Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Special thanks to 01Trycia-chan01 for being my brainstorming partner for the chapter!
This stuff is long over due... BUT:
Thanks to Pasta-Survivor, animegirl17671, Hunter Shippuden, Annika Rajani for favorites.
One would never realize how much of a womanizer Uchiha Itachi truly was until one telling almost fifty different women with legitimate claims that Itachi was their ex-boyfriend, and a few who didn't, that 'Itachi-kun' was never going to reconsider dating them again. It was also then that one had better learn to run fast in a floor length dress and three inch high heels... I doubt that even Sasuke had had as many girlfriends as his older brother, and he had one every three months! I was torn between joining the ex-girlfriends in their hope to gain Itachi's attention, and strangling my boss for putting me in this position. Especially since I knew each and every one of them personally, having been the one who broke the news that Itachi was ending his relationship with them and let them cry on my shoulder. I had seen more tears doing my job as a loyal assistant than a funeral director would see in his entire career.
Mika, the current vying ex, twirled the stem of her champagne glass in what she thought was a sexy manner, "So... Itachi-kun... you're still the head of the Uchiha Corporation... I always wanted to work there. Don't you have a job for me?" Mika asked coyly. It was obvious what she actually meant, as was it obvious from Itachi's stance that he wasn't buying it. I mentally rolled my eyes from where I stood at Itachi's right side, wondering- yet again- where on earth did my boss find these sluts to date. Itachi glanced down at me and I took it as my cue to step forward and start off with the spiel, "Forgive me, Mika-san," It pained me to add the honorific, "But there are currently no vacant occupations at Uchiha Corp. Should one open up then you have the freedom to submit an appli-"
Mika cut me off blatantly, "So... Itachi-kun... can I have Ichigo's job? I'm sure I'll be much better at it." My polite expression slid off as I stared at her flatly at her, did she just imply what I thought she did? Itachi stayed impassive, his courteous nature was the only thing keeping him there. Mika stood there for a minute, twirling her champagne glass and fluttering her eyelashes, before she realized that he wasn't going to answer her. She sidled up a bit closer, "So... Itachi-kun..." Seriously, could she not start a sentence differently?! "How about it, hmm...? Give me Ichigo's job, and I'll be sure to give you a wonderful time... All those late nights at the office... working... together." I was starting to feel queasy. Of all the women so far, Mika was the worst. Itachi finally looked at her, but just as he opened his mouth to answer, there came a squeal to Itachi's left, "ITACHI-KUN! I've missed you sooooooooo much!" And that was when the next ex-girlfriend, a girl by the name of Yasashii, rammed right into Mika, who was still twirling that damned champagne flute.
Which, in turn, was spilled all down the front of my dress.
Everyone went silent as heads turned in our direction, it never would fail to amaze me how a catastrophe would not go amiss. I let out a strangled gasp as my body tried to bend away from the chilled fabric, but the dress was so form fitting, on top of being wet, that the dress stayed glued to my chest. Itachi immediately unbuttoned his suit jacket and placed it gently over my shoulders, I grabbed the lapels and tugged the jacket closed to hide my stained and now-sheer dress, "Come on..." My boss said quietly as he steered me away from the two surprised exes. There was a collective sound of squeals as all Itachi's ex-girlfriends, minus Mika, used their champagne to pour it all over their dressed in hopes that maybe Itachi would show them the same kind of attention he was giving me. Had I not been shivering from the icy drink sinking into my dress and skin, I would have rolled my eyes at their stupidity.
Shisui, who had arrived sometime while I was off saving Itachi from his personal hell, paused in trying to give Sasuke a noogie when Itachi brought me back to our group, "What happened?" The goofy chief of police asked, not letting up on his loose choke-hold over his younger cousin. Everyone else seemed to have the same question shining in their eyes as well. Itachi answered for me, "Someone spilled champagne on her. Ino, will you get her cleaned up?" The blonde model blinked, as if surprised that Itachi even knew she existed, "Uh... why me?" She asked, pointing to herself cautiously as if it were a joke. Itachi shot her an irritated look, "You're a model aren't you? Do you not have a team waiting to keep you looking fresh?" He asked. Ino flipped open her phone to make the call.
