Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Walter slowly stirred in a hospital bed and moaned quietly, looking around. Peter glanced at his father with worrying eyes.
Ella ran over to his bed and hugged the confused mad scientist.
-Grandpa Walter! You are awake! Mommy and I came to visit you and Uncle Peter but you were asleep so we were waiting for you to open your eyes!
-Hello dear...-Walter replied kindly, caressing her hair absently. –Now who might you be?
-Grandpa Walter... You were at my birthday party last night, remember? You brought that funny cake that made us laugh!
-Oh, oh yes... My goodness... How could I've forgotten? I am so sorry, Emma.
-It's Ella!-she pouted her lips.
-Ella. Right-Walter swiftly corrected himself.
-How are you, Walter?-Peter inquired urgently. –Maybe I should've let you drive after all-he smiled. -Me crashing into that truck was what brought us here in the first place.
-Peter, what truck are you talking about, we were… He caught the look Peter shot him and stopped talking just in time. –The truck, of course. It was huge, and red… It must've been transporting tons of liquorice. And my son here, he didn't see a thing. He slammed right into it… And then I fainted, I really don't remember what happened after that…
-Are you in a lot of pain, Grandpa Walter?
-It'll pass, my dear.
-Look what Mommy and I brought you! It's called an Ipad and it's Mommy's but she will lend it to you while you are here at hospital. You can listen to all the songs that you like! With headphones!-Ella announced proudly.
-Oh… Thank you very much… Er…
-Rachel-Olivia's sister smiled and Peter shook his head exasperatedly.
Ella placed one headphone in Walter's ear and another one in hers… They both started searching for an interesting radio station, chattering in a friendly, carefree way.
Peter turned to Rachel and smiled.
-Pete, you look awful. How long are you going to be stuck in here?
-Um… I think the nurse said… Around three weeks, or a month even, if I heard her correctly.
-Yeah, especially for me, I'm a man of action. But there's nothing I can do about it now, is there? I would kill for a book!
-Well, since Ella will probably insist on coming here every week or at least every ten days, you could give us a list and we'd see what we could do…
-Anything by Sheldon Kopp would be great, actually. Ever read him?
-No, I've no idea who he is…
-He wrote my favorite book: If you meet Buddha on the road, kill him!; I still haven't had a chance to look upon: An End to Innocence, What Took You so Long and The Pickpocket and the Saint… So… Feel free to bring them when you come again.
-That first title sounds so… Wrong.
-Nah, you are just not into mystical psychological readings. Am I right?
-Absolutely. Normal girl over here, hello!
He beamed at her. It made perfect sense to him.
-Let me guess… You're probably reading a Jamie Oliver book?
-Now how did you know that?
-Well, you're a good Mum, and you probably want to treat Ella with the best meals she can have.
-That's right, Sherlock-she lowered her tone of voice. –Pete… Listen… Did we barge in at an inappropriate moment?
-Sort of. I'm not sure myself yet.
-Come on, Casanova, spill the beans… Your faces were inches away, for God's sake-Rachel whispered mischievously. –I felt like such cockblocker, Pete! It was obvious you were about to kiss her.
-Yeah… About that… I don't know what got into me… Normally I'm not so bold with her. I just… Sensed a strange vibration and…
-Well, hopefully you'll be able to pick up from where you left off… When I found Olivia in her room this morning, she looked like a zombie, I swear I freaked out. My guess is she hadn't slept all night. She was so worried about you, Peter.
Peter cursed inwardly once more. He hated the fact Olivia had suffered because of him. Maybe she would be better off without me in her life.
-Let's drop the subject for now. What's going on with you? Did you finally go to that long awaited lunch?-Peter winked at her, knowing that she'll start talking about it straight away, and hopefully forget about the scene she'd just witnessed.
-Oh, my, God! I did! Just today! We ate around noon, I was coming from there now, actually!
-And he is so cute, Pete! A real gentleman! He works as an architect and he lives alone at the moment. We have a lot in common. The man is as talkative as I am, maybe even more. He likes to cook, and to party all night long. I hadn't brought Ella with me yet, she was in a kindergarten, I wanted to find out more about him first but… I'm thrilled. And he's so freaking hot! Totally my kind of guy! Not too tall, tanned, dark hair, dark eyes… I always had a thing for dark-haired men, maybe because I'm blonde, I don't know… Greg is like that himself-she bit her tongue nervously when she'd realized what she just said.
