Akatsuki Babysitters

Kisame and Itachi

Itachi was sitting by the window of the Akatsuki House in Frost Country with a thick book of poetry in one hand and a cup of hot chocolate in the other. His sharingan was turned off and thin framed glasses sat comfortably on his nose. Sakura was out playing in the snow with Deidara and Tobi, lauging cheerily. Mostly at the two idiots.

She really loved hanging around them as they were surprisingly well-versed in dealing with young kids. Itachi... Itachi wasn't sure how to handle someone as young as her. There was a point in his life when he was an older brother. Now, the title was too good for him. He turned his head to look out the window to see that Deidara and Sakura had built Tobi into a snowman.

As Deidara broke down laughing, Sakura caught Itachi's gaze and waved at him amiably. He returned the gesture with a slight incline of his head. Sakura beamed brightly before turning back around to the Tobi-snowman. They played around for another long while before Konan urged them all inside.

"But Mama, why can't we play anymore?" Sakura pouted. Konan smoothed down the girl's hair and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I don't want you getting sick, sweetheart." she replied, straight-faced as ever, "Go take a shower and put on your PJ's."

Sakura nodded happily and trotted down the hallway. When she disappeared into her room, Konan turned to Deidara and Tobi.

"You two have been slated for a mission with Sasori-san and Zetsu-san. Go see Leader-sama."

They nodded at her and walked down the other end of the hallway.

Itachi sat on the couch in the living area, reading a book as he always would. His partner, Kisame, was sprawled across the loveseat with Sakura sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him. She was a glob of Deidara's non-reactive clay in her hands and tried to make a flower. The silence between the three of them was comfortable, and they had no problem with continuing on like this for hours. That is, until, Sakura raised her head to look at Itachi.

"Itachi-san, where to babies come from?"

Kisame, the bastard, didn't even try to hide his peals of laughter. Itachi's eye twitched a few times before he took of his glasses.

"What brought this on, Sakura?" he questioned.

"I dunno. I heard from Deidara-san that babies grow inside mamas' tummies and that the papa puts it there. How does the papa do that?"

Itachi was prepared to give the little girl a full blown speech about the human anatomy, but the cheeky, taunting grin Kisame gave him made him think otherwise. He sighed.

"Sometimes when two people are in a relationship, they decide to have a child. When that happens, the father gives the mother... seeds... and the baby grows in the mother's stomach." he explained. Sakura nodded in understanding and continued to mess around with her clay. Itachi was relieved when she accepted his answer so dutifully. Kisame's second round of laughter certainly wasn't appreciated, but at least she didn't as-

"Can two guys get a baby?"

...

"Well, yes, but-"

"Then why dun' you and Kisame-san get a baby? Don't you have a re-la-tion-ship?" she asked curiously, "So does that mean you put your seed in Kisame-san or is it the other way around?"

Itachi and Kisame shared equally horrified glances.

"We don't have a relationship like that, kiddo." Kisame clarified quickly, throwing down an embarrassed smile, "What Itachi-san means it that when two people like like each other, they you know, get down to business."

"So you two don't like like eachother?"

"NO."

A few days later, Sakura asked the same question to Deidara about him and Tobi.

Deidara choked on his water.

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