The second chapter is here. I hope I did it good and you'll like it. Also I forgot to write this last time but this is kind of a sequel to 'Shattered Souls' so if you're a new reader you may get confused later on even though I tried to brush up on everything as much as I could in the first chapter. So anyway read that if you haven't thanks. But for now here you go, hope you like it.
I hate this. Every day I spend in here is hell. I need my hit. I need something right now. I can't do this. I can t stop and I can't. I just can't.
My mind was a mess as I kept shaking on the bed. My bed for the past week and for who knows how long more. A week without anything was killing me though. I can't even get up anymore. I need it so bad. I can't even breathe anymore. I need my hit. I can't do this. I can't stop I can't. It hurts too much. So so much. I haven't slept in so long and I need my damn hit.
I wanted to scream and trash and throw everything around me in frustration but all I can do is shake because I can't do that. I need to stop. I knew that. I know I need to stop. I need to stop for my siblings and Magnus. I need to stop for myself. I know that. But it's too much. It hurts too much to stop. I can't.
Yanking at my hair and biting at my lip I made myself sit still. I need to stop this. Stop myself. I need to keep trying so I can show them I'm not as much of a failure they think I am. I need to show everyone that I'm worth it because maybe then I will finally believe it too.
"Alec?" A familiar voice cut through my thoughts and I looked up to see gold and green eyes that were the only thing keeping me sane most days here. I could see it everything in his eyes when I looked. The pity but somehow also fondness. It was a shock to see fondness in those eyes directed to me. Especially after knowing how much of a mess I look at the moment. Pale, wide eyed and skinnier then I ever was because I can't keep anything down anymore so I just stopped trying. I looked even worse than I did when we first met and I knew it. So seeing fondness in those eyes wasn't something I expected.
"Magnus. How did you get here? I thought I wasn't allowed visitors." I asked, voice scratchy and shaky from the fact that I haven't been using it in a few days. There is no point. No point in anything. My parents made sure of that. Their last surprise present to me was the fact that I was submitted into rehab where no one can visit me so it was even worse then I could ever imagine. I was left completely alone in this. So why is Magnus here then? How?
"Persistence darling. A lot of persistence." Magnus said, closing the door behind him before walking up to me and sitting on the edge of the bed. "I wanted to make sure you're okay." He cherished my cheek and I couldn't help but lean into the touch. It felt nice. "Plus they decided it would maybe be a good idea for me to come here since you're not eating anything."
"I can't." I said, hoping he will understand that not eating wasn't on purpose. "I can't eat anything. I can't keep it down."
Magnus sighed at hearing that but only mumbled an 'I thought so'. Not saying a word to me as he reached for the plate of food that has been next to my bed since this morning. Untouched.
"I can help." He said suddenly, placing the plate in his lap. The words were not something I expected but they still made me look up. How can he help? Before I could even ask the question I got an answer with him reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pill. A small pill that became the center of my world the second my eyes zeroed out on it. I need it. "It's nothing strong but it may still help. And you only get the one." He said and made me look at him again with the hand that was still on my cheek. I did so somewhat reluctantly. "I will give you one more next time I come and I'll try to do so soon. I still need you to get better but I'll try to make it easier for you because I saw how much getting clean can mess with people. So we will take this slow okay? Slow."
I nodded and he bended down to leave a kiss on my lips. It was only a brush of lips and it didn't last long but I still found myself trailing after when he pulled away. Magnus just smiled and brought the pill to my lips. "Open up now."
I took the pill almost greedily and it didn't take long for the affects to take effect and I felt relaxed for the first time in so long. After being left dry for so long even this little felt like heaven. By the time the pill took effect I was already half through the coup that was still on Magnus's lap because he decided to leave nothing to chance and feed me myself.
If it was anyone else I would have protested. Wouldn't want to be seen as so weak and helpless. But this is Magnus. Magnus who has seen me at my worst and still stayed. Magnus who said he loves me and smuggled drugs for me into rehab. This was Magnus. So it was okay. Everything will be okay somehow. It will. Maybe I can't do this but I can continue trying. It's the best I can do.
For Jace and Izzy.
Did you like it? Tell me what you think.
My baby is in pain but Magnus is here to make it all better. I really hope I did good here and you liked it. Please tell me what you think below
So anyway review my lovelies.