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Never give coffe to a filly

By Jared Bichler

Humor / Children

Cadance's day

Cadance trotted happily through the streets of Canterlot. While many ponies her age considered foalsitting a chore, the young princess of love simply adored the chance to spend time with little ponies. Cadance also prided herself on knowing all the young ponies in Canterlot; Minuette, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine we’re all very close, Lyra Heartstring loved music and stories of mythological creatures particularly the humans, and Moon Dancer was very shy and Cadance was starting to think she wasn’t just reading for knowledge. Of course there were the occasional bad apples in the bunch like Jet Set and Upper Crust both of who were very vocal of the fact that their foalsitter was the lesser known alicorn princess and niece of their magical ruler Princess Celestia (Cadance had told them multiple times that this was an adoptive relationship but they never mentioned that particular fact), and Cadance had attempted to connect with her aunt’s protégé but she seemed more interested in learning more spells and becoming more powerful but deep down Cadance knew the young pony had a good heart.  However currently she was on her way to foalsit for her favorite little filly Twilight Sparkle. Upon arriving at the house of the filly in question she found the door already open “hello?” she called in.

Sitting at the kitchen counter was Twilight’s older brother Shining Armor with a cup of coffee next to him “hello Cadance” he greeted eyes darting about the room.

“Good morning, Shining Armor” Cadance greeted as she walked in and closed the door tightly behind her. “So, are your parents gone already?” she inquired putting down her saddle sack.

“Yep, left a half hour ago” Shining Armor responded as his left hind-hoof began to twitch slightly.

“And where’s Twilight?” Cadance happily questioned.

Shining Armor coughed nervously “Ummm, yeah about Twily…” he began eyes never meeting Cadance.

“Cadance” cheered the filly in question as she appeared from the hall and quite literally bounced to Cadance.

Cadance giggled thinking the filly’s loud greeting was merely a sign she was happy to see her favorite foalsitter. “Hello Twilight” Cadance replied as she prepared to do the little greeting dance they’d made up together, however Twilight was one step ahead of her.

“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake clap your hooves and do a little shake” Twilight recited in one breath doing the steps in the blink of an eye and then continued to bounce in place.

“Ummm, Twilight are you ok?” asked Cadance her eyes following the bouncing filly.

“Great, super, fine, spectacular” Twilight quickly and never missed a note.

“Shining?”  Cadance looked at Shinning Armor questioningly, Shining Armor began whistle innocently which was a red flag he had something to do with this, Cadance then found herself looking at the coffee cup which had been toppled over telling her it was empty, that was when it clicked. “Oh no” Cadance began face hoofing herself “no, tell me you didn’t give her coffee” she begged.

“Well yeah” he admitted. In response to the glare he got from Cadance he quickly added “look she came to me this morning…

*Flashback*

Shining Armor sits at the kitchen counter, reading his father’s finished newspaper while sipping his morning coffee when he hears a small yawn, he looks over and sees his little sister Twilight rubbing her right eye sleepily, her mane giving off that fresh out of bed look. “Good morning Twily” said Shining Armor.

“Good morning Shiny” Twilight greeted back as she noticed the coffee cup “B.B.B.F.F (big brother best friend forever) what’s that?” she asked pointing to the cup.

“Just my morning Joe” Shining Armor replied casually.

“Joe?” repeated Twilight quizzically “like that pony who works at the doughnut shop?” she asked.

Shining chuckled to himself “no Twily, I’m just drinking my coffee” he corrected.

“Oh” Twilight spoke as she sat down next to her older brother “how come you, mommy, and daddy drink that stuff every morning?” she asked.

“Just a little morning energy” answered Shining Armor taking a sip of his coffee.

“Can I try?” Inquired Twilight innocently.

“I don’t know Twily, it’s not really for little ponies” he responded.

“I’m not a little pony, I’m a big pony” Twilight argued stubbornly.

Shining chuckled again “I know Twily” he said “I’m just worried it’s too much caffeine for a…” he paused “younger pony” he corrected.

“I wanna try” Twilight complained crossing her hooves.

“Well I guess a little sip can’t hurt” Shining spoke to himself as he cautiously handed his coffee to Twilight. Twilight was always a very eager to please little filly, she was always looking to prove herself to those she looked up to like Shining Armor or Cadance, in this case she wanted to show her brother that she was capable of handling coffee. Therefore the moment she had her hooves on the coffee cup she guzzled it down before Shining Armor could stop her. “Oh boy” said Shining Armor “Twily?” he asked cautiously “are you ok?” he asked.

“Yeah” Twilight responded before she added a little smugly “see, I told you I was a big pony” as she finished the statement her hind hooves began to twitch. “I don’t know why you would want to drink that stuff though it was yucky” she added bouncing from her seat “and it didn’t give me any energy” she pointed out as she bounced across the kitchen “I feel perfectly normal” she spoke as she jumped onto an armchair “yep perfectly normal” she added bouncing from the chair to a couch.

“Oh boy” Shinning declared.