-It's OK-Peter stated calmly. –You're not comparing. That's just your type of guy. I, for one, always had a thing for blondes-Peter charmingly smiled at her lopsidedly.
-Sorry, mister, I'm taken-Rachel joked with him and they both burst out laughing.
-And from what I know about Greg, he is a quiet, serious businessman who likes his meals hot and his woman quiet. So… It's obvious how you didn't get along. This new guy seems to be a much better match for you.
-I know, right?-Rachel giggled like a school girl. –So we're gonna see each other again tonight. Oh, God, I'm so excited. Gotta go and buy some new underwear-she continued to whisper. –I think I'm gonna go with red. That'll drive him crazy! I'm just gonna straddle him and…. Mmmm….
-Rach… Ok… Come on. Too much information-Peter smirked knowingly.
-I'm sorry Pete! You are so kind and talkative, just like me, I sometimes forget you're a guy. You really have a way with women… We just open up to you almost as soon as we meet you.
-Well, that's because I'm mama's boy. Statistics say that men who have grown up with their mothers or their sisters show emotions more and are generally more sympathetic… Actually, Olivia herself, who is normally so buttoned up, confided in me, and we'd known each other only for one month back then…. She told me everything about your stepfather.
Rachel's face wrinkled unpleasantly.
-I really don't want to talk about that son of a bitch. Let's go back to the more enjoyable topic: my neighbor! I'm finally gonna get some!
-You go, girl-Peter replied, amused.
-God, Pete, I missed sex so much. Greg hadn't approached me since Ella was two… I can't believe it's been three years already.
Peter cleared his throat. He was a bit embarrassed and not quite in a mood to continue talking about this subject in particular, but… Rachel seemed to wish to unburden herself so he proceeded cautiously.
-Um… You could've found someone just for that, you know…
-No-she replied firmly. –I might seem whacko and all, but I don't do casual sex.
She recognized the curious look in his eyes and added, smiling crookedly:
-Olivia doesn't, either. She hadn't been getting it on with anyone since her boyfriend died.
Yeah. She's been getting some with her boyfriend's conscience in her mind lately. Post mortem sex and dream kisses. Sounded like fun-Peter thought jealously but, of course, said nothing. John Scott's memories were finally out of Olivia's head and he didn't want to think about him.
- How about you, Mr. Walking Wet Dream? And… let me see… A Dime, Hunk, Hottie, Stud Muffin…
-Why are you calling me like that?
-It's not me, it's the nurses…. I overheard them talking about you in the hallway…
-Well, I'm known to leave an impression-Peter was pleased. –The redheaded nurse was really gentle to me today. I was wondering what was up with that.
-Apparently, according to her, you are a dream come true. And she'd only seen you covered in bruises and bandages… Imagine what she'll think about you when you recover and when she gets to unwrap your goodness. She'll probably hit you with something herself in order to prevent you from checking out of the hospital-Rachel giggled.
-She looks nice…-Peter replied vaguely.
-But you don't do casual sex?
-Actually, the answer to your question is no. I do casual sex. I always have. That's probably the only kind of sex I've ever done. No strings attached. And a lot of pleasure involved. My kind of thing.
-Wait a second…. After what you've just told me, you scoundrel, I'm not sure I want you to be my brother-in-law anymore…-Rachel said playfully, but her eyes were slightly sterner than a moment ago.
-You didn't let me finish. I didn't get some since Olivia kidnapped me from Iraq. Nine long months… For a guy like me, that's long overdue. And it's not like I didn't have a chance.
-Aww…-Rachel made a noise as if Peter were some kind of cute, cuddly puppy. –That's so sweet. You want to do it with her… And that's why you are waiting. Not many guys would do that.
-It's really rather disturbing and distracting, more than anything. You've no idea… And no, not many guys would do it. Heck, not even me! Not before I met her…-he finished, mumbling quietly and weakly, in frustration.
-Peter Bishop, I see that you are a changed man-Rachel said mockingly and solemnly at the same time. –Oh well… It's a good thing Olive's bed is firm… When you two get your hands on each other, you'll need something strong below you. Just don't bring the house down…-her eyes twinkled.
-I don't think that's gonna happen any time soon.
-I am leaving, Rachel. As soon as I recover. I haven't told Walter yet-he added in a low tone of voice but it wasn't necessary, since Walter and Ella were singing loudly in another corner of the room, listening to "Old McDonald had a farm!" on Rachel's Ipad.
