We're All Mad Here

Chapter 13: A New Face and Knowing Your Enemy

Once the door creeps close, I'm thrown across the room I was dragged in. I stumble a bit but I regain my balance and I look around the room. The room seems to be some type of study because there are 4 bookshelves that block my view of the wall to my left, but there seems to be nothing else besides the bookshelfs in this room. In my observation of the room I don't see the person who dragged me in here and prevented me from killing that Bastard. I clench my fists and I swiftly walk across the room to leave but half way to my pursuit of the door separating me from that Bastard I was pushed again, I stumble again but since I have excellent balance I catch myself and I don't fall on the ground. This time I glare ahead of me and I listen. That Bitch who stole my hat must be here, she must have given my hat to that Bastard, it makes perfect sense; a Bitch and a Bastard go together just like how swords go with a swordsman.

"Sorry little girl but I'm not letting you out of this room."

My ears point me in the direction that that sultry voice is right in front of me, about 3 feet to be exact. "I'M NOT A LITTLE GIRL!"

"Ohh really?"

I feel something poke me in my chest.

"You see, GIRLS are LITTLE in the chest department and Woman like ME have BIG chests."

I feel my face heat up with embarrassment. I quickly take a few steps back to avoid the Invisible Bitch's judgement. "I-I'm n-not FLAT chested! I'm still growing! My body hasn't catches up with me yet."

In front of me I see a smirk appear, then her body. She has on: black fuzzy high heel boots that reach a few inches above her ankles, a loose white skirt that reaches above her knee which shows off her long and slender legs, a grey belt with a dusted pink belt buck shaped like a cat face, a deep pink V-neck shirt that shows a little bit of her full chest, a blazer with grey and teal horizontal strips with three button; the top two buttons are free while the last one is kissing its mate and the sleeves are bunched up to around her elbows. She has pink wrist warmers and a pink knitted beanie with cat ears. Out of her beanie are her deep teal locks in high twin tails that reach to the middle of her back, she has a round face, delicate features and a beige pink skin tone. Her eyes are large and they're mystifying. They are clouded grey, that have elements of a feline cat's eyes and are quite enchanting and a hint of alluring. They puzzle me. I've always been able to tell what someone is feeling through their eyes but with her eyes I can't tell anything about her.

She places her left hand of her hip and she ushers her right hand to her chest. "You see little girl I have a chest while." Then she points her right hand at my chest. "YOU have barley anything."


She quirks her fine toothed eyebrow at me, "17? You're face represents that you are 14." Then her eyes my body again, "… And your body too."

My face flushes tenfold, "I just have a baby face and my body hasn't fully developed yet."

"Hmm, is that so?"

"IT IS!"

"I feel sorry for you, little girl."

My face knits up, what's her problem. "Stop calling me a little girl, how old are you anyway? You look to be about my age. And don't feel sorry for me! I don't NEED your sympathy!"

"Well you see, with a body like yours you'll never experience the joys of feeling another's body and having your body worshiped. And for your information I'm 18."

"What the fuck do you mean by experien-"; she means having sex doesn't she. When realization hits me I lower my head and I start shaking.

"Ohh, I seem to have made the little girl cry. I'm so terribly sorry. This grown up word might be too much for a little girl like you so why don't you go back home and clutch yo-"

During her bullshit rant she placed her hand on my head, probably to try and comfort me but I don't need to be comforted. Once her hand touched my scalp in a flash I grabbed one of her fuzzy wrist and I flipped her over my head and make her face kiss the ground. I put my right knee in her lower back and I locked both of her hands down. "Well for your information, I don't need to be coddled. I'm a strong young woman and I can take care of myself. And for your information I wasn't crying, I was shaking with animosity."

"Hmmm, Daddy always said, 'never underestimate your enemy'."

I feel my head being gripped by her knees and in an instance my back is on the ground and she's hovering above me. My scowl from before embraces my face again as I look up into her grey orbs.

"That little accent you're doing just makes you sound like you're in heat, you know that."

"What accent, this is my normal voice." Then she grins at me, "Seems like you're too shy to say 'that' word."

"What word?"

Her grin cloaks her face and a teasing look envelopes her face. "Sex."

I feel the heat rise to my face again. Crap, now I'm blushing and scowling, not a good look… I think.

"You must have been a sheltered little girl."

"I though we've already covered that topic, I'm not a little girl. And what does it matter if I might have been sheltered or not."

