Final Farewells Or
Resolution For Ryuzaki
The problems presented by Amane's arrest were smoothed over by Float and she suspected that L had a hand in it as well because her statement to the police quickly removed her from suspicion and, when a press conference was held several days after the investigation began, her innocence was made particularly clear. She'd not seen or heard from any reporters on the subject since and that seemed highly suspect to her. She didn't know what Ryuzaki had done, probably paid off someone or something, but she was grateful for it. Mina had expressed a bit of disappointment over the fact that she wouldn't be able to get her uncle involved in a high profile lawsuit, but her dissatisfaction was superficial at best, her complaints made in jest; Haruka knew her friend was glad for her above all else.
As for the issues with Amane she knew nothing more than the public. Misa was being held and the populace was aware that there was strong evidence linking her to the Kira case, but that was it. Whether or not there were proceedings toward a death sentence or life in prison no one could say.
In all honesty she didn't want to know and thought it better to remain ignorant. If she was ever questioned she could speak candidly and truthfully say she didn't have any information on the subject.
For the moment her days had returned to normal. Schooling and work were her priorities; final examination time was nearly upon them, less than a week away, and she was putting as much energy into study as she could spare.
The billboard was to go up on the day of her first exams, the one she worried over the most because arithmetic was not her strongest subject, not by a long shot, and the perfume company had prepared a launch party that she was expected to attend. That was going to make for a hectic day, but she'd resolved to push through it. She'd already informed her manager that she would have to leave by eleven to ensure that she would be able to preform well on her tests.
She really had no idea what was going on with Light. At school he rebuffed her, though not in a way that made her think him upset with her. It was more like he just didn't have the time. That wouldn't have been strange if he was the type of student who needed to spend every spare second studying, but he wasn't. It seemed to Haruka that he was using the exams as an excuse to close himself away in the library whenever possible. She knew he wasn't studying and that meant he used the time alone for another purpose, but she didn't know what. No doubt it had something to do with the things Ryuzaki had done. More than likely he was trying to find a way to end this game without being caught.
But, what would that entail at this point? From Light's perspective L was the real roadblock, but she knew there was more to come even if Ryuzaki died. Light didn't have that information so he'd continue to focus his efforts on killing L, but at this point it didn't seem like the opportunity would arise. No one knew his true name and it was obviously a well guarded secret. She thought Watari must know, but his name was also a mystery. There was no way to dig for information about the two without some kind of starting point and Light didn't have one.
She couldn't see a way for Kira to declare victory under these circumstances.
This wasn't the time for celebration though; there were too many things she didn't know and allowing herself to become preoccupied over it wasn't productive. There was nothing for her to say on the matter to Light or L. She had no insights to give, no dire warnings to impart. For now her role in the case was over. Until Light came to her again, and he'd not seemed to have the inclination, she would have no chance to take a good look at how he'd changed.
From a distance he seemed normal enough, interacting with others the way he always did, but every once in a while she thought she caught a troubled look on his face.
All the feelings she'd tried to bury returned full force; her fear for his fate was not dead. She'd not had another dream of him or any visions at all, so she wondered if her vexation might be for nothing, but something felt wrong. It was different than before, not the kind of 'wrong' she'd recognized when he began pursuing her, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something else was awry.
It almost felt as though he was even less like himself than before, if that was possible, but she couldn't put her finger on the reason. Was it his expression? Maybe. His eyes looked emptier than ever.
Like before she was the only one to notice that something was amiss. Everyone else was too concerned with their own studies and problems to take notice of the way Light seemed to be fading.
Everyone except L. He'd also noticed the change and he had his own suspicions about where this new set of emotions might be leading, but he'd refused to tell her.
"Hmm," she made a face at the thought. She didn't like to allow him to set this precedent, but neither did she think it fair to try and drag something like that out of him. Ryuzaki's reasons, whatever they were, would be sound. She knew he was primarily concerned with capturing Kira and if Light was emotionally unstable it could lead to a mistake; in this instance it might be better for her to do nothing at all rather than risk stepping in. Right now it seemed the natural progression of things would led to the final, decisive win for those on the side of good.
