Keeper of the Spatula

Chapter 20: Reconciliation

After destroying the cursed golden spatula of Hoagie Grindulas in the lava of the Arctic volcano, and returning home from the Arctic Ocean, three days have passed since SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward’s return to Bikini Bottom. Things soon went back to normal as it was the day they left.

Right now, business at the Krusty Krab continued as Squidward took a customer’s order as usual.

“That’ll be two dollars.” Squidward stated as he took the money from the fish, and opened up the cash register (whose wounds never healed since the journey) and placed the money inside.

As the krabby patty was placed on the window, the fry cook peeked out from behind and whispered, “Pss! Ask him.”

“No.” Squidward dully told SpongeBob as he took the patty.

“Come on, ask him.” SpongeBob continued to plead quietly.

Squidward quickly caved in and gave the krabby patty to the customer as he drearily asked, “Listen, have you heard of any heroes around lately?”

“No…” the customer asked, looking very confused, “Not really.”

“You’re lucky.”

After the customer walked away, Squidward told the sponge, “You see, SpongeBob? Once again, you’re not a hero, you’re a zero.”

SpongeBob sighed sadly as he cooked more patties on the grill. “That’s a shame.” But he quickly smiled. “Oh well, at least we know we’re heroes.”

Squidward glanced back at him and commented, “You know, you’re really weirding me out, SpongeBob. For someone whose mind had been possessed by an evil cursed cooking utensil, you’re sure acting like your little normal annoying self.”

SpongeBob was a little puzzled by what Squidward was concerned about. “But what about you?” he asked as well. “I remember you held Hoagie too.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I am psychologically broken.” Squidward pointed out. “Just like I was the day we left.”

Whether Squidward was right or not, he’d probably never know, but SpongeBob smiled again and answered the question as well, “To tell the truth, I think I am a little broken.” He then looked concerned and a bit shamed. “I couldn’t tell you how scarred I was after losing Hoagie from my heart for good.” Then his giddy smile returned, “But…my happiness returned and my sorrow left when I held the one spatula I’ll ever have.” To show this, he picked up his usual cooking spatula and held it close.”

“Gag me.” Squidward dourly muttered as he turned back around.

“Also, if it hadn’t been for what you said back at the volcano, I don’t think I would have ever gotten back to normal!” SpongeBob mentioned.

“I don’t remember that!” Squidward shouted back. “I’ll have you know that everything I said before was because of the toxic fumes in the air. I still hate you no matter what.”

Suddenly, the front doors opened and Patrick came inside. “Hey SpongeBob!” he greeted with a wave.

“Hi Patrick!” SpongeBob greeted as he ran out of the kitchen and over to his best friend.

“You gotta help me.” Patrick pleaded to SpongeBob, looking frantic about something. “I’m sending another pen to Clarice, but I don’t know which one to send her.” He held out two different colored pens. “Should I send her this blue one or this one with funny-looking ink inside?”

As SpongeBob pondered over this, he stared at the ‘funny-looking inked pen’ and noticed something more funnily about it.

“Patrick, that’s not a pen.” SpongeBob pointed out. “That’s a lead pencil.”

“Wow,” Patrick said in amazement as he stared at the pencil. “A pen with lead inside. She’ll love this!”

To SpongeBob’s surprise, Patrick excitedly rushed out the door to find a mailbox to send another pen to his pen-pal. SpongeBob then went back into the kitchen and picked up his spatula. He held it in both his palms and began talking to it.

“I’m sorry about what happened before.” He said in a sincere tone. “I guess I was blinded by Hoagie’s abilities that I completely forgot what’s really important in life. You may not be possessed by a talented fry cook, but you’re my spatula and you can cook krabby patties better than Hoagie ever could.”

And to show just how much he appreciated his old spatula, SpongeBob decided to sing about it!

SpongeBob: OHHHH!

Hearing SpongeBob’s high notes, Squidward gritted his teeth in frustration and stuffed napkins in his ears, hoping to drown him out.

SpongeBob: Me and my Spat

He’s back in my hand

Serving up patties

And it’s just grand

SpongeBob scoops up all the krabby patties off the grill, having them neatly stacked on top of his spatula, and proceeds to toss them into the air with each patty landing neatly on the buns lined up on the counter.

