Is There in Truth no Beauty?- Revisited

Fallen into Darkness

Chapter 8

Inner thoughts are Italicized

Miranda consciousness called out to Kollos: “Thank you.”

Kollos was distracted by her presence, and when he attempted to re-enter his carrier. Spock realizes that he didn’t have his visor, his mind tried to reach Kollos, then the green light burst through his mind, piercing Spock’s optical nerves, shattering his thoughts. Spock screams inside his consciousness when he saw the real Kollos’ form.

Kollos turns to see what had happened, and sees parts of himself reflecting back into Spock.“NOOOOOOOO, NOT YOU MY FRIEND, PLEASE NOOOOOOO!”

Spock’s conscious surfaces to the real world and the scream are heard throughout the bridge.

Kollos re-enters Spock’s sub-conscious and tries to find him through the maze of confusion. All of Spock’s fears and hate burst through his mind, out of control. Kollos searches for him, his only friend. Spock’s world turns into cliffs and abysses, where he is falling but in pain, anguish, hurt, fear and alone. All those things that targeted him in his early life surfaced like a torrent hurricane. Spock is breathing heavy holding on a ledge with one hand, his mind racing trying to regain balance, but nothing makes sense. A hand reaches for him, but because of fear, he did not dare look up or reach for the helping hand. He hears a distant voice:

"Spock take my hand!”

Spock’s fingers are slipping, he’s losing his grip and he hears the voice again.

"Spock, please take my hand!”

Spock looks up and tries to focus on the voice, he can’t see who it is, the pain rages through his body. Spock falls into the abyss, screaming.

Kollos desperately tried to reach Spock, he sees the tormented mind of his friend on the ledge hanging by his fingers. Kollos tries to control the raging chaos in Spock’s mind, and he sees Spock fall into the darkness of his own mind.


Meanwhile on the outside of Spock’s body:

The form stands in front of the bridge crew, confused, his mind trying to gather information in front of him. His eyes trying to focus.

Kirk shouts to his crew: “Don’t move!”

McCoy looks up at Spock’s face, the confusion and the lost look of help. McCoy starts to walk towards him.

“But, Jim!”

Kirk says again in a stern voice: “No one is to move.”

Kirk looks at this friend and sees the confused look on Spock’s face.

Spock strains to focus his vision and see the torment, hurt, those who had hurt him throughout his life. HUMANS! He had suffered so long around humans, laughed at, judged and teased. Spock’s alter torches his exposed mind.


Kollos tries to talk to altered state: “You must go, you have nothing to fear, they are to help you, Spock!”

Kirk extents his arms towards his friend: “Spock? It’s all right. You’re safe with us now.”

Spock blinks and again tries to adjust his vision.


"No, Spock I can help you, they want to help you. Please let me help you, my friend.” Kollos tries again to reach Altered Spock.

But Altered Spock had more control and lunges at Kirk grabbing his arms. Spock overpowers Kirk and tosses him. McCoy tries to reach Spock and he also shoves McCoy with both of his fists. The rest of the bridge crew tries to subdue their former commander without success. When one of the security guards fell on the floor from the charge. Kirk grabs his phaser and aims it at his friend and fires. Kirk watches Spock collapse on the bridge floor.

Kollos observes the results of his actions, defeated, angry and retreats back into his carrier. The guilt pours over him that Spock’s mind is gone. Kollos again has failed on his mission, he wanted to help the ship and instead destroyed a commander and a friend.

McCoy rushes over, and checks on Spock:

“He’s hardly breathing. Help me get him to Sickbay.”

The crew around slowly gather Spock’s body.

Uhura stood in shock when she saw the captain shoot Spock. She really didn’t know what happened to her commander, when she heard McCoy say that Spock was barely breathing. Nyota felt her own heart stop too, she always wanted to know him better. Things happened so fast; one second Spock quotes a famous stanza from a poem to her and then this. She watched the men carry Commander Spock away to sickbay.

Meanwhile; Miranda stood quietly, listening to the commotion. She tries to reach Kollos, without success, he has withdrawn. She felt his grief and despair over Spock, Miranda did warn them about the dangers of the connections. She knew she was better suited, but now it’s different with her rival out of the way. It’s not what she had expected, knowing Kollos feels for her. This is not what she had expected, Miranda feels remorse.

Somewhere, deep in the abyss of Spock’s mind, there is a Vulcan;

Spock sits in a fetal position in fear, feeling rejected by his world, and the universe, a world he can no longer control or filter. All his logic destroyed, all his training vanished, no Surak to protect his thoughts, they are all raw and gnawing at him. His life of despair plays in front of him, starting with his childhood:

Where he was unable to analyze his developing human feelings, he delved into the lifestyle of the Vulcan culture, that struggled to accept him and his human mother. Alone.

His father was unable to see his world crumbling around him, forcing Surak’s philosophy to only sustain him. Alone.

His rejection of the Vulcan Academy by his leaders, doubting his genetic makeup that would tarnish their perfect record. Alone.

His struggle to maintain any form of relationship with humans during his trials in Starfleet. Alone.

The fears, the prejudice never stopped to give him peace in his life. Alone.

All of it burst out and dancing in front of him to torment.

Spock saw Altered state strike back with his physical force, which did nothing to soothe the wars raging inside or around him. His heart rate beating loudly in his body, the world around him is freezing, he can’t find warmth or comfort where he is. Lost in the deep abyss of his mind, there is no relief. Spock cries because of it, he’s tired of being alone; He says to himself; “I… I want to die.”

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