-What?-Rachel exclaimed angrily and Ella looked at her mother, slightly afraid. –It's okay, sweetie, Mommy is talking to Uncle Peter, you just play with Grandpa Walter some more and then we'll go home soon.
She turned to Peter with a furious expression on her face.
-You are not seriously thinking of leaving Olivia.
-Leaving Olivia?-Peter raised his hands impotently. –She was never mine to begin with. We're just work partners.
-Yes, she was-Rachel replied firmly. –She is. And you know that. The bond that you two share… The way you are around her and the way she is with you. You might bicker every now and then but it's obvious you'd give your life for each other.
You have no idea-Peter thought. That's why I am leaving in a first place. So that she wouldn't have to give her life for me. My sweet Livia.
-Why have you made this decision so abruptly? Is it because you think she doesn't like you in the same way you like her? You think that you'll never be together so you've decided to distance yourself from Olivia, to forget her? Trust me, Peter… You are so close. If you still want us to perform the plan we were talking about… She wouldn't need much. Just a gentle nudge. Her pride would be wounded and she would realize how much she cares about you. She would be yours for the taking.
-I am not sure I want to force her to go through something like that. She's had enough on her mind lately.
-One phone call. And then you'll tell me how she behaves at work afterwards. That's all it'll take, I promise-she grinned impishly.
-It's not just that we are not in love relationship, Rachel. Things are more complicated that you think-he lowered his head, decidedly refusing to say more.
-Peter-Rachel made him look her in the eye. –If there's some kind of problem… If something happened on the job… You can't run because of that. Those things will always be there. Your life will be on the line… Her life will be in danger… But… You'll always have each other, you'll always look after each other. Everything is going to be fine. Don't be a coward.
-I don't know what to do anymore-he sighed, holding his head in his hands.
Rachel didn't know what had transpired but she was quite intuitive. She understood Peter wanted to leave in order to shield Olivia from some kind of danger but she knew that it would ultimately do Olivia a disservice.
-Without you… She would crumble into pieces. And believe me, I know. I am her sister. Don't run away, Pete. Or at least promise me you'll think about staying.
-Fine. I'll weigh all of my options.
-I have to go now. I'll try to come with Ella again in a week or so. I'll bring you those books you were looking for. And Peter… Please, don't be stupid. You are exactly where you need to be.
With those final words, Rachel went out through the door, carrying now sleeping Ella in her arms and Peter was left in a room with his father. He gulped several times, knowing that the conversation they were about to lead was going to be hard on both of them.
-How are you, my son?-Walter asked calmly.
-You really do look like you slammed in a truck full of liquorice, full speed.
-Thank you for that assessment, Walter-he smiled cautiously in old man's direction. Walter wasn't reprimanding him and he was surprised.
-Walter…-he was looking at the floor. –You don't know how sorry I am. For putting you in danger, for jeopardizing your life like that.
-I am not sorry for that, Peter.
Peter jerked his head upwards, surprised.
-I am sorry because you lied to me. Nine months ago… When you just arrived in Boston… There was a suspicious man in the diner. You threatened him, and then you said to me you did it because he was harassing the waitress. I guess you didn't tell me the truth.
-No. I didn't-Peter looked uncomfortable. –Mostly because…
-Because you thought your poor mentally unstable father couldn't handle it?
-Something like that-Peter muttered, ashamed. Walter was looking far more composed than he'd given him credit for.
-Son, I just want you to be honest with me. Is there anything else I should know about?
-Yes. Yes, there is.
-Do you remember Tess Amaral?
-Tess? Now where did I hear that name… Oh, of course, Peter! She was one of the girls from your class! Blond hair, blue eyes… Very cute little thing, too… She was the one with whom you used to stay the longest under the dining room table at your birthday parties… Other girls were jealous of her… If I am not mistaken, you lost your virginity with her.
-Walter…-Peter tried to stop him, flushed, but Walter had received a flow of memories and he couldn't stop talking, proud that he actually remembered something from the past.
-And I was so proud of you on that day, Peter! My son had become a man. You were only fifteen years old, three years younger than I was when I lost my virginity with my chemistry teacher at high school. Those were the days… Now, where was I? Oh yes, you were only fifteen, and you already knew what to do… Of course, you had me, and your play friend Melissa that I had designed for my only son-Walter winked. –While other parents were giving their children the stupid birds and bees talk, I actually taught you female anatomy! Do you remember Melissa, Peter?
