Scars and Wings

Chapter 8

I opened the front door and headed to the living room. Dean and Bobby were researching for their latest case somewhere in New Jersey. Dean looked up when I collapsed into a chair.

"How was flying?"

"I don't really even know why I try. I never get more than a few feet off the ground, but gliding is getting better."

Bobby snorted a response. Dean looked around.

"Where's Sam? Did he find you?"

"Yes, but not before I got put on par with a winged pig. Right now, he is tongue sparing with a short blond guy named Gabriel. I didn't want to see anything that might scar me for life, so I came back here."

Bobby and Dean reached their shotguns and made sure they were loaded, but didn't leave.

"Twenty bucks says they won't be comin' back 'til tomorrow," Bobby said going back to his book.

"Gabe wouldn't come back from "the dead" without a reason. I give them an hour or two."

"Um, I'm a little lost here," I butted in.

Dean glanced at me. "Sammy has thought Gabriel, an Archangel and Cas's big brother, has been dead for ... damn, years now. This" gestured between him and Bobby "is us betting how long it is going to take them to have angry, then make up sex."

"EW! TMI!"

"You asked," Bobby pointed out.

"About who Gabriel was and what happened between him and Sam, not what you two were betting on!"

My avoidance of scarring for life just went down the drain. Thanks to Bobby and Dean, I now couldn't get the image of Sam and Gabriel doing it out of my mind. I needed serious mind bleach. I was about to storm off when Gabriel and Sam appeared in the middle of the room, fully clothed and not too ruffled.

"Hey Deano! How you doing, Bobby? Still soul searching?"

"Crowley gave it back, so don't be bringin' it back up, idjit."

Gabriel grinned. "So, where is Casie? He always isn't very far from you lot."

"We haven't seen him in a month," Bobby said.

"He hasn't sent a text or called or anything." I could heard the distress in Dean's voice.

"What did you do, Dean?" Gabe asked, becoming very serious. "The only reason he would fall off the face of Dad's earth is that you hurt him badly."

"Things were going great. We were happy."

I'm having . . . having a child. Yes, Dean is the father.

I bit my lip and turned to leave.

"You know something."

I stiffened at Gabriel's words. "I don't know anything," I lied. I couldn't tell them, it wasn't my place.

"Yes, you do. Tell us." I shivered at the power and ice in the Angel's voice. Something about it made me want to obey.

"I- I can't say. I promised I wouldn't tell."

I looked up to find an angry Dean in front of me. "He could be hurt or in danger! And you won't say anything because you promised?! Well, I hate to break it to you, Shay, but Cas isn't fucking here and you are the only one who knows what the fuck is going on!"

I winced at the words, but didn't budge. I looked at Gabriel, hoping to get the attention away from me. "Why do you need Cas?"

Gabriel sighed. "Heaven is recalling all its soldiers for a hunt, one that I do not approve of no matter how much I hate the bastards."

A cold fear grew in the pit of my stomach. "Who are you hunting?"

"That is none of your concer-"

"Gabriel, who the fuck are you hunting?" I said with a power I didn't know I had.

Gabriel looked at me with amazement. "The order has come for the Angels to hunt down the Nephilim, and wipe them from the face of this world."

I collapsed to the ground, fear crushing my very being. I started babbling.

"Don't look for him. Don't try to summon him. It is safer for the both of them if you just let him hide."

Silence followed my plea. I was shaking. I couldn't help but feel the need to run and hide in the deepest, darkest hole I could find, or find some way to defend myself. My Grace, yeah, I could use my Grace to defend myself.

Not yet. Wait.

"Did you just say "both of them"?" Bobby asked.

I felt all the blood run from my face. It had slipped out. I hadn't meant for it to, but now they all could put the pieces together. I curled into a ball and wrapped my wings around me. I waited for the demands. I was surprised to feel fingers preening my right wing. I peaked out to see Gabriel straightening my feathers.

He caught my eyes. I saw worry in his eyes. "About how long?"

No use in lying now. "Maybe a month, maybe a little longer. Cas was so scared and disgusted with himself. He was convinced that it was evil, but I just know that it isn't. I told him as much."

Gabriel stared at me like I had told him that dogs have kittens, then stood up. "We don't have much time. Heaven has their best trackers looking for any hint of Nephilim Grace, which means Cas is in serious danger."

Dean had since collapsed into a nearby chair. The realization of what had happened had taken him completely off guard.

"We are going to need to summon him here," Gabriel announced. He rattled off a list of things for Bobby and Sam to get while he started placing warding on the house. I went and sat next to the new expectant father.

"Why? Why didn't he tell me? We could've gotten through this. I wouldn't have been mad or anything." The pain and anger was clear in his voice.

I place a hand on Dean's knee. "It wasn't like he didn't want to tell you. Cas was scared. Millennia of bias made him believe he was carrying an evil thing. He knew you would protect it, and he wasn't sure if it should be protected. He was scared that it would hurt you. I told him that with you two as its parents, there is no way that it can be evil."

This got a small smile out of Dean. He placed an arm around my shoulders and hugged me.

"You misrepresented me, Shay. I originally said that I would rather cut off my wings and jump off a cliff than tell Dean about our child. You made me sound like I was afraid of being rejected."

Dean and I whipped around to find Cas standing in the front door, arms crossed. Dean was across the room and pulling Cas into his arms before I could stand up. Dean buried his head into Cas's neck, and Cas gripped Dean's shirt tightly.

"I'm sor-" Cas's apology was cut off by Dean's lips covering his.

It was starting to get a little awkward, so I made for the door.

"Sit your ass back down, Shay." I plopped back down on the couch and waited out this very awkward moment. I hugged a pillow and prayed for someone to save me.

"Alright, Dean. I think you have lectured her enou- Castiel! Where the hell have you been?!"

