“Will you be mine?” Kacchan spoke softly.
“I-I.. Err.. Um.” I fumbled with my words. What the hell am I supposed to say? He just revealed his true feelings to me with the sweetest words that has ever left his mouth.
“Kacchan, I..” Heat flushed my cheeks. My legs involuntarily stood up and tried to run, but Kacchan snatched my arm back. The force gravitated me back towards him.
“Deku, you aren’t leaving without answering me!” His voice heightened, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than him calling me ′Deku’ again. ‘Deku’ is a nickname he gave me when we we younger. It’s an insult meaning ‘useless person’ or ‘good for nothing.’ I may have come to terms with it and accepted it since then, but I know he has always meant it as an insult to me. Before I could process more thoughts, the grip he had on my arm loosened as he dropped it.
“I-I’m sorry... It’s a habit. I’ll do better, I promise. You deserve that from me.” Our eyes held each other’s as tears formed in both mine and his. Then his arms wrapped around my neck and pulled me into a warming hug.
“I know I’m a handful and I understand if you need time to think. I’m sorry.” Sincerity coated his words. But, I didn’t need time to think.
“Kacchan,” I removed myself from his arms.
“I like Todoroki as well.” I muttered with the tears overflowing. As soon as the words left my lips, I found myself hurled to the ground. Kacchan had shoved my shoulders forcefully.
“Of course you like that bastard!” The sweat on his hands started sparking once more.
“Get the fuck out of here before I do something I regret!” He turned his back to me. The nitroglycerin started sparking even more, nearly igniting.
“I-I’m sorry, Kacchan.”
“Don’t call me ‘Kacchan’ ever again.” He asserted.
“Leave you fucking idiot!” He fired a controlled blast right beside me, missing me on purpose. Debris flew all around us. A sharpened piece of asphalt cut into my cheek, drawing blood to the surface.
As the dust started to clear, I realized Kacchan was no longer around. Frantically, I picked myself up. Where did he go? I searched everywhere, but to no avail. Dammit Kacchan! Why didn’t you tell me all of this sooner? I do care about you and I have always looked up to you, but... My feelings lie with Todoroki... I think?
My knees crumbled to the ground as I grasped my head. Why is all of this happening at once? I couldn’t help but sob from the thought of losing my childhood friend. What if he resents me even more now? What do I do? My head was spinning and my heart was aching. I felt like I let him down. He had been carrying these feelings for years without telling me. I couldn’t imagine how heavy of a burden that must have felt. I now understood why he always pushed me away.
Bzzzz. My cellphone vibrated in my pocket, pulling me out of my own head.
Did you talk with Bakugo?
I gritted my teeth at the sight of Kacchan’s name. I should probably reply so he doesn’t worry.
Yeah, I did. I’m on the way home now.
Immediately my phone vibrated again.
Did you find out what was going on?
No, he wouldn’t tell me.
Oh okay. I was wondering if you’d want to meet up to train together tomorrow?
How do I respond to that? I want to, but I don’t want him to find out what’s going on. I sighed deeply and propped myself up off the ground. I need to actually go home now. It’s getting dark and I need time to myself.
I entered my house and carried myself to my room. My mom wasn’t home yet, thankfully. I didn’t want to engage in anymore conversations. I wanted to sulk in my head alone.
I stepped into my bathroom, greeted by my reflection from the mirror. The blood had dried on my cheek, but left behind a deep cut. I hope he is okay... Ran through my mind on repeat. I violently shook my head side to side as if to shake all of the suffocating thoughts. Maybe a hot shower would help?
The steaming water rained on my face. Some of my stress melted away, but it did not calm my consciousness. I pressed my head against the shower wall. Whimpers drew from my voice before turning into a sob.
I cried and cried throughout the duration of my shower. My heart wrenched from the pain. I have realized that I like Todoroki, but is there a chance I have always liked Kacchan? I tucked myself into my bed and closed my eyes. My brain began succumbing to sleep.
Bzzzz, my eyes fluttered open. My phone was sitting in my hand. I don’t even remember falling asleep. I sat myself up, glancing around my room and groaning. Last night was rough. I peeked at my phone to see the message notification.
I got permission to train on the P.E. Grounds. I’ll be here for a few hours if you want to meet me.
I sighed and fell back onto my bed with my phone in my hands.
I’ll be there soon.