She removes herself from my form and she stands up and walks over to the door and leans against it. I sit up and cross my legs on the ground.

"It means everything. If you're sheltered then you're more at risk to getting killed, raped or God know what."

"I'm fine."

"Now your fine, you don't know what the future will hold."

"The future isn't that hard to predict, I mean I know in the near future I'm going to kill that Cannibal."

Now it's her turn to scowl at me.

"I've been trapped on this island for 2 months and anyone who comes here ends up leaving in 10 minutes or ends up like that guy on the dining table."

"I've been on this island for over 10 minutes and I'm not going to end up as a meal for that Bastard." I counterattacked, and my comment seems to have made her irritated now because her face knitted up while she still carried her grin.

"Shut the Fuck Up! Stop talking nonsense! If it wasn't for me you would've been torn open and your organs would have been eaten by now!"

"I'm not talking nonsense; if you want to hear nonsense then this is nonsense: Nonsense did this today and then that and OH MY GOD! Nonsense talked to Blabberjack?! Well you see Nonsense was-"

The Bitch pitched the bridge of her noise and held up her right hand up to me, "Okay, Okay. I Get it, you weren't talking nonsense. Happy now?"

Am I happy? Hmmm… "Nope."

The Bitch started to rub her face, "that was a ret-"

"There's no such thing as a stupid question. There are only stupid people, but never stupid question."

"I WASN'T about to say that it wa- you know what! Screw You!"

"But I don't have a screw driver and I can't screw the bolts in my head, wait. Do I have bolts? Come here and check to see if I have any bolts? I did suffer some brain-"

I KNEW IT! You suffered brain damage! You must have been dropped on your head when you were a baby or maybe you were dropped in the sea-"

"I wasn't dropped in the sea. I have a devil fruit power and because of that I've always been super careful around water."

She looked me straight in the eye. "You have a devil fruit?"

"Well yeah, isn't that what I just said."

"What's your devil fruit?"

I'm not going to tell you."

"Wh-What! Why not?!"

"My parents told me to never talk to strangers and tell them what my devil fruit is. If I do I'll be killed."

She started rubbing her face again. "Okay, what about this, I'll tell you my name and you tell me your name. Simple enough right?"


"Why The Fuck NOT?!"

"Because you don't seem trustworthy. You did steal my hat and Dorothy, and you gave that Cannibal my hat- DOROTHY!" I jumped up from the ground and I run over to the grey eyed Bitch.


Pain. I clench my right cheek. The Bitch slapped me across my face; I bet I have a red mark there. I have a cut on my forehead and a hand print on my cheek… I guess I should be lucky that I only have simple injuries. I kinda expected to have internal bleeding or broken bones on my first island-

"OW! You just slapped me and now you just bonked me on my head! That hurt!"

"Well you seemed to be daydreaming and the only way which I know how to get someone's attention is by hitting them."

I pout and I start rubbing my head, Dracule never hit me like that before. "…Meanie Bitch…"

"Shut up and listen to me. I only took your hat because it looked purr-fectly amazing. It was just meant as a joke, I never would have imagined that you would have come here! I just thought that you would see the Grandoffs-"

"'Grandoffs'? What's that?"

"I heard-"

"Hey you aren't speaking in that sultry voice anymore."


"Really? We-"

Shut up! I heard Asura, and before you ask, Asura is that guy who you've been calling the 'Cannibal'. I ONLY know his name because he's infamous and I've heard his name being calling in the Transponder Snail calls that he's had. Asura's underlings are those Grandoffs, I heard that one day Asura was bored so he terrorized the Grandoffs and manned them to the point where they can't see and taste anything, and he even sowed all their open cavities closed. Since the Grandoffs only have their hearing and sense of touch left they depend on those the most. Anyway, I thought you would get scared when you saw a Garndoff but NO you just had to play with one of them and go off and try and kill the left hand of the Death Pirates."

"When you say 'Transponder Snail' you mean a Den Den Mushi right?"

"Well yeah, a Den Den Mushi and a Transponder snail are the same. Didn't you know that? Ohh wait, you were sheltered so of course yo-"

"SHUT UP! I only grew up knowing the name of it as Den Den Mushi, I've never heard someone call it a Transponder snail before!"

Wait… Death Pirates… that sounds familiar… but were… I close my eyes trying to remember.