Gabriel launched himself at the two and was able to pull Cas away from Dean, who wasn't very happy about that.

"You can't just up and disappear like that. Balthy and I were worried sick! Not to mention that Raphael is doing his damnedest to paint you as the most cowardly deserter. I was running out of excuses and reasons."

Castiel looked down in guilt. “I'm sorry. I just needed time to straighten my thoughts.” He turned to me. “Thank you for your words, Shay. It took me a little while, but what you said was true, and for that, thank you.”

I smiled. “I'm glad that I could help.”

Everyone came and left in the next few hours: gathering supplies, ammunition and other things. Cas and Dean disappeared for a little while, but nobody went to look for them. We all knew that they were setting some things straight.

Gabriel didn’t say anything, but I could tell that he was watching me. I knew why. I was a girl with wings and a bound Grace. He probably knew that I wasn’t an Angel, which left a very short list of what I could possibly be, by my research. At the very top of that list was the one thing that was putting us all in danger.

In my research, I found that Grace is also knowledge. I asked Bobby what that mean, and he said that Angels remember everything from the moment that they are created, and those memories are stored in their Grace.

“So when… if I release my Grace, I will probably remember who my parents are?”

“If you saw their faces, yeah, and also you may find out why they carved the sigils into you.”

The dreams started the night Cas returned. What was so weird about them is that I would wake up in tears, in pain, covered in sweat, but I wouldn’t remember what I dreamed about, but a soft lullaby always rang in my ears, soothing me.

Days, then weeks passed. I was getting cabin fever, but I couldn’t go outside without being found by Angels or what not. Lilith still annoyed me to Hell and back, but we have gotten to a little more of an understanding. I found that I can shove her in a mental box in my head, and she doesn’t like it. So, if she keeps the pain and attempted takeovers to nonexistent, then she doesn’t spend the entire time in the box.

What was even funnier was when Gabriel found me chatting with Lilith, so inherently to myself.

"Just because I'm civil to you, doesn't mean that I won't take the first opportunity to kick you out of me."

Nope, I think you are actually coming to like me.

I snorted. "Yeah right. Like I would love to have a blood thirsty demon stuck for eternity in my head."

"You have what stuck for eternity in your head?"

Gabriel stood above me with a very concerned look on his face.

Why hell-o, Loki. Don't you recognize me? Well I have taken a new look since we last saw each other. You haven't changed a bit. Surely you remember our time in Paris? You were such the rebel then, running from Daddy. Kali and I enjoyed your company immensely.

A very raunchy image of a three way came to mind that made me gag.

"Please keep your memories to yourself," I muttered. I looked up at Gabriel. "So what is this about Paris, Loki?" I lifted an eyebrow.

"Darling, you have to be a little more..." His voice drifted off as he figured it out. "Please don't tell me that-"

"Lilith and I are sharing lodging until I can find some way to kick her out." I picked up a book and pretended to read. "Does Sam know about your thousands of years of philandering?" I looked over the pages. Gabriel reddened and turn away.

"Yea, but we don't mention it."

Oh, I can't wait to get my hands on him. Can you go to bed early tonight? Maybe even leave the dungeon keys in an open area?

"Just to give you fair warning. Lilith likes to take over when I sleep sometimes, so make sure your door is locked. She knows where the chains and whips are."


This made Gabriel perk up. "Bobby has chains and whips?" I could hear the scheming in his head. Great, now I had to warn Sam.

Cas walked into the room and I smiled at him. "How you doing?"

"Strangely well. Dean seems to be rather amused by the fact that I'm sporting a "baby bump"."

I glanced at the Angel's waistline which was quite rounded for only being two months along.

"How much longer?"

Cas shook his head. "No idea."

I was confused. "But I thought there were other Nephilim around?"

"Yes, there are," Cas said, sitting down, "but this is the first time the Nephilim has been carried by an Angel. All the other Nephilim were carried by their human mothers."

I thought about it for a second. "What about angelic pregnancies? You told me that Angels carry the child in their Grace, so there must be some info there?"

Gabriel sighed. "Not much. They are rare, and I mean extremely rare. No Angel likes to get that close to one of their brethren. When it did happen, that Angel is taken away until the fledgling is born. I can count on one hand how many times an Angel has been pregnant."

I heard a distant pain in Gabe's voice and was about to ask when Cas paled, his hand flying to his stomach. Gabe and I were at his side in an instant.

"Cas, what's wrong?" I was so scared.

"I don't know. This feeling has never happened before."

I placed my hands over his."Everything is going to be-" I was cut off by a slight movement under my hands. "Can you move you hands for a second?"

I gently set my palm against Cas's stomach. I smiled when I felt it again.

"Dean! Get in here!" I yelled over my shoulder. I smiled at the two Angels who were looking at me scared.

"Shay, what's wrong? Is Cas okay?" Dean still had a smudge of toothpaste on the corner of his mouth. I smiled and waved him over. I took his hand and put it on Cas's stomach in place of mine.

"Just wait."

I saw the confusion then the awe cross his face. He smiled at Cas, who was still very scared.

"Dean, what is going on? Is something wrong with the baby?"

Dean kissed Cas. "Everything is perfect. Our baby is just stretching that is all."

"So that is normal?" Cas asked. I nod.

"Fledglings never move before birth." I turned to Gabriel. He was staring out the window. "Sometimes you even forget you're even carrying them.

Some pieces fell into place. I knew the Archangel just a little bit better now.

Dean changed positions so that Cas's could lean against him. I smiled when I saw a small hand or foot press against Cas's skin. I touched the small spot. A soft lullaby bubbled to my lips. The words alluded me, but the melody came to my lips in a hum. I saw Cas's relax and the baby settled down.
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