Disclaimer: Do I look like I own Naruto? Oh! And I don't own any of the songs either!
I rolled over the next day and opened my prank book to today's plans.
Prank Xd5: Annoy all Akatsuki by assigning them a theme song. Sing it when ever they walk in the room.
Akatsuki Theme Song: Smooth Criminal
Itachi: Mr. Grinch
Deidara: Barbie Girl
Sasori: I've Got No Stings on Me
Hidan: Amazing Grace
Tobi: None. Teach him songs to annoy people!
Kisame: Life Under the Sea
Pein: Darth Vadar tune
Kazuku: I want to be a Millionaire
I smiled as I tucked the notebook under my arm and left the room. Things were about to get good.
My first chance came suprisingly easy as I passed Itachi and Angel in the hall. I grinned and started to sing:
"You're a mean one Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus..."
That was as far as I got before two kunai came flying at me. I ducked away, I had dodged Deidara's bombs ever since we were genin, and ran down the hallway laughing at the top of my lungs. I turned a corner and ran straight into Hidan, who glared at me then sighed, "Now who did you mess with, bitch?" I sang my answer,
How sweet the sound
That saved a retch like me
I once was lost
But now I am found,
Was blind, but now
Hidan shouted and grabbed me by the neck, pressing me against the wall, my feet dangling from the ground. He shoved his face in mine, "I swear, bitch, if you ever sing that f***ing song near me again, I'll cut your head off and offer you to Jashin." I managed to strangle out the second stanza:
"Twas Grace that taught
My heart to live.
And Grace I've been set free
How precious did
that Grace appeared
The hour I was in need."
The Jashinist slammed my head against the wall and my vision flickered out briefly. I gasped, suddenly trying to fight to stay conscience. I could hear Hidan hiss, "I dare you to keep singing. Let's see how you can sing without your head." I smiled grimly at him and rammed my foot between his legs, dropping him like a sack of dirt. While he laid prone of the ground I skipped away, still singing.
I had stopped by Kisame's room to serenade him as well and ran out before he could cut my head off like Hidan threated. He almost succeeded too, leaving a giant slash in the wall where my neck should have been had I not ducked at the right moment. Three down five to go. I found Tobi trying to beg Konan for some of her chocolate, and decided to send him off inseatd of risking my life for my next target. The blue haired woman shoved him away, "If Jissai goes even crazier than you do over this stuff, why in the world would I give a crumb to you?!" She snapped, then glanced up to see me smiling in the doorway.
"Oh no. If you think I'm letting you within ten feet of my chocolate, you're nuts." Konan warned, holding the chocolate away from me. Tobi crossed his arms and sat down on the ground like a spoiled child. I laughed, "No, I actually needed Tobi. I was going to teach him a song." Tobi, who had yet to get over the chocolate fiasco, shivered, "Tobi got hurt last time Jissai-chan taught Tobi a song." I gave him a stern look, "But to be a good boy, you have to follow my orders." "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Konan sighed and sat down at the table, her cheek in her hand as she watched me carefully teach Tobi the song.
After he ran out, singing at the top of his lungs to find Deidara, Konan commented, "You know, he's is going to kill you now." I smiled, "That's the plan." We talked a few more minutes until I heard Deidara thunder, "JISSAIIIIIII!" I giggled, "Uh oh, sounds like Mr. Grumpy Bear is angry." I said in a squeaky voice that made Konan laugh. Deidara stormed into the room, glaring at me, dragging a very scared Tobi behind him. Most of the Akatsuki followed, knowing that we were going to fight again and that was very entertaining to them.
I smiled innocently and asked, "Yes?" Deidara shoved poor Tobi towards me, "Did you teach him 'Barbie Girl' to annoy me, un?" I pretended to pick at my fingernails, "Well since you don't like live concerts, I thought I'd surprise you." Most of the Akatsuki snickered. Deidara growled, "I told you, if you bothered me, I'd bother you, yeah." I huffed, "Really Deidara, just because you were my friend when we were younger doesn't give you special treatment." The blond ignored me and pulled out that retched scroll, "Jissy used to think that rain was the clouds crying." I glared at him, my cheeks burning, as everyone else, including the stoic zombies, laughed.
"Deidara! Give me that!" I lunged for the scroll, my fingers brushing against it as he jerked it above his head, out of my reach. I jumped up on him, wrapping my legs around his waist and reaching for the scroll, I could only reach his wrist. Growling curses I dug my fingernails into his skin, making him yelp, "Get off me before I shove a bomb down your throat, un!" He shouted, struggling to push me off him. "Oooooo kinky." Hidan sneered. We both froze then turned our glares on the Jashinist, he actually shivered. Soon we were tripping over ourselves trying to kill Hidan, while the rest of the organization laughed.
XD Not really fluffy, but this is supposed to be more humor than romantic, so I'm sure you understand. Don't worry, more fluffies will come!