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Everyone Makes Mistakes Part 2.5: Lars Miserables

By Uncle Scraps

Drama / Adventure

The Day

Original Idea by: Scraps

Collaboration work with: HikumiRin

Characters Created by: Rebecca Sugar

Chapter 1: The Day the City Stood Still

Author Note: The events in this story take place around the time of "A Girl and Her Lion."

Big Donut, present day


Quiet, that is what it is like to work a night shift, especially if you work at a place called "The Big Donut. There is barely a soul that walks in, especially after the whole tragedy that happened four months ago. Inside the shop, there is a young girl at the counter, sitting at a bench. Playing with her cell phone. This is Sadie; she is an employee at the Big Donut alongside her friend Lars, who now, is in the break room taking a nap. The two of them have an interesting relationship, with Sadie being the hard worker while Lars is the slacker. However, despite their differences and conflicts. The two manage to get along and during many times, they have had each other's backs. Some of the times, they managed to express feelings for each other. However, that can be discussed at a different time.

Sadie continued to play Irritated Avions on her phone as she leaned on the cash register. As she used her finger to shoot the feathered assailants at the blocks. She heard the sound of the door opening and the bell ring. As Sadie looked up, there was a hooded girl before the counter. Said put her phone away as she straightened herself up.

"Hello, welcome to the Big Donut, how can I help you?" Sadie said to the girl before her

The girl then removed her hood, revealing pail white skin, grey hair, and blue eyes which were black shot. The sight unnerved Sadie, who felt a chill in the air.

"Yes, I was wondering where your leader is?" the girl said as she looked at the menu of donuts above Sadie.

"Well, my boss is out of town." Sadie replied with a nervous chuckle. "But even then, he isn't around much."

"Is that so?" the girl replied as she looked to Sadie. "Then what about the human named Dewey, does he reside in this…city?"

Sadie hesitated as she glanced at the grey haired woman. "Yeah…he is our mayor. Just what do you want from him?"

The woman smiled as she turned back to the door. "Thank you for your services human. I look forward to seeing them in a much more…productive area."

As the woman left, Sadie sat back at the register chair, wondering what she meant by that. Suddenly, her thoughts were cut short by the sound of yawning and a tall teenager emerging from the back room. It was Lars, the slacker.

"Sadie…" Lars yawned as he stretched his arms. "Is it closing time yet?"

"Lars…" Sadie said, ignoring Lars's question. "I saw the strangest thing just now. It was a woman, but with grey hair, and black eyes. I think…it might have something to do with…"

"Oh please." Lars said as he walked over to the counter and poured a cup of coffee. "You'r starting to sound like Ronaldo. Come on Sadie, it has been four months now. Sure, I miss him but at least I'm not going to obsess over it and thing that the "Space Illuminati" is behind it." Lars then pointed to his chest with his thumb as he gave a smug expression "Unlike some people, I am the Unbreakable."

"Okay Mr. Unbreakable." Sadie said teasingly. "Then you can do the daunting task of taking out the trash."

Lars gave Sadie a big puppy dog look before Sadie raised him one look of disappointment.

"Now Lars." Sadie commanded.

"Fine…" Lars muttered as he stormed into the back room.


The Big Donut, Exterior, present day


Lars took the large cart of trash and began throwing it into the compactor that was behind the store. The bags were big a heavy to move. Not to mention that it was very cold and dark. Lars continued to throw trash into the compactor, having to compact it with every bag, he also at time had to manually compress the bags with a metal rod if they were stuck. It was disgusting, tedious and long work, and Lars hated every minute of it.

"Lousy trash compactor, why couldn't they build it on the inside?" Lars muttered to himself as he shivered. "The one day when it's not sunny and warm is when I am give the grossest job here, what a life."

Suddenly, Lars heard a noise from the other side of the building. The sound made the teen jump as he looked to the direction of the sound.

"Sadie?" Lars gulped. "Is that you?"

Lars grabbed the compression rod and held it like a weapon as he approached the side of the building. As he quickly pounced out to it, there was no one there. Lars sighed with relief as he lowered his weapon and proceeded back to the compactor.

"Sadie, if this is some joke for calling you crazy, then yo-"

Lars was silenced by the presence of a large Grey figure examining the trash and compactor. It was rather tall and has four lenses on each side of its rectangular head. Lars could see that the figure was hovering and it had two large metal horn like rods on its head that sparked with energy.