"GARRETT! Those Damned Monkeys are SOO stupid. They said tha- "

I entered the study expecting to see Garrett in there but he wasn't there, but someone else was; Dracule Mihawk. He was reading a paper inside a folder and his sharp eyes locked with mine.

"Garrett isn't in here."


His golden eyes left mine and they traveled back to his paper and a scowl formed on his face. I walked over to his chair and I sat down on the armrest of his chair.

"Whatcha reading? Looks important."

"It is important."

"What is it?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

"I want to know."

"You don't need to know."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."





"Why Not?!"

"Small children shouldn't know about this."

"… Like how I shouldn't tell people that your friends with Shanks."

That comment caused Dracule to stop looking at the very important paper that I couldn't see that he was reading and look at me. "We are not friends. He is a man who doesn't know how to mind his own business and he only comes here to taunt me. He is my enemy not my friend."

"Really because Shanks said that you two were best of friends but it had to be a secret because if the World Government found out you two were friends you wouldn't be a Warlord anymore."

"… Do Not believe a single word that man ever tells you."


"He is always drunk and drunken people don't know the difference between reality and a dream. Red-Hair is always drunk so he doesn't even know what reality is anymore."

"… Really? I bet the Marines wouldn't know that, I bet they think he's a super strong pirate because he has a bounty and if I tell them you two were best friends and frolic on beaches together while holding h-"

"Fine. I'll tell you what I'm reading. But we are not friends in any shape or form."

"Okay, I'll tell Shanks that next time he comes."

"He won't ever be coming here again."


"I'm going to kill him, that's why."

"… But you say that every day."

Then I impersonate Dracule: "Red-Hair, I will kill you if you don't get off my island right now."

Then I impersonate Shanks: "Hawkeye! My old Buddy and Pal, I just thought we could exchange some words between our swords and share a drink later. How does that sound?"

My impersonation of Dracule: "I will gladly spar with you, but this will be the last time you come to my island."

My impersonation of Shanks: "Great! Let's go and get some booze and have a Party!"

Dracule again: "Red-Hair, get out of my wine room. If you don't exit that room in 10 seconds I will kill you."

Shanks again, "Found it! Time to get DRUNK! Where are the kids anyway? It's time for them to have a taste of your booze don't you think?"

"Then your two fight for an hour, get drunk and in the morning Shanks leaves, the end." I look up into Mr. Fancy Pants' face and smile.

"… We do no-"

"Info time! Come on!"

Dracule signs again and pinches the bridge of his noise, "Very well then. There is a new Warlord. He is the captain of the Death Pirates." Dracule looks me straight in the eye. "No matter what do Not meet with or see the Death Pirates. If you even hear their names run and leave that island. You must avoid those Pirates no matter what, understand."

Dracule seems extract series about this, why?

"Do you understand me Madeline?"

I hesitantly shake my head as a yes.

"Good. N-"


Dracule scowled again and I hear him mutter something about 'an idiot's here' and 'I need to get some locks'.

I jumped off of the armrest of Dracule's chair and I skip over to the foyer with a mischievous smile on my face, "WEELLCCOOMMMEE BACK UNCLE SHANKS!"I can literally feelDracule's scowl intensify and instead of it being aimed at Shanks its target is me now. I turn around and smile sweetly at Dracule; he absolutely HATES it when I call Shanks 'Uncle Shanks'.




I remember that day now, Dracule made me promise to never meet or see a Death Pirate and later that day when Dracule was trying to reclaim a wine bottle from Shanks, I stole his file and I read about the Death Pirates. I only read a little about the crew and I memorized their names but the file never said anything about them being cannibals. Something doesn't seem right. I open my eyes and I'm welcomed to stone grey eyes.

"The Death Pirates…"

"Yeah what about them, are you okay? You kind of just spac-"

"The Death Pirates' Captain Shinu Chieko is a Warlord and his whole crew is protected under his name. Chieko became a Warlord 6 years ago after he kidnapped a Vice Admiral and later ate him alive in front of 10,000 Marines. Nobody could stop him because his crew mates took the Marines who tried to stop him and ate them as well. The guy out there is Asura, his left hand man. Asura is known as the 'Wild Card' because of how unpredictable he is. Marines often doesn't interfere with the Death Pirates at all because if they do they will eat anyone and anything in sight, and since their all protected under Chieko the World Government can't do anything." I placed my right hand under my chin. Asura's known as being unstable and uncontrollable. Maybe his Captain couldn't control him anymore so he sent him to go wreak havoc on others knowing that the Government won't be able to touch him no matter what. Or he could be a Division Commander like Blue Bird… hmmm…

"You seem very informed about the Death Pirates. If you know who Asura is then why were you going to engage him? Didn't your parents ever tell you to never engage a wild animal?"

