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Does This Darkness Have a Name?

By Epicalovelies

Drama / Thriller

Worst Date Ever

Emma

My fake smile all throughout the night was starting to hurt my face. But it shouldn't have been, should it?

I had everything I could have ever wanted. I was sitting there, a nineteen-year-old girl, in Paris, France, in a restaurant right next to the Eiffel Tower in front of my former boyfriend Ashton Dove.

Yet somehow the whole thing seemed odd.

My long billowy blond hair dazzled down on my sparkly silver dress, while my make-up was perfectly lightening my eyes. Ash was hot as ever, yet we both just sat there.

On my senior year, my family and I had decided we would travel the world together. In fact we had traveled to the States, France, Germany, Switzerland, Scotland, Egypt, New Zealand, and even some town in Toronto, Canada, when we were waiting to see Niagara Falls. But throughout this worldly exploration, I had been forced to leave my two best friends, and Ash behind.

Now, Ash had randomly piped up onto Facebook and told me (two years after I moved away) that he was going to be in France and would love to see me.

The only thing I hadn't told him was that I had a new boyfriend, along with a suite now residing in one of the best French Hotels, two Twins that relied on my every move, and all the food I could ask for.

"So, Ash, I hear you got accepted into UOS! That must be exciting! Its marked one of the best schools in the country!" I chattered away while casually sipping my Shirley Temple.

"Um, yeah, its great. I start in a few months." He answered numbly. "But…I'm sure that's nothing compared to what you've been up to." He stared at me, with an anguishing bitter face, almost angry, if not hurt.

"Um…" was my intelligent response.

"I don't know if I'm up for College yet. I've just been studying at all these magnificent places. I used to believe that College and education was the number one thing, but now, I just…dunno. I think knowledge is more important than anything."

I sighed, waiting for applause at my brave statement.

All that happened was the waiter came up and asked both of us if we needed refills in his French accent, which I had been strangely becoming accustomed to.

"Oh yeah, I don't think too many colleges would be too happy to take in a girl that's been in one of the number one visited porn sites." Ash bit his lip. My eyes shuttered in confinement.

"Ash, what the hell are you talking about?" I stammered. I hated that knowing glare he was now presenting to me. He didn't know anything. I had never participated in porn.

"Oh, just the new sight called ." Now I saw the frightening hurt in his eyes, the feigning betrayal. "How could you?"

"Ash!" My eyes swamped in worry. He had to be joking.

Then the thoughts of my high and drunk one-night club crazed party, in which I had somehow wounded in a house with many naked people all lying upon each other, and how I had felt sick for days, not knowing exactly what I had done, and feeling that creepy senseless feeling inside.

"Why don't you take a look at this?" He shoved his iPhone into my face, and the video loading flooded into my view.

A blonde nude girl on top of some filthy disgusting guy, and I was fucking him. Senselessly. The worst part was the never-ending moans and high pitched enjoying shrieks.

But no, that couldn't be me. Not at all. I looked at Ash, shaking my head. Tears glistening in my eyes.

"Ash, that isn't me." I said the words, feeling the untruthable quality to them. I gulped. Finally, Ash skipped to the end where it had my name in shiny lights.

"WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK MISS EMMA GILBERT FOR PARTICIPATING IN THIS MOVIE WITH US… SEXUAL GODDESS…"

Deep spit started taking form in my mouth. My own disgustance of my actions. I wanted to puke.

Suddenly all the terrible possibilities corroded my mind. Pregnancy. AIDS. It was all possible now.

My panicked frenzy looked forth at Ash, begging him not to hate me. I knew he would already judge me. Everyone would.

"I…"

"Oh, but don't worry. I'm pretty sure there are millions of blonde Emma Gilberts in the world. So if you ever decide to apply." Ash was trying. He was clearly wanting me to think all he had left for me now was hate and bitter disgustance.

Suddenly the total unfairness of it all rushed over me. The hypocritical of my thoughts. But I was not a slut. He couldn't call me that. I was just a girl who ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time. I had only had sex two times other than that time. Ash and Maxxence. It was the last night before we left to travel the world with Ash. And then Maxxie and I had been casually doing that for the last five months.

Suddenly realization hit me. How had I become this huge of a whore. Of a spoiled rich girl. Why had I constantly been ignoring all of Cleo and Rikki's pleas for me to come and visit, and even more recently their phone calls and texts. Why, on most nights, would I sneak out to night clubs, get infamously drunk, and end up wounded sleeping on the streets, somehow sneaking back in before my parents noticed. I was ruining my life. Completely. And not one person could help me.

"Ash, I need to leave." I said, tears crumbling from my eyes. "I'm sorry." I mumble as I run through the room, eyes searching for a sanctuary to rest. But my brother is out with his girlfriend, Luna. My Mom and Dad are too busy to care nowadays. And Maxxie… he's gone away to somewhere in the UK. As well as the Twins have to meet their new step-mother tonight. Ugh.

I ramble through the room. The whole restaurant seems to hover their eyes over me; Emma Gilbert, a misguided stupid Australian slutty girl.

Suddenly I trip right in front of a Japanese family. The girl with detestable bangs scowls at me. "あなたが行くことである場合は、見守ってください bitch!"

My phone buzzes. I gulp, and take deep breathes. I shudder past the foreign girl (as well as me) and stumble into the bathroom.

I stare at my tanned face and wonder how the hell I got here; so frazzled, so scared, so alone. I finally flip my phone open to stop the repetition of 90210's opening theme.

"Hello?" I ask, trying to appear pleasant.

"Emma? Oh thank God you answered!" Rikki's voice shrieks vibrantly. She seems worried, and scared. Oh please, fuck no, she couldn't have seen the video too, could she?

"Rikki, what's wrong?" I ask in a cool nonchalant voice.

"You need to get your ass here right now. Cleo….She…Something…." Wheezing. Rikki can't talk right. This is bad. Rikki was always saying I overreact. She was clearly going through hysteria. Something terrible, something atrocious must have happened.

"Rikki, slow down. What's going on?"

"Cleo tried to kill herself. She's in the hospital. She really needs you, Em."

The phone went blank.

I gulped, and suddenly gallons of disgusting green stuff trickled from my throat forcing itself out. And for a moment I just throbbed there puking, crying, and feeling sorry.


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