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Must Be Easy

By Michelle Espinoza

Romance / Drama

Prologue

Here I was locked in a single embrace of the lips, unable to feel the butterflies that I was accustomed to, but it was okay, this feeling was better. Way better though it could have been weird if you looked at the scene from the outside, because here I was being kissed by a man twice my age, with a ragged and heavy appearance. His blonde hair hidden away except at the edges of his beret, and a logo stamped on the bottom, I didn’t quite understand, still, I felt something for this man.  A pure longing, a pure satisfaction that I knew he would be my husband later on in my life, even if that sounded weird.  Okay, that sounded extremely weird, because I was only 22 and again, he was older and stronger despite his status. His status that shaped his vengeance, his missing arm and leg, and his reliance on his crutch, but he perfected it. He perfected the stance that he meant to have, but if his lot in this life did change, it would have to be now, with me. Though, this was the second time he’d kissed me out of nowhere, and out came the longing. My hands wanted to explore every inch of his imperfect body, clothed or not, and I didn’t know if I could control my rambling heart.

It must have been so easy for him to do this. He probably was a womanizer but did that change now and yet he treated me differently. He treated me with respect and didn’t see me as another conquest, but was it because we had destiny written in our stars? Or because he really cared? Was he crashing towards this fate we couldn’t avoid? Was he loving me for me?

“Kazuhira…”

“Mrs. Miller…”

That last name shuddered me down to the bone, and I couldn’t help the inflowing of swelling emotion, emotion of utter joy and contentment. Why he would dare utter that to me was beyond me, as he hated it passionately, or at least felt a sting of annoyance from it when he heard it in passing from the soldiers on deck. Yet, there was change right with us here in this moment, and I couldn’t stand it any longer. I wanted to tear him apart, break him down to feel closer to the remnants of his heart. He had one, and I had to search for it in his actions now. “Oh, Kazuhira. You don’t know, do you? Don’t you know how it hurts so much?”

Wrong choice of words stringed together, and I wondered why the wrong things rhymed perfectly while I stumbled over the right ones. I couldn’t breathlessly take it back but it could have been wrong, could have been incorrect again. What could I do to diffuse the situation? Lie through my teeth, feign ignorance? I could do any of those things and it would have been all right, and all right it should have been. He didn’t move, but the mood shifted though no words were passed through those sweet lips. Soon the world swirled and I found myself sobbing on the kitchen’s floor, clutching at any sanity I could find, all alone, because I had driven him away with my idiocy. My ignorance.

It must have been easy for him to love me, when I couldn’t love myself, not in these moments.

It must have been easy to lie again.

Still, I recalled the exact moment I had come, however blurry the memory became as new memories formed here on Mother Base, with him.

I was a simple girl, in a simple world, and from the future, yes; the future of the 2000s’, so how did I wind up in the 80s’ with a future husband of mine? How did he know of this? I told him. I evidently made all attempts to be close to him, and make everything safe and sound.

It couldn’t be easy with his past failures, and the past in general, his past, his upbringing, and his life now. How little I knew of him, and yet I wanted to be with him now and forever in a place of safety, but everything was in fire in his world. There was no lullabies for anyone of us, and yet with morning light, things had to be okay for he was there, and nothing could hurt us.

“KAZUHIRA!!”

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Michelle Shane Hammatt: Well written fiction. I couldn't put it down and read it until I was finished in one sitting. Can't wait to see what the author has in store for us next. The characters were real and you felt like you were watching the story being played before your eyes.

Alkira Joan: Great story, I found it hard to read especially the dialogue. You just need to fix up some spelling errors and the gramma .I enjoyed this book. was a little hard to get though.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.,, , , , ,.,, , , , , , , ,., , ,.,,,,,

annie08c: I really like this story, I can relate to it a lot and with how she feels, the boyfriend and the events that happened but I'm a little bit younger. It was really good plot, really liked how you stuck to the topic and you had a new title for every chapter making me guess what's going to happen. Ma...

softprose: Honestly, this book already has me on my toes, I can't wait to buy the physical copy! It is like a fresh breath of air when reading this. I've already fallen in love with all of the characters! This will be one of those books I'll read over and over again without getting bored of it.

Jacklyn Reynolds: As a mother of an Autistic child, I know how hard it can be. I love how beautiful you made everything. That's all I can say. I need to grab a tissue.

Mourn8220House: When first reading "Avarice," I thought it would be another fairytale but I was taken back the author's approach and choice of ending. There is little to be said for the story and overall plot besides the sudden twists and speculation, other than that I do not want to ruin a fantastic tale, you m...

CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...

Melodie Prins: firstly there better be a second book because I definitely would read that it an instant. This book was amazing and had me hooked by the first chapter I can't wait for a second one (fingers crossed). I feel in love with Scott instantly and found myself wanting to read more of his life and wanting...

KC_Ward: Black Mark was one of the most interesting romance novels I have read. I really enjoyed the fact that Mora has such a strong character and held her ground. Each character had a background story that gave clues as to what shaped their personalities. This novel was almost like two books rolled into...

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vanellesapp: It was so amazing to read this book each part was entertaining.It is that kind of love every body will like to have.I will have like the explanation on how they did it the first time to be more explicit but apart from that it is perfect

Kalyan Shobhana: There is not a moment in this book where you think...let me stop now. this book cast a spell that compels you to finish it. in the end...you just hope and pray that may it turn out to be a series and the author keeps writing more and more. Let's just say this books makes me want to be selfish ,so...

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