Suddenly Twilight went to the door, opened it, and looked out “Cadance is coming” she announced loudly “I’m thirsty” she added running to the kitchen sink.

*End of flashback*

“And that’s what happened” Shining finished.

“I can’t believe you gave a filly coffee and…” Cadance began before Twilight jumped onto her back causing Cadance to fall to the floor.

“Yeah Cadance, I drank coffee like the big ponies and I feel perfectly fine” Twilight proclaimed as she jittered on top of her foalsitter’s back and began to play with Cadance's mane.

“That’s great Honey” Cadance replied as sweetly as she could before glaring at Shining Armor.

Shining Armor began to sweat nervously “ummm, well I should get to cadet training” he claimed before running to his room to get his things.

“Wait” replied Cadance getting up and running after him.

“Wee” Twilight happily proclaimed as she rode on her foalsitter’s back.

“Shining you can’t just leave me” Cadance begged as Shining Armor quickly gathered his things and then made a mad dash for the door. “Shining Armor” Cadance screamed as Shining Armor ran out the door “Shining Armor, you get back here right now!” Cadance demanded as the pony in question ran down the streets. Cadance groaned angrily “boys” she declared as she closed the door.

“Wee, that was fun” Twilight happily proclaimed as she grabbed her foalsitter’s pony tailed mane “do it again, do it again” she begged bouncing on Cadance’s back “faster, faster” she added pulling Cadance’s mane.

Cadance grabbed Twilight in her magic and levitated the filly off her back “Twilight, Honey you need to calm down” she told her little friend.

“Why?” Twilight questioned “I feel fine, super, great” she repeated she then quickly added “so what do you wanna do today huh, huh, huh, huh?” she asked edging closer to Cadance eventually touching muzzles with her.

“Ummm” Cadance thought for a moment “how about some nice reading?” she suggested.

“No!” Twilight proclaimed bouncing in place one more.

“Maybe some coloring or we could play with Smarty Pants” suggested Cadance referring to Twilight’s favorite toy.

“No I don’t want to today” answered Twilight as an idea came to her. “I know what I wanna do!” she proclaimed happily, running off into the house with Cadance in pursuit. Cadance tried to keep up with the little filly but lost her in the hallway.

“Twilight, where are you?” Cadance called.

“In here Cadey” replied Twilight’s voice from her parent’s room.

Cadance walked into the room of her employers and found the little filly jumping on the bed “Twilight, you know not to do that” Cadance declared forcefully “get down right now” she demanded.

“No” Twilight retorted as she continued bouncing.

“Twilight” said Cadance angrily “somepony needs to be punished” she said charging her horn.

“You’ll have to catch me first” mocked Twilight as she leapt through the air over Cadance before her foalsitter could achieve a magical grip.

“Twilight you get back here right now” Cadance demanded as she took chase of the little filly.

“No” replied Twilight with a giggle as she stuck her tongue out at Cadance.

“Twilight!” Cadance spoke completely shocked, never before had the little filly been so defiant and rude. “When I catch you you’re in big trouble” she promised as she ran after Twilight.

“Can’t catch me, can’t catch me” Twilight mocked as filly and foalsitter chase continued through the living room with Twilight jumping from one piece of furniture to the next while Cadance chased her as best she could while having to catch Twilight things would occasionally bump as she jumped to prevent them from falling. The chase continued for half an hour before Twilight stopped to look out a window and Cadance collapsed from exhaustion behind her. “It’s pretty out today Cadey” said Twilight happily.

“Twilight…” Cadance began before she was interrupted.

“Let’s go outside” Twilight proclaimed rushing like a whirlwind out the front door.

Cadance groaned before levitating her saddle sack on “I’m going to kill Shining Armor” she promised herself as she took off.

Their chase taking them to the streets Cadance tried several times to restrain Twilight with magic but the little filly was too fast for her eventually their chase led them to the market place where shops of every kind greeted them.

Twilight found her way into a flea market type shop where two ponies were attempting to carry a large gong out of the shop “oh” the little filly commented curiously as she magically lifted the mallet “what’s this for?” she inquired as she prepared to strike the gong.

“No, no, no don’t kid” the two ponies begged.

“Twilight put that down” demanded Cadance. Twilight only smiled mischievously and hit the gong with all her might. The resulting noise shook the ears of the two ponies carrying the gong and Cadance. “Twilight…” Cadance began loudly as Twilight ran out of the shop “I’m sorry” Cadance told the two ponies before running after her young charge “Twilight Sparkle you’re headed for a big time out” she declared.

Their chase continued down the streets until Twilight ran into a certain shop and when Cadance looked at the sign she wanted to scream. “A candy shop, oh my Celestia” commented Cadence to herself as she ran in.

Cadance saw Twilight diving into all the candy bins "Hey kid, is that purple brat with you?" demanded the shop owner she looked like she was very close to contacting the royal guards.

