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By cbssoapsgirl

Romance / Drama


"Let's not go," Mellie told Fitz. "We can change our minds and not go."

"Is it because Olivia's going to be there? She was cleared an hour ago," Fitz responded. Their limo ride to his birthday party had been quiet up until Mellie didn't want to go. "Buck up, you won. Olivia and I aren't together anymore."

He got out of the car and waved to the onlookers standing behind the fence. He took Mellie's hand and pretended to be in a happy marriage with her like he usually did.

Olivia stood just near the entrance when they pulled up. She walked a bit closer towards the car to get to Cyrus. She was about to change her mind and not go to the party. They weren't together, why would Fitz even want her there? All they did lately was fight or be completely silent to each other.

Liv's stomach was in knots. She wasn't sure why though. Something felt off. Fitz looked like the fake happy husband he always played but something was off. Olivia walked over and found Cyrus.

"I think I'm going to go," she told him. "I shouldn't be here."

"Liv, you came with Edison. He won't even know that you are here. Spend the night with me and James. You'll have fun with us," Cyrus said.

"I'm going home, Cy. I don't know why I decided to come in the first place. It's not the right thing for us. We aren't even speaking. I'll see you tomorrow for lunch though." Olivia headed towards the exit but she had to pass by Fitz. She gave a couple extra feet of distance between them as she walked by.


One gun shot was fired. Instinctively, Olivia ran over to Fitz and pushed him out of the way towards the limo.


She turned to see where Tom and Hal were and where Mellie was. Shoving Fitz to the ground.


The third shot fired just as Fitz was being put in the limo and it was driving off. Olivia fell to the ground. Blood splattered near her head.

She looked back and saw two agents covering Mellie. Cyrus was running towards her followed by James and a couple of agents. Liv tried to get up but her body wouldn't let her. She could hear Cyrus yelling for an ambulance but wasn't able to say anything.

"OLIVIA! STAY WITH ME!" Cyrus yelled at her.

Olivia could feel the paramedics putting her on a stretcher but she couldn't will herself to open her eyes. She really only cared about one thing: that Fitz was alive.

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Alex Reltin: This is a great story! I love how well you go into detail and emotions of Capri, and Mel. You have amazing dialogue and overall it's just a thrill to read!The only critique I could find is that some of the paragraphs should be separated. For example:-"If Nia would have just let me take the car an...

tyleroakleyfan: thank you for writing this story I loved it. it was great I enjoyed every minute of it I couldn't stop reading you did a fantastic job. Thanks for killing ron he was starting to piss me off. he was being a dick. I love that you made it a gay love story its about time someone did. love it great job.

Jessie: I wrote a review on fanfiction but I thought it would be fitting to write on on here too :) This story was honestly stunning. I am a budding writer myself and to read this- to FEEL this- reminded me of why I am honoured to have this passion and drive for a craft that is just so raw and beautiful.

Jean Tryon: As a beta, I found this story outstanding!! Plot, grammar, phraseology, etc Rachel gives us it all. She takes the story into the future from where due South ends. She is an exacting and thoughtful author.

Ashley Stryker: So I'm writing this review, keeping in mind that this is a work in progress and it's part of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so my "deeper" critiques will be saved until it's all finished up.+ Chapter One: A stewardess would not talk to anyone quite like that, particularly a clear minor...

M.L. Bull: Hello, Aalia!Your story compelled the emotional pain and struggle of a teenage girl very well.. The imagery was also convincing and well-written, showing the different personalities of your characters and their actions. However, I do think that many of your sentences are too lengthy and could use...

Alex Rushmer: Although I don't know the story of the Phantom of the Opera, I really enjoyed this story. The writing was very evocative, and it really put a picture of time and setting in my mind. The voice of the story really added to the character development. The idea of the time travelling -- or whatever re...

Alex Rushmer: This was not what I expected, but I enjoyed it a lot Malfoy was always one of the characters that I liked a lot, so I like that a lot of this happens between him and Colette. I read the first couple chapters, and I enjoyed your writing style and am excited to see where you take this story. My com...

Jordan Young: *ALERT FOR POSSIBLE SPOILERS* Where to start? I don't know how to sum up this review, this story was absolutely sensational. Brilliant. Flawless. I loved every single bit of this story, it is truly amazing. I read this story in fifteen hours, it is magnificent. I loved everything about it, the p...

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