Packing: Not Alone
Every time I hear Cro's warm voice something stirs inside me, something yelling at me that it's wrong and that he should be spending his time enjoying himself and not having to take care about me.
I'm beginning to think the problem is somewhere completely different. It's difficult to believe that I faced gods, evil tyrants, avatars of immeasurable power and yet I'm still terrified of talking to Cro just on the off chance I say something that will drive him away which, in turn, screws me over anyway.
The thing is that I'm nopony special and that he can easily find somepony better but it is me who needs him. I must do something for him, if not to keep him happy then just to help myself not feel so... worthless. Maybe, just maybe, it would help to think about this simply as of an another battle. Who is the enemy though?
No... the answer is simple. It's been the same since I left home over four years ago. I am my worst enemy and my fear is the only threat I'm facing right now. Too bad it's the only foe I have never managed to beat.
Hmmm, that doesn't seem correct. My special talent has always been analysis and right now I think I'm wrong. I've been terrified every day of my life but that has never stopped me from moving on, although quite often it was in the wrong direction. Did I really believe there was a little glimmer of hope somewhere at the end?
Hope and Despair, black and white circles, two minds in one body, fire and frost, rebirth and true death...
...not death, that's not the opposite. The right answer is the lack of any possibility of new life. It's rebirth and something I can't quite tell yet because the magic of Life negated Void's true death without being spent.
I'm starting to think Void was wrong about me being a possible ascendant into the alicorn of Death's position.
I might be onto something here.
I blink. The darkness in the apartment tells me it's too early to be awake and neither me nor Mistake are early-rising creatures, at least normally. Lying on my back, I turn my head just to see the black silouhette of the unicorn sitting still on the small bed and breathing quickly. Sitting up as well, I put my arm on his shoulder.
"Aaah!" is a weak squeal following the gesture and him twitching away at first. When his breathing slows down almost instantly he turns to me, "Sorry. Did I wake you up?"
"Probably," I shrug, "No big deal. What's bothering you?"
That's a safe guess. There's always something gnawing at him from the inside. What I wasn't expecting is the small and weary smile and a sigh.
"Just... just another panic attack. You know how it is - wake up, have no idea where you are, see nothing, hear snoring-"
I feel like one very important issue needs to be addressed right here and now.
"I don't snore!"
He giggles like a chime in the wind and once again I realize how much I love the... duality of this unicorn - how he's grateful for what little attention somepony gives him, repaying it thousandfold, and how dark he can be, revealing wisdom gained from the insane events he's gone through.
I mean everypony must have hazarded a guess when they saw us walking home yesterday - a tall, white griffon leading a much smaller black unicorn wearing pink socks on a leash - but it's not like that. I don't just want to tie him up and ravage that tight, trained behind of his until he remembers nothing but my name... no, I want so much more. I want to be with him, to hear his soft snicker when I'm being stupid, to hold him against my chest when he turns on himself again, and to have him do something downright dangerous when I need it.
All that happened.
"No, you actually don't," he comments, turns to me, and taps his hoof few times on the bed until he touches me, "Damn, thanks for being so patient with me. I know I'm difficult to be around."
Yep! But I'll reassure you as many times as you need it.
"No biggie, as long as I can watch you shower."
"You want some of this, eh?" he runs his hoof from his neck down, leading my stare with it. It's not like I can see anything in the morning gloom but that doesn't stop my imagination whatsoever.
I do! Can I have seconds after?
Not waiting for an answer, Mistake stands up above me, carefully moving his legs so he doesn't step anywhere sensitive, and then slowly lowers himself to let his entire body rub my chest, belly, and lower...
"What's gotten into you, buddy?" I stifle a moan, "Not that I'm complaining but you've never been this... forward... and downward."
He stops, crossing his front legs on my chest and propping his muzzle on them. I regret not feeling him rubbing over me anymore but being still like this means I can pull a blanket over us and let our bodies meld into one warm, fuzzy blob.
"I just wanted to repay you all you're doing for me. I had no idea how since I didn't have any money to get you something you'd like and then you said... you know what and I thought it might not be a bad idea to try stuff out."
That's not really the right motivation but I'll take it.
"Buddy, when I take you out to Cromach bangstravaganza you 'owing' me anything will be the last thing on my mind. I know it's hard for you to understand but I love you and relationship isn't a balanced checkbook."
"Bangstr- Heavens protect me! Sorry, Cro. I just really want to do something for you."
"Well, not this, at least not like this. Darky said you're pretty good at massages though."
"The wilder sort but not the happy ending sort."
"Ooooh! Well, I can't promise anything since I can't see much but I'll give it a shot. Just kick me if I'm doing something wrong," he chuckles nervously, "Do you want front or back first?"
