CHUCK VS THE LETTER
Sarah's Porsche - After leaving Casa Bartowski 10 .40 a.m.
Sarah was lost in thought. She didn't know what to do or where to go. She had tried calling Chuck, but his phone was switched off. His voice mail wasn't even on. She decided to try their place; the spot that was special to both of them. She got to the beach as quickly as she could, but again she was to be shocked and disappointed. Certainly someone was waiting for her there, but it wasn't Chuck.
"Morgan, what are you doing here?"
"Chuck gave me this message for you," replied Morgan. He handed her an envelope. "I've done exactly as he asked, so I'm leaving now. Goodbye Sarah."
Sarah didn't even acknowledge Morgan's goodbye. She tore open the envelope to find a folded sheet of paper with the following words on it.
Go to your hotel room Sarah.
She sat up and almost ran to her car with a new-found hope. Maybe Chuck was there all this time and waiting to her to come. So she drove her car as quickly as possible to Maison 23.
Sarah's Hotel Room - 11.00 a.m.
Sarah quickly opened the door and begin to say Chuck but again, she was to be disappointed. Chuck wasn't there. Why did he ask me to come here then? When she walked over to her bed, she saw another envelope, propped up against the pillow. Again she tore it open and began to read.
When you first stepped into the Buy-More, You were so beautiful I thought you were an angel. I was so excited when you actually spoke to me that I couldn't reply without babbling. It was huge for me when you joked about my name. I think I fell in love with you right then. Just one smile from you and suddenly my whole broken world begin to heal.
But I had to leave you to help a customer. When I was finished with them, you were gone I was so disappointed, but then Morgan showed your card to me and I was happy again. When we left work, all Morgan could talk about was that I should call I couldn't call you. I considered you way out of my league. I was afraid if I did go out on a date with you, that you would realise that it was a mistake and I couldn't bear the thought of that.
Then I learned that I was the Intersect and you worked for the CIA. I should really have known that a woman like you wasn't really interested in a guy like me; a loser who works at the Buy-More. I was devastated. But then you came to me on the beach and asked me to trust you. Although I only knew you for two days, I felt that I could because I had already fallen in love with you at that stage.
As we worked together, I began to fall more in love with you. But on your side, you kept giving me mixed signals. First you told me that we couldn't have a relationship, then you kissed me on the docks when we thought we were about to die. When Bryce came back, you kissed him in my room, yet you didn't leave with him when you had the chance. But I wouldn't give up on you. Especially after you tried to reason with Longshore to keep me from a bunker.
Then Bryce appeared in our lives again. Whenever that happened, you always seemed to forget about me and you never explained why. I know you were only doing your job as ordered, but you knew my history with Bryce and you didn't seem to care what I thought.
After we went to your high school reunion and after the mission, I thought we were finally back on track. Then Cole Barker showed up and again I was pushed into the background. Obviously I was good enough until a real spy came along.
I understand that I probably hurt you with Lou and Hannah. I definitely hurt you with Jill. And I know I hurt you with Prague. But I still think that it is nothing compared to what you did to me. You knew that I desperately wanted to learn something real about you. I even let the opportunity pass after your high school reunion, because I thought we were getting somewhere.
After a couple of weeks I asked you your real name and you wouldn't tell me. Yet you knew Shaw for less time than that and you told him without him even asking. Nothing has ever hurt me more, not even my parents leaving Ellie and me, not Bryce getting me kicked out of Stanford, Not even Jill deceiving me as a Fulcrum agent. I realised then, that unasked, you could share the real you. You just didn't want to share it with me. You knew that I really treasure honesty, trust and love. You asked me to trust you, but now. I don't think I can trust anyone ever again. All they do is hurt you.
But one question is still in my mind. Why did you tell Shaw your name after a few weeks when I still didn't know it after a few years? I had though at the very least that we were friends and that I deserved to at least know that much about you. I know that after Prague you were hurt, but even so I thought friends would share those types of things with each other. But it seems to me now, that we weren't even that. When you said that one word to Shaw, you destroyed any trust I had in you.
I am normally a forgiving person Sarah but I don't think I could ever completely trust you again. I had so much plans for us; we were going to be together and live happily ever after. When you danced with me at my sister's wedding, I thought you felt the same way. Apparently you had another plans from the beginning. Were you just playing me like another mark? When you were done with me, was I going to end up in a bunker after all? Or worse?
You are not the person I thought you were. I have learned the hard way that I don't know anything about Agent Sarah Walker. But I know she will do everything to complete her mission. You are after all Graham's wild card enforcer who would do or say anything to complete your mission. Stringing me along like that for years obviously helped your mission.
I am going to try and forget the name Sarah Walker even though I love you so much that it hurts. But I am not going to go all this will we/won't we again. I don't know if I will ever forgive you for what you did to me. You were my world and my life and you have destroyed me.
What am I going to do now? That will no longer be your concern. I am going to carry on. But I am sure of one thing; we will never see each other again.
P.S.I want you to do one last thing from you. Please give the bracelet back to Ellie. I gave that because I was sure we had something real. I realise now that you probably never wanted it in the first place.
Charles Irving Bartowski
Sarah was crying at this stage. How did everything go to hell this quickly? What was going to happen to her now? How she was going to live without him? One stupid mistake had ruined everything. The future with Chuck that she now realised, she had never given up.
She could see tear signs on the letter. Apparently Chuck was also crying while he was writing this. She was heartbroken that he was feeling so hurt because of her. She knew that she had hurt him sometimes when they worked together, but she hadn't realised the extent to which he had bottled it up.
But she cried harder when she re-read the part about the bracelet. Because she knew that if he wanted it back, that he was serious. He didn't want her to have what was a family heirloom if there was going to be no future for them and if he felt that she never wanted it in the first place.
For the first time in her life as an agent, Sarah Walker had no idea what to do. She had just lost Chuck and any hope of a future that they might have had together. And no matter what she tried or thought, the tears would not stop.