Hinata and Tobio are still trying their best. Everyone is trying their best. Failures after failures, spikes after spikes, Daichi can tell they are doing everything they can with everything they have.
So this is growth, she thinks putting on her headphone. Makes her really wonder if there is something that can be called growth for her.
Another fail from the first-year duo.
No, The Captain saved it. Seems that Nekoma is starting to be more offensive. Hmmm, it's normal for them to do so now that they got the hang of Karasuno's skills.
But, the girl smiles.
"Let's go Hinata. One, two!"
Strong spike ain't the only thing we've got.
The ball crashes into the ground and Daichi's head starts to hurt. This is getting more strenuous than she originally thought. A sudden quick from Nekoma side and she jerks up, the dull pain suddenly disappears. Apparently they did something before where all of the members charge at their opponent (she can't really see and their footsteps are all jumbled up. The only mean of seeing for her is Sugawara) according to the kind-hearted setter. If memory serves her right, Granddad Ukai used to say something about that. Something!
What was it?!
Pain flares from the left of her head and Daichi crouches down gripping where it hurts.
You can't let go now, she mentally scolds, only one point and it's deuce!
A light tap from Nekoma's side.
From the setter no less?!
Surely they must be kidding? Even if this isn't an official match, it is still a match. All those tension, all those excitement and he can still manage to think so calmly; enough to do a dump?!
The ache increases and Daichi is forced to stop for a moment. Her hand roams around the inside of her bag until she finds the med bottle.
"Chicchan, are you okay?", Sugawara-san asks, she feels his presence very close.
"Water", she says, "I just need water"
And water she gets. Chugging down the aspirin pills, Daichi wills her mind back to the game.
Karasuno is still okay. They manage to get another chance for deuce, she has to see it through.
Asahi slams the ball down but appears to have no hit. Nekoma's libero is good.
"Azumane, direct spike!", she hears Ukai shouts.
A change of aura and Daichi gasps.
Another loud slam and Daichi almost jumps. It's a no-go. Both team struggle for the ball as she feels her body being pulled towards the court.
Daichi is on her toes.
She wants to touch the ball.
She wants to play.
She wants to watch a match.
She wants to see!
A big tweet comes and Daichi flinches. The match ended. Nekoma's win.
Slapping on her cheeks to wake herself up, Daichi sighs. Now that she thinks about it. This match last too long but end too soon. Ironically.
If only we can have another ma-
"One more time!", she hear Hinata says and couldn't help cracking a smirk. Normally she would disagree but this time Daichi's gonna back him up full force.
HINATA YOU FUCKING MONSTROUS MORON!, Daichi cringes gripping her head.
Fuck his short height and huge stamina.
She can hear Sugawara constantly at her side with a bottle of water. This much aspirin in one day is outright overdose. The third-year keeps telling her to get some rest but can she?!
Everyone else is fighting too with every drop of physical strength, and probably mental strength as well, that they have, so she can't be dropping out now. That would be both coward and irresponsible!
But THREE freaking matches straight, Hinata? THREE FUCKING MATCHES!
"Let's go one mo-"
Daichi jerks the bottle off the third-year setter's hand and throw it at the source of her irritation. The kid yelps and Ukai, probably took her cue, swoops in scolding Hinata about Shinkansen hour.
The girl breathes, waiting for the flaring pain to calm down to the point of that it becomes dull aches before going after Kiyoko to clean up the team's bottles, ignoring all warning and nagging from Sugawara.
"Are you okay?", Kiyoko asks as soon as Daichi slumps down against the wall
"Yeah, I just need a little bit less of Hinata in a match. Kid 's got stamina but he gotta think about the other a tad"
The manager laughs, asking for another bottle. "Hinata sure is talented right?", she says, "I was really surprised too seeing him jump for the first time"
"So I guess it wasn't only me huh?", Daichi comments, "Kind of remind me of the Little Giant"
"Speaking of which, Hinata's idol is the Little Giant, you know?", Kiyoko exclaims
And Daichi gasps. "Get outta here!", she cries, "Little Giant is like my first crush ever!"
