It's a relatively warm night for the end of March and so we went for a walk after getting back from dinner. But all too soon we arrive at Alicia's door. As I know I won't see her over the weekend I dread saying good night and leaving. Instead I pull her close and sigh when she rests her head against my shoulder. This will be the first weekend in a month we won't spend together. Looking back, the past weeks have passed in a blur of happiness. After we met in court I had my doubts if she would really call me. The happier I was when she did and accepted my invite to dinner. I really consider myself lucky we met again though I had hoped it would've been under a better prefix for Alicia. It took her a while to tell me the circumstances of her marriage breaking up but I sensed she felt better after I knew it.
Sometimes I think about what would've been if I had walked her home that night ten years ago and kick myself for not doing it. But it also made me more cautious of our relationship and I already know that I don't want to lose her again. As if she read my thoughts her embrace tightens and she lifts her head to place a soft kiss on my lips.
"Time to say good night, babe." I say sadly as we break the kiss.
She loosens her embrace, retrieves the keys from her purse and looks up at me again. I lean in to give her a good night kiss but she softly shakes her head and smiles at me.
"What..?" she cuts me off by placing her index finger over my mouth. I watch her confused but nod in agreement to not say anything when she removes her finger from my lips and grabs my hand pulling me with her.
She unlocks the door and I follow her towards the elevators. Once inside she reaches for my other hand and steps closer, smiling softly at me.
"I don't want to say good night, yet." she whispers, placing a light kiss on the tip of my lip.
I still watch her bewildered while she captures my lips in a searing kiss and lets go of my hands to open my suit-jacket. Her fingers glide over my chest until they find the knot of my tie which she loosens slowly. I break the kiss and softly pull her chin up to make her look at me.
She seems to read my mind again as she whispers "Yes" to my unspoken question if she is really sure of this. I search her eyes but all I see in them is an affirmation of what her lips said. I smile at her and start trailing kisses from her temple down her cheek and further down her throat while my hands wander under her coat towards her back caressing it tenderly. Her hands move up my neck and she runs her fingertips through my hair as my lips find hers again. She moans softly as I pull her even closer to me. The sound alone sends tingles down my spine. We only break the kiss as the bing from the elevator announces we have reached our destination. Alicia grabs my hand again and we walk to her door.
I have barely closed it behind me when I feel her lips again on mine and she frees me of my coat and jacket, gently guiding me in the direction of her bedroom. Once inside I pull her close to me and kiss her tenderly, slowly pushing down her coat she is still wearing. I have no intention to rush this so I softly reach for her hands which already untuck my shirt. She breaks the kiss watching me insecure.
"We have time." I whisper smiling at her reassuringly. She casts down her eyes and I guess I can see her blush a little in the semi-darkness of the room. I cup her cheek in my palm and she peers up to me smiling again. I trace her lips with my thumb which she gently kisses before I replace it with my lips. I leave her lips to continue my trail down her throat following the line of her dress towards her back. I find the zipper and open it slowly covering every exposed inch of skin with feather light kisses. I feel her shudder and slide my other hand around her waist caressing her stomach. I reach the end of the zipper and let my other hand rest on her hip turning her gently around so she faces me again. She smiles at me before our lips meet once more. I tenderly stroke her bare back and pull the material from her arms. She breaks the kiss to help me and the smooth fabric falls to the floor.
I groan gently as I look at her standing in front of me. I roam her body with my eyes drinking in the sight of her only clothed in a black lace bra, matching panties and thigh highs. She smiles seductively at me as she steps out of her dress, her hands finding my tie again, loosening it completely this time. I run my fingertips around her waist, taking my time to caress her naked skin before letting my hands wander upwards to run my thumbs over the thin lace covering her breasts. Her fingers slowly open the buttons of my shirt and her lips trace my collarbone as she pushes it down my shoulders. I pull her towards me and enjoy the feeling of her naked skin pressed to mine. Her hand finds mine and she guides us towards the bed where she sits down in front of me. Her fingertips trace the waistband of my trousers before she unbuckles my belt. I get rid of my pants, shoes and socks while she slides backwards on the bed. I join her and and we share a heated kiss while our hands eagerly explore each others bodies. We break for air and my fingers play with her bra strap as I realize we didn't talk about protection.
"Uhm, babe, what about protection?" I lean back and smile uncertain at her.
She slides her hand along my arm and places a soft kiss on my lips before she smiles mischievously at me.
"Top drawer." she gestures towards her night stand and laughs as I look at her a little stunned. I lean over her to open the drawer and retrieve a box of condoms with a note attached to it. Now it's her turn to look surprised as she sits up and grabs the note. I chuckle softly as I have already read it:
'Have fun when it feels right! Love Owen'
Once again she blushes lightly as I take the note from her hand and look into her eyes.
"Does it feel right?" I ask her and I hope she can read from my eyes that I will understand if she doesn't want to go further.
