Chapter 4: 1x09
I was in a room with Noel, trying to get my mind off Ezra, it didn't look like we were ever going to get back together, so, I could try to move on. Maybe with Noel Kahn, I did have a crush on him.
Noel strummed his guitar.
"Do you play?" I asked, I may have had a crush on him but I didn't know much about him. I started to walk over to him, I had been walking around, looking at stuff in till now.
I put my arm on the chair next to him, leaning into it.
"Shah, it's a secret." He said looking up at me. Secret? Why would playing the guitar need to be a secret? Confusion rushed through me.
"Why?" I asked.
"My parents have this recurring nightmare I'll bail on college and beg for quarters in a subway." I laughed when he said that.
I finally decided to sit down. And as I did he started to play. He was good, I watched his fingers move to different cords. Then something hit me, I recognized it, but from where?
"I know that." I said. Then it hit me, my parents listen to it, or used to. He looked confused.
"My parents listened to it." I explained. "They- They used to."
Thunder was crashing in the background. He had stopped playing and was looking at me in the eyes. Then a huge thunder rumbled. We both looked at the window. I looked back to him.
"Whoa. So intense." I said looking back and forth between the window and him. He looked down at his guitar.
"I could play louder?" He suggested. He started to play again, louder this time. I watched him play again. He looked back and forth between me and what he was doing.
A smile came to my face, I looked down. It reminded me of when my parents were happy and would listen to this song.
My eyes wondered. I could remember the words me and my family would sing when we would listen to.
"Across the evening night." I sang. He looked up at me. I kept singing. "All the birds leaving."
I kept singing the rest of the song.
"I do not count the time.
"For who knows where the time goes.
"Who knows." We looked into each others eyes he didn't need to look at what he was doing and I didn't need to remember the words, it all came natural. While this was happening I remembered why I had a crush on him, and I was nervous like every time I used to see him. But I was also excited, maybe I could get over Ezra.
No matter how I felt I wanted Noel to be him.
"Where the time goes." I sang and he strummed the last note and we both leaned in close. I knew what was about to happen.
Then Noel looked to the side to look at something, I looked to see what he was looking at. Then I saw him in the doorway. Ezra. He was back.
I was extremely happy, he was back, we could be together.
He was back to see me about to kiss another guy. He was disappointed, I know it. I could see it in his face.
We looked at each other. I didn't care, right now I wanted to run to him, say I was sorry, that I liked him more and I wanted to be with him. But I couldn't, not with Noel here, maybe not then.
I wouldn't have been able to get the courage if he wasn't here.
He looked like he was about to say something but couldn't get the words out.
I had just walked in to see Aria about to kiss another guy. Noel Kahn.
I thought she would always be mine. But no, I was gone a week and she was already about to kiss another guy.
Can I see you Aria. I almost said it allowed but I didn't want to risk Noel over hearing us.
Besides, I was kind of happy she was about to kiss another guy. Not because I didn't like her, but because she was able to move on. GO on dates in public, kiss with other people seeing, tell people.
Not like me, she couldn't tell her friends, we had to be in my apartment to be alone, and we could not go anywhere, or show our relationship in public.
I needed an excuse to be there. The storm, everyone was in the library.
"They want everyone in the library." I said. "Safety reasons."
Noel got up, I hadn't realized he put his guitar away, and started to leave. Aria stayed where she was.
"Aria, are you coming?" Noel asked. She doesn't have to come, you don't own her. I wanted to say.
"Um, yeah, yeah, I'll be right down." Aria said standing up. "I just- have to ask a few homework questions."
With that Noel left. Once he was gone I walked in.
"So, you're back." Aria said, I never left so how could I be back?
"I never left." I said putting my bag on the desk.
"you were out. Were you sick?" She asked confused. I walked closer.
"I only ask because you never answered my calls… or my emails."
"I went to New York." I said, it was the truth.
"To.. Deal with family issues." I said, it was a half lie. Yes, there were family issues but I also wanted some space to try to get over her, it didn't work.
"Family issues!" She yelled, she didn't believe me either. I nodded
"My issues." I said, I went to sit down on the desk. "I needed to clear my head."
"Ok, are you clear? Do you know what you want?"
"I interviewed at another school and.."
"So what you want is to not be here at all." She asked. She was mad now. That wasn't why, if I wasn't her teacher, we could go places outside my apartment.
"Will you please let me finish?" I said more calm then I felt. The calmness in my own voice suppressed me.
"Well, I'm sorry I've just gotten used to filling in the blanks as well." She said. "You tell me at homecoming that you got a hair cut for me and then you just fall off the face of the Earth? I spent days thinking about you."
She spent days thinking about me? She thinks I didn't think about her? I thought about her all the time.
"I thought about you every second I was gone." I said getting up and walking to you. "But I also thought about the consequences, the questions from the principal, the school board, your parents."
"We just cant go back to the way it was. Things need to change."
"Yeah, well, they already have." She said and walked out the door. I could hear her crying. I'd hurt her, I try not to do that, but, lately, that seems like all I ever do.