Felicity and Noel woke up tangled in each others arms under a blanket on the floor of her apartment in the morning. All Felicity could feel was his warm skin next to hers and it just made her want to nuzzle into him even more. As she did that Noel woke up groggily and hugged her even tighter. He let out a little groan of happiness and then moved her curly hair away from her shoulder so he could gently kiss it.
"Good morning," he said a little groggy since he had just woken up.
"Yes it is," she said turning towards him but not leaving his arms.
"I was afraid when I woke up that this all would have been a dream. I've dreamt about it so many times but I never imagined it would have happened. Can we stay right here forever?"
"I wish," she smiled and kissed him on the lips, "but we can for like another hour."
For another couple hours they lay in each others arms and talked until they just absolutely had to get up. It was a late Saturday morning. Felicity still had to get her apartment together and the movers would be there in another hour or so. Noel had the day with his daughter and didn't want to be late.
"You can take a shower first, I know you need to get going," Felicity said as the got up and started putting some clothes on.
"Alright," he said heading off to the bathroom. As he started taking a shower Felicity went in to brush her teeth.
"Hey, can you come here for a second?" Noel asked from inside the shower.
"Why?" Felicity giggled.
"Because I have to ask you something," he said his face sticking out of the shower curtain all wet and sudsy.
Felicity walked over to him knowing he was up to no good.
"What?" she said as she stood in front of the shower. Noel then took her hand and pulled her into the shower in her t-shirt and underwear. She screamed for a moment and then started laughing like crazy. Felicity calmed down when Noel started taking her drenched shirt off and kissing every inch of her wet skin. Then he got down on his knees and pulled off her underwear. He kissed up her legs, to her stomach and then her lips all while the water poured down their skin. Felicity closed her eyes and leaned her face up so the water hit her face while she simply enjoyed everything he did to her.
After about an hour they finally finished the shower and there was no more hot water left either. Noel got dressed very quickly and ran out of there to pick up Casey which he'd probably just make it in time for. Of course he didn't leave without giving her another passionate kiss just before he headed out the door.
When Noel left Felicity put on her running pants and a t-shirt and just sat on her couch with a cup of coffee. She felt so happy that she wanted to scream out the window that she was madly and hopelessly in love. Just thinking about Noel brought a huge grin to her face and sometimes a giggle too. She also took in her apartment. As she looked around she figured out where she wanted everything to go. She then started walking around feeling the place out. Her very own apartment, she could hardly believe this was all happening to her, finally. As she walked into her second room all she could imagine was it as a nursery. She desperately wanted to have a child but she knew it would be a long way off before she could have one. I mean she was in the middle of her first divorce and just started a brand new relationship. She leaned again the doorway and smiled as she imagined how the room would look one day.
Later that day Elena came over to help her unpack and get everything where she wanted it to be. Right when Elena walked in she immediately went to the refrigerator for a coke, hopped up on the counter and asked the inevitable question.
"So did you and Noel bang yet or what?" Elena asked bluntly as always.
"Elena, that's private," she said with a grin.
"It's about time. We've all been waiting. Megean had a pool going," Elena said taking a sip of her coke.
"Oh my god!" Felicity said running her fingers through her long curls, "you know…you'd think we'd all grow up when we were all settling down and everything but you guys are just the same." She says laughing.
"Seriously Felicity, what's going on?" Elena said sympathetically.
Felicity took a breath and leaned against the counter.
"I don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life…" Felicity said choked up a little.
"So all this time you never even loved Ben? All this time you loved Noel but pushed him away for Ben?" she said confused.
"I know," she laughed, "it makes zero sense." She continued to laugh as she put her face in her hands.
"You know you're crazy right?" Elena said laughing with her.
"I know! Neither of us are even divorced. Why would after all this it end up like this?"
"So seriously…what was all those years with Ben if in the end you really wanted Noel?"
Felicity walked over to the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. She then rested her chin on her knees.
"I think I've always loved both of them but in completely different ways. I liked being with Ben when I was younger because I never really knew what was going to happen next. It's just eventually everything just wore off…I thought he was the guy I was meant to be with. With Noel I always thought I was just too comfortable with him but it's so much more than that. I finally realized what it feels like to have your best friend be your soul mate."