"Oh man, I heard he's like super handsome. I wanted to meet him so badly but he seems to have already moved outta town. And I heard he have quite a temper too if you mess enough with him"
She grins, feeling her heart beating fast. Little Giant, huh? So nostalgic… Granddad Ukai used to tell her all those stories about him when she couldn't sleep. His name has already become somewhat of a Lullaby to her.
Can't believe Hinata admires the man.
"Hey!", an abrupt call comes and Daichi almost instantly snaps her head towards the voice.
"N-Nishinoya? What's wrong?", she asks a bit confused by the presence of the boy. He should be with the team right now, at least the guys are saying good bye to Nekoma right?
"Chicchan, can we talk for a second?", Yuu asks and after aying a few reminders to Kiyoko, Daichi leaves to follow the libero. Half still confused, half kind of excited, she clenches her fists and make sure not to fall behind.
What does he want to talk about anyway? It's not like they really have any common topic lately as far as she can recall.
Decide to ignore her own curiosity, the girl deeply inhales and keeps her silence. Well, it's their actual first time talking alone to each other so let's just not ruin anything for starter.
"I'll go straight to the point", Yuu starts, "What is wrong with your eyes?"
Daichi loses her breath for an instant.
She didn't expect that.
It was much easier with the way Kiyoko and Sugawara found out about her eyes that the girl barely have time to seriously prepared for being asked like this. She tries to think, tries to come up with some type of way to get out of this situation. Nothing. Worst, the dull pain that she worked so hard to push into the back of her head is digging itself out again, slowly trying to crush each neuron inside of her head. Daichi feels scared, not sure of the pain or the boy standing only steps away from her. For a second she felt like she's going to vomit.
No, the girl thinks.
Yuu would never- but how can she be sure?! How can Daichi be certain that he wouldn't be like other people and treat her differently? One can never fully trust others. Isn't that always what mom says? He might be thinking that she's a fool for helping Ukai. They'll all turn on her if they find out how she is.
Her head buzzes, blank noises fills her ears and she turns, trying to run back to the blond hair coach.
No. I don't want to stop now, a silent cry rings through her head, I want to stay in this team! Not yet! Not until I beat Tohru and go to the nationals! Not yet!
"Why are you not answering my question?", the libero's voice echoes painfully through her ears.
"I don't have to", she huffs, annoyed, "Why do you care anyway?"
Wait. That's not-
"Okay", the boy response, evidently pissed, "You don't have to tell me. But if you are actually what I think you ar-fuck it, I don't even care. You can be what the fuck you want to but don't lie to us. I won't accept that"
"My personal life doesn't need your permission-"
"It is if it involves that team"
Somehow… a part of her dies after hearing that.
Daichi smirks, bitterly, "What do you think you are that you can be so highly and mightily demands an answer from me? Who do you think you are that I cannot lie to you?"
"I don't know? You tell me", he growls, "A friend, maybe?! Someone you can trust?!"
And she says, voice cold "Since when? I don't do trust", Daichi crosses her arms, "Nothing good comes to me when I trust people so excuse me if I don't feel the need to depend on you or anyone else"
Silence, from his side. And then something like a sound of gritting teeth.
"Is that what you think you are doing? The practice, the training, the school, the class, bullies, this? Is that your definition of being independent?!"
Daichi feels a strong yanks on her collar. Her blood boils as she holds a tight grip on the libero's wrists.
"I live my life how I want", she fastens her fingers around the skin of his arm. The warm from it almost burns her heart, "You have no right to comment"
"You're running away. That's not living a life. And I don't really give a fuck what is going on with you but-"
"That's why", the pained girl coughs up a sneer, "You don't give a fuck. That's why"
Slowly, and agonizingly, Daichi rips herself out of Yuu's hand. Can't believe just a moment before the girl was so excited about this talk. Well moments ago she didn't know that he would start something like this. How could she really? Is it Enoshita who told him about this?!
