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Be My Salvation

By DevilsCrazyWife

Drama / Action

Chapter 1

"Hurry up Dessa, I'm starving!" Grace complained by the door. I threw my crocs into my locker and grabbed my jacket. My first day is only half over and I'm already exhausted! Working in the ER is hectic, fast paced and sometimes chaotic. I'm so glad its time for lunch.

I followed Grace as she nearly bounced down the hall way and out the front doors. She always has boundless amounts of energy.

"I knew working in the ER was going to be difficult but I never realized how hard some of the cases would hit me, you know?" she said as we walked down the street. Our favorite café was only a two minute walk from the hospital.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I had to stitch us a stab victim, he was only 7 years old! It took twenty minutes to suture his lacerations. I wanted to cry the whole time." I sighed flopping down in a metal chair under the bright yellow umbrella on the patio eating area.

"I saw him! His mother was yelling at him for picking some kind of fight at school! Oh and the big accident on that highway! I forgot how much carnage a car accident could cause! Half the people that were brought in didn't even make it to the operating room." She shuddered. We both ordered grilled chicken salads.

"I set quite a few broken bones for the ones who lived. A woman had to be sedated because she lost her husband and had become hysterical. I felt so bad. What do you say to someone like that? How do you tell them that there was nothing you could do to save the one they loved?" I'll never forget the look the woman gave me when I told her how sorry I was for her loss but there wasn't anything we could do for her husband.

"There really isn't anything you could say." Grace pocked moodily at her salad. "All you can do is let them know that you tried to the best o your ability. There isn't anything anyone could say to lessen the pain of losing someone you care about."

"I guess you're right. I just wish there was something I could do, you know? Something that could bring them some comfort, any comfort." We lapsed into rare silence. Grace and I are almost never quiet, especially not when we are together. The waitress had come by and refilled our sodas by the time she spoke again.

"Do you think Josh would go for me?" I couldn't help but laugh. Leave it to Grace to take a semi-serious conversation and shoot it in a whole other direction.

"Josh from pediatrics?"

"Yeah, tall, dark, mysterious and handsome, on top of that he likes kids! He's perfect." She sighed dreamily.

"The idea of him is perfect. You haven't ever spoken to him." I teased her. Over her shoulder I noticed a man headed our direction. He looked…unclean to say the least. He's probably just a homeless guy looking for restaurant leftovers. Some places do that; donate food to those in need.

"Are you even listening to me?" Grace whined. I smiled at her. My best friend, the sister I never had but always wanted.

"Yes Gracey, I am. Hunky, dreamy, kid friendly, I got it. Go on." She rolled her eyes at me but continued gushing about her latest crush. I realized the man was slowing down. He stopped beside our table, twitching slightly and looking very nervous.

"Can I help you?" I asked politely. No need to be rude, he may be lost, or mentally ill. You never know with homeless people. He took his hand out of his pocket and the light of the sun glinted off a reflective surface.

"You can die." He said desperately, his hand shaking. It was a gun. I was startled by a loud bang, and then I registered the pain blossoming from my left side, right next to my collar bone. Part of my mind was focused on the pain, and the growing darkness I was experiencing, as well as the screams I could barley here around me. The analytical part of my brain supplied only one word: Fatal.

My vision blurred and my head swam. I tried to breathe slowly and not panic but I knew it was useless. My medical training told me that. I saw an image of the woman whose husband had died earlier that day. She was wearing my scrubs and standing alone in a sea of darkness.

"I'm sorry," She said, hands clasped before her. "There was nothing we could do…"




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Jean Tryon: As a beta, I found this story outstanding!! Plot, grammar, phraseology, etc Rachel gives us it all. She takes the story into the future from where due South ends. She is an exacting and thoughtful author.

LouiseJ2: I enjoyed the detail you went into with regards to the case. It made the UNSUB appear believable. The crisis in the middle of the story was my favorite part, very dramatic but not over the top. I feel like sometimes pairings can be overdone but I liked that some of the relationships were a little...

Ashley Stryker: So I'm writing this review, keeping in mind that this is a work in progress and it's part of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so my "deeper" critiques will be saved until it's all finished up.+ Chapter One: A stewardess would not talk to anyone quite like that, particularly a clear minor...

M.L. Bull: Hello, Aalia!Your story compelled the emotional pain and struggle of a teenage girl very well.. The imagery was also convincing and well-written, showing the different personalities of your characters and their actions. However, I do think that many of your sentences are too lengthy and could use...

ernbelle: When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...

Deleted User: I've only read so far to the first two chapters, but I already get that thick, underlying meaning of dark romance--which is good, because it sets the tone, with a hint of danger. However, some parts of the writing did come across as a bit dull, and I personally think that starting a second chapte...

Tiffany Thomson: This story is not something I would normally pick up and read but I'm so glad I did, I wasn't able to put it down and my husband was yelling at me at 3am to put it down and go to bed (just waited for him to doze back off before picking it back up) I really hope Natalie brings out another book eit...

ga1984: I really enjoyed it! Characters were deep and plot was pretty complex. A bit on the violent side but it doesnt detract from the story. Very dark but situations make sense. Ends kinda abruptly and later chapters will need some editing work. I'm assuming there's more in the works?

Sonya YuntHatton: Are you going to be posting the rest? I read this when originally posted on Fanfiction. LOVE IT!!! Was so glad when it came our as an original book!! And now the MOVIE!!! Holy Mary I am so excited.....But I'm going to HATE, HATE, HATE the wait for part 2. Please let me know if and when you're goi...

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Jessie: I wrote a review on fanfiction but I thought it would be fitting to write on on here too :) This story was honestly stunning. I am a budding writer myself and to read this- to FEEL this- reminded me of why I am honoured to have this passion and drive for a craft that is just so raw and beautiful.

tyleroakleyfan: thank you for writing this story I loved it. it was great I enjoyed every minute of it I couldn't stop reading you did a fantastic job. Thanks for killing ron he was starting to piss me off. he was being a dick. I love that you made it a gay love story its about time someone did. love it great job.

Leah Brown: This was an amazing read! I was hooked from the very first chapter, holding my breadth to see what would happen next. The characters are rich and vibrant, and the world Danielle has created is fascinating. If you love YA, you MUST read this book. Such a smart, brilliant debut novel. I loved it!

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