-I do remember Melissa, Walter. Probably because, when I was in my bedroom with Tess, having sex for the first time in my life, you were standing right in front of the door and yelling approvingly: "Remember how we did it with Melissa, Peter!"
-And you've performed very well, as I recall, since after that day… The girl practically lived in our house. And let me tell you, Peter, your mother was very worried about you back then… Once you spent three entire days with her in your bedroom… We had to leave you food on a tray in front of the door and I would turn the television on maximum in the living room downstairs so that your mother and I wouldn't have to listen to your primal screams…
-Alright, Walter, that's enough.
-And you were heartbroken when she left you five months later because of that problematic rich boy, what was his name… Michael Kelly… Yes, that's how he was called… She bewitched you with her feminine viles and left…
-I'm glad you brought that name up, Walter. Because he is "something you should know about". Tess and I have been in an on and off sort of relationship ever since that day you mentioned. We stayed friends… Soon after the events you were so picturesquely describing, you were institutionalized, so you don't know that. But let me fill you in on details. Tess would spend some time with me, and then come back to Michael… And she would behave like that repeatedly. I was secretly hoping she would decide to stay only with me but that never happened. In the end, she admitted she started seeing me as nothing more as a friend, as a shoulder to cry on. But she was fond of me. So three months ago, I met with Tess in a diner. She is still with Michael. And I found out he was abusing her, like always. She had those awful bruises on her wrist… Something clicked inside my head and I knew the bastard had to pay for what he'd done to her. I waited for him in the car, in front of their apartment and I beat him up… He has connections all over Boston. He might be coming for me as well.
-I see-Walter glared at him disapprovingly. –You've made quite a name for yourself in Iraq and in Boston as well. However, my boy, let me tell you that you did a good thing… What kind of a man beats a helpless girl? You did well, Peter, you defended her.
-Yes, Walter, but he might want a revenge now. I haven't seen him since, but, who knows. And after what happened last night with Big Eddie… What he did to you, how he treated Olivia… I don't want to endanger your lives anymore…
-What are you saying?
-I have to leave, Walter. I know it now. This is the only way Olivia and you are going to be safe. They mustn't realize how much both of you mean to me, because then they would torture you, use you as a leverage in our negotiations, or…-he paused a little. –They might kill you.
-Peter…-Walter started to sob in earnest.
-Hey… Hey… Walter…-Peter hated the fact he couldn't get up from the bed and hug his father. –It really is for the best. I would be far away from you but at least you two would be alive.
-That's not a solution at all, Peter… We would die of grief… Not knowing where you are… How are you… Are you eating well… You've gotten used to my morning crepes by now… You will lose weight out there alone, eat unhealthily, live only on those cheeseburgers and cheesesteaks! I will have none of that, do you hear me, Peter! I just got my son back, dammit, and I am not going to lose you again.
-Walter… That's exactly what I am thinking about as well. I am not going to lose you again. And this time, if they killed you… I would lose you forever. Try to understand the things from my point of view. Everyone I cared about abandoned my life at some point in time, one way or the other. Mom died… You were in a mental hospital. Tess dumped me. I was out there on my own. And when Olivia brought me here… In spite of the way I felt in the beginning… I managed to connect with you again, after so many years. And with Olivia. You, Olivia and Astrid… You are like a family to me. I have a home now. And I don't want to see it wrecked. If… If any of you died…. I don't know what I would do. How I would survive that life blow.
-You are selfish, Peter… You think only of yourself… I thought you had changed but now I see I am mistaken…
-How exactly am I selfish, Walter? I want to protect you!
-No… You want to protect yourself. You are afraid of what would happen to your psyche if we were to be killed… You are a bloody coward… And I did not raise you like that, son…
Funny. Rachel said exactly the same thing.
-Don't be a coward, Peter… What we should do is stick together… Not disband… Have you ever considered we would be far more vulnerable if you tore us apart? When we are together, we are the strongest, we work as one, and no opponent can defeat us! If you left… Olivia would perform poorly on her duty, I wouldn't be as focused, Angelus would constantly start losing her patience with me in the lab…We wouldn't be able to do our jobs properly anymore… Maybe I would be confined to the mental institution again.
-Don't say that, Walter. I would never let that happen.
-Just… Promise me you'll think about staying, son. And I am not saying that just because of the emotional reasons I have. It would also be the most prudent course of action, trust me.
-Now let's get some sleep, Peter… We should both be resting, and look at us, chattering away…-Walter started snoring lightly almost immediately after having said those words.
