Ice Age: Humanized

Chapter 2: The Anger of Bikers

Chapter 2

Over at an abandoned restaurant, two bikers were sitting in chairs and staring at the salad on the table. They both wore stereotypical biker clothing, with the vests and helmets and everything. One had a grey handlebar mustache while the other had a black goatee. “I can’t believe it!” said the biker with the grey handlebar mustache. “Fresh wild greens… Frank, were did you ever?” Frank, the other biker with the black goatee, chuckled wildly. “Go ahead dig in.” he laughed. The biker with the handlebar mustache, Carl, spotted something on the salad that appealed to his eye. “A Dandelion!” he smiled. “I thought the frost wiped them all out!”

“All but one!” voiced Frank cheerfully. The two bikers were about to dig in to their salad, when Sid jumped on the table and started cleaning his feet with the salad. “Oh, this is so nasty, this is!” muttered Sid, cleaning the poop off his foot with the salad. The two bikers gasped as he used their salad to clean off his feet. “Oh, Yuck! This has definitely not been my day.” Sid jumped off the table and Grabbed onto Frank’s shoulder for support. “You know what I’m saying, buddy?” asked Sid, picking up a fork on the table and using it to scrape the brownish grayish gunk off his foot. Frank growled as he continued cleaning his foot.

“Oh, What a mess! Hey, did you know you bikers have real short attention spans, right? It’s a fact, no offense.” Sid stopped when his foot was cleaned and let go of Frank’s shoulder. “You probably don’t even know what I’m talking about.” He laughed. Frank growled at the statement he made. “Hey look!” Sid grabbed the Dandelion off a clean piece of salad. Frank gasped. “A Dandelion!” announced Sid. “Looks like one of the last ones of the season!” he popped the Dandelion in his mouth and chewed. “Mmm!” he swooned. Frank’s face burned with anger.

“Carl!” he growled. “Easy, Frank.” replied Carl. “He ruined our salad!” Frank growled. They both looked at Sid with death glares. Sid looked at the pile of leaves on the table and at the bikers. The bikers pulled out their weapons, Frank with a baseball bat, and Carl with a chain. “Oh, wait a minute- how was I supposed-” Sid backed away from the Bikers and tripped over a box. “Wait, what is this?” Sid opened the box, inside were Tortilla chips. “Tortilla Chips!” shouted Sid. “Oh my goodness, they’re my favorite!”

He grabbed a chip and bit into it. Stale! But that was a risk he was going to have to take. “Delicious!” announced Sid with a mouthful of Stale Tortilla. “That’s uh…” he tried swallowing, but it didn’t go down. He tried again, and it went down. “Good Eating!” he smiled.

“But don’t let me hog em all to myself!” he stuffed Tortilla chips into Carl’s mouth and moved his Jaw to make him chew it. “Here you have some! Tasty isn’t it?” Carl spat the stale chips out of his mouth and growled at Sid. “Bon Appétit-To!” he shouted before running off.

Carl and Frank ran to motorcycles and started them up. “Now?” asked Frank. Carl waited till Sid was far enough. “Now!” he shouted. He popped a wheelie on his motorcycle and charged forward. Sid screamed and ran with all he was worth. He ran towards the cliff and collided with a black pickup truck because he wasn’t looking where he was going. The owner of the pickup truck, the giant from earlier, came over and looked at him. “Hey!” he shouted. Sid got up and climbed in the back of the Pickup truck.

The giant turned around and saw the two bikers coming towards them. “Pretend I’m not here.” said Sid. “Let me hide in here. They’re after me!” The two bikers got off their bikes. “Great, he’s hiding in the back of that truck.” said Frank.

Sid peeked out from the back of the truck. Carl growled at him, which caused him to flatten himself in it. “That’s okay Frank; we’ll have some fun with him.” Carl and Frank walked forward, Frank tapping his baseball bat, and Carl swinging his chain.

“Don’t let them impale me!” shouted Sid. “Please, I want to live!” “Get out of my truck!” the giant grabbed Sid by the sweatshirt and removed him from the back of the truck. “Come on, you’re making a scene.” said Carl. “Sir, will take our human piñata, and go if you don’t mind.” said Frank.

The giant turned around to Sid, who was hiding behind his leg. “Hey buddy, it’s not them today, it’s somebody else tomorrow.” He pointed out. “I rather not be today, okay?” replied Sid.

“Look, we’ll break his neck, and he won’t feel a thing. How about that?” asked Carl.

The giant looked at Carl. “Wait a minute; I thought you bikers have a code of honor. You know, ‘don’t kill women, children, and older people?’”

Carl spat on the ground. “Who’s says that we have to follow those rules?”

“You know.” The giant cracked his knuckles. “I don’t like people that kill for pleasure.”

“Save it for a person that cares.” snorted Carl.

“I’m a person that cares.” shouted Sid.

Manny looked over at Sid, and then at the two bikers. “Okay, look. If you two can get through this sinkhole in front of you, you can have the kid.”

The bikers looked down at the sinkhole in front of them nervously; their bikes wouldn’t be able to get through that. Sid jumped out from the back of the pickup truck. “That’s right, you losers!” he shouted, grabbing a monkey wrench from the toolbox. “You take one step in there and your dead!” he threw it into the sinkhole to prove his point, but strangely, it didn’t sink. It wasn’t a sinkhole after all! Carl and Frank smiled sadistically at the wrench, and then at Sid.

“You were bluffing, huh?” asked Sid nervously.

“Yep, that was a bluff.” Replied the giant.

Sid took two steps back and then jumped in the back of the pickup truck. “GET HIM!” shouted the bikers. They jumped on their bikes and charged forward towards the giant. The giant stood his ground and caught the bikes as they race towards him. The bikers added more gas to their bikes and started pushing the giant over the edge. Sid looked over the right side of the pickup truck and saw how far the cliff was. He screamed loudly. The giant gritted his teeth and pushed the bikes back with all his might, then he picked the bikes up by their handlebars and sent them both flying, along with the riders.

“WOO-HOO!” cheered Sid, jumping out of the back. “AHHHH!!” he screamed again when he saw the two bikers coming forward on foot. Carl swung the chain over his head and threw it around the giant’s right arm like a Lasso. The giant gripped on the other end of the chain and whirled Carl around, sending him flying. Carl screamed as he flew through the air. Sid watched as Carl went flying, and winced at the sound of the crash. Frank charged forward with the baseball bat in his hands, ready to pound Sid into the ground like a tent peg.

“AHHHH!!” Sid screamed again as he saw Frank approaching. The giant came up from behind Frank, grabbed him by his vest, and sent him flying.

Carl lay on the ground, and spotted something. “A dandelion?” he asked. However, Frank landed on the dandelion, and on top of him.

“WA-HOO!” Sid cheered. “You did it!” he shouted, jumping into the giant’s arms. The giant, who didn’t expect Sid to do that, tripped backwards and fell against the truck for support. The truck gave way, and the giant fell along with Sid, screaming all the way, and the truck, which rolled over and down the cliff and into the forested area.


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