"So you sure this time?" Elena said sitting beside her.
"I've never been so sure about anything in my entire life," Felicity said with a huge uncomplicated smile.
After a few weeks went by Felicity and Noel tried to figure out where things were going. They knew they wanted to be together but Noel's divorce was really getting in the way. They didn't want to confuse Casey or upset Zoë. So for a while they kept it really casual which was fine since life was just crazy at the moment anyway. On the occasion Noel slept over at Felicity's place but they had to make sure it wasn't a weekend he got Casey and that Zoë wouldn't find out. In general though things seemed pretty good to Felicity. Finally she was in a place that she felt she was meant to be. That was until Noel asked her to meet him for dinner.
They met at a restaurant down the street from her work. She met him there right after work so she was still in her scrubs. When she got there he seemed a little weird and she knew something was wrong. He gave her a quick hug and they then ordered drinks.
"What's wrong babe?" Felicity said touching his hand but he reacted in a off manor. She could feel him pulling away.
"I don't know how to say this," Noel said.
"Then just say it," she said going on the defensive. This was just great, just when she realizes where she wants her life to go he pulls away from her. Could she just not win ever?
"Zoë wants full custody…" he said trailing off.
"What? She can't do that!" Felicity said furiously.
"Apparently she's got a pretty good case since she's her mother and they always favor the mother. Also she's been doing really well on her medication," he said taking a sip of his beer.
"Well why is she doing this?"
"…because she knows that you and I are together. She says as long as I am with you that I cannot have shared custody," he said really upset.
"Noel…we'll beat this. We can do anything together," Felicity said trying to take his hand again and he accepted it warmly.
"You know…I never thought I'd really get this chance with you. I never thought you'd feel the same way about me as I have always felt about you," he said smiling into her eyes. She was tearing up.
"I can't believe all the time I've missed with you, you are the most amazing guy I've ever known," Felicity said bringing his hands to her lips and kissing them gently.
As a tear rolled down Noel's cheek he suddenly pulled away from her.
"There are a lot of times that I thought were the hardest things I ever had to go through. Like the time you left me at the airport to go off with Ben. Or the time I found Zoe in the bathroom with her wrists slit. Or the day I had to go to your and Ben's wedding. But this is the hardest thing ever…I can't see you anymore," he said obviously holding back the tears.
"But Noel," Felicity said but he had left. Just as he walked out the door she suddenly felt sick and ran to the bathroom to throw up. She then sat on the floor of the bathroom for a moment as she cried. How many chances could 2 people have to be together?
Felicity called into work the next day and the day after that. She'd felt really sick. Megean came over to see if she was okay.
"I brought something that I think will help," she said holding a pharmacy bag.
"What?" Felicity said groggily under blankets on the couch.
"Here," she said handing her the bag.
Felicity opened the bag and found a pregnancy test.
"Megean, it's not funny," Felicity said looking up at her.
"Actually it is pretty funny," Megean said with a chuckle, "but seriously. You've been throwing up for days now."
"I just want to be alone right now," Felicity said pulling up the blankets.
"We aren't in college anymore. There isn't time for worrying or being upset. I have to pick up Mark from soccer practice," she said.
Felicity looked at her with an almost smile.
"Yeah yeah, I know. I never thought I'd say those words either," Megean said as they both laughed."
A short time later Felicity picked up the test in her hand looking at the results. She sat back down on the toilet with a thud putting her hand to her mouth. Megean couldn't quite tell at first if Felicity was happy or upset. When Felicity looked up at her it was no doubt that Felicity was pregnant. Felicity did look a mixture of ecstatic and miserable. Megean got down on her knees in front of Felicity and wrapped her arms around her. Felicity from there cried.
All through the pregnancy Felicity struggled with whether or not she should tell Noel. In her heart she knew that she should tell him. She desperately loved him and wanted to share her joy with him but she just couldn't bare to add any more chaos to his life. Zoe hearing that she was pregnant wouldn't help Noel's case in the divorce. So for the entire pregnancy Felicity just absorbed the love of the child she and Noel had created. She could already feel that the baby was extremely warm and loving. Felicity barely had any pains or morning sickness. Though the sickness of lying to Noel was enough to drive her crazy anyway.
