Ice Age: Humanized

Chapter 6: The Village and The Journey

Chapter 6

Manny and Sid, who was carrying the baby, walked up to the village and hid behind a tree. “What are you doing?” asked Manny. “Just put him out in the open.” Sid lightly tossed the baby out into the open. The baby started crawling towards the village.

“Shouldn’t we make sure they found it?” asked Sid. “Good Idea.” replied Manny. He grabbed Sid by his Sweatshirt. “No, NoNoWaitWaitWaitWaitWait!” Sid protested. Manny threw Sid, not so lightly, out in the open.

“Don’t Spear Me!” shouted Sid. He covered his eyes in fear, but then uncovered them after he heard nothing but quiet. “Oh, this is a problem.” Sid groaned.

“Now what?” asked Manny. He came out in the open and looked around. The village was abandoned and the buildings were torn to shreds, and the baby was crawling around in the ruins.

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Manny said sarcastically. He and Sid entered the ruins, looking around at the scattered remains of the village. Sid walked around, looking for the baby, and SMACK!! A makeshift garden hoe had nailed him right in the face.

Manny walked around, looking at all the scattered remains. He then saw the baby hugging his soft, warm, crib. Manny thought this was a little funny, but kind of sad. The baby stopped hugging his crib and fell back into a basket.

“I told you they were gone.” A familiar voice said. Manny turned around and saw the owner of the voice. Leaning on a wooden barrel, was Diego. “Don’t you have some poor and unsuspecting soul to mug and torture?” he asked.

“They couldn’t have gotten far.” said Sid, hunched down and looking around. “They could have gone this way… Or this way… or-”

“You don’t know much about tracking, do you?” Diego asked. Sid picked up a tree branch and broke it over his knee. “Hey, I’m just a humble kid.” replied Sid. “I see a tree, pull off a leaf. That’s how I track.”

“You didn’t miss them by much, however.” Diego picked up a piece of wooden shrapnel. He sniffed it. “It’s still fresh. They headed north about two hours ago.”

Sid sniffed the broken tree branch. “Hey, it’s still fresh.” He said, intimating Diego. “They headed north about two hours ago.” Diego growled at him.

The baby giggled, fell out of the basket, and landed on a stick that since a rotten fish flying into Manny’s face. “You don’t need this aggravation.” said Diego. Manny peeled the rotten fish off his face. “What are you getting at?” he asked suspiciously.

“Give me the baby.” replied Diego, dragging the baby over to him. “I can track the villagers a lot faster than you two can.”

Manny dragged the baby back to him. “And you’re just a good citizen trying to help out, right?”

“I just know where the villagers are going.” Diego dragged the baby back to him.

“Glacier Pass.” Manny replied, point off in the distance at two giant halves of ice. “Everyone knows there a village on the other side.” He pulled the baby away from Diego.

“Well, unless you know how to track.” inquired Diego. “You have to get there before the pass is covered in snow, which should be tomorrow.”

Manny looked up. A few snowflakes were falling. He hated to admit it, but Diego was right. “So, you can give the baby to me or get lost in the blizzard, your choice.” said Diego.

Manny looked at the baby. No way was he going to give the kid to this suspicious person. But they might need him to lead the way to the glacier pass. Manny sighed and picked up the kid. Diego reached forward to take the kid, but Manny handed him to Sid.

“Here’s your little bundle of joy. We’re returning him to the humans.” said Manny.

Sid smiled. “Aw, the big bad punky wunky gets left behind.” He said in a babyish voice. Diego looked at Sid in an annoyed look as he patted Diego on the shoulder like he was a dog. “Poor punky wunky.”

“Sid, Punky Wunky is gonna lead the way.” announced Manny. Sid looked at Diego, who was smiling a devilish grin. A worried look crossed his face. “Uh, Manny?” he stuttered, running over to Manny. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“No.” replied Manny. “And the sooner we get to the villagers, the sooner I can get rid of ‘Mr. Stinky Drool Face’… and the baby too.”

Sid winced. Diego walked over to Sid and stood behind him, leaning down so that his face was next to his. “You won’t always have jumbo to protect you.” He quietly growled. “And when that day comes, I suggest you watch your back, because I’ll be slicing it.”

“Hey, Uber Tracker!” shouted Manny. “Up and front where I can see you!” Diego stalked off and went to Manny, leaving Sid standing there, holding the baby. “Help me.” He whimpered.