"What the..." Lars whispered as he watched the being examine the trash, accidentally dropping the rod in his hand to the ground, which made a audible thump.

As he did, the machine then turned to his direction. In an instant, it dashed over to the teen and towered over him. Lars screamed as he quickly picked up the compression rod and swung it at the being, only for it to break upon contact. Lars then fell to his knees and began to pray to the being.

"Please oh great Space Illuminati." Lars pleaded to the grey being before him sobbing like a small child. "Please don't eat me! Take Sadie instead, she has more meat on her bones."

The being then emitted a pale blue fan shaped light as it passed through Lars. The light then retracted and the being then responded.


Lars looked to his captor and smiled. "Does this mean I am going to live?"

The being looked down to Lars as it shifted lenses, wiping the smile from Lars's face .


Lars gulped as he remembered seeing Connie walking past the store earlier in the day, and even before then, he remembered her coming into the store time after time. Talking with Sadie and hanging out with her and Lars. It was actually thanks to her that he and Sadie were able to be so…passionate. As he thought this carefully, he was brought back to reality when the being spoke again.


"Wait…wait!" Lars shouted as he waved his hands at the Agate. "I know where she is, I can lead her to you. Just, no termination, okay Aggy…can I call you Aggy?"

The silent response from the


Lars gulped as he began walking away from the Agate. "Okay then...R-r-right this w-w-way."

As Lars escorted the Agate through the city, he turned back to the Big Donut and could see Sadie through the window. She was standing behind the counter, looking rather anxious as two Agate drones stood before her. He then saw her look to him and gave an expression of shock before she looked to the Agates.


Beach City Streets, present day,

Lars continued to march the Agate through the cold streets of the city. Not a soul present except for Lars and the Agate behind him. As Lars led the machine through the streets, he looked back to the Agate behind him.

"So...what did Connie steal from you guys?" Lars asked nervously. "I figured it has something to do with that Gem of hers. Or was it Steven? I knew that kid was trouble."


"G-g-good to know." Lars shuddered as he approached Connie house. "Well this is the place, and don't worry, I have been here a couple times with Sadie, So I know it's legit."

The Agate approached the doorway and looked around at the house. After a few seconds, the lens of the Agate switched from blue to yellow.


"Hey what about me?" Lars said to the Agate. "Does this mean I am off the hook?"

The Agate then turned back to Lars and approached him. Lars flinched as he felt the Agate ruffle his hair. Lars looked in confusion at this action.


Lars nodded as he backed away slowly. He then turned around and began to dash away from the Agate, when he looked back, he saw two more Agates fly in behind the first one. Lars then proceeded to sprint all the way back to the big Donut.


The Big Donut, present day


Sadie paced nervously, worried about what happened to Lars and where they were taking him. However, her answer came through the door in the form of a heaving teenager.

"Lars!" Sadie shouted in relief as she grabbed Lars into a hug. "Your okay, what happened back there? What did you do?"

Lars broke the hug as he began to close the blinds to the windows. "I didn't do anything…this time. That "Agate"…thing wanted to know where Connie lived. So I took him over there."

Sadie eyes widened at what she just heard "Lars! What the hell?" Sadie shouted as she smacked Lars in the arm.

"Ow! Lars replied as he rubbed his arm. "Hey, I'm not the bad guy, did those Agate guys tell you that Connie was a criminal? She had stolen stole something that belonged to them."

Sadie approached Lars and sat on one of the guest chairs. "No they didn't. However, they did ask me for the location of any gems in the area."

"Well what did you tell them?" Lars said as he sat down on the chair across from Sadie. "You told them about those Gems with the Temple, right?"

Sadie nodded as she peeked through the blinds. "Yeah, but I don't think-"

"Good, those Gems are nothing but trouble." Lars interrupted as he leaned back in the chair. "It was bad enough that one of them killed Smiley. Well...with the fact that my dad runs Funland, it's more of a blessing in disguise."

Just then, the duo saw Ronaldo burst though the door with a camera in hand. Lars and Sadie jumped back as he quickly ran into the back room. As the two looked at each other, they head screaming and shouting. The duo peeked through the blinds as they saw the residents of Beach City running through the streets. Lars then noticed Agates flying through the sky.

"Lars, there...there attacking the city." Sadie said as she watched an Agate snatch a man off the streets like a hawk.