So many times she wanted to pick up the phone and call him. She thinks he even had tried calling her a couple times because she got a hang up on her answering machine. All of her friends kept the pregnancy a secret from Noel, which wasn't so hard. Noel was as overwhelmed as she expected him to be. She asked about him often and how it was all going. They kept saying it was nearing the end but from what she could tell it wasn't ending. Once the divorce was final she figured she'd tell him, whether or not they got back together. She knew they'd both love this child with their full hearts.
One night when Felicity was just sitting around waiting to go into labor she decided to take a stroll through the nearby park on that warm May evening. As she walked she took in every sense because she could feel everything so strong. The slight breeze tingled her skin. The stars were shining so strong that they almost were stinging her eyes. She talked to the baby, which she had decided not to know the sex of the baby. She tried to get the baby to respond with a kick but it didn't. She could sometimes feel the baby move but it never emphatically let itself know it knew she was there.
Felicity stopped in the middle of a small bridge that looked over the river. She leaned over and looked at the water that sparkled so brightly she almost wanted to cry. She just missed Noel so much, more every day. Just then she heard her name called…it was Noel coming towards her.
"Noel?" Felicity said but didn't move. She didn't want him to see her stomach. She knew he'd be so hurt.
"I have been looking for you all night," he said a little out of breath and apparently not noticing her size just yet.
"You have?" she said. It was the best thing she'd heard in ages.
"Before you say anything I want to say that the divorce is finally over. To make things even better I got shared custody with Casey…" he said with the biggest smile.
"That's wonderful Noel," she said touching her stomach slightly.
"Oh and get this. Zoe is dating someone!" he said excited.
"You're kidding!" she said surprised.
"Yeah I was shocked too…she's doing so well. We had dinner a couple days ago and she told me how happy she was. How sorry she was for everything that she put us through and that she knew how much I loved you…" he said as he looked down to the ground.
"Are you ok?" she asked wanting to hug him but she could tell he wasn't finished.
"No, I'm not," he paused, "I haven't been myself since I had to stop seeing you. What was even worse than the fact that we had to stop dating was that I lost you as a friend all this time. I've tried to ask about you to Megean and Elena but nobody would ever really tell me anything. I figured you hated. Then I told Megean about all my news and she told me to find you," he said and then he turned her towards him and suddenly noticed she was pregnant.
"Oh god, Noel. Let me explain," she said grasping for words…any words. She couldn't seem to find any.
"Wow, um…is it mine?" he asked obviously with a lack of words himself.
"Yes of course Noel," she which was what she'd been dying to say all these months.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me," he said stepping back upset, "how could you keep this from me all this time?"
"Noel, I wanted to tell you so badly but I just knew you were going through so much and I didn't know how this would ruin your chances of custody of Casey. I knew how much that meant to you…"
Noel just stood there for a moment and she just stared at him in silence. He was obviously in deep thought and confusion. Suddenly he looked at her and looked at her stomach. He gently put his hand on her belly and just then the baby kicked. Felicity let out a laugh of joy.
"Oh my god!" she started to cry, "I've been waiting for the baby to kick all these months."
"I can't believe you are having my baby," he said about to cry himself.
"Me neither," she said as he wiped away a tear falling down her cheek.
"Felicity, all this tells me that Fate is making damn sure that we end up together. I wondered for a while if it was meant to be but this tells me it's definitely true. I had come here to ask you something…" he said his eyes melting into hers.
He then got down on one knee and took her hand.
"Felicity, I've never met anyone on this earth like you. You've given me every emotion that is humanly possible. You've broken my heart but also kept it alive all these years. I knew the moment I met you I wanted to wake up to you in my arms for the rest of my life…" he said getting choked up. She could feel his hands shaking.
"Noel it's ok," she smiled and took his hands in hers.
"Felicity…" he said when just then her water broke.
"Shit!" Felicity screamed.
"What?" Noel said confused.
"I'm going into labor!"