There was something wrong with Yagami, Light. His attitude had changed yet again, even more fully than before. He'd made the shift from wildly over confident to despondent in a matter of hours.
Where was his homicidal rage? Why had Kira not been active in recent days? Was this part of his ploy to set up Amane, Misa as the only killer? L didn't think so.
The differences were too real.
That perfect child act was just that, an act, and it had always been plain to Ryuzaki that Light had far deeper motivations than he let on. Whether those motives were evil or not hadn't been apparent at first, but knowing what he did now, he had no doubt where Light stood. However, this new depression seemed genuine.
As usual he played it off well enough to keep most from suspecting, but he'd noted a few concerned glances passing between Matsuda and Aizawa. They were the two most likely to notice a change in temperament and their input was valuable. Upon asking them what they thought of Light's recent behavior, separately, they each indicated a vague feeling of concern for the young man.
If L was right Light was now battling himself more so than the investigation team. With the discovery of the Notebook of Death came an understanding of the way Kira killed and that was a giant leap forward. Nothing of the kind had ever been found in Light's possessions, but that meant little. A notebook could be hidden with ease especially if there was someone, like a Shinigami, to leave it with.
As far as Ryuzaki was concerned Light was, with one hundred percent certainty, Kira. Soichiro still refused to accept his conclusion, continually pointing to the remaining lack of evidence.
Another notebook was found within Amane's apartment. It had been well hidden beneath a floorboard, but the search was thorough and it was revealed after a day and a half of combing through the place with every available device.
Misa's dwelling was strange enough on it's own and it seemed to L that she'd been in a more fragile state of mind than anyone had realized. Her obsession with death was all encompassing and she'd made use of some strange blend of religions in her décor. Within her notebook was a list of names that included the newscasters who'd been killed on live television and with that evidence on hand it appeared that the government was trying to fast track her trial. This was not necessarily a good thing and Ryuzaki knew the actual purpose was far from noble. They were hoping to put Kira behind them, to tell the public Kira was dead and throw the supernatural incident into dust bin of history.
He was not very concerned over it; even if they formally ended the Kira Investigation he would continue to pursue Light, but it could serve as a boost to the boy. If he knew the government had backed off he might begin killing again, just with more discretion.
Clearly he'd never expected that his mode of murder would be discovered; that partially explained why he'd been so bold in his killings, but even if he felt invisible, and almost invincible, he should have been more discreet. Light wasn't stupid, far from it, but he'd acted in moronic fashion. Why in the world would he call attention to himself that way? Only a fool would call out the one intent on finding them, only a megalomaniac would possess the traits that Kira displayed.
He'd not been emotionally stable.
This led L to speculate that the Notebooks of Death had more power than simply killing. With careful study of the notebooks he'd decided that there were rules involved, though he did not know all of them, and he doubted any human could have the full knowledge of how the things worked; they were not from this dimension.
Kira'd obviously thought he was well prepared to use the weapon, so he likely knew a lot about the way it worked, but L believed the books were not only physical in their attack. They also wrecked havoc on the psyche of the user.
Haruka had mentioned the changes in her brother, that his more recent actions were opposite to how he'd previously behaved. He'd been focused on joining the police force, had always held himself to a near impossible moral standard and she'd not been able to understand how he'd changed so fully without adding in another factor.
L believed the notebook was the missing piece. When used, perhaps even just once to kill someone who was evil, it began exerting a power over the owner of the book. Light had always wanted to extract justice, but he'd found murder reprehensible. Light had always cared about his twin, but he'd never looked at her with spite and he'd certainly never shown a romantic preference for her.
