Attached

Sarah

"Hey, you ready to go?"
I look up from my file. Then check my clock. Wow, time flew by today. "Yeah, let me get this packed, and I'm right behind you."
Harm nods and waits for me to get ready. Thank God for Friday's. A whole weekend with the kids ahead of us. Nothing I would want more. Bud and Harriet are coming over for dinner tonight, and it's gonna be the first time they'll see the kids. Knowing Harriet, she'll freak out. Bud will be shocked, no doubt.
I turn off the lights and close the door behind me. We're late. Twenty-minutes late, to be exact. We usually leave around 1700.
"You two heading out?" Amanda, who's standing in the bullpen, asks us.
"Yep," I confirm. "Really looking forward to a weekend of doing absolutely nothing."
Harm arches an eyebrow. "A weekend of doing absolutely nothing? Since when is that?"
I swat his arm. "Never mind him."
Amanda smiles. "Hey, what I meant to ask you… You guys want to get drinks somewhere? Gunny told me that you guys usually head out to McMurphy's on Friday night."
Wow, it's been ages since Harm and I have been to McMurphy's. Amanda is right though, we usually headed out. But the kids need to be in bed on time, and since Bud and Harriet are coming over, tonight is not the night. Maybe next week…
"I already made plans for tonight," Harm apologizes.
Yeah, that's easy for him to say. Everybody here thinks that he has a baby at home, and that he needs to be there with 'Sarah', his for now none existent girlfriend. But nobody knows anything about me. So, what do I tell Amanda?
"I have friends coming over tonight, Mandy. How about next week?" And that's not even a lie.
Casper has walked up by now. "Didn't I tell you that even the two best lawyers JAG offers go home before 1900 on week nights?" he teases Amanda. He is actually the one who constantly calls her Mandy. I have to find out why that is.
Amanda shrugs. "I don't want to take work with me," she offers. Then turns back to us. "Next week, then?"
Harm and I both nod. "Next week sounds good."
Mic comes walking out of the Admiral's office and I feel his eyes on me immediately. He's been pushing me to go out with him more then once ever since we had lunch. I'm not so stupid that I don't understand that the guys is interested in me, but I'm sort-of involved and he doesn't make a chance.
I whisper something in Harm's ear and make my way over to Mic. "Mic, do you have a second?"
His eyes turn hopeful within the second. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. "For you, always, Sarah."
How many times do I have to tell him that I go by Mac in the office? Even Amanda and Casper adapted to that with not too much trouble. Sarah is preserved for Harm and Uncle Matt. I close the door of my office behind me, but I leave the blinds open. Harm will be watching from the corner of his eye, and that's exactly the way I want it.
Mic looks at me. "Did you change your mind about tonight?"
I take a deep breath. "Look, Mic, I'm afraid that I gave you the wrong impression when I accepted to have lunch with you the other day. I don't know what you thought of it, but to me it was just a lunch between two co-workers and nothing more. I probably should've told you before, but I'm not looking to start anything with you."
He stares at me. Damn, that's exactly what I thought. He thought more of it. Probably took my politeness for… well, something it's not. Damnit!
"All right," he softly says. "So, are you seeing someone else?"
There's only one man I ever want to get involved with; only one man who will ever have my heart and that man is Harm. And nobody but Harm. "Very involved is a little more accurate."
"What does that mean?"
Does he really want to go to the bottom of this? "It means that I'm in a very stable relationship with someone."
He nods, thinking. "Do I know him?"
Don't start that with me. Don't you dare to start. "No." Not the way I do, anyway. I walk back to my door and open it slightly. "I'm very sorry that I gave you the wrong impression, Mic. I honestly didn't mean to."
Mic gives me a weak smile. "Well, it was worth the shot, wasn't it? No worries, Sarah."
Inwardly, I groan. "Would it kill you to call me Mac?"
Now he's surprised. "Excuse me?"
"I tell everybody to call me Mac, and you ignore it and keep calling me Sarah." If he does it one more time, I'll… I don't know what I will do. But it won't be good.
"But Sarah's your name," he protests.
Yeah, Sarah is my name. And very little people use it. "You're right, Sarah is my name. But there are only two people in the whole wide world who get to call me Sarah. And, frankly, you're not one of them."
