Home is Where You Will Always Belong

Chapter 18

One and a half Months Later

The last month and half since both her and Juice had been released from the hospital had flown by. Her and the kids were living with Chibs and that arrangement was really working out well. Evander and Darcy absolutely loved Uncle Chibs. The boys and Juice had been spending a lot of time together when Juice wasn't working and they were also spending a lot of time as a family. Peyton and Juice were also working on them. They had decided that they would start from the beginning again and start dating.

Peyton and Juice were still haunted by flashbacks and nightmares of that night, but they were slowly working through that. They were both seeing somebody to work through their feelings about that night and how they should go on with their lives. Peyton missed Bobby more than anything in the world and she would often find herself up at the cabin, one of Bobby's favorite spots, where they had buried him just to be alone with her thoughts and talk to Bobby.

Tig had gone to his sentencing hearing about four days after her and Juice were released from the hospital and they all went as a club and family to support him. The judge had been surprised that Justin, or James Berkley, had ever been released from the prison in Calgary at all. He had apologized for all the damage that had been done to their club and their family and was glad to see that those who had been hurt had made a full recovery physically. He expressed his sympathy for the emotional and mental damage that had been done. In the end the judge believed that Tig had acted in self defence to protect his family and his club. He gave Tig six years in Stockton with a chance of parole in 1 year. That was better than SAMCRO's lawyer had expected. Tig had been given an opportunity to get things in order and say goodbye to everyone and then he was taken away. They had been pretty good with granting him visitation and Peyton had been to see him once since he started his time.

Peyton hadn't found a job yet, but her doctor and her psychiatrist had decided that she should wait a few more months. She should just focus on living a calm life and learning how to be the mother that Evander and Darcy needed. She had loved this. She got to spend more time with her kids than she ever had before and she got to know them as they were now and not as they were before when they all lived with Justin.

Over the last week Peyton had found herself hunched over the toilet puking, regularly. Now here she was sitting on the toilet staring at an unused pregnancy test. She took a deep breath and took the disposable cup and peed into it. "It's now or never," she whispered to herself as she dipped the test into the cup. She held it there and waited the one minute like the instructions stated. That one minute felt like ten years to Peyton. Once she got to 60 she rested the test on some toilet paper and buried her head in her hands. She couldn't look, but she did know that if she was pregnant, it was guaranteed to be Juice's. Her and Justin hadn't had sex in over four months, so there was no way it was his.

Peyton stood up and pulled up her pants, but she still couldn't bring herself to look at the test. She sat on the side of the tub just as Chibs knocked on the door. "Love, how much longer ye gonna be?" he called through the door. "I'm done," Peyton said, not moving from her spot on the edge of the tub, "You can come in." The door opened and Chibs walked in. "What's wrong love?" he asked, looking over at her and then noticing the cup and the stick on the paper towel, "Oh... Should I leave?" "No, don't go," Peyton replied, looking up at him, "Please stay." "Have you looked yet?" he asked her. She kept looking at him and shook her head in response. She was nervous, terrified, excited and she felt like she could puke at any moment.

"Do you want me to..." he said, pointing towards the test. She nodded her head. Chibs reached for the test and looked down at it. He kept a straight face as he looked back at her after analyzing the test. He had always been very good and not letting on if news was good or bad and at this particular moment Peyton had hated that particular trait of his. "Damnit Chibs... what the hell is the verdict?" Peyton exploded. She could see a small smile pull at the corner of his lips and she instantly jumped up and into his arms. He held her and kissed her on the cheek before putting her back on the ground. She grabbed the test from him and looked at it. "Oh my god Chibs," Peyton exclaimed, feeling panicked all of a sudden, "What do I do?" "Well, I would start by telling him," Chibs replied, grinning at her. She glared at him. His smile disappeared and he leaned against the counter. "You're worried that it might not be his?" Chibs inquired. "It has to be," Peyton said quietly, "I was with him two months ago, right before Justin kidnapped me from Portland. And I haven't been with Justin in like four months, so it can't be his." "Then what's the worry sweetheart?" Chibs asked, "Just tell him and if you want, get a paternity test done a little ways down the road. Don't worry about Juice's reaction, he will be happier than a pig in shit when he hears the news! I know I am!"

She smiled at his response, but then in a matter of seconds she had pushed him out of the way and was on her knees puking up her breakfast. Chibs moved over her and grabbed her hair so that it wouldn't get hit in the crossfire. "Thank you," she mumbled before another wave hit her. Chibs continued to hold her hair back and knelt down behind her and rubbed her back. He was so comforting and he treated her like his daughter and she loved that about him. After a few minutes Peyton wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and sat down on the floor, leaning against the tub.