These alterations combined led Ryuzaki to believe that Light had used the Death Notebook without truly understanding how it worked. Had he known he would not have done it, but he was now changed so completely that he thought nothing of murder, that he sought to dominate his sister and, if his newest set of behaviors were correctly interpreted, that he was contemplating suicide.
Haruka had not yet come to that conclusion and L did not wish to tell her of his suspicions. He could be wrong, though he gave his assumption an eighty percent chance of being correct, and he didn't want to add further stress to her shoulders. While it was impossible for him to mistake the signs of depression and desperation, she could not fathom her brother ending his own life. Despite all the things he'd done to her in months gone by that was not likely to enter her mind as a possibility.
When he visited the previous evening only to find her uncommunicative, surrounded by school books and studying as if her life depended on it, he spoke to her of the sudden differences in Light. She'd agreed that he was changed yet again, but offered no ideas for an explanation.
It seemed to L that she was purposely ignoring the situation and he couldn't blame her for it. She'd been through more than enough heartache, but he wondered if she might have an inkling on some level that she chose to disregard. Of course, she probably also put faith in her own abilities; Haruka would expect to know if Light was going to die.
That was another thing he'd put time into contemplating. The visions she'd described had to do with external forces causing a death, things that could be prevented if she were to interrupt the chain of events, but he doubted suicidal tendencies could be blocked in the same way. It was too subjective. The sufferer could decide to find help or not. They could take medication or not. They might speak of their problem or not. Too much was dependent on the victim and their own strength of will for anyone else to have much impact.
She'd not seen her brother's death again, but that didn't mean it wasn't approaching. In a way it would be the easiest route for all involved; Kira would take himself out of commission and all that would be left was a cold case. L did not doubt that Light would play innocent until the end and beyond, they would never find his notebook and he would remain guiltless for all practical purposes. His life would be regarded as one cut short.
That would be the best outcome for him short of killing his pursuer.
The question was did Yagami, Light feel trapped? Did he feel like he had no way to move forward? The information he needed, Ryuzaki's name, may as well have been buried beneath layers of glacial ice and L could think of no way for the boy to find it out baring another supernatural power he didn't seem to have access to.
L was now awaiting the end of the Kira case and felt almost sure it would come without his needing to lift another finger. Light would orchestrate one final death.
Light felt nothing.
His soul was barren and though his heart was beating he almost believed it didn't really exist.
He'd lost. There was no way around it and he thought he should be murderously angry, but he couldn't even muster enough emotion to feel annoyed.
The people around him, what good were they? What had they done for the world? He'd done so much, had made so many grand plans and had advanced the cause of good; why was it they laughed and smiled while he stood still? Why could he only act out a poor imitation of their feelings when he should have been the most vibrant of them all?
They didn't notice. They didn't see that he was a failure and he thought this should bother him but it didn't. He didn't care that they missed what he thought should be obvious. He realized that only a week back they'd aggravated him to the point contemplating their deaths; their frivolous actions and nonsense words had been nothing but an irritation that brought them under his scrutiny and now he didn't care.
He couldn't understand this new way of not-feeling, nothing about it made sense. Where was this void inside of him and how had it gotten there?
Though he wondered he didn't worry over it, didn't really want to find the answer. There was no point. Kira would not be the winner in this game. He had no way of finding L's name and he'd tried.
If anything was enough to awake a bit of emotion it was that thought. The knowledge that he'd done everything he could to find the information he required, but had been unable to locate it, still made him angry. However, that anger did no good. Thinking of it drove him to the brink of insanity, had him desiring to go at the strange man with a knife, but that would do nothing except get him locked in a cell in a psychiatric ward or worse have him put on trial for Kira's killings.
The Eye Deal was out of the question. He refused to cut his life in half for L.
He would not sign his own death warrant that way; despite all the feeling he lacked pride still existed in a diluted form. He was too proud to die at the hands of another. Kira had been loved, revered and feared. He'd been a God and this God would not be killed by some puny, worthless human who'd never done a thing with their lives and never would either. He would not face the shame of dying before his worthless family or the worthless police or the worthless people of the world.