"Front. That way I can look at your cute face- OH COME ON! You can't be blushing NOW when a moment ago you were rubbing your whatsowhat against mine!"
"Compliments," he groans, "Not good with them."
"Better get used to it cause you're getting much mo-oooooooh."
My world melts when he digs his hooves into my chest. With his expertise in martial arts and muscle movements he doesn't need eyes at all. Thank Emperor he doesn't mind me being way too obviously aroused beyond belief.
"EEP!" I can't believe how high-pitched my sqeak is as he bites my inner thigh.
"Heh heh heh..."
I just close my eyes and let him do his job. He might not be able to be a guard anymore but with a little of official training he'll be an epic masseuse. The hooves digging into every muscle aching after Heavy's training, the muzzle adding the soft touch that makes me shiver, the way his toned body slides over mine, the tentacles slithering over my neck...
Open one eye. Nothing, the massage continues.
Open the other. Mistake is still working his hooves all over my chest like a cat trying to sleep.
Don't panic! It's weird but not threatening, at least for now.
It takes me few seconds to identify what I'm seeing. Mistake is still there, the black unicorn kneading my muscles into submission. With how tense I'm right now he must really be sweating and panting. Speaking of panting, few strange black-blue tentacles are coming from the open mouth and wriggling through the feathers on my neck. Funnily enough, that's not the scary part, although definitely the creepy one.
Okay... it's just his magic acting up for some reason. No big deal, no body snatcher trying to eat my brain. Still, the sweet, gloomy unicorn, not some eldrich abomination out of the darkest depths of the sea. His blackfrost wings are showing, spread above us and glimmering in the dim light coming through the window curtain. It looks strange, the feathers made of blue-tipped black ice adorning a unicorn seemingly unaware of their presence, like something watching both of us.
It might not be the smartest idea but I tug at one of the tentacles coming from Mistake's mouth. It coils around my claws rather cutely.
"Hey! Stop pulling my tongue-"
"-or horn? What are you doing, Cro?"
"Wanna try a third time?" I tug at the second tentacle.
"How are you doing that and what 'that' is?" he asks and his wings creak menacingly.
"Well, no matter how confused you are right now it has nothing on me almost crapping myself when I opened my eyes so give me a second to breathe. Horn you said?" I tug on one mouth tentacle again and rub his horn at the same time.
"Haaaah, n-n-n-no," his wings silently shatter and each little ice shard disperses into steam, "P-p-please don't do that again, whatever it was... at least not without some warning first."
"Sorry. Did it hurt?"
"N-not e-e-exactly," he nervously taps his hooves on my chest. I've never seen him this shaken, "Sort of strange... as if you were, well, rubbing me from the inside."
My fantasies right now could fill a moderately long perverted book... with drawings... and author notes and my grin would make a cheshire cat go 'nope, too much for me'.
"Cool, cool... so what do we do about the tentacles coming from your mouth?-"
He tilts his head and blinks, a strange gesture from a blind pony.
"-Perhaps a pretty cool blowj-OW!" a free tentacle slaps me, "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" he furrows his brows and like a noodle being sucked in one tentacle retracts. All aside from the one I'm holding in my claws follow, "Weird, tastes like lemon popsicle."
Fantasy number one - engage!
Coiling my tongue around the tendril, I suck hard on it.
"Yeah, it does."
"HEY! That's my... something you're doing whatever you're doing to."
"Very descriptive. Let's be serious for a second, buddy. Any ideas?"
"I'm blind, I'm a unicorn who can't use any spells aside from some weird power that only the alicorn of Death recognized, and right now I feel like I have five tongues beginning in my horn and coming out of my mouth. Set me on fire, please! I promise not to come back this time," he chuckles nervously but I can hear the touch of panic in the voice.
"I've got a better one," I stop playing with the last tendril and Mistake sucks it in to my slight dismay, "We go back to sleep, think about it in the daylight-"
"Very useful, Cro, very useful," he pouts, rolling his eyes.
"-Quiet, you, or next time I'll tie you to the table! We calm down, don't tell anyone, and I'll stop myself from imagining all the possible places those things can fit."
"Aaaah... I'm glad you're here, Cro. I'd be cowering in the corner if you weren't, or something worse."
"Do you have any idea how bored I would be if I didn't have my hands full with cheering you up? A griffon can only handle so much free time."
"Dumbass," he grins, "Look what I can do now!-"
Two tendrils return, each one curling down from one side of his muzzle.
"-I've got a moustache."
I pull the idiot down to my embrace and draw the blanket over us, something I do every night and wouldn't trade for the world.
"Shut up, pillow!"
"I like pillows," he mumbles, spooned by me, "Being a pillow is nice."
I'm out like a light even before his breathing slows down.