Tiny Humans In The Trash Can
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, but I do own Sophie :)
We all know that Willow had Tara's best interests at heart when she had thrown her soulmate out of the vacuum's path, but what our favourite flame-haired wicca had failed to take into account was the fact that, tiny or not, she was still a mega powerful witch. She had underestimated how far she would be able to throw Tara, and how much force she would be able to throw her with. So, the blonde wicca had sailed straight into the kitchen, unnoticed by Andrew or Buffy, who was sweeping up crumbs, and was knocked unconscious as her head slammed into the side of the bench, before falling to the floor.
"Tara!" Willow yelled, unaware of her fiance's current state. "Tara, where are you?" By now, Willow's worry had skyrocketed, as she had not yet found any sign of the woman she loved. But then, reaching the thresh hold of the kitchen, she spotted Tara's limp form and sped towards her, dropping to her knees by her lover's side. "Tara! Oh goddess, what have I done? Wake up baby, speak to me, come on!" Willow pulled her fiance' into her lap and began gently shaking her. Unfortunately, becoming distracted by her lover's welfare, Willow failed to notice that she had placed herself directly in the path of Buffy's broom. By the time she did notice, it was too late to save herself and Tara from being swept into the shovel with all the crumbs and lint that had been swept up before them. "Stop!" Willow shouted feebly, knowing her friend wouldn't hear any more than a high-pitched squeak. "Buffy, stop!"
"I'm hearing that weird squeaky noise again" said Buffy, turning to Andrew. "Are you sure you can't hear anything?" Andrew tilted his head, listening for a second, before shaking his head.
"I'm sure. Are you feeling okay?" He moved to place a hand on Buffy's forehead, but she stopped him.
"I'm fine, just a little wigged out. It kinda feels like that time when you, Jonathan, and Warren" there was a note of bitterness in the slayer's voice as she said the last name, "kept fast-forwarding time on me, and I was the only one who noticed."
"Oh, me and Jonathan didn't really have anything to do with that one" Andrew explained. "That was Warren's deal. But I made the demon attack you at the construction site, and Jonathan stuck you in that time loop at the Magic Box, because we were holding this competition to.." the Watcher-in-training caught sight of Buffy glaring at him, and quickly shut up. After a few more seconds of glaring, Buffy sighed.
"Forget it, Andrew. The demon at the construction site was the least annoying thing that happened to me during that whole fiasco. Besides, I've forgiven worse, just look at me and Faith. This shovel's pretty full, I'm gonna go out and empty it." Buffy heard another squeak, but tried to ignore it. She carried the shovel outside, stopping along the way to smile at the image of Faith crouching at Sophie's eye-level, listening intently to a discussion on a subject that the little girl obviously considered important. Buffy then dumped the contents of the shovel into the trash can outside, trying to ignore yet another high-pitched squeak. This one almost sounded like a scream.
The squeaks, of course, were Willow's desperate cries for help. She had tried to grab onto the edge of the shovel when Buffy tipped it, but this had been close to impossible due to the fact that she was still clutching the unconscious Tara, so both wiccas had been sent tumbling into the trash. Just as Willow had begun to seriously panic about what the hell she was going to do now, Tara stirred.
"Willow... vacuum.." she mumbled, before sitting bolt upright. "Willow!" She calmed down slightly when she registered her unharmed lover's arms around her. "Thank the goddess you're alright! But how? What happened?"
"I'm so sorry baby!" Willow cried, hugging Tara tighter and kissing her forehead. "I threw you out of the way and then Sophie turned the vacuum off because I think she sensed me so I ran off to find you but you must have hit your head because you were unconscious and then Buffy swept us up and now we're in the trash and it's starting to get dark and.." Tara cut her off with a kiss.
"Willow, stop panicking. It always works out in the end, right? We'll find a way out of this."
That way came just half an hour later, after the sun had sunk below the horizon. A car pulled into the drive way, and one figure climbed out of it, finding herself inexplicably drawn to some sort of power in the trash can, cocking her head at the sight of the two tiny humans who began jumping up and down, waving at her.
"What ya starin' at Blue?" said a voice as two more figures climbed climbed out of the car. The first figure, the god-king Illyria, turned to the other figures, the two ensouled vampires, Spike and Angel.
"There are two tiny humans jumping in the trash can" said Illyria.
"What? Let me see!" said Spike, as he and Angel ran closer, spotting the frantic itsy-bitsy witches. Spike reached into the trash can, scooping them into his palm. "Willow, Tara! What the bloody hell happened to you two?" As the tiny wiccas tried to explain their situation using sign language and high-pitched squeaking, Illyria interrupted.
"I was not aware that humans came in this size" she said, staring curiously at Willow and Tara. "Can you keep them as pets?"