No Such Thing as Psychics


Story 1: Shawn is in an accident and a mysterious doctor changes his life forever. Meanwhile private investigator Mick St. John stalking the vampire and trying to get him, before he gets to Shawn.

Humor / Horror
Age Rating:

Waking the Undead

"Damn it!" Shawn swore as he weaved his Norton in and out of packed LA traffic. "Jules is gonna kill me if I am late again." He was going to be at least ten minutes late as it was, but dealing with more Yahoos on the road than he was used to in Santa Barbara was really trying his nerves.

He glanced at himself in his side mirror, disappointed he had to wear a helmet tonight, because he'd gotten his short brown hair perfect this morning. But if Juliet found out he didn't put it on, she would have Carlton Lassiter, her partner, shoot him. Carlton had made it very clear he'd have no problem with that scenario.

Shawn smiled. It was going to be a great night. He had asked Jules out to a fancy restaurant in LA after finishing up catching a murderer and extraditing him back to Santa Barbara for processing. "Might as well have some fun while psychically solving a murder." he had said and he was pretty sure Gus wouldn't mind if he used his credit card for such a good cause.

He had also promised Juliet that this was going to be his last ride on his bike. He had a plan to go car shopping with Gus this next Tuesday and to pick out something sensible but sexy, and definitely the color green. He might even make it their company car. An actual "Psychmobile."

As he was momentarily lost in thought, an SUV ran a red light and sped right in his path. Shawn's eyes widened in terror a second before he instinctively laid the bike on its side to slow it down.

The impact wasn't as hard as Shawn thought it was going to be, but it was hard enough. His shoulder hit the passenger door of the vehicle leaving a Shawn sized dent in it. The pain momentarily caused him to black out.

When he came to he was laying on the pavement with a paramedic standing over him. "Sir! Sir! Can you hear me?" Shawn looked at the guy's name tag, Stu.

"Yeah. Did anyone get the license number of that guy on the motorcycle?"

Stu the paramedic looked puzzled, "But sir you were..."

"It was a joke." Shawn shook his head. No one had a sense of humor. He was going to tell the guy that, but he started to feel very dizzy. "What's wrong with me? I just hit my shoulder..."

Stu shook his head, "You lost a lot of blood, the mirror on the door cut you as you hit it and it left a large gash on your arm. We're taking you to the hospital. "

"I uh..." Is all Shawn got out. Lifting his head slightly, he saw the paramedic look closer at his arm and the pool of blood spreading from it. "That's not supposed to happen…" he said groggily as his eyes rolled in the back of his head and his head hit the pavement.

As he was blacking out he heard Stu say, "Emergency! He is going into shock!"


Shawn opened his eyes. It was night and he was alone in a hospital room. His arm hurt badly and he could barely move. "Aw, God." He whined as he tried to adjust his position. He expected to see Juliet or someone waiting by his bedside when he woke up but his room was empty and with the exception of a couple tiny lights over the bed it was dark.

Looking at the white board containing his patient information, he saw that his doctor was named Dr. Grey. Shawn would have giggled at the name and what TV show it implied except for the fact that got freaked out by Patrick Dempsey, and so did not feel like going there right now. The board also said he was under observation and could not receive visitors at the time. "Well, that explains why Juliet and Gus are not here." He said to himself. His dad must not be at the hospital yet because he knew: A. Hospitals usually make exceptions for immediate family to visit… and B. His father Henry Spencer could make them let him in just by claiming it was police business.

He glanced around his bed and saw that he had two IV's one was pumping blood, the other was pumping morphine. "Dad better let me keep the pain killers this time." His father had a habit of pulling pain medication when he figured it wasn't worth it.

One of the machines next to him started to beep. He looked and saw the blood bag was almost empty. Apparently he lost a lot of it from his arm wound and saw that he had gotten other smaller cuts from the road. It was less than a minute before a male doctor walked into the room with a cart. Shawn could see it was one of those refrigerated carts for blood deliveries.

"So, Patch Adams, are you going to rub my toes and sing me to sleep?" Shawn smirked in his charming way. The man ignored him. He loomed over the cart for a moment, seemingly making some sort of decision. Eventually he reached in, took a new bag of blood out, and approached Shawn's bed.

Despite the psychic's witty attempts at conversation and asking how long he had been there, the doctor stayed silent as he attached the new blood bag to Shawn's IV. and made sure everything was connected before he started the blood drip. Shawn sighed, "Well thank you for the great conversation. You really do have a wonderful bedside manner."

Shawn's comment seemed to get a reaction out of the man. He turned around, looked at him and cryptically said, "You will be fine now." The doctor then pushed his cart through the door and out of the room with no further explanation.

"Okay, sufficiently creepy. I'm impressed." Shawn sighed and laid his head back down. He looked over at the new blood bag. His observant nature instantly zeroed in on the difference between this bag and the other bag of blood he had been getting. This one had a different label and did not specify blood type or hospital of origin. "What the..." He was about to press the call button when a burning pain shot through his arm, traveling up and into his chest.

Shawn's head fell back and monitors around him started beeping all at once. He suddenly couldn't breathe and started to seize. Nurses ran into the room followed by doctors. Shawn wanted to tell them about the blood bag but he was beyond communicating now as they were trying to shove a tube down his throat to get him oxygen. Shawn fought to stay conscious but his eyes started to flutter closed. Before they did he saw the heart monitor attached to him, and it was flat lined.


Shawn came awake slowly. It took him a couple minutes to realize he was still in the hospital and by the darkness outside the window it was night. His head felt like a Mack truck had backed over it repeatedly and he was incredibly thirsty. "How long have I been out...?"

He tried to sit up and realized his mistake, "OW." Shawn found out just how stiff he was. "I guess quite a while." He carefully propped himself up on his elbows and glanced around the room noticing that he was no longer alone.

His dad was sitting in a chair close to the bed while Gus was lying down on the very uncomfortable looking bench seat near the window. Shawn was honestly happy they were there and he cleared his throat to hold back any ‘unmanly' emotions.

Henry stirred at the noise Shawn was making so he decided to stay still. How can they sleep with the light on anyway, don't they turn these things off at night? Shawn thought. The memory of what happened earlier suddenly snapped back into his mind and he immediately turned to see the blood bag hanging next to his bed. It looked like the regular hospital blood bags but was close to empty.

A nurse walked in only a few seconds later and her presence woke both Gus and Henry. "Oh, I am sorry Mr. Guster, Mr. Spencer. I didn't mean to wake you but I have to refill Shawn's transfusion bag. They seem to be emptying pretty quickly."

Being the subject of the conversation they all turned their attention to Shawn who gave a feeble wave.

"Shawn" Henry sounded exasperated but relieved, "How long have you been up?"

"Only long enough to know I really really want a pineapple smoothie." He grinned, trying to look cute. When his father gave him a disapproving stare Shawn relented. "…or maybe just some water." He said in a croaky voice.

The nurse smiled and turned towards the light switch, "Let's get this on so I can see you better to change out the blood."

Shawn cocked his head and noticed the light switch was on the off position. "Where is all that light coming from then?" he puzzled just before going blind as the overhead fluorescents flickered on.

"GAH! Who turned on the sun?" Shawn hollered as he covered his face