The Trip to Alfea
"I hate Middleton, I hate Kim Possible, I hate working for that demented Doctor Drakken on his harebrained schemes to dominate the world and for his mechanic brother, Motor Ed, who is just as mad in a different way," she rages. "And I am fed up with Señor Senior Jr.," she growls for, although she thinks of him as handsome and buff, she quickly learns that he has no ambitions other than pursuing his dance career and being eternally the man servant for his father Señor Senior Sr. Then angrier still, she screams, "And most of all, I hate Ron Stoppable for making such a fool of me and the laughingstock of just everyone."
Shego boils as she recalls that day. She, Dr. Drakken, Duff Killigan and Monkey Fist were about to replace the head upon the body of the Tempus Simia – a magical statue that would allow them to travel through time. They are only minutes away from completing the task when Kim Possible and her buffoon sidekick, Ron Stoppable, show up and Kim manages to steal the head away from them and a kung-fu, karate and flying green plasma battle is on. Shego chases after Kim to retrieve the head but Kim has set up a game of toss between Ron and herself leaving Shego in the middle trying to recapture it. Finally, when she sees Kim toss the head again to Ron who fumbles for a second, she sees her chance for repossession and, putting on a burst of speed, rushes in for the tackle and hits him just a split second too late. She is on top of Ron and has his back and arms pinned to the ground when his expression turns into a mushy, addlepated "Ah wuvs oo," look and he says to her, "Hey, you're kind-a cute in this light." Then, unexpectedly, Ron flips her on her back and is planting a juicy, wet and passionate one on her mouth. Then again, much to her horror and chagrin, she finds her body responding by wrapping her arms around Ron's neck and kissing him passionately back while Kim looks on in utter shock and The Mad Golfer, The Demented Doctor and Monkey Boy laugh and croon, "Sheeego, Sheeego, Shego's in love-ov-ov-ov!" Sheesh! In one of the timelines she explored via the Tempus Simia she finds her alternate self having given into Ron's advances, married to him, gone all to pot and the mother of six squalling and screaming brats.
The recollection draws her attention to the Tempus Simia which is sitting on a pedestal in one corner of her room. "And you, you," snarls Shego, picking it up and talking to it as if it were something alive. "What earthly good are you to me?" she spits for it seems that no matter which timeline she travels through whether into the past or into the future, she finds Kim Possible, her ancestors or her progeny there waiting for her to kick her black and green clad butt back to the present. Shego pulls back her arm ready to smash the Tempus Simia against the wall when she hears a staccato "click!" just before she is about to send it flying to its doom.
"What?" says Shego, examining the statue. "Well, it seems that you have an alternate setting," she whispers to herself. "This may have just earned you a new lease on your wretched life." Shego ponders for only a short time before she arrives at the conclusion that a new adventure would be better than remaining in this dead-end situation in which she finds herself here and maybe this time things might just work out for her. Then holding the Time Monkey in her hand she incants, "Do your thing, O Tempus Simia."
Shego finds herself being buffeted, tossed, twisted and shuffled back and forth as the Tempus Simia takes her on a wild roller coaster ride. She feels that she is about to slip into a blackout when then she feels herself land on something cushy with her head spinning. For a moment, all she can see before her is a blur but by-and-by it settles into a vision of three pairs of slender and shapely women's legs clad in high stiletto boots. She looks up into the faces of three women standing over her looking shocked and baffled. One possesses snow-white hair done up in a high ponytail, ice-blue eyes and is wearing a skin-tight black outfit which gives Shego the impression that she is the one in charge. Her companions are a short brunette wearing square-cut glasses and the other is shorter still with puffy blue-black hair that resembles a thundercloud and an irritated look on her face.
"Na leq-qa i-vulu savikh cha sailo-qaq," says the leader to her.
"Well, oogly-woogly rama lama ding-dong right back at you," replies Shego.
The leader looks at her companions who shrug and say something that can only mean, "Don't look at us for we ain't got no clue." Then Shego sees a ball of white plasma form in the leader's hands which she drives right into her face.
"Ouch! That stings!" screams Shego as she springs to her feet and grabs the leader by the front of her tunic and lifts her off her feet. "Go-on," snarls Shego into the leader's face, "just give me another reason, babe, to rearrange your pretty face," and fires up her other hand with green plasma.
"Easy, easy, my raven beauty," Shego suddenly hears the leader say in a silky, mezzo voice. "How about putting me down and then I will explain all to you."