SpongeBob: Me at my Spat

Still doin’ our part

Serving up patties

Now that he’s back in my heart

SpongeBob handed Squidward a plate with a krabby patty, but then retracted it just as he would do if still possessed by Hoagie, much to Squidward’s surprise. However, SpongeBob just grinned at his joke and handed it back while Squidward scowled in annoyance and snatched the plate out of his hands.

Afterwards, SpongeBob came out of the kitchen with two trays of krabby patties in each hand. With careful aim, he enthusiastically tossed each tray on the customers’ table. After which, SpongeBob continued singing.

SpongeBob: Before I was blinded

Before I was wrong

But with Spat to remind me where my heart lies

I can keep myself going

Back where I belong

The customers didn’t seem too entertained by SpongeBob’s song this time around; possibly because there was no flying golden spatula serving them their food. Nonetheless, SpongeBob continued singing from the bottom of his heart.

SpongeBob: OHHHH!

But this time, Mr. Krabs came out of his office and approached Squidward as he started singing the same song his employee sang with different lyrics, but the same tune.

Mr. Krabs: Hey! Me and my Cashie

We missed all the fun

Lost on the journey

With no credit done

Squidward: You two are lucky

I wanna go to bed

With what I’ve been through

I wish I were dead

From across the street, a large telescope was peering out of the Chum Bucket, which Plankton used to spy on the whole thing while he was sitting in a wheelchair that matched his height, and was wearing a neck brace and bandages on his arm and legs.

Plankton: I lost my ambition

I lost my life goal

Then Karen’s monitor strolled over behind Plankton and used her extendable arms to place a pillow behind her husband’s back.

Karen: But with that big failure, you can still do your worst

With this, Plankton grinned evilly as he possibly formed another one of his ideas now that he would go back to stealing the krabby patty formula.

Plankton: And I can keep myself going

I’m on a roll!

Back at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob was twirling around the restaurant with his spatula in one hand and a krabby patty in the other.

SpongeBob: OHHHH! Me and my Spat

We’re still a great team

Serving up patties

Just as it seems

SpongeBob: Me and my Spat

We’ll never be apart

Serving up patties

With all of our heart

As he finished his song, he twirled back into the kitchen and did a split on the floor for a finished beat. But as he lowered his head on the floor, he noticed something strange under the grill.

SpongeBob immediately came out of the kitchen with the item in hand. “Mr. Krabs!” he called out. “Do you know what this is?”

When Mr. Krabs spotted what SpongeBob had found, he screamed to see it was…an onion ring! Suddenly, a red warning light flashed and a loud siren rang out, startling all the customers.

Mr. Krabs yelled at the top of his lungs, “Vacate the premises, everyone!” as he chased out the customers, he continued yelling, “Ya heard me! Out all of ya!”

Once the restaurant was empty, the Krusty Krab once again went into lockdown with steel walls covering the windows and doors. An angry Mr. Krabs walked over to Squidward and SpongeBob, who both had equally odd looks.

“What’s wrong, Mr. Krabs?” SpongeBob asked in confusion.

“Do you know what that is, boy?” Mr. Krabs asked as he pointed at the onion ring.

SpongeBob gasped as he held out the onion ring. “Is this a cursed item that has another fry cook’s soul in it that we have to journey far and wide to destroy?”

Hearing this, Squidward’s expression became blank as he placed the wastebasket over his head and fell on his back inside the front counter boat.

“Of course not.” Mr. Krabs answered SpongeBob. “What are ya? Crazy? I dropped that blasted thing under the grill years ago. It’s been sitting there ever since, and leaving a foul stench that I can smell in the air every time I walk in the kitchen.”

This was generally proven when upon closer inspection; the onion ring was covered in mold and filth from where it had been all these years.

“Anyone who brings it out here will probably leave the place needin’ to be exterminated.” Mr. Krabs explained with his voice becoming distressed. “And do ya know how much that’s gonna cost me!” he then ran all the way back to his office. “Just put that thing in the cellar and never speak of it again!”

As SpongeBob stood there with a baffled expression, holding the moldy onion ring, Patrick suddenly came in out of nowhere with his usual dim smile.

“I’m back.” He said before spotting the onion ring, snatching it out of SpongeBob’s hand and eating it in one bite.

The End

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