"It does, Peter!" She holds my gaze and nods firmly a smile lighting up her face. I smile back and capture her lips again to continue where we left off.
A small eternity later she lays cuddled up in my arms and I can feel she is nearly falling asleep. I pull her even closer and put a soft kiss behind her ear which earns me a sleepy sigh from her. I lift my head to be able to watch her face. Her eyes are closed and her lips are curled up in a content smile. I am not tired at all. I could watch her all night and be the happiest man on earth. I am past the point of just caring about her. I know for a while now that I have deeper feelings for her. I am not quite sure if I haven't been in love with her since the night we met 10 years ago. But I know that I have never felt more alive since she walked back into my life.
I never believed in the term 'soul mate' as I had a problem accepting the fact that there is only one person in the whole wide world you can be happy with. And I still believe that you can find life's happiness with more than one person. But if there is really one person out there for everyone that can make you feel complete I guess I found that matching part for me in Alicia. I never could truly relate why people call sex love-making until tonight. And I suddenly realize that I probably never was in love before. I've had relationships, some short-lived, some more serious. But I've never felt that connection to any of these women that I experienced earlier while sleeping with Alicia. I place another kiss on her hair and she stirs softly in my arms and slowly opens her eyes.
"Go back to sleep." I whisper in her ear and kiss her cheek.
"Why aren't you asleep?" she turns in my arms and nestles her face on my shoulder kissing my neck softly.
I feel the words 'I love you' bubbling up inside of me but I swallow them down, sensing it's still too early to tell her.
"I will now." I say instead as I feel her gaze on my face. I steal another kiss from her lips before I finally close my eyes and sleep captures me moments later.
The morning has passed way too fast and soon it is time for Peter to leave as I have to get ready to make my flight to California in the afternoon. We have spent most of the morning in bed and I once more feel the swarm of butterflies in my stomach while I watch him getting dressed. But I also feel a sadness capturing my heart thinking about that I won't see him for a couple of days. He is still in the same room and I already miss him. It's been a while since I felt like this about anyone. Not since I started dating Will. But that feeling faded and I don't want and can't compare my relationship to Will with what is just starting with Peter. I know that I still love my husband and no matter what our relationship will end up to be once the divorce is finalized, he will always have a place in my heart. I still have trouble to put a name on the feelings I have for Peter. I think it's too soon to call it love but I also know its way more than friendship already. I care deeply about him and although he is just in my life for two short months the thought of losing him leaves me short of breath.
"Alicia?!" Peter's voice brings me back from my thoughts and I look up at him standing fully dressed in front of me.
"From where did you just come back?" he watches me amused and I smile apologetically at him.
"Nowhere." I shake my head slightly and get up from the bed where I have been sitting.
"Thinking about the fastest way to get me out of here, right?" he chuckles as I walk over to him.
"No!" I exclaim sliding my hands around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder.
"Rather the opposite." I smile sadly upwards as he puts his hands on my waist and caresses me through the thin fabric of my bathrobe.
"But I have to. I don't want to but you have to get ready." he places a quick peck on the tip of my nose and hesitantly takes his hands from my body.
"Yes." I nod lightly and follow him slowly outside into the hallway where he picks up his jacket and coat that still lie on the floor where I stripped them from him the previous night. I smile at the memory and close the distance between us. He pulls me close and we share a slow kiss that he breaks way too soon for my liking.
"I have to go now, babe." he whispers but stays put with his arms once more around my waist.
"Yeah!" I nod reluctantly and push him softly away. I hear him sigh as he loosens the embrace and turns towards the door. We share a last kiss in the doorway.
"I'll miss you." I whisper softly as he slowly lets go of my hand and walks towards the elevator. He smiles at me as he steps into the lift and I close the door. I lean against the wall and just stay there for a while feeling lost now he's gone. I am about to finally leave the hallway to get ready when a soft knock on the door startles me. I open it and see Peter standing in front of it, a soft smile playing on his lips.
"Did you forget something?" I ask him not quite able to hide my astonishment.
"Yes, I did." he closes the distance between us and reaches for my hands.
"I love you." he whispers. I gasp in surprise and am not sure how to respond.
"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know." he tells me softly and I peer into his eyes which confirm his words. Instead of saying anything I lean in and kiss him softly on the lips. Seconds later he stands in front of the elevator and I watch him leave once more. I go back into the apartment and lean at the wall again. My heart pounds heavily in my chest and I am still a little shocked by what just happened. I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself but the millions of butterflies in my stomach won't settle down. A few minutes pass and just as I detach myself from the wall to leave the hallway another knock on my door surprises me.
"Did you forget something else." I boldly open the door but the smile freezes on my face as I realize it isn't Peter.
"Will?" is all I manage to say.
"Hey Alicia!" he greets me a small smile on his lips. "I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
"I don't know what we need to talk about that our lawyers can't handle." I fold my arms in front of my chest.
"I miss you."