Kasumi skipped forward then, a white china plate filled with nothing but sweets in her hand. She gasped and shoved the plate at her boyfriend when she saw me. "Oh you poor poor dear! Who did this to you? Was it Itachi? Don't tell me it was Itachi! ITACHI HOW DARE YOU!" Itachi's left eye gave an almost invisible twitch. Sasuke was the one who spoke, "Kasumi, stop jumping to conclusions." He said, not even bothering to let up on glaring at Shisui, who was shoving a bite of cake in his mouth, completely ignoring his cousin. Ino came forward, "Come on Ichigo, we'll go hide out in the bathroom until my team gets here with a new dress for you." She said and extracted me from Itachi. "Be sure to have her ready by the Joushi-joshu Dance." My boss informed the model. Kasumi turned as saluted Itachi mockingly, "Aye aye, Cap'n!" She chirped before following Ino and me, dragging a poor confused Sakura with her.
vvv Itachi's POV vvv
I immediately regretted my words when Sasuke and Shisui shot me smirks, "What's this Itachi...? You've never ever danced the Joushi-joshu Dance with Ichigo before." Shisui teased. I looked back at him impassively, "It is the least I could do, it was one of my ex-girlfriends who spilled her champagne on Ichigo." Sasuke's smirk grew wider, "And just what provoked her to do this?" He asked slyly. I shot my younger brother a look, "Another ex ran into her." I said flatly. Shisui burst out laughing, "Sometimes Itachi, I think you're worse than our little Sasuke." Sasuke glared at Shisui, "I'm not little!" He snapped. I allowed a small smirk to push up the corners of my mouth, "What's going on with you and Sakura?" I asked calmly. Sasuke actually stuttered, "I-I don't know what your talking about..."
Shisui and I shared knowing smiles.
vvv Ichigo's POV vvv
"So what's this Joushi-joshu dance thing Itachi-sama was talking about?" Sakura asked from her seat on the kitchen sinks. Ino looked up from dabbing at my dress with one of those fluffy towels fancy hotels had in place of regular paper napkins, "Oh it's the height of the night. I'm surprised Itachi-sama is going to dance with you, Ichigo... have something to tell us?" She asked slyly, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I glared at her and snatched the towel from her, "I don't know why he did it." I snapped. Kasumi giggled, "Awwww... I can't wait to tell Shisui-koi that you and Itachi are an item now!" She cooed, her eyes closed tightly from her bright smile. Sakura's eyes widened, "Wait... does this dance mean-" I cut her off before she could finish, "No." Ino grinned and told Sakura, "The Joushi-joshu dance is when it is publicly acceptable for a employer to dance with his or her employee. About ninety percent of the time relationships start during the dance. To be asked by your boss is a big big deal. Especially when your boss happens to be the CEO of Uchiha Corp." The blonde model ended with a smirk in my direction. I crossed my arms and glared back.
"No." I growled, my arms crossed over my chest stubbornly. Ino, Kasumi and Sakura leaned in, their expressions equally as stubborn, "Yes." They all snapped back in unison, it was kinda creepy. I glared, "When Itachi-san asked for another dress, I'm sure he didn't mean that!" I snapped, waving my hand at the thing draped over Ino's arms. Ino tapped her foot, "You're wearing it, Ichigo." Before I could tell her no again, Sakura piped up, "Oh come on, Ichigo! Everyone needs to have a little black dress!" Kasumi smiled with the pink haired girl, "Yeah! You can't live until your dancing in the arms of your man, the fabric of a black dress wrapping around your thighs..." I groaned and facepalmed, "Okay, one: Itachi is NOT my man. Two: You both sound like used car salesman." Ino giggled, "You're right on that, Ichigo... at least on the number two. Now put this on or so help me I'm calling Hinata and telling her to persuade you to wear it. We all know how that will turn out." I grimaced. Hinata, being pregnant, would not enjoy being called at ten at night just so that she could force me to wear a dress.
