Chapter 5: 1x10
*This episode takes place in 1x10 when Aria's camping for Mona's birthday and is meeting Ezra in his car.*
As I was walking to the car I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Ezra wants me to meet me in the middle of the woods?
Maybe he was apologizing? I doubted it but he could be, and if he was I wasn't sure if I would forgive him or not?
Yes, I want to be with him, but he kept saying he wants to be with me, yet pushing me away. It was painful, him telling me and me knowing he cares for me, but him telling me he doesn't think we should be together.
Then I saw his car, I was getting even more nervous. I could feel my heart start beating faster like it did every time. Hopefully he knew it was me, but who else would be this far into the woods, or this far from the party.
I was completely hidden now one would know it was me.
As I arrived at his car I got even more nervous, of what I wasn't sure.
"Thanks for meeting me." He said as I got in the car and closed the door. I wasn't dire if I should take off my hood. He should know its me, but he might want to see my face. There was also the risk of someone seeing us.
I decided to just take it off. As I did he cleared his throat, I knew he didn't need to. Nervousness maybe? I knew he couldn't be more nervous then I was.
"I don't blame you for being angry." He said after a couple seconds. He was right, I was angry. I couldn't help but notice how awkward we were right now. We were never this awkward around each other, in fact we were never awkward at all. "I deserve it."
Deserve it? He did, but he also deserved a lot more.
"I was a coward." He said. You could say that again. He looked at me for a second before saying, "I should've fought for you."
He was right he should've. So, he was apologizing? Or did he just call me out here to say I was right and that I had a reason to be angry?
I took in what he was saying. Was he sorry? Or just wanting to say he was right? I don't know why but this made me even more angry.
Then I realized if he thought he should've fought for me, why didn't he? If he cared, he would've fought like I did. Not run away like a coward.
"Yeah? Why didn't you?" I asked.
"I was looking for another job so I could leave you, Aria." He said. "I was… looking for you."
At this I finally looked at him. He was looking for me? What did that even mean? If he wanted me, I was right here, he could've came and got me.
"I thought if I resigned from Rosewood we'd have a chance." He said. So, he did want a chance with me? He could've told me this, we would've figured it out. I was getting even more angry.
"Then I saw you with Noel." Noel… Did he not know? I cared about him, not Noel, I no longer have a crush on him. I may be dating him, but I don't think about him the same way I do you. I want to tell him, but then again, I don't, I want him to suffer the way I did. Make him wait, but then I'd have to wait, and that'd be torture for me too. He chuckled. Is this funny? "And… I realized I was being selfish, and if you had a chance of being happy without all the complications…."
Happy? Without the complications? I didn't care if I wasn't happy, I don't care about all the complications! I just want you! I wanted to say, but for some reason all that happened was anger built inside me.
He was being a jerk! He doesn't get to make my choices! He doesn't get to choose how I felt!
"You really are a jerk Ezra," I said. As I did he looked toward me, then, all of a sudden, most of my anger was gone. "you cant just go around deciding how things are supposed to work out. I mean, you don't get to choose how I feel."
I couldn't believe he could just do this, tell me all things that hurt me, when he knew it hurt me! I didn't like telling him these things, but he needed to know the truth.
Maybe, that's what he was doing, just trying to tell me the truth about how he felt. Then, I realized, he didn't, he cared, and he wanted to be with me. He was lying. Then the anger came back.
"Look, whether you believe me or not, I have always been honest with you. But you hiding your feelings for me is just like lying." I told him and he turned his body to me.
"I was wrong." He said. The he leaned close. And just as fast as it went away and came back my anger was gone. I could see the hurt, the beginners for me to forgive him, and how much he cared for me. "Forgive me." He whispered.
I don't know why, but it couldn't. I wanted to, but I couldn't. How close as he was I could easily kiss him, and it took all my power to resist kissing him.
"No." I said, and this was even harder to this. Then he made it worse. He leaned in closer, so close I could feel the breaths he was taking, we were sharing the same air.
"Forgive me." He said so close to my face. I almost felt his lips touch mine, all I wanted was for him to actually touch my lips. Finally I couldn't take, I kissed him with as much passion I had.
The kiss was intense, for the past few weeks, all I wanted, and I was sure he wanted too, was to have our lips on each other. I put my hands on the sides of his face and he put a hand over mine.
Then he put his hand on the side of my face. We broke apart, panting, and as soon as we could we kissed again. This time it was less intense, but I still had the same amount of passion in the kiss.
All I wanted was him. And I knew I could finally have him. I was happy. Now, all I had to do was break up with Noel. Noel. I pushed the thought of him from my mind and focused on Ezra.
*The rest I added in*
After a while we broke apart for good this time.
"I should go." I said panting. We were still inches from each others face.
"Stay." He whispered and before I could respond he kissed me again. The way he kissed me, I almost did stay, but I knew Spencer, Hanna, and Emily would be looking for me.
"I cant." I said when we broke from the kiss. "They will be looking for me."
"Ok, I'll see you later." He said gave me a quick kiss. I put my hoodie on and got out of the car.
I made sure my head was down and that I was quite. I heard Ezra's car start and leave behind me.
The entire walk back I thought about Ezra and the kiss we shared. Again, I was happy.