Without a word, Lars grabbed Sadie and rushed them into the back room. The two then looked around and began to grab all the boxes, they could pick up and prop them against the door. As they did, they all were startled by the sudden loss of power, leaving the two of them in darkness. The only exception to this was Ronaldo, who sat in the corner of the room. He was staring into his camera as the light shined on his face and as tears and snot poured down his face, making him look like a dribble nosed women from an indie horror film.

"To anyone who sees this, this is Ronaldo Fryman, creator and founder of Keep Beach City Weird. I had discussed time after time about the Diamond conspiracy, about how the Gem people from space are planning to take over the earth. Well just a few moments ago, a swarm of robots attacked the city, I heard them talking about a Master Diamond before they attacked. I was lucky to get out alive but I am now barricaded in this building along with my friends Lars and Sadie, people who work at the Big Donut."

Lars shushed Ronaldo as he heard a crash from the other side of the room. As he and Sadie looked through the trays of donuts, they saw three Agates enter the shop, one from the door and two through the now broken windows.


As two of the three exited the building and flew away, the remaining Agate turned around and approached the counter. Lars watched as it looked at the counter and then the small bell on the table. The Agate then raised its hand and gently tapped the bell, making a ringing noise.


"Was that…it's trying to pretend to be a customer in order to lure us out." Sadie whispered to Lars as she stared at the Agate. "…and it's doing a bad job at it, a really bad job."

"Man, I've made excuses not to go to work that were better than that." Lars whispered to Sadie.

As Sadie and Lars kept watch, Ronaldo continued to panic. The camera shook in his hands as he continued speaking to it.

"I just want to apologize to Jami's mom, Jenny's mom, and my mom. And I'm sorry to everyone. I was very naive. I am so so sorry for everything that has happened. Because in spite of what Jamie says now, it is my fault. Because it was, my project and I insisted. I insisted on everything. I insisted that there was a Diamond conspiracy. I insisted that we keep investigating. I insisted that we interact with those Gems and fought to find the truth. Everything had to be my way. And this is where we've ended up and it's all because of me that we're here now, in the dark, cold, and hunted. I love you dad, Peedee. I am so sorry."

"Ronaldo, shut up!" Sadie shouted to Ronaldo in a hushed tone, rushing over to the panicking teen and grabbing his shirt. "You're going to give away our cover, and then we really will be in trouble."

"It's gone." Lars said as he saw the Agate rush out the entrance and into the sky. Suddenly, the trio heard a large explosion as they saw a large black van dash past the enterance. A whole swarm of Agates dashing past the store followed this. Lars and Sadie could hear the sound of them passing by like jets.

"What is that? I'm scared to close my eyes, I'm scared to open them! We're gonna die in here!" Ronaldo panicked as he rushed up next to Sadie. "Save me!"

Sadie then grabbed Ronaldo and slapped him across the face. Causing the nerdy teen to grab his face and cry sofly.

"Get a grip on yourself Ronaldo!" Sadie exclaimed to Ronaldo, suddenly remembering a story that Steven told her about him a while back. "Hey, remember when you fought the snake people and nearly beat them?"

Ronaldo sniffled as he looked to Sadie. "Y-yeah?"

"Steven told me how you were so brave, using your physic powers to force the…sneople into submission."

"Sadie, that's no-" Lars interjected, only to be interrupted with an elbow to the stomach from Sadie.

"Your right…You are right!" Ronaldo said as he regained his confidence. "I should not be scared of a few tin solders, I faced things worst them those."

"Yeah!" Sadie said supportively.

"Fuck me." Lars muttered as he rubbed his eyes with his hand in irritation. "This isn't going to work, there are only three of us and a…god know how many of them!"

Suddenly, there was an even bigger sound of rumbling as they felt the ground shake below them. As the three looked through the donut racks, they saw the outside was brighter, as chunks of metal and parts of Agates fell to the ground. It seemed that there was a large explosion, larger than the last one. Almost like a bomb of sorts.

"What is going on out there?" Lars said as he tried to get a better view.

"It's a sign!" Ronaldo shouted as he pumped his fists in excitement. "The people are fighting back! There is hope for us after all!"

Ronaldo then reached into his pants and pulled out a revolver. This sight shocked Lars and Sadie.

Ronaldo! Where the hell did you get a gun?" Sadie asked the armed teenager. "More importantly, do you know how to use that thing?"