"Sorry you had to witness that," Peyton said quietly, smiling at him, "But thank you for staying with me." "It's not a problem love," he replied, sitting beside her. They sat in silence and it was like she could read his mind. "I'm going to tell Juice today," Peyton said, looking over at him, "But I'm going to the hospital to talk to Tara first. I need to see when the soonest possible time for me to get a paternity test would be. I have a feeling that I'm right, but I would be at ease until I know for sure." "That's good sweetheart," he said, "You do what is best for you and what makes you comfortable. If you need anything else from me, you know where to find me." She smiled at him as he stood up and patted her on the shoulder. "Congratulations love," he said before walking out of the bathroom.

A little while later, Peyton stepped off the elevator and walked towards Tara's office. As she turned the corner she walked straight into Jax. "Hey Darlin," he said, smiling at her, "Is everything ok?" His smile disappeared and he looked at her with concern. "Oh I'm fine," Peyton replied, smiling back at him to reassure him, "I just wanted to see if Tara wanted to grab lunch." "I'm sure she would love that," Jax replied, his smile returning, "I was just about to grab Thomas and Abel from daycare and take them over to Gemma's for the afternoon. Where are Evander and Darcy? Did you want me to take them over so they can play with the boys?" "Sure," Peyton replied, "They are at the clubhouse with Juice and Happy. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a little break. Thanks!" "It's my pleasure," he replied before leaning in and giving her a kiss on the cheek, "Enjoy your lunch."

Peyton watched him walk away before she turned the corner and knocked on Tara's door. "Come in," she called. Peyton walked in and closed the door. "Peyton, hi!" Tara exclaimed happily, "Please tell me you have come here to take me out for lunch and rescue me from the all consuming chaos which is my job?" Peyton sat down in the chair across from Tara's desk and giggled. "Busy day?" Peyton asked her, raising an eyebrow. "Not at all," Tara replied sarcastically. "Yes, I'm taking you out for lunch," Peyton replied, "But first I need your help." "Sure, anything," Tara responded, "What's up?"

Peyton reached into her purse and pulled out a plastic baggie and threw it on Tara's desk. Tara reached for it and her eyes grew wider than Peyton had ever seen them. "Holy Shit!" Tara exclaimed excitedly, "Have you told him yet?" "No," Peyton replied, "I plan on telling him today. But I need to have a paternity test done." Tara's smile and excitement disappeared and she looked over at her friend. "What are the odds that this baby is Justin's?" Tara asked her. "It's been about 4 months since Justin and I were together and only two months since Juice and I were together," Peyton replied, "I'm pretty sure it's Juice's, but I still feel uneasy." "I completely understand," Tara replied, "I'm with you. It's better to be safe than sorry, even if the moment that baby pops out you will be able to tell whose it is." Tara smiled again and Peyton smiled back.

"So how soon can we do one?" Peyton asked her curiously. "Well, we will have to do an ultrasound and take some measurements and I will be able to tell you exactly how far along you are," Tara replied, "Do you still want it done if you are around the 8 week mark?" "I think so," Peyton replied, "I know it's a silly thing, but I won't feel at ease until it's done, even if I believe I know what the answer is going to be." "Ok, we'll get it done. But you know, that no matter what the result is, that baby growing inside you will be Juice's. You don't ever have to mention Justin to this baby," Tara replied, reaching across the desk for Peyton's hand. "I know and I'm sure Juice will feel the same way," Peyton replied, "That's not why I want it done. I want to get it done because Juice has a right to know if it's his or Justin's." Tara nodded her head in understanding. "I just love how much you two love each other, even after so much time has passed," Tara said quietly, "It's a beautiful love story."

Peyton smiled, but she didn't see her relationship with Juice the same way Tara did. Maybe the ending was beautiful, but there was too much hurt, too many tears, too many days spent apart, too much loneliness and way too much destruction. It took all of that to bring them back together and it was 11 years that she would much rather forget. But she could also understand how Tara would view this as beautiful. No matter what happened and what the odds were, love and family brought them back together.

"Do you have time to do a quick ultrasound before we go to lunch?" Tara asked, "I can check how far along you are, maybe hear the heartbeat and then we can set up a date to do the paternity test. You have to be about 4 months pregnant to have it done." "Actually, could we do it tomorrow?" Peyton asked her, "I would really like Juice to be with me for this. He hasn't experienced this part and I'm sure he would like to." "Of course," Tara replied, "I'll schedule you in. Are you free around 11:00 am?" "You bet," Peyton replied happily, "Thank you so much Tara, for everything." "Anything for you," Tara replied.

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