I snatched the thing from Ino, "Fine..." I growled and walked into a bathroom stall to change, but Sakura stopped me. "Oh no, this has to be perfect. Kasumi lock the door! We're going to give Ichigo a makeover!" The older woman gleefully skipped to the door and slammed it shot before throwing the deadbolt. I fearfully backed away from the three women, all three pairs of eyes suddenly getting a malicious spark in them.
"First, those glasses are gone." Ino said then my small square glasses were ripped off my nose, I squeaked, "Hey give those back!" I snapped. Ino laughed, but I couldn't see what she was doing, she was nothing but a blob with yellow hair. "You never really needed them in high school. Why now?" I glared at her blurry figure, "Because I've been spending the last seven years staying up late at night, sometimes to five in the morning, staring at a computer screen, trying to be a good assistant. Forgive me if I'm blind as a bat now!" Kasumi spoke up, "Wait... how bad is your eyesight? I have contacts that I never use, I wonder if you can wear them..." Sakura made a disgusted noise from my right, "Isn't it unsanitary to let someone else use your contacts?!" Kasumi huffed, "This is an emergency, Sakura. Would you rather have Ichigo looking like a nerd, or looking hot?" "I'd rather have my glasses back!" I snapped, though no one listened to me. Kasumi giggled, "Sorry, Ichigo, seems you lost. Here," She pressed a small case in my hand, "These are my contacts, put them in. And no arguments." Rolling my eyes I turned towards the sink and leaned in so that my nose was nearly brushing the mirror. "Wow, you really are blind if you have to be that close." Sakura commented. "Shut up." I growled back as I carefully inserted the contacts in my eyes. They still weren't nearly as good as my glasses, everything looked hazy, but at least they weren't just colorful blobs anymore.
Ino had stayed quiet until I turned around, she grinned, "Now the hair. Kasumi, that black bag that my assistant brought in, it should be full of hair and makeup stuff." Before I could run, Sakura grabbed my hair tie and whipped it off. My strawberry blonde hair fell down around my neck, it's thick waves feeling strange, I rarely had my hair down. Ino squealed, "I wish I had your hair, Ichigo! It's so thick and wavy!" I glared at the blonde, "No you don't. You don't have to battle knots and frizzy hair." I retorted. Ino just waved away my comment as she dug though the bag that Kasumi brought her. "Sakura you do her makeup while I'll do her hair. Kasumi, you're in charge of nails. Chop chop!" Immediately all three girls pounced and I underwent the most extreme makeover I had ever experienced, and probably ever would.
In a record breaking thirty minutes later, I stood blinking at the girl in the mirror. She didn't look like me, that girl looked nothing like me... but she was me. My strawberry blonde hair had been curled and left to drape around my bare shoulders. A black satin ribbon rested against my throat, suspended from it was a single ivory sphere hanging just below my collarbone. The dress, which had looked very slutty on the hanger, melded to my torso like a soft second skin, showing off the curves I tried so hard to hide, before draping down to just above my knees in a light flowing skirt. The smokey eyeshadow made my deep blue eyes shine even brighter, framed by luscious eyelashes. I blinked again and the girl in the mirror blinked with me. I shot a nasty look to the three gushing idiots behind me, "I am not going out here like this." I told them firmly. Kasumi's smile turned dark, "Yes you will..." She said and with that she grabbed me by my arm and quite literally threw me out of the bathroom before slamming the door shut again, locking me out of my refuge.
'Joushi-joshu' literally means boss-assistant.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm a little evil yes? Hmmmm... what will be the Uchiha's reaction? XD
Flame Friendly! ...though I seriously doubt you will do it.