Okay, that was not nice. But I seriously hate it when people call me something else. For friends and co-workers it's Mac. For people more close to me, like Harm and Uncle Matt, it's Sarah. Bud and Harriet even call me 'Ma'am' off duty.
He is able to respect my wishes for once, right? It's not as if I'm asking the unthinkable of him. "Mac," he repeats. "If that's really what you want…"
"It is." My cell phone starts to ring and I pick it up.
"Hey babe, it's me." It's Harm, probably pretending he's calling his girlfriend.
I start to talk Russian to him. "Hey."
"Just wanted to tell you that I should be home in about forty-five to an hour." His voice is cheerful, but I can hear the concerned layer. Sometimes I think he knows me too well.
"I'm coming. Had to have a little conversation with Mic. See you in the parking lot, okay?"
"Yeah, I love you too, baby. See you soon." His tone is teasing. Oh, did you really have to say that? My knees are going to give out from under me.
I pretend to be on the phone for a couple of seconds longer and then shut it. Mic runs a hand through his hair. "I should let you get out, as you planned. I'll catch you next week."
I really burst his bubble. And yes, I'm very guilty. I should've told him sooner. With one last smile, I make it out the door and let my breath out. Harm is still standing in the bullpen, talking to Amanda and Casper. I pull my lips up. "Are you going to drop me off, or are you going to talk to them for the rest of the night, Flyboy?"
Harm ruffles through my hair. Oh, well, I need to get it out of the bun anyway. "Ready if you are, Ninja-girl."
The two new officers are not used to our banter yet. Amanda has tried to get to the bottom of my relationship with Harm in the past few days that she's been here, but my lips are sealed when it comes to that.
We say our goodbyes and make our way over to the elevators. When we're finally sitting in the car, Harm looks at me. "You okay, Sar?"
I nod, wiping the strands of hair out of my face. "I had to set something straight." He's concerned, I can feel it. But other than the fact that Mic got under my skin, I'm perfectly fine. Can't wait to see the kids. "And what is it with that phone call?"
"What?" He's giving me that I'm-completely-innocent look. "What about the phone call?"
"I love you too, baby. See you soon?" I say.
Harm starts to laugh. "Hey, it had to be credible for the people standing with me. And I needed to make sure you were okay in there. Mic didn't seem too happy."
That's because he wasn't. "Remember I told you that we had lunch the other day?"
As if Harm is going to forget that. He wasn't very happy with me when I told him that. "Yeah, I remember that."
I fidget with the hands in my lap. "I needed to tell him that I wasn't looking for a relationship, and Mic was not happy when I told him."
Harm reaches over and takes my hand. "Nobody would be happy when you told them that, Sarah."
I intertwine my fingers with his. "Would you be disappointed if I told you that?"
"Of course I would be." He smiles his famous smile. "But, luckily for me, I don't have to worry about that, now do I?"
We're still sleeping the same bedroom. In the same bed. And we've become closer; it would've been very strange if we hadn't. We're slowly lifting our friendship into something more. Something, that I feel, could last a lifetime. But we haven't said anything yet. On the other hand, that's probably not even necessary. Harm and I can understand each other without the words.
"Not really, no. I'm going home with you. Unless, 'Sarah', has a problem with me coming over…"
Harm starts to laugh. "I don't think Sarah will have a problem with you coming over." He's silent for a while. His thoughts are with the kids. It's that look he gets into his eyes sometimes. I don't know what it is. When I see that look, I know that he's thinking about the kids. "Gabe needs to start talking, Sarah."
Noa is talking 24/7 if she gets the chance now, but Gabe hasn't uttered a word. Harm's very concerned about that, and so am I. Ellen keeps saying that we should give it more time; as much as we want to, we can't undo what has been done to him for the past five years.
"He'll start to talk when he's ready, Harm. Give him a little space, all right?" It's not really what Harm wants to hear, but it's all that I can offer him.
He pulls up in front of the kindergarten. "I'll do my best," he tells me.
I raise our joined hands and kiss his fingers. "That's all I ask."
While getting out of the car, it suddenly hits me again that Bud and Harriet are coming to dinner tonight. Oh god, now I need to figure out what to tell Harriet. And, more importantly, how I'm going to tell her.


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