Come Back When You Can
Come Back When You Can
Prompt: Olivers Goodbye before he leaves for LOA.
"Come back when you can."
Felicity took off her heels and tiptoed quietly down the stairs, she knew Oliver would probably already be up but on the off chance that he wasn't she didn't want to wake him.
With all the stress, trouble with the League, finding Sara's killer and dealing with Merlyn, he had his plate full. Felicity had noticed dark bags under his eyes. Not the usual ones, no these weren't from nights spent under his hood, these were dark, purple bruises that had taken up permanent residence on his handsome face.
Felicity wished she knew what to say. It had been so quiet between them since his blow up about Ray 3 weeks ago. She could feel it, the tension in the room, like a rubber band waiting to snap. She hated not talking to him. She missed him immensely.
When she went to work she could almost forget what was happening between them, she was trying to move on, and with Ray she could see a happily ever after, the picket fence, the family, a normal life. But God help her that's not what she wanted, not with him. She wanted it to be with Oliver. She hated that if Oliver crooked is finger, gave her a sign that he could be in love with her that she would drop everything and be at his side forever, no matter what it meant for her. Even if it meant giving up her dreams.
But is that really love or more of a disease? Festering and boiling inside to the point you would give anything to cure it. Felicity knew her love for him wasn't healthy.
If he could have just told her he didn't love her, could never love her maybe she could have licked her wounds and moved on, eventually. Oh but he had said her name in the way that was reserved only for her and kissed her. His kiss was like a fire, burning through her body, destroying every coherent thought she had ever had. She wasn't just an IT Girl and he wasn't Oliver Queen or the Arrow, no they were just a man and woman finally releasing two years of locked up feelings. The kiss said what words couldn't.
When he pulled back and whispered to her to not ask him to say he didn't love her her heart shattered in her chest, she could see the pain, lust, want, the love in his blue eyes and the resignation. He had already given up on her. It was time for her to walk away and that's what she did. She would regret it for the rest of the life. Maybe she could have waited, took the breadcrumbs of the maybes, held on to them like life itself depended on it. But that wasn't anyway to live. That wasn't anyway to love.
Felicity made it to the bottom of the stairs, the foundry was lit by a sole dim light. Felicity was just about to head back up the stairs when she heard the quiet conversation taking place.
She padded in the direction it was coming from and saw Nyssa and Oliver talking by her desk.
"Oliver?" she called. He turned to face her and instantly her heart fluttered in her chest. She had seen that look in his eyes before.
"What's going on? Did something happen? Is it Sara? Did you find her killer?" Felicity stopped her babble when Nyssa spoke to Oliver in a language she couldn't understand, she nodded her head to Felicity and walked away. Dread seeped into her and her knees began to shake. Something was wrong, horribly wrong.
"Oliver, please talk to me," she pleaded.
"Felicity," he said her name like he was clinging to it, like it was the last light in a never ending darkness.
"I need you to do something for me."
"Anything. You know I'd do anything for you," she said.
"I need you to stay here, don't look for me, I need you to be safe, live a normal life, be happy."
"Oliver, you're scaring me," she said as she moved to be a foot in front of him, closer than they had been in a long time. "What did you do?"
"I made a deal, a deal with the devil, so that you, Thea, Diggle and Roy would be Starling City will be safe."
"I don't understand Oliver, I…I..," tears started falling unchecked down her cheeks. "You can't leave us here, you can't leave, what about Thea? What about this city Oliver, we started this, you can't just leave it all behind. You're not a killer Oliver."
"Diggle and Roy can carry on, I'm doing this for the city Felicity, for you for Thea. So you can be safe." His eyes were red and Felicity could see the moisture building in them.
"What if I don't want to be safe Oliver. What if I want to be with you? You're not doing this to me, not again. I'm so sick of you being so self sacrificing, your life is worth something! Get that through your thick head. Does Diggle know what your doing? I won't let you go Oliver, I'll tranq you again. This time you'll wake up chained to the wall if that's what it takes, please don't make me do that!"
"I need you to understand Fel—."
"I don't need to understand anything Oliver, because you're not going. I realize things have been hard between us and I'm sorry, so sorry but I promise if you'll stay I'll do anything. Anything. I know you said for me to never ask you to say you don't love me, I know you don't want to hurt me but you don't need to leave just to get away from me. It's okay if you don't love me."
"Is that what you think Felicity? That I don't love you? You couldn't be more wrong. I know I've did a pretty sucky job of showing it but never doubt that I do. Felicity, don't you understand,?" Oliver closed his eyes, scrubbed his hand over his face. "Felicity, I thought I knew what love was, thought I had it with Laurel, but 2 years ago, all that changed, I met you and you flipped my whole world upside down. You're so deep inside my heart, nothing and I mean nothing could take you out. That's why I'm doing this Felicity, because I wouldn't just hurt if I lost you, I would die. The Hell I went through on the Island would be nothing compared to losing you. I would kill for you, without even thinking about it. I would be a killer for you, if it meant you got to live another day."
Oliver paced in front of Felicity, strode over to the glass case and grabbed his hood off the metal head and started back to Felicity."
"This hood would be nothing Felicity, there would be no Arrow without you. I would just be a empty shell, but you taught me to feel again. To care, to love. So don't you ever," Oliver took Felicity's face in his hands. "ever think I don't love you."
"If all I had to give was me, I'd give you nothing less Felicity, but it's not just me." Oliver felt Felicity tremble beneath his hands. "Oh, Felicity," and that's when he kissed her. Oliver kissed her like never before, both their cheeks wet with tears, salt water mingling with two pairs of lips. Oliver pulled Felicity as close and he could get her, her hands went around his neck and she clung to him, there wasn't an inch between them. Oliver's hand around her waist, the other running through her hair. They kissed for what seemed like forever but it wasn't long enough. Finally when they separated for breath, Oliver rested his forehead against hers,eyes closed she still clung to him, fist balled with the fabric of his shirt.
"Open your eyes Felicity," said Oliver as he pulled back just enough to see her face.
Her eyes opened , rimmed with tears, lashes wet. To Oliver she had never looked more beautiful. He just breathed her in, eyes roving over every part of her face, memorizing every freckle so that when he was in the pits of Hell, he'd always have her. He wiped away a tear with the pad of his thumb.
"I love you Felicity, I love you…so much. You could never do anything to make me love you less." Felicity held his face in her hands and wiped his tears away.
"I love you Oliver." He pulled her close again, hugged her for the last time. Nyssa appeared, said something Felicity didn't understand.
"You have to let me go Felicity. Please," Oliver pleaded.
Felicity held on to his hand. She knew he had to go, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would, but she also knew that it wouldn't be that easy. She would let him go, but she wouldn't let him go. She would find him and she would bring him home. Her, Diggle and Roy. Nothing could stop her, not even the League of Assassins.
So she let him go. Fingers holding on to his until the last second.
"Come back when you can."
And then he was gone. Her legs collapsed beneath her and she lay on the cold foundry floor holding his pillow till Diggle found her.
"We have to find him John, I have to find him."
"We will," he said as he held on to the woman he loved, the sister he never had and never knew he needed. "We will Felicity, I promise you."