Ignoring Sadie, Ronaldo pushed her and Lars aside as he pushed through the racks of doughnuts. Noticing a lone long john on his shoulder, he took it off his shoulder and bit into it before dropping it to the floor. He then proceeded to walk out the building.

Sadie and Lars watched with disbelief at what just happened, Sadie then ran over to the back of the room and opened a long box, inside was a case that read "In case of Gem related incidents only! Sadie then pulled out her wooden spear, the very one she used when she was trapped on that Gem island many years ago, only the tip was plated with metal and it had a wrapped grip with a yellow gem attached to it. She then pulled out several vials of Fire salt, a warp whistle, a small canister with a cross on it what was filled with of an light blue paste, and a small rose-colored amulet. As she attached the items to herself. She looked to Lars and handed him a short sword before walking towards the exit of the shop.

"Sadie! This is crazy!" Lars shouted as he chased after Sadie. "This isn't going to work; did you see the swarm going after that van? Who knows how many are out there?"

Sadie the turned to Lars and glared at him. "I'm not asking you to come along, but Ronaldo is going to hurt himself, and if anyone is going out there, they need to be with someone who has had experiences with fighting monsters."

Lars sighed as he watched her leave the big Doughnut. "Since when did you become so good at fighting monsters?"

"Since I killed several of them myself, player two!" Sadie shouted as she left the sight of Lars.

Lars looked around at the shop, and then to his sword, and then to the entrance. Groaning in frustration. The young man then rushed over and finally caught up with Sadie, who was alongside Ronaldo as he was examining a large scorched crater.

"Hmmm…" Ronaldo said as he brought up his camera. "We can see there that a large explosive was used to deal with the robots."

As Ronaldo continued to examine the area. Sadie and Lars looked around as well. The whole area was desolate. Not a single person was around. It was so quiet; Sadie could hear her heart race. Suddenly, the three heard a noise and saw a lone Agate hover into view.

Eventually, the three began to walk through the streets. Armed for any sign of an attack. After some time, they approached the outskirts of the temple, Sadie noticed that many of the Agates were gathered around the exterior of the temple. She then noticed a woman standing before them. Her air was grey, her skin was white as chalk, and her eyes were as back as the night sky. Sadie recognized her as the woman that entered the shop several hours ago. She was alongside another Gem, who Sadie knew as one that was with Steven.

"Lars!" Sadie whispered to Lars. "It's her; it's the woman I told you about!"

"Wow!" Lars said as a grin rolled on his face. "I know that she wants to kill us but, HOT a What Baabhabhiat!"

Sadie punched Lars's arm, causing him to wince and rub it.

"Hey, don't blame me for being honest." Lars said defensively as he glared at Sadie.

"Look something is happening!" Ronaldo whispered as he pointed to the commotion before them.

The three watched as a portal suddenly opened before the two Gems and their Agate army. From this portal, a tall figure emerged. His appearance looked much like Pearl, but he had silver hair and a silver beard. He also wore a light blue suit and had a clear Gem on his right shoulder. As he appeared, the two Gems before him bowed while the Agates saluted.

"I think that's the leader." Sadie whispered to Lars and Ronaldo. "He must be Master Diamond."

"I was right!" Ronaldo gasped as he looked to his hands. "Master Diamond is the one behind this, hence why it's called the Diamond Conspiracy. It's his conspiracy!"

Sadie and Lars looked to each other in shock. Not just about the idea that the Gems are planning to take over the earth, but more on the fact that Ronaldo, the crackpot of Beach City, was right all along.


Crystal Temple exterior, present day


Pearl and Zirconia stood there alongside the Agates. A few moments ago, the two of them lead a invasion to capture Connie, who had the crystal of Rose Quartz. However, as they caught her, Garnet and Amethyst were able to ambush them and rescue her. Using light cannon to destroy a large portion of their army. Zirconia and Pearl were now waiting for their master to return anxious about his reaction to such a failure.

"You should have dealt with your comrades." Zirconia hissed to the Gem beside her. "You knew them inside and out. It would have been no challenge."

"You forget, daughter, that even if I know everything about them, they can still have an advantage." Pearl replied. "Besides, I am not the one who will be punished, I didn't lead the mission, you did."

Zirconia growled at Pearl, but before she could respond, a portal opened before the two. As the Gems directed their attention to the portal, they kneeled as a tall being emerged. It was Master Diamond, leader of the Crystal Gems and the Gemain God of Order. As soon as he looked down to the Gems before him, they began to chant.