I looked at the time again, 07:13. My mom should be at work by this time. I should let her know my plans.
I’m going to the school to train with a classmate. I’ll be back home later.
I scrolled through my past messages and came across Kacchan’s contact. My heart tightened at the sight of his name while all the thoughts from yesterday came flooding back.
Are you okay?
I hopped out of bed and stretched. I guess I need to get ready. My casual gym clothes were the only thing clean so I changed into them.
Bzzzz. The vibration rattled on my nightstand. Kacchan? I snatched my phone and opened it.
That’s fine! See you later. Don’t overwork yourself.
My chest stung when I realized it wasn’t him. Did he ever read the message? I tapped on my last sent message to him. It still said ‘sent’ instead of ‘delivered.’ Maybe his phone is turned off? That wouldn’t be very unusual for him. I tossed my gym bag over my shoulder and left my house.
I placed my bag on the ground beside Todoroki’s when I arrived. He was already attacking one of the training dummies with his ice. He never noticed me.
I waited until his quirk had finally reached its limit to approach him. I didn’t want to startle him. We have been through too many villain attacks to not be on guard even on school grounds.
“Nice work!” I exclaimed as I started making my way towards him. He smiled in return, the ice gradually falling off of the sleeve of his gray sweatshirt.
“Thanks. I’m glad you decided to come.” His voice was warm and happy.
“Yeah, I figured I needed to work out too. Would you like to train one-on-one? I won’t hurt you.” I asked, but he laughed lightly and smirked.
“Don’t go easy on me.” He said boldly. I accepted the challenge and sprung into the air over top of him. He immediately blocked with an ice shield. I swung my leg back around in an attempt to strike him in the back, but he caught my leg and planted me into the ground. His arm outstretched towards me, but I rolled to the side before he could hit me. My leg twisted around his in the momentum of me rolling to the side, causing him to fall onto his back. I recovered myself and stood up over him. His face full of confusion before bursting into laughter.
“You got me.” He laughed as he laid there. I held out my hand and helped him back up.
“You had me at first though.” I reminded him. He shrugged and glanced away as he licked his lips.
“Do you think you’re ready for your rematch next week?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think so. I won’t have to worry about Bakugo and you.” I bit the side of my cheek. Dammit, I had forgotten about it all until now.
“Wait, what’s that?” His fingers grasped my chin and lifted it up.
“That cut is so deep. What happened?” Worry filled his words for a second before his expression completely switched into anger.
“Did he do that?!” He shouted. Ah shit, I forgot about that too.
“Did he?” His voice still stern.
“No! No, I did that. I was walking home and I tripped over my foot. I scraped my face on the sidewalk.”
“You fell?” He didn’t believe me, but honestly I wouldn’t believe that either.
“Yes, I fell.”
“Midoriya. Don’t lie to me.” Fuck!
“He did that. Didn’t he?” He growled, the grey in his left eye started changing to a darker shade.
“It was an accident.” I admitted softly.
“So, you did talk to him about what was going on.” His irritation redirected from Kacchan to me.
“I-I.. Yes. We did talk.”
“Okay, so are you going to tell me what it was about?” His arms folded and his weight shifted.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” My eyes dropped to the ground. I couldn’t make eye contact anymore.
“You lied to me and now you won’t tell me why he tried to kill you.” He scoffed.
“No! It wasn’t like that. He wasn’t trying to hurt me.”
“Oh, he wasn’t trying to hurt you?” His finger ran over my cut. I flinched from the sharp pain.
“Whatever. Let me know when you want to tell me what really happened.” He snatched his gym bag up and disappeared into the school. Why do I keep ruining everything?
I grabbed my bag and checked my phone. No new messages. The message I sent to Kacchan still said ‘sent.’ I wiped my face against my sleeve. Perhaps I should just go home now. Todoroki is upset with me and so is Kacchan. Maybe shutting myself in isolation will keep me from breaking more things.
My clock read 09:44. It was still early. I had no energy or motivation to do anything though. I sat down in the dirt with my head inbetween my knees. Ugh, why me?
I brought myself home and trudged to my room. Aggressively, I chucked my bag and phone on my bed. I could feel myself falling into a depression. I need to do something, but what? I can’t tell Todoroki what Kacchan said. Hell, I can’t even tell my own feelings apart right now. Do I like Kacchan too? I don’t know. How do I decide?