Peter smiled and closed his eyes. It was true, he felt unbelievably tired. Every muscle in his body ached unpleasantly. Were Walter and Rachel right, though? Could that be the solution to their problems? Stay in the group… And fight the bad guys together…
Olivia's face floated in front of his eyes as he was falling fast asleep, milky pale, sweet and concerned.
You belong with us. Peter imagined how her soft lips would taste on his… Their first kiss… It would have to be gentle and perfect, passionate and delicate at the same time. In it, he would express how much he really loved her. Will I ever get another chance to kiss her, to show her how I truly feel? Or it would be better to sneak out of the hospital three weeks from now, just… Without telling her or Walter a thing… I hate saying goodbye. Even if I had to say it to you, sweetheart. Especially to you.
Ever since last night, Peter was in awe of Olivia. Her strength, her resoluteness, her power… The way she put her life on the line for him. He admired her. Olivia was so tough and so fragile at the same time… And Peter wanted nothing else but to cradle her in his arms and give her his affection, his unconditional support. To save her from any harm that might befall her… And yet, ironically, he was precisely the one bringing that harm upon her.
Olivia was sitting alone in her bedroom, trying to sort out her clothes…. Her mind was racing and she couldn't focus on a task at hand. Rachel and Ella hadn't come home yet and she idly wondered was it possible they had spent an entire afternoon in the hospital.
If he were to form a relationship with Rachel… And it seems that everything is going in that direction… That would be a good thing, right? He would have to remain in Boston. He would stay here to be with Rach and Ella. They would be happy. And I would see him every day…
That just came out all wrong, she thought, trembling on her bed… And why was the stupid neighbor from the ground floor playing that song so loud?
When lights go down, I see no reason…For you to cry. We've been through this before… In every time, in every season…God knows I've tried… So please don't ask for more… Can't you see it in my eyes… This might be our last goodbye… Carrie, Carrie, things they change, my friend… Carrie, Carrie, maybe we'll meet again… somewhere…again.
She lay on the bed, her lips slightly parted as she thought of Peter, for a hundredth time that day… That song fit the situation perfectly.
She was grateful there were no new cases…. Olivia had finished her report earlier that day. Broyles hadn't called yet, luckily, but he probably would call her soon, asking her just who the hell she thought she was, running off like that alone and putting an entire rescue mission at risk… Olivia knew she would have to endure his reproof.
Peter… Oh, Peter, I have to get you out of my mind… Why is this happening to me? Why couldn't you be like Charlie to me? Like good old Charlie… No attraction whatsoever. No reaction. Just sincere friendship and partnership.
What had transpired today? What was he going to do? Was he going to kiss me?-Olivia wondered.
She remembered how his stubble playfully scratched her cheek as they were dancing… And how those dark blue eyes were pinning her to one place, not letting go, not even for a second, while his arms kept her impossibly close to his chest.
And the way he took her head in his hands that afternoon… How he leaned forward, bringing her closer to him…
His probing tongue and his teeth were harassing her lower lip, stubbornly asking for permission to enter her mouth and Olivia granted it quickly and willingly because she couldn't resist him any longer… His hands pulled her on top of him ever so gently and she was careful not to lay a hand on any of his cuts and bruises… Olivia's fingers traced the line of his chest, caressing his torso timidly, but determinedly, feeling his muscles twitch under her touch… And then Peter sat upright in his hospital bed, impatiently unbuttoning her shirt and dipping his head urgently between her breasts, inhaling her scent and sighing contentedly… As he began to lap at her right nipple, teasing her left one between his thumb and forefinger, Olivia felt the heat increase between her legs and her hands daringly traveled even lower, beneath Peter's waist…
Olivia's eyes flew open. She slapped herself hard once, shook her head incredulously and practically ran into the bathroom. Cold water made her jump, startled, but at the same time it numbed all her senses, helping her to think clearer… Olivia sighed with relief, hoping that the overwhelming desire would soon disappear…
However, cold jet of water did nothing for the pulsating pink button between her legs, which kept asking for her instantaneous attention… It was the only place on her body that remained disturbingly hot and throbbing with desire even after several minutes have passes… And Olivia couldn't ignore that call anymore, couldn't run away from the demands of her starved body. She turned on the hot water and let her hand wander between her legs, starting to massage her swollen bud with her thumb. The tension she had been feeling while lying on the bed disappeared… Olivia could feel the lovely tingerling sensations she hadn't experienced for so long… She had made herself all wet and creamy and her clitoris was becoming harder and harder as she playfully stroked across it. Then Olivia started soaping her entire body, paying particular attention to her love button. She craved for an immediate release…
After having rinsed her body thoroughly, her left hand reached for her taut nipples and started to pinch them gently, first one, then another… Her right hand wandered off again… And she thought of Peter Bishop's handsome, mischievous smile, of his skilled hands and his penetrating blue gaze…She put her back against the cold bathroom wall, unable to stand on her own any longer, because she was trembling from the pleasure that she was giving to herself.
