Inner thoughts are Italicized.
"I can’t believe this, another mind lost. How can Starfleet trust me now, I destroyed one of their greatest officers.”
Kollos grieved the loss of his friend and continues to converse the outcome to himself.
"It is my fault, I… desired his form, why couldn’t just return to my carrier. Why did I do this? I am a selfish being, when I saw Miranda, my thoughts turned to her and had a new desire formed in my thoughts and now…. Because of me, a great mind is lost.”
Kollos’ conscious roared in his carrier with frustration and grief, he was overwhelmed. He wonders what his people would say of this disaster that has occurred on this mission.
*Kollos relived the events before the disaster:
*how his body connected with their mind/thoughts;
*seeing the female form of Miranda stimulated him.
*Two solid forms touching one another never occurred to him and that fascinated him.
*Then forgetting the purpose of why he came out of his environment to help the ship.
His people once had form millenniums ago and now they are floating consciously in space and time. Had he forgotten on purpose? his guilt torments him now.
Kollos relived the event that played on the bridge, how Spock screamed and the fear he saw on the man’s face. His ugliness that penetrated throughout his brain overwhelmed the Vulcan.
"How can I repay for such a mistake? How can his captain forgive me? My people will dismiss the whole idea of participating in the Federation of Planets. If we as people had form things would have been different.”
Kollos had no reflection of himself to look at, only his feelings to relate to the situation. He didn’t’ know how long he lingered on Spock. His conscious mind decided to roam the ship, which made things worse for him. Kollos journeyed down in engineering, where he observed sorrowful looks on each face. He heard them chatter about the events on the bridge and the concern of their fallen commander. He listened to their conversation about Spock’s accomplishments as an officer and the hope of speedy recovery. Kollos slowly moved to upper decks and corridors and it was the same, the crew was concerned about the outcome of their fallen commander. Spock was a lifeline to his people, he was admired and respected on the ship.
Kollos traveled again to every part of the ship and observed compassion for the logical Vulcan from the crew. Kollos heard from them how Spock had saved the ship and other countless lives. This made his heart, even more, sadden, Spock is part of a family; in human terms, he was loved and respected.
He came upon the woman that Spock desires, her countenance shown of concern and hopeless. Kollos brushed against her conscious and it revealed attraction and sorrow, her heart was heavy laden for Spock’s recovery.
"I will bring him back to you Uhura, I will do my very best to return Spock to you and have a future together.”
Kollos pledged to her, even though she could not hear him, Uhura bows her head as a tear trail down her cheek as if she did.
Kollos heads for sickbay, where he finds the captain and the doctor standing outside the door. And then Kollos observe the body of Spock, laying there quietly, sleeping peacefully. But Kollos knows of the war on the inside of Spock’s sub-conscious.
Miranda stands near the entrance of Spock’s medical bed and slowly removes her outer web sensor dress. Miranda now has time on her hands, does she?
"They are waiting for me to perform a miracle on Spock. What can I do? They doubted my abilities before, they didn’t allow me the opportunity to guide the ship out of danger!”
Miranda turns her face in shame: “I couldn’t even save Larry, and I tried!”
Miranda lifts her arms in front of her and starts walking towards the bed and bumps into it to feel Spock’s strong arm.
“I wish I could blame you for this Spock, but I can’t. I can feel how others feel for you, they all admire you. I can’t even beat you unconscious.” snarled Miranda.
“Why do I… feel this resentment against you? Are you that perfect?” she sighs again.
Miranda sat on the edge of Spock’s bed and thought about what had happened on the bridge.
She saw Kollos through Spock’s mind and body, it moved her to her core. She felt like a shy sixteen-year-old girl with a crush. Kollos is attracted to her, something she had always wished for, dreamed about. But now that world has crashed, would he take her in this condition? While Spock in his present state, be a hindrance to their future? She didn’t know, Spock accident has become a major focus. She had tried to reach Kollos, but he had closed the door of his consciousness to her. He has refused to acknowledge her presence has caused concern for her and the budding relationship.
“I have to fix this, I have to try. I can’t have Kollos because of you. I regret what has happened to you Spock.” tears start to flow down her cheeks.
“I am jealous of you, I was jealous of you. I didn’t mean to spurn you or snap at you, it was because of my feelings for Kollos that I rejected you. I am sorry.”
Miranda leans forward and places her hands over Spock’s psy points and tried to meld.
Meanwhile, outside of sickbay:
Spock’s two closest friends waited impatiently about his condition. Kirk is worried about his best friend who has saved his life multiple times. Now he unable to save him, only Miranda has that ability but yet Kirk paces with worry and regret of letting Spock meld with Kollos.
McCoy is worried as well, but it is out of his hands, he too feel helpless and also worried about Spock, this is one time with all his expertise is useless and helpless. He sees Jim pacing back forth in front of the door.
“Unless Miranda can look down into his mind and turn it outward to us, we will lose Spock.”
Kirk didn’t like the sound of that: “Vulcan mind techniques. They seem so untrustworthy, now that Spock’s life is at stake.”
Remembering all the times he requested Spock to mind-melt with someone or thing.
“Her knowledge of them may be the only thing that could save Spock’s sanity, perhaps even his life.”
McCoy, there was nothing he could do, it was beyond his skills, he didn’t major in psychology.
Kirk knows that Miranda is the key to Spock’s life, but can he trust her after what has happened since the ambassador and Miranda came aboard. The way she reacted to the death of Marvick and her jealous towards Spock.
“But does she want to? She’s been in there so long.”
“There’s nothing else to be done.”
Kirk is becoming irritated and impatient, he wants something done Now and snaps at McCoy.
“She tried to help Marvick. Marvick is dead.”
“That’s different. Marvick loved her.” Injected McCoy. He knows what Jim is thinking that Miranda will let Spock die.
“And Spock is her rival. Is that any better? Even Spock felt the violence of her jealousy.”
Kirk looks off in the distance of the corridor, longing to help his Vulcan friend from death. He turns and walks towards Bones.
McCoy sees the frustration in Jim’s face and knows he wants action.
“But they weren’t rival in love.”
Kirk steps in front of the doors to sickbay, McCoy gently holds his arm.
“Jim, you shouldn’t go in there.”
“Whatever happens, Bones, don’t interfere.”
Kirk has made up his mind, he wants to make sure Miranda is going to help Spock. If she doesn’t, then he will convince her. He walks into the observation room to save his friend’s life.
"Where am I? Why am I so alone? I can’t see in front of me. Why….. ?”
Spock lays in the deep darkness of his mind shaking in the cold.
Spock shakes his head, he’s trying to remember who he is. Then he screams into the lonely darkness. Spock slowly sees a sliver of light, sort of a beacon in the vast darkness; a thought returns.
"I am a Vulcan
Yes, a Vulcan.”
"YOU ARE HUMAN” states altered “DON’T FORGET WHAT YOU ARE?”
The light disappears and Spock starts to moan in pain, the pain of loneliness. The torment of his childhood emerges in front of him where his peers taunt him about his heritage. Spock defending himself against them only to be reprimanded for violence by his father. Tears fall on the young Spock as well as the grown one. Alone.
"I want to be free, I can not take this pain much more. Someone, PLEASE HELP ME!: Spock curls his body deeper into a fetus position, trying to find relief from the pictures of his life around him.
A/N: Original script from OTS: There is Truth and No Beauty? By Startrek.com