Chapter 16: Her
I wake up the next day and decide I don’t want to get up. I have no business getting up today, nobody to see, maybe the stalker guy will leave me alone and Cassandra is handling what happened last night with Mr. Daniels.
Jeff knocks on my door. “Hey, Eliza. Breakfast is ready whenever you are.”
“Thanks, Jeff, but I am not hungry. I’m beat. I’ll just sleep today. It’s been too exciting for me these past couple of days.”
“Okay. If you change your mind, we’ll be down at Central Park at around 1.”
“Thanks.” He leaves and I just snuggle deeper into my blankets. I really needed a vacation.
I sleep for the next 6 hours or so, but Jeff and his family aren’t back yet, so I figure, eh, what the heck. Might be good to go for a walk. I shower, get dressed, catch a cab and go walking around Central Park. It’s not bad for being winter. There’s snow and stuff around, but it’s not really snow. It’s filthy, dark, slushy snow that we only get downtown back home.
Man, now I’m homesick! I was doing so good. I was so distracted and didn’t have any reason to be nervous, or worried, or anything. I was doing fine. I didn’t remember my room, or get distracted by the way this place smells…
I guess that MacPherson guy was a pretty good distraction. He knew how to show a girl how to not miss their family, or their home… their own bed… the regular comforts… the stars… the snow…..
Great. Now I’m going to cry. Real grownup, Eliza, go ahead, cry. You’re wandering around Central Park, somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, and you’re gonna cry because it’s not home. Big baby. You can go home and see all kinds of parks, all things beautiful. These people live in a giant concrete box, with this one park to see any of God’s beauty beyond the clouds, and you’re crying. They live in darkness and you want to go home. Dry up, Eliza. Stop being so selfish.
I guess I really shouldn’t have gotten up today. I should have just stayed on the couch and slept. But no. I have to be the bloody genius that goes outside on a beautiful day, just to wander around get some exercise. Now I have to have a lesson on selfishness. Thanks a lot.
I wander all the way around, not really paying much attention to my surroundings. I keep on talking to God in my head, hearing Him talk back.
“You’ve been selfish, haven’t you, Eliza?”
“Yes. Extremely. On this trip especially. It’s been about me, me, me this whole time. I came because I wanted to. I wanted to get my book published. I wanted to make Cassandra happy with the debate. I wanted to show up that idiot lady. I wanted to shut Thomas up. I wanted, I want, I need, me, me, me.”
“And what are you going to do about it?”
“Make it not about me? Make it about You?”
“That’s my girl.”
I just smile and keep walking, barely paying attention at all anymore. I crash into someone.
“Oof! Sorry! I’m sorry!” oh crap. It’s Jack MacPherson.