Akatsuki Babysitters


"Wow! You swim super fast, Kisame-san!"

Kisame burst through the surface of the water and pushed his hair back over his head.

"You think?"

"Mm! Like those great whites on TV!"

Sakura was sitting in a purple tube and was drifting lazily around Murasaki Lake. Kisame took to lapping from one end of the lake to the other to get his stamina up.

"You callin' me a shark?"

"Yep. You even got the pointy teeth to go with it."

She reached over the the grassy bank to pink up a smoothie Tobi made for her. Kisame popped up over the surface after a few more laps.

"Sakura! Could you get me my drink?" he asked. She obliged and grabbed the sports bottle that sat right beside her smoothie. Suspicious, she opened the top and sniffed.

"Kisame-san!" she gasped, "This is sake!"


"You- You can't swim drunk!" she sputtered incredulously. He laughed and slowly floated over.

"All of that isn't going to make me drunk, Sakura."

"Well you can't swim on a broken liver either so no! You can't have your sake! Drink the smoothie instead!"

She shut the bottle and pushed it towards their stuff and out of arm's reach. Sakura held the smoothie out with a no-nonsense look on her face once Kisame made it to her. He pouted.

"Oh come on, not even a little? That's my usual twelve o'clock sake!"

"Go take it at the other twelve o'clock!"

"But I'll be sleeping!"


She stuck her tongue out at him and urged the smoothie into his hands until he finally took it.

"Now whenever I'm around, you've not allowed to drink anymore!"

Kisame puffed out his cheeks, mimicking what Sakura had done many times before, and sulkily drank the strawberry banana smoothie.

Back at the house, Deidara and Hidan were lounging about in the living room with a pile of filthy clothes behind the couch. Kisame sighed exasperatedly and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What the hell is that?"

Deidara looked up at him.

"Laundry, hm."

"Why isn't it in the washer?!"

Hidan grinned.

"The Uchiha's washing his delicates." he snarked. He winked at Sakura, causing her to giggle.

"Then why did you have to take it out of your rooms?!"

"We would've been too lazy to get them later, un."

Sakura thought of Kisame like he was one of those mommy ducks she sometimes saw by the lake. Even though he was drunk half the time, he would be the one to clean the house and force everyone else to help. As him and the other two argued, Sakura padded over to the ridiculous pile of clothes and marveled at it.

She really wondered how dirty the house would be if Kisame wasn't here. Suddenly, something bright red caught her eye. Sakura pulled it out from the middle of the pile and stared at it confusedly.

"What's this?"

In the midst of the argument, Hidan turned his head and saw what was in Sakura's hand. Air caught in his throat as abruptly exploded in laughter. He smothered his face in a nearby pillow to drown out the sounds of his cackling. Kisame was wide-eyed, and Deidara was mortified.

"Is it... something funny?" Sakura asked. She still had absolutely no clue about what was going on. Deidara hopped off the couch and crouched down in front of Sakura.

"I-It's nothing, Sakura, un! Re-Really!" he stuttered. He took the lacy red bra from her hands and shoved it into his cloak before throwing his head over his shoulder.

"Shut UP Hidan, hm! I bet you're just laughing because I can get laid and you can't!"

Hidan wouldn't stop, his face growing redder and tears streaming from his eyes. Sakura blinked.

"What's 'getting laid' mean?"

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