"Sorry but I don't plan on ever getting engage to anyone, even a wild animal. I need to focus on myself. If I think about love and other bullshit like that I'll get distracted, and I didn't recognize that guy. I only know the names of the Death Pirates and how Chieko became a Warlord."

"That's not what I- never mind. Oh right my story, you see-"

"I already know about the Death Pirates so you don't have to fill me in."

She raised her right hand and she pinched my left cheek, I let out a surprised squeak and I looked up and she had a scowl on her face. "Just shut up and hear me out."

"Owowowowo- can you please let go of my cheek it hurts!"

"Shut Up!" Eventually she did let go but the scowl didn't leave my face. I got slapped, bonked on the head and my cheek got pitched; all by one person.

She huffed and placed her hands on her hips, "I know that you know about the Death Pirates but I wanted to give you this." She slowly lifted her beanie of her head and on top of her head is…


Sitting on the grey eyed young woman's head is Dorothy. When Dorothy heard me call her name she uncurled herself from the circle she was in and she looked into my eye and I looked into her eyes. In slow motion Dorothy jumped off of the teal headed woman's head and I extended my hands out to her and she landed in the palms on my hands. Dorothy started squeaking at me and she held onto my fingers for dear life, I looked down at the frenzied dormouse in my palms and a tender smile embraced my face. "I'm so sorry it took me this long to get you back Dorothy. Please forgive me."


"Thank you."

Dorothy then left my palms and she climbed up my arm and she sat down on my right shoulder.

"Am I at least a little bit more trustworthy now?"

I looked up and I see grey eyes staring at me.

"… You protected Dorothy from Asura and for that I thank you. But you still let him have my hat so I'm still angry at you for that."

"I would have protected your hat but when I came back here Asura was coming and if he found me he would steal me devil fruit powers and eat me! He prefers woman over men for meals! So when I heard him coming I put your mouse in my pocket and I was about to grab your hat when the door opened and my only chance of survival was to run and leave your hat."

I ponder her wonder; if Asura found Dorothy instead of my hat he would have swallowed her whole, but-

"I know if it weren't for me you would have your mouse and hat, but I know how to make this better." She walks over to me and she slings one of her arms over my shoulders. "I have a proposition for you and if you decide to help me with my little problem then I'll help you with your problem."

I eye her for a second then I release a sigh, "What's your 'proposition'?"

"You take down Asura, along with the assistance your yours truly." She points to herself. "When we take down Asura you can get your hat back and I can finally leave this island. What do you say? It's a win-win for both of us."

She could have left this island 2 month ago but why did she stay… maybe she stayed to protect people. She would tease the travelers who come to Ever Green Island so much that they had to leave and if they still won't leave they would end up die.

I wiggle out of her arm around my shoulders but I stay facing her and I extend my hand to her. "We kill this Bastard and that's it."

She grins at me and she takes my hand. "Yep, if we leave and he's still alive then he would tell his Captain and he would come and hunt us down. And the Marines-"

"The Marines won't ever find out until I want them to know."

That peeked her curiosity.

"Ohh, how are you going to keep this event away from the Marines? They always find out about everything."

"That info is for me to know and for you to not know. I somewhat trust you now so, don't you think some introductions are needed now?"

A smile dances across her face, "OH! I'm such a terrible host! Not telling my guest my name!"

"Its fine," I play along with her little sarcastic comment,"I didn't ask to come in anyways. We both have terrible manners. I'm Madeline Hatter, but you can call me Maddie."

The teal headed woman stays quiet for a brief second and then she shakes her head. "I'm Cataria Cheshire. First name first and last name last, right? It's a pleasure to meet a Hatter. I've heard so much about your family but we can talk about that later. I have a plan about how to take down Asura, ready to hear me out?"

I'm shocked. I've never met another person beside people from Dad's home island and Garrett who have similar manners to me say their first name first and last name last. What type of rumors has she heard about my family? What's her plan anyway?

"Umm… sure, why the hell no? I'll all ears."

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