“I’m so sorry, she’s normally beautifully behaved” Cadance assured the pony as she levitated her wallet out of her saddle sack “just bill me for whatever she ate, I’ll take care of the little pony” Cadance promised as she marched toward Twilight who was currently lying in an empty bin. “Twilight Sparkle! You’re in big trouble” Cadance declared sternly. Cadance was expecting the caffeine controlled filly to stick out her tongue and then add some rude comment or to try to run away again but Twilight just stayed lying there.

Cadance paused for a moment, as if waiting for the filly to do something but Twilight remained still so Cadance approached the little filly and cautiously tapped her on the shoulder. Feeling the touch of her foalsitter, Twilight turned to Cadance with a slightly queasy look “Cadance, I don’t feel so good” she commented silently and slowly.

In an instant Cadance realized that the caffeine powered, hyper, and rude filly was gone leaving behind a filly who was tired and queasy from too much candy, but it was the Twilight Cadance knew and loved all the same. “How do you feel honey?” asked Cadance sweetly as she stroked the little filly’s mane.

“My tummy hurts” Twilight responded as her little horsey cheeks suddenly inflated.

“Oh my” said Cadance as she quickly levitated a large candy bag to Twilight “here honey” she told the young filly as Twilight began to throw up in the bag. “Let’s get you home my little pony” Cadance added as she levitated the still sick spewing pony onto her back. “I’m so sorry for all trouble she caused” Cadance added to the shop owner as the candy pony handed Cadance back her considerably lighter purse.

“Cadance” commented Twilight as the two ponies turned into Twilight’s house “are you mad at me?” she asked innocently.

“Well Twilight I’m not exactly happy with you but I know it wasn’t your fault” Cadance told the young pony. “But you’re not getting any more sugar or caffeine for a while and tomorrow we’re going to go back to those shops and you’re going to apologize to the owners” she added in an authoritative but calm voice. “How do you feel?” Cadance added as she threw away the candy bag and walked into Twilight’s house.

“My tummy still feels bubbly, I really have to go potty, and…” Twilight yawned before finishing “I’m really tired” rubbing her eyes as she spoke.

“Well we’ll get you cleaned up than snuggled up into bed” Cadance promised.

After a while, following a few more spewings and bathroom breaks Twilight was curled up under her sheets wearing her favorite pajamas “thank you Cadance” said Twilight as her foalsitter handed the little pony Smarty Pants.

“You’re very welcome Twilight” Cadance replied with a smile.

At that moment the two ponies heard Twilight’s door open and Shining Armor walked in carrying a shopping bag in his magic “hey how were things today?” he asked.

Cadance glared at him “I suggest you start writing your will” she declared.

Twilight felt her stomach act up again “oh, why did you give me coffee?”

Shinning chuckled “you wanted to try it” he answered defensively.

“And if I wanted to jump off a cliff would you let me do that too?” Twilight inquired.

“I brought presents” Shinning smiled as he levitated two bouquets of roses to the two ponies.

“Trying to bribe us?” asked Cadance as she sniffed her flowers.

“Hey I just didn't want the two ponies I love mad at me” Shining Armor responded.

Cadance smiled mischievously “the two ponies I love?” she repeated as Twilight giggled. “Why Shining Armor did you just say you love me?” Cadance inquired.

“What I…?” Shining began nervously.

“Shiny loves Cadey, Shiny loves Cadey” Twilight sang “hey can I be in your wedding?” she commented.

“What... wedding... I never said anything…” stammered Shining Armor.

“Are you guys going to have foals?” asked Twilight.

“Of course you can be in our wedding Twilight and of course we’re going to have foals, in fact lots of foals”  Cadance promised patting Twilight on the head and then she turned to Shining Armor trying to look serious “maybe we should get started” she said.

Poor Shining Armor began blushing bright red “but… I… foals… wedding” he stammered nervously before turning away. “Ummm I got homework to do” he ran rushing to the safety of his room.

Once Shining was gone Cadance giggled “now we’re even” she commented before turning to Twilight the two ponies high-hoofed each other then began giggling.

“That was fun” Twilight spoke with a yawn.

Cadance chuckled “time for bed my little pony” she smiled maternally tucking Twilight in.

“Hey Cadance, what did you mean when you told Shiny you wanted a lot of foals and wanted to get started now?” asked little Twilight innocently.

Now it was Cadance’s turn to blush “I’ll tell you when you’re older honey” Cadance promised.

Twilight paused for a second “ok, I’m older” she reported “now tell me” she added.

Once again Cadance chuckled “older than that honey” she corrected turning out the light and kissing the little pony on the cheek “now time for bed” she said.

Twilight yawned again “okay good night Cadance” she spoke as she made herself comfortable.

Cadance watched the little pony toss and turn for five minutes then just lay still for another five minutes before she heard the little pony begin to snore her little snore which reminded Cadance of a kitten purring. Cadance giggled this was what she loved about foalsitting; little ponies could get difficult at time as today more than demonstrated but it was moments like this that made it all worth it. “Good night my little pony” whispered Cadance as she crept out of the room.


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