That little punk!
She'll show him hell after they get back.
"Do you know why I didn't tell any of you about my eyes?", she asks
Silence was his answer.
"I know how you all feel about me. Hinata is a dumb kid who pretty much likes anyone who is nice to him. Tobio just doesn't care. Yamaguchi just mostly follow whatever that Tsukishima punk says and truthfully speaking, that fucktard hates everybody. Asahi-san. He's just too coward to have the kind of courage to hate someone. I can feel how they all avoiding me through their footsteps. And please don't say that the second years likes me. They detest my existence don't they?"
Still no words.
So she continues.
"I don't belong here, Nishinoya. No on-"
"How can you say that without even trying?", his voice comes suddenly, angry and hurt. Makes her wonder why such a feeling can exist inside of him. Yuu is bright, and full of happiness, that was what Enoshita said. That how she imagines the libero. Bright and full of happiness. Not like a sun that her classmate was referring to but a star in the middle of the night, famous for its light and exist for people's happiness, "Even though you didn't even try", he goes on, "Not even once. How the fuck are you going to know if you don't even try huh?! What was that you did during the match?! We listened to you, your plan. We accepted you. We reached out to you. You don't have the right to deny our effort like this!"
"I don't trust you guys", Daichi mutters.
A sound of disappointment from the boy. He's hurt. Because of her. "That's why I'm asking you now why are you not trusting us?!", Yuu shouts, "We're not superhuman! We can't read your mind so if you don't talk, how the fuck are we going to understand?!"
"I'm NOT asking you to understand!", the girl screams, "And you have no right to demand my answer either! I don't go throwing my story to people faces! I don't go 'Hey I'm blind! Let's be friends!' with everyone I met because you know why?! I'm a nuisance. People see me as a weak link that need to be severed!"
"You think I'm running away?! NO!", Daichi feels her eyes starting to tear up and she stop, heavily breathes in for one second, trying to calm her nerves. "Every day is a struggle just because I am different. They set up a whole special speaking test for me. There are people bringing food to my mouth. And the only thing I can do is accept them. Even when sometimes those food has already passed the usage and I ended up going to the hospital for a stomach check. You call that bully? No. That's the type of kindness that is so sick and twisted that it become poisonously sweet, Nishinoya. Because I am what I am. Everything I did to fit in ends up singling me out. If that's how I'm accepted by other people, how Nishinoya, should I feel when you guys accept me?"
"Chicchan, we're no-"
"Nishinoya-san. It's time to g-Oh, am I interrupting something?", Tobio's call snaps Daichi awake from her rage and she hurries away from the first-year and Yuu. The others must have gotten worried and sent him to look for them.
Passing the kid with a "Let's go", the girl bites her lips and agonizingly breathes out. Everything just exploded, she just exploded. And what she said can't ever be taken back. She made a huge mistake yelling at Yuu (sadly, the regret only comes after when the deed is done). She knows he doesn't seem to be the type to hurt her, none of the Karasuno member is, but she just can't help the insecure growing inside of her days after days.
Daichi shuffles her hair, angrily.
Inter high starts only in a little bit more than a month and what is she doing arguing with the team's libero? At Nekoma high even?!
She fucked up. That much she knows.
Waving off Sugawara's hand, she settles herself standing behind the blond coach. Just one Shinkansen trip and they'll be home. Daichi misses her bed, misses the feeling of being able to get away from everything that stresses her out with the softness and warmth of her blanket.
The girl smiles, sad and tired.
She doesn't want to give up. She still wants to fight.
But from how Yuu reacted today, is it even worth it?
Is everything she is doing has a worth?
Ukai's words escape her ears as Daichi keeps herself closer and closer to the man's shadow from the dusk. Everything seems blurry to her. Everything but, and she is sure, the intense look from Yuu that doesn't require sight to acknowledge.