Olivia then turned to take the shower head. Once in her hand, she pointed the face of the head at her clitoris and jumped at the heat of the water. The water became tolerable with an adjustment of the water lever and she soon gave a throaty growl of pleasure as her hardening pearl was assaulted with the pressure of a rhythmic beat.
Her legs opened wider to receive more beating drops against her private parts, her back resting once more against cool tiles. The water was falling in a small circle and Olivia spread her thighs and let the falling torrent patter onto her. The merciless droplets lapped her clit, pounding and tormenting, and she imagined Peter kneeling in front of her, sucking and nibbling on her. Olivia whispered Peter's name, over and over, as she kept her eyes shut so the reality of what she saw couldn't intrude. Her whole body shook for the one last time and little cries escaped her lips as she came hard, shivering... "Oh Peter… Oh God… Yes! Yes!" were the last words she uttered uncontrollably, before collapsing on the floor, repeating to herself out loud: "You are a fool, Olivia Dunham".
This bathroom visit was apparently so much different than the one she had last night…And yet it was not different at all. The result remained the same… As the initial orgasmic, blissful shock that rocked her foundations was slowly fading away, she managed to get on her trembling feet and she bitterly wept in earnest, wrapped in a huge olive green towel, alone in her apartment and safely secluded from everyone's questioning eyes; her emotional release was as strong as her physical one had been just moments ago.
After everything I did to save you… You still are slipping away. To another town… Or… To another woman's arms… Even if she is Rachel. Even if she is my own sister… God, Peter, it's not fair… I never wanted to start feeling all this… I just don't wish to get hurt again… I have to find the way to stop thinking about you in this way…
She emerged out of that bathroom ten times stronger than she was before she entered in there… If something could be said about Olivia Dunham, it was this: after a complete, irrevocable defeat that might have brought her down on her knees, she would always try to rise as a phoenix from the ashes, and start fresh, anew.
Olivia stared hard in her own eyes in front of the mirror. She tied her hair in a stern, business-like ponytail, not letting it to flow freely around her shoulders. Somehow, she felt that such hairdo would also bind her own thoughts in one place, focusing them, not allowing them to run around and scatter God knows where, to all sorts of unwanted places.
Let us just stop for the moment and analyze the situation. What exactly is the problem here, Olivia Dunham? And what is the solution?-She asked herself methodically, expecting a rational answer from her mind, waiting for a solution to the currently laid equation of her life.
The problem-It is obvious. I need sex. And it IS the only problem. All other "difficulties" that might have presented to me recently derive from that common problem.
The solution-Find someone to have sex with. Regular sexual intercourse… Preferably someone you are comfortable with as a person. In this way, your bodily cravings will be satisfied and you will not… I repeat, you will not fantasize about your coworkers any longer.
And if Peter wanted to leave… Or be with her sister… Let him. What was it to her? They didn't even know each other for that long, Olivia consoled herself. It was only nine months. Nine months. After another nine months pass, it would be almost as if he had never existed, as if the bond they shared had never formed. There would be new people in her life, new friends…
If Peter didn't care about her enough to stay by her side, if he could abandon everything he, Olivia and Walter had built here in Fringe division over the course of time… And if he could shamelessly do it right after she almost died, after she almost got raped only to save his sorry ungrateful ass…
Then he wasn't worth her time and her thoughts. It was even better that he was departing. Her life would return into a typical, daily routine she knew and loved, routine that made her feel safe. She would distance herself from him once and for all. Let Rachel and Ella run to his bedside showering him with fruit and cooing worriedly. She did her part of the job. She rescued her colleague. What he decided to do with his life after it was saved… That… Was no longer her business.
Glancing one more time at her somewhat shuddering figure in the mirror, Olivia Dunham resolutely pulled out her cell phone from her pocket and dialed Lucas Vogel's number in Frankfurt.