"You speak English?" asks Shego of the white-haired leader who despite her high stiletto boots barely makes it to under her chin.
"No, we speak Witchspeak but you hear your own language through the interpreter spell I just cast upon you," explains the leader, smiling sweetly at her with a smitten look in her eyes.
"And I am now speaking this Witchspeak language?" asks Shego.
"No," says the leader again. "You continue to speak your own language but we hear Witchspeak. But I'm being a poor hostess. I am called Icy and these are my sisters Darcy and the little one here is Stormy."
"I'm Shego," says Shego, offering Icy her hand which is ignored.
"Your name is 'Mischievous Pixie'?" asks Icy looking confused while her two sisters giggle.
"What do you mean 'Mischievous Pixie'?" asks Shego not sure if she is being insulted or just teased.
"Forgive me," says Icy. "The interpreter spell is not perfect but that is the way your name is being rendered into Witchspeak and, although I can agree that you may be mischievous, I find that you are just a tad too tall to be a pixie," she adds with a grin.
Icy leads Shego to a kind of sofa and bids her sit down and relax. She then snaps her fingers and a tray with four goblets and a platter of what appears to be of cheese, fruit and biscuits appears floating in the air. "This is some local wine brewed right here," says Icy as she offers Shego one of the goblets.
Shego takes a cautious sip of the wine thinking that it is better to accept this offer of food, drink and hospitality for the moment rather than risking offending this Trix, as she learns they call themselves collectively, who could become potentially deadly enemies if slighted. "This is lovely wine," she says finding it to be well aged with an earthy taste and bouquet although with a rather sharp aftertaste yet bringing a warm flush to her cheeks.
"Try the chocolate chip and chirpies cookies," encourages Icy indicating one of the piles of cookies on the platter. Shego feels a sudden pang of hunger and is glad that there is at least chocolate wherever she is, and, before she gives any second thoughts to it, has half of one of the cookies already in her mouth. Well, yes, there is chocolate but it's dark and unsweetened and the "chirpies" had a taste she couldn't quite place but found to be crunchy and not all that bad.
"What are 'chirpies'?" she asks Icy.
"Crickets," replies Icy, smiling. "Do you like them?" but then, seeing the expression on Shego's face, breaks up laughing and her two sisters look as if they are about to fall off the sofa and start rolling on the floor.
"Well, my raven beauty," says Icy soothingly but still trying to suppress her laughter, "you will have to get accustomed to the local viands if you wish to live here on Alfea."
Icy and Shego and Icy's sisters continue to converse until the sun is nearly below the horizon. During the conversation, Shego learns that she is now on the Planet of Alfea which is inhabited by two groups of magical beings who call themselves Witches and Faeries yet she finds Icy to be too beautiful to be any of the storybook Witches she has read about. There is an on-going war being raged between them and a group of Faeries called the Winx for something she calls Dragon's Fire. The battle is going badly for The Trix mostly because they are being out-classed and out-gunned by the Winx and especially by one among them named Bloom whom Icy claims to be in possession of her stolen Dragon's Fire. Then Shego gives The Trix a quick run-down of her situation in her own dimension.
"Well, we appear to have much in common," says Icy and her sisters chime in in agreement. "We are all Witches in our own dimensions and we are fighting against uppity redheads whom we want quashed, so how about this?" she purrs. "If you join us and add your powers to ours so we can clip Bloom's wings and crush the Winx into Faerie dust then in return we'll go to your dimension and help you kick this Kim Possible's butt into the next dimension."
Shego finds herself liking the way these Witches think. "Agreed," she tells them, "I will join you to help you crush these Winx if you promise to aid me in my battle against Kim Possible."
Shego stands up and offers her hand to Icy as a gesture to seal the bargain but again the gesture is ignored. Instead, Icy floats up to eye level and intones, "Then receive from me my sisterly kisses of agreement and acceptance," and kisses her on both temples.
"Cute custom," thinks Shego, "I guess that when in Rome…," then aloud to Icy says, "Receive also mine," and kisses Icy's one temple. But then, while kissing Icy's other temple she realizes how much she is thrilled by the sensation of her mouth against Icy's skin and how intoxicating she finds Icy's scent that sends her heart racing. "O yes," Shego thinks while shutting her eyes dreamily, "I could really get to like this one," then opens her eyes to see that she is looking into Stormy's face which is twisted into an angry and outraged snarl.