"Vos ego appello Dominum Anancites ipsum Obsidiani, Crystallus primogenitus matrem suam formam prætulit fortitudo et, et divinum Cristallum Imperij omnipotentis loquentis. Evigilabit ex dormitione tuaita ut, Vestibulum, atque hereditate tuam discipulus, ut tibiquod petis. Vitae."

Diamond then watched as they rose from the ground. Waiting to hear the report of their mission.

"Well…" Diamond said coldly as he glared at Pearl and Zirconia. "What have you brought me? Is the Furem captured?"

Zirconia and Pearl looked to each other before Zirconia replied. "Not exactly Master, we had her, and then she…got away."

Diamond walked up to Zirconia and gently placed his hand on the back of her neck. After looking into her eyes for a few moments, he clenched his grip and brought her down onto the ground before him. Zirconia struggled as Diamond held her down.

"How did she escape?" Diamond hissed as he brought her closer to his face. "You planned this and had a army. I gave you resources to combat this. HOW DID SHE ESCAPE!"

Zirconia whimpered as she grabbed Diamond's robe. Black tears began to trickle down her face.

Diamond then turned to Pearl. "Can you answer this?"

"Yes Master." Pearl replied as she approached them. "Zirconia was focusing more on controlling the temple rather than apprehending the Furem. She even ordered me not to hunt down the other Gems. Despite the fact that they could help in her escape, which they did."

"But…you…we…" Zirconia sputtered before a large fist slammed into her face.

"You will speak when I command you to speak." Diamond hissed as he released his grip and stood up. "You will also provide your loyalty to your creator, even if you are leading a mission. Do you hear me?"

Zirconia nodded as she tried to get up, only for Diamond to stomp on her chest, causing her to cough up a lot of blue blood.

"You also seemed to forget that you are to follow my orders TO! THE! LETTER!" Diamond roared. "Now not only did you jeopardize my plan, but now there is a chance that they will inform others and complicate thing. Oh, If I had not had Onychinos to spy on them, then your punishment would be much more severe."

Diamond then extended his hand to Pearl, who summoned a spear and handed it to him. He then waved his hand and two Agates lifted Zirconia up and tore off her clothing. Diamond then planted the Spear into the ground with its blade facing up. Zirconia started to panic as she was brought above the spear.

"NO MASTER! STOP PLEASE!" Zirconia screamed, her pleas were of no avail as she was now over the spear. "I'M SORRY MASTER! I'M SORRY FOR MY ACTIONS! FORGIVE ME! FORGIVE ME! NO! NO! NO!"

Pearl looked away from the incident. Diamond noticed this and grabbed Pearl by the head, forcing her to turn the direction of Zirconia.

"You will watch this!" Diamond hissed as he then nodded to the Agates. "Agates… Pedicabo!"

Zirconia screamed as the Agates lowered her on the spear. Her voice shrilled with agony as the blade pierced her, sinking deep into the flesh within her. The more Zirconia struggled, the deeper the blade sunk. Pearl and Diamond could see Greyish-blue blood trickle down the body of the spear and drip onto the ground below. Eventually, the Agates released her, and Diamond approached his servant, bleeding and crying, and tilted his head slightly.

"Who am I?" Diamond asked Zirconia.

"You are the M-m-master, the one I..I serve." She replied weakly, wincing at the pain within her.

"What is the reason you exist?" Diamond asked Zirconia.

"To…to serve you, without objection or quest-t-tion, until death." Zirconia mumbled weakly.

"Are you afraid to die?" Diamond asked as he clutched her throat.

"N-no…" Zirconia wimpered as she felt the burning inside her, "For I live to serve, and serve to live."

"Now you understand." Diamond said as he then lifted her off the spear and tossed her to the ground. He then picked up the spear and began walking to the temple.

"May this be a reminder for the next time you decide to object to my orders." Diamond proclaimed as he turned to Pearl and Zirconia, he then looked to the outskirts for a moment and nodded lightly.

"Et duces eos ad mecum."


Crystal Temple outskirts, present day


Lars, Sadie and Ronaldo could not believe their eyes at what they had seen. Sadie was just lowered her head in disbelief at seeing what the Master did to one of his servants and imagined herself in the situation. Lars had turned away from the others to vomit. While Ronaldo remained transfixed at the sight. Having recorded the whole event with his camera.

"Now you see it people of the world. The Diamond conspiracy is real, and what you have seen has shown you how brutal and merciless they are to their own. We cannot let these monster rule this planet! People of the world, hear my message!"

Before Sadie could tell Ronaldo to shut up, her attention was redirected to the five Agates that stood behind them. As Lars stood up from vomiting, he came face to face with an Agate before jumping back in fear. Ronaldo then pulled his revolver out and aimed it at the Agates.

"Alright you tin cans, back off before me and my buddies here kick your...uh cans!"

Sadie and Lars looked to Ronaldo with a look of disgust before arming themselves.


"Yeah, well terminate this!" Ronaldo shouted as he fired his revolver at the Agates, letting out a battle cry as he did so.

As Ronaldo ran out of bullets, he stopped firing. He along with Sadie and Lars, saw the Agates were unscathed by the attacks. The drones looked at each other as they processed the situation.


The other Agates looked to each other in agreement, as they directed their attention back to the trio, who they were able to capture with ease. Sadie tried to use her spear, but an Agate then grabbed it away from her while another wrapped its arms around her. Lars tried to charge towards Sadie, but an Agate rushed in and knocked him to the ground. It then grabbed him by his feet. Ronaldo then jumped up as the three Agates surrounded him. "Stop!" Ronaldo shouted to the Agate. "Release my friends right now, of face my full fisted fury!"

He started to flail his arms wildly, as if he was a ninja of sorts, this was followed by the cliché "come hither" motion.

"Who's first?" Ronaldo asked as he glared at his would be opponents.

The Agates responded to this by shooting him with their claws and electrocuting him until he was unconscious.


The Agates then departed, carrying the trio of teens along with them.


Beach City Containment Camp,City Hall, present day


It did not take long for the Agates to arrive at the camp. Within a few hours, the entirety of Beach City was already divided up into a makeshift work camp. Lars, Sadie and Ronaldo watched as the residents of the city were grouped up and moved around by the Agates as if they were cattle. A young refused to budge and started to cry as he was being pulled away from his mother. An Agate quickly responded to this by grabbing his neck and snapping it, tossing the boy aside as the mother ran out screaming, only for her to be grabbed and pulled away by several Agates. Sadie shut her eyes to avoid the sight, only to feel the Agate release her, causing the young girl to fall to the ground, as she lifted herself up, she heard the sound of Lars and Ronaldo grunted as they landed beside her. As she looked before her, she saw two pairs of boots walk up to her. As she looked up slowly, she turned pale at the sight before her. There, before the three humans, was the tall Gemian that was known by many as Master Diamond, the leader of the Crystal Gems. The Old King looked down and stared at Sadie. As she looked onto his piercing red eyes, a feeling of insignificance rushed through her body. As if, she was in the presence of God himself.

"So, you are the Humans that were spying on me?" Diamond asked as he stroked his beard. "I am impressed; I was not expecting your kind to be able to escape subjugation so efficiently."

An Agate handed the Gemian Sadie's weapons, her vials of fire salts, and the healing gel. Diamond raised an eyebrow as he looked to the three.

"Nor would I expect your kind to know how to use our tools." Diamond continued as he bent down to Lars. "Where did you get these?"

"None of your business, Gramps!" Lars shouted to Diamond. Just then, Lars was smacked in the side of the head by Zirconia, who appeared behind the young man. Two Agates lifted Lars off the ground and ripped his shirt open. Diamond then removed one of his gloves and his hand started to glow a bright blue.

"Such hostility." Diamond commented as he aimed his hand on Lars's chest. "Your kind once revered us as Gods. You built monuments to our glory, fought wars for our honor, and fought in our names. It was flattering and insulting, to shed blood over such pointless ideal. It is one of the reasons why I must intervene, to save you…from yourselves."

Diamond then planted his hand on Lars's chest. The teen screamed as steam began to emit from where Diamond planted his hand.

"STOP!" Sadie screamed at the Gemian, who looked to Sadie. "We got those supplies from Steven! He was a Crystal Gem, just like you!"

Diamond gritted his teeth as he removed his hand from Lars, leaving behind a large hand shaped burn on Lars's chest as the Agates dropped him to the ground. He then approached Sadie as he put his glove back on and grabbed her by the neck.

"That…thing was nothing like me!" Diamond hissed as he pulled Sadie closer to his face. "He was abomination, which was why he had to die."

Sadie eyes widened as she processed what Diamond had said. Tears began to run down her face as she looked into Diamond's eyes.

"You…you killed him?" Sadie whispered as Diamond released her, the girl dropped to her knees as she realized the truth. "You killed him and now you…are going to kill us."

"I knew it!" Ronaldo shouted as he pointed to Diamond, who gave him a puzzling look. "This is all part of your plan; those Gems were part of your sneople conspiracy!"

This sudden outburst drew the attention of Diamond and Zirconia, as well as the other Agates.

"…What?" Diamond asked in confusion as he looked do Zirconia, who shrugged. "What conspiracy? What is a "sneople"?"

Ronaldo leaped before the Gemian and pulled out his Camera towards Diamond.

"I know for a fact that you are the head behind the Diamond Conspiracy, and that you are planning to enslave the entire planet so you can hollow out the earth. I also know that you are in an alliance with the Sneople, who are people who look like snakes, and that is terrible!"

"…snake…people…?" Diamond looked to Lars and Sadie in true confusion as he looked back to Ronaldo.

"I…" Diamond said, only to be interrupted as Ronaldo placed his finger on Diamond's lips.

"Shhhh…there is no need to say more." Ronaldo said with a grin. He then backed away from Diamond while pointing it him. "Your presence and actions have said enough."

"Is he functional?" Diamond asked with a concerned look as Ronaldo began to dance around and sing a dramatic and off-key tune.

"I have been asking myself that same question for years." Sadie said, giving the same look to Ronaldo as he slid on the knees and ripped his shirt off, revealing a set of armor. Diamond and Sadie looked to each other before looking back to Ronaldo.

"Hold this for me would you?" Ronaldo asked an Agate as he tossed it his Camera. The Agate looked to the camera and then back at Ronaldo in confusion.

Ronaldo lifted his fists as he began to pump dramatically, preparing for a dramatic and epic fight between him and the Master Diamond.

"Should…should I do something Master?" Zirconia asked, stunned by the bizarre spectacle before her.

"Go back to the temple." He said as he stared at the dancing human before him with a transfixed look. "I will be with you shortly."

Zirconia nodded and then she lept away. As Diamond turned to the two Agates holding Lars and Sadie, he pointed to them.

"You two, take the humans to the camp. I will deal with them after I deal with this one." Diamond ordered.

The Agates nodded as they lifted Lars and Sadie into the air to take them back to the camp, but as they did. Ronaldo looked up and shouted at them

"Sadie…Lars…!" Ronaldo shouted as tears formed in his eyes. "…tell Peedee I love him…and…and tell him to watch my blog when I am gone."

"Ronaldo, stop it!" Sadie shouted as she tried to run to him, only for an Agate to hold her back. "He is a Crystal Gem you're no match for him."

"This is my destiny!" Renaldo shouted, thunder and rain started to fall from the sky. "I am willing to die to protect my planet and to expose the corruption of these monsters. Now Go, and keep Beach City Weird!"

Sadie looked to the unconscious Lars as she looked back to Ronaldo. She felt tears run down her face as she and Lars were carried away, leaving Ronaldo alone with the Gemian Master.

"She is right." Diamond said to Ronaldo. "If you do fight me, you will die. But then again, I cannot risk having you know my plans. So you must die here human."

"If I am going to die, then let it be on my terms!" Ronaldo shouted as he removed his armor, revealing his shirtless body. "No weapons, no powers, man to man! Or are you a chicken?"

"I am not an animal, I am a Gemian God." Diamond said as he dissipated his mace, irritated by the fact that he was constantly doing that. "But I understand your challenge and therefore, accept it."

Ronaldo watched as Diamond removed his upper robe, revealing a body covered with scars and burns. Several scars were patched up with metal and there was a marking of DI on his right pectoral. As he dropped the robe onto the wet ground, he politely bowed to Ronaldo before positioned his fists before himself.

"Now, as per Gemian combat ruling, I must allow the challenger to make the first move. You are allowed the first blow."

Ronaldo smiled as he started to dance oddly, making weird gestures and sounds while dancing around his opponent, as if he was in a game that involved fighting in a street.

"Stop that!" Diamond growled as Ronaldo's strange movements and sounds were starting to annoy him. "I do not know of you are distracting me or you are challenging me! Either way, you are done for human!" Diamond then charged at Ronaldo and swung at him.

"Ah ha! Just as I planed!" Ronaldo said as he ducked the attack and clocked Diamond in the face. "I know you're fighting style which will give me time to-"

As he threw another punch at Diamond, the Gemian simply caught it in his hand. A loud crunch could be heard as Ronaldo shouted in pain and pulled his hand away. Diamond looked down to the human before him he noticed a nearby barrel. Lifting the barrel up, he walked over to the kneeling human and smashed it over his head, causing Ronaldo to scream again as he grabbed his head in pain. As the human rolled on the ground crying, Diamond looked up with disappointment and confusion, looking around as if he was expecting a ambush or a form of distraction.

"Are you…are you actually fighting?" Diamond asked around. "Because I do not feel like this is a-"

"SHORYUKEN!" Ronaldo shouted as spun upward and decked him in the face. Diamond stumbled back and then charged at Ronaldo, tackling him into a wall. The Gemian then grabbed the human, bringing him up to his face. Ronaldo gasped as he looked at the Gemian's face, and saw that his jaw had split open and had strange feeding tongue. He hissed at Ronaldo before retracting and resetting his jaw.

"It has not even been a full hour and you have become quite the nuisance." Diamond said as he glared at Ronaldo. "It is a miracle that you have managed to even exist this long without being euthanized. However, despite you achievement, I will fix that mistake."

"Uh-huh…" Ronaldo said half-exhausted as he placed a hand on Diamond's shoulder. "I'm still standing am I?"

Diamond gave a look of irritation before Ronaldo smashed his head against Diamond's face. As Diamond backed away, covering his face with his hands, Ronaldo suddenly jumped up onto his feet.

"Ha! I have deceived you again!" Ronaldo shouted triumphantly. "Now for my ultimate attack!"

Ronaldo lifted his hands up to his head. Diamond then lowered his hands to gaze at the "warrior" before him.

"Psychic Ghost Powers Activate!" Ronaldo shouted to Diamond, followed by a chant of gibberish. Diamond quickly realized what was happening and quickly lunged forward and kicked the crazy human in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him as he fell to the floor with a thud.

"It is a shame." Diamond said as approached the human. "With your knowledge, you could have warned your planet instead of fighting me head on. Now, you will die and your planet will follow the same path."

"Ugh…jokes on you…" Ronaldo said with a smile. "I already uploaded my video."

Diamond turned to the remaining Agate that was holding the camera. As it opened the viewing screen, the words "Upload Complete" blinked in red letters. Diamond then looked back and lifted the crackpot off the ground by his neck.

"N-now the world will see the truth and will be able to stop you…" Ronaldo gasped as he grabbed Diamond's arm. "Your conspiracy is done for. I…I finally revealed your scheme once and for all."

Diamond then smashed the human into the ground, punching him several times before throwing him to another wall. Diamond then approached the wounded human and grabbed him once more, now determined end this.

"I must say, I am impressed by your determination and your intellect." Diamond said as he tightened his grip slightly causing Ronaldo to gasp and choke. "I would never suspect that a mere primate would be able to figure out our agenda so quickly, and then sacrifice his life to delay his planet's destruction. In fact, I find it touching. But there is one question I would like to ask before I deal with you…"

Diamond then pulled Ronaldo forward and glared at him. Ronaldo could see the red build in his eyes. He knew that at this moment, he was done for, but he smiled, knowing that humanity would know about Diamond and his conspiracy, and that they would have the time to stop it.

"…of all the knowledge you have about my "conspiracy" and the Gems, what did you preserve me as originally? A demon? A parasite?"

"…The… The Leviathan…" Ronaldo replied faintly. He saw Diamond's eyes widen in surprise. "Isaiah 27:1…"

"…Thank you." Diamond said as he glared at the Human before him. "Goodbye."

Diamond then split his jaw open and attached his tongue to Ronaldo's neck. The Human gasped as he felt the Vitae leave his body. As Diamond finished, he wrapped his tongue around Ronaldo's neck and…


Diamond released the body into his hands. As he stared into the eyes of the human before him. He felt a pang of guilt through his chest.

"I am sorry it resulted in this human." Diamond said as he closed Ronaldo's glazed eyes. "But you must understand that this is necessary for your Universe. I must sacrifice billions to save trillions. That is the price for order and peace."

He then placed him onto the ground as he pointed to the Agate with a camera.

"Bury him." Diamond commanded softly. "Then we begin phase two."


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