tell her, although he was having a bit of trouble talking.

"I can't believe this!" she screamed. "You and your idiot Trine disappear without telling me, go to a strip club, and come home high on who KNOWS what! What do you have to say for yourself, Skywarp? Did you have fun with all the whores there?"

"Moonbeam, it meant nothing!" Skywarp reached out for her, but she dodged.

"Don't touch me, you worthless piece of scrap metal!" Moonbeam slapped Skywarp and shoved him aside. For a second the purple jet froze--then he teleported away.

"What was that for?" Starscream demanded, by now the only one left.

"You hush up!" she told him, and gave him a slap of his own. "You're a total wuss, the blue one is an obnoxious aft, and Skywarp acts like a moron whenever he's anywhere near you two! Don't you even TALK to me!"

With that she stalked away, leaving Starscream standing there, mouth agape, shocked beyond belief.

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