The group of three and a half traveled through the lands in awkward silence for two hours, but pretty soon, the silence was filled with loud wailing. The baby was crying. Manny tried plugging his ears, but that didn’t work.

“You gotta make it stop!” he groaned. “I can’t take this anymore!”

“I’ve hunted things that didn’t complain this much!” snarled Diego, trying to drown out the crying of the baby.

Sid was carrying the baby upside down, its feet kicking him in the jaw. “It won’t stop squirming.” grunted Sid, trying to avoid the blows to the face.
“You’re holding it wrong!” yelled Diego.

“Watch it’s head!” shouted Manny.

“Just put it down!” commanded Diego.

“Jeez, pick him up, put him down, blahblahblahblah.” Sid placed the baby on a rock. The baby was still crying. “Its nose is dry!” inquired Diego. “That means something’s wrong with It.” replied Sid.

“Someone should lick it, just in case.” Diego suggested.

“I’ll do it!” piped up Sid. He grabbed the baby.

Manny snapped his fingers, he had a theory. “Hey, isn’t he wearing one of those baby things?”

“So?” asked Sid, sticking out his tongue.

“So if he poops, where does it go?” asked Manny. Diego stuck his tongue out in disgust. Sid quickly pulled his tongue back in his mouth. He held the baby away from his face. “That’s disgusting!” he groaned.

“Okay, you.” Manny pushed Sid on the arm. “Check for Poop!” “Hey wait a minute, why am I the poop checker?” asked Sid. Manny came face to face with him. “Because returning the runt was your idea, you’re small and insignificant, and because we’ll pummel you if you don’t.”

“Why else?” asked Sid quietly. “NOW SID!!!” shouted Manny. Sid backed up and screwing up his face, did the vile deed. “Eww! Yuck! Eww!” he groaned. He looked down. “Oh My Goodness!” he said.

He picked up the bundle. “Alright, Alright, coming through!” he said, carrying the bundle with the tip of his fingers. “Watch Out!” said Manny, backing up.

Sid ran over to Diego and swung it towards him. Diego ducked. “Stop waving that thing around!” he shouted. Sid fell back. “Oh no! I’m gonna slip!” he smiled secretly and threw the bundle in the air; it opened and landed on Manny’s face.

“AGGHH!” Manny roared in disgust. He pulled the open bundle, which actually was a clean piece of paper, and threw it to the ground. He rubbed his hands around his face, trying to clean off anything nasty on there.

“It’s Clean!” Sid picked the baby up, still crying. “Got ya!” he laughed. Manny whacked Sid over the head. “Will you cut that out!” he shouted, apparently not enjoying his little trick. The baby giggled a little bit, but when Sid fixed his face, he started wailing again.

Diego had an idea. “Hey, do that again, he likes it.” Manny whacked Sid over the head again, which caused the baby to giggle a little bit. “Hey, it’s making me feel better, too.”

The baby continued crying. “Here you hold it!” he said to Diego. Diego whacked Sid over the head, the baby giggled at Sid’s silly face. The baby tried smacking Sid in the face, although not hurtful, but very annoying. Sid grabbed the baby’s small arm, and pretty soon, the baby was crying again.

“Oh, not again!” groaned Manny. Diego thought about what to do, and then he had an idea. He saw a friend of his do this with his infant son. “I have an idea.” said Diego. “Turn him towards me!”

He covered his eyes with his hands. “Where’s the baby?” he said in a sing-song voice. “There he is!” he said, opening his eyes. The baby stopped crying for a minute. “Where’s the baby?” Diego said again. “THERE HE IS!” he roared. The baby began wailing, again. “Stop it! You’re scaring him!” Manny pushed Diego away. The baby continued wailing until the group heard a small rumbling sound.

Sid snapped his fingers. “I bet he’s hungry! Let’s get him something to eat!”

“How about some milk?” suggested Manny.

“Ooh, I love some!” replied Sid. Diego growled. “Not you, the baby.”

“Well I don’t lactate and you don’t lactate, pal!” he said spitefully.

Diego got in Sid’s face. “You’re a little young to be mouthing off to an adult, aren’t you?”

“ENOUGH!” shouted Manny. The noise of the baby crying and those two arguing was giving him a headache. The shout echoed for a few seconds. The group heard a loud thump and turned around. A watermelon was lying on the ground. “FOOD!” Diego and Sid yelled at the same time.

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