Yes, his family was worthless. Sayu was young and stupid. His mother was old and dull witted. His father was purposely blind and accidentally ignorant. Haruka was...not entirely worthless.
His twin. What would she think if she knew how far he'd fallen? Even now she had an idea of his torment, though he seriously doubted she could ever empathize and she did not know the full extent of it. She had no idea how deeply he'd dug his grave, but Haruka and he were alike. As she'd said she also had a plan for leading the world, but it was different than his and he'd thought her ridiculous. He wasn't sure what he thought of it now.
In the end she'd been right and that was odd for him. He'd always been the victor in that arena; she was too immature and easily angered. Perhaps that was no longer true.
She'd been his lover, but he wondered now if she meant it and found that even that didn't matter. The idea failed to arouse an emotional response.
Ryuzaki had feelings for her, he was sure of it. She would be better off with him, the master in this game and countless others. Light had thought he would triumph over the freak of a detective, but then she'd seen his end, his loss, and everything spiraled out of control. He'd attempted to regain a foothold, of course he had because how could he let go without a fight?, but it was for nothing. Everything he'd done was to be wasted.
The battle was over. Unbeatable Kira had been conquered and His new world would not see the light of day.
Neither would he.
He'd made the choice, the final decision. There could be no coming back from any of this, not even giving up the Death Note would fix his problem. If he did that he would be left without any memory of what he'd done using the Note while still remembering the relationship he'd shared with Haruka.
How To Use XXII:
"The individuals who lose the ownership of the Death Note will also lose their memory of the usage of the Death Note. This does not mean that he will lose all the memory from the day he owned it to the day he loses possession, but means he will only lose the memory involving the Death Note."
His old self, stupidly moral as he'd been, would not be able to live under that weight. The outcome wouldn't change.
She answered on the second ring.
The same. Haruka was always the same while simultaneously always different. How did she do that? He would never know.
It didn't matter anyway.
"I just wanted to say goodnight." His voice sounded hollow even to his own ears. He couldn't force himself to put emotion into this, though he wondered if he should try. Didn't she deserved that much? What could he say that was true?
"I love you."
Haruka blinked in surprise. What was this about? Nearly eleven o'clock and he was calling her for this?
"I know that, but thanks I guess. I love you, too." This was weird and it felt even stranger. What was he doing?
"Mom said you'd be coming home to tomorrow."
A statement, not like he was asking it it was true. What was he doing?
She shook herself and answered, "Yeah, I'll be there in the morning. See you then, okay?"
"Yes, you'll see me then. 'Bye."
And he hung up.
"What the–" she muttered. This felt ominous and after a moment of allowing concern to wash over her she called L who answered immediately.
Haruka released a huff of annoyance. He was forever on the edge of being rude to her. "Light just called me and he sounded, I don't know, off. Like really. He's doing something, but I don't know what. He didn't say anything that seemed important."
"Whatever it is we'll know soon."
"I suppose so, but–"
"Wait there." He gave his order and then disconnected.
Annoying. Where else would she go?
He'd been right. Light would end his life and he was going to do it tonight.
L wasn't going to tell her. There was nothing she could do to prevent it and this was the best outcome he could have hoped for. Kira's stint as god would come to a halt, Light would die technically innocent and the things Haruka wanted to keep hidden would never be found out.
She was tapping her foot when he entered her apartment, squawked loudly when he pulled her into the elevator and dug her heels into the ground when they got to the roof.
"It's too cold! What are you doing?"
"I'm not sure."
"Oh great. Well, good for you. You can stand in the chill alone, Ryuzaki. Some of us have things to do, like sleeping. I know you're unfamiliar with that concept, but I have to get up early in the morning and–"
"I do as well. What did Light say to you?"
His redirection confused her, he was too abrupt, but she answered honestly. "He said goodnight, I love you and said he'd see me in the morning."
"Really? Did he say he would see you?"
She thought back to the conversation. "Uh, not exactly, it was more like I would see him, but that's the same thing so what does it matter?"
"It probably doesn't."
"Then why bring it up?" Neither of them were making sense tonight. Maybe it was something in the air. "Whatever. You're both the same, you know that? In too many ways."
"I've thought so, too. If he wasn't Kira I think we would have been friends. I almost consider him one anyway."
He knew she was giving him a look of disbelief, but it was true. He wasn't sure why he felt that way, but the feeling remained though it was inexplicable. It might have been because of Haruka, but he didn't think so.
He supposed he would never know.
She stood with him for far too long. Despite her complaints about the temperature she was disinclined to leave without him so they stood on the roof, for no good reason as far as she could tell, for nearly an hour before L suddenly decided to return indoors.
He didn't say anything when she exited the elevator, didn't even kiss her, and she glared at him as the doors slid closed, but there wasn't much she could do about it.
Strange behavior all around and she still felt uneasy, but Haruka went to bed without resolving the situation. She was too tired to think on it and decided she would try to find answers the next day.
"Urgh," she muttered thinking of the day to come; L would be speaking with her father. She cringed at the thought. For some reason she didn't think he would lie about this, even though she'd asked him to when he told her of the appointment. It was the reason she was going to spend the day home with her mother, Light and Sayu.
In any event that was a bridge she'd known she would have to cross eventually. The only real worry was Light and what kind of explosion he would have when he found out, but she didn't think L would let it be known by her brother even if he told Soichiro.
On this she would just have to trust him.
Morning came and Ryuzaki's meeting with the father of his whatever she was began just before she left. He'd made sure there were no weapons to be used and he was relatively confident that he wouldn't be killed during this assembly.
Overall he wasn't uncomfortable with the situation and conducted himself in the way he usually did.
"Ryuzaki, please be honest. Do you have feelings for Haruka?" Soichiro hated this and he felt like it might be better not to know, but this was important. If he had to voice objections he would, though he knew L was already aware of them all. That made it even more difficult. This whole conversation seemed unnecessary, but he couldn't leave these things unsaid.
The older man flinched. That was exactly what he didn't want to hear, but the next answer would be far worse. "And, as far as you know, does she... Does she," he hesitated, but pushed through. "Does Haruka have the same feelings for you?"
She'd demanded he lie if this question came up, as they'd both known it would, but he was against that. Subterfuge would not be profitable in this instance.
As a father this was the worst challenge he'd ever faced, perhaps as a human being. He couldn't imagine going through this again with Sayu at some point, but maybe that wouldn't be as difficult. Surely she wouldn't end up with someone in this line of work, she was too carefree. "Has she spoken of it?" He was still holding onto a thin strand of hope. Ryuzaki thought she felt the same, but he could be mistaken.
"She confessed first."
He sighed loudly and sagged into his seat. Of course she did. That was exactly like her and now he came to the most important part of all.
With his eyes closed, he couldn't stand to watch L answer, he asked haltingly, "Have you two– been," he felt like his pause took an hour. In reality it was hardly noticeable. "Intimate?"
Not profitable to tell a falsehood before, but now was the time to lie. "Of course not."
Soichiro chose to believe it. Whether it was the truth or not he didn't care. For all intents and purposes it seemed true. L's voice hadn't changed, he didn't look embarrassed and they hadn't been acting in a way that suggested they'd... Done things.
He hated to even consider it and silence fell. L had nothing to add, he wasn't about to volunteer information, and Yagami needed time to recover from the ordeal.
The ring of L's cell phone broke the uncomfortable quiet.
Her grief was unrestrained. "I don't know what, what to do..."
"Haruka, don't hang up the phone."
She could hardly get the words out. "Wha– what am I s-supposed to do?"
"Why d-d-did this have to ha-happen?"
He understood and there was nothing he could say except, "Wait for me."
Death Note Facts
There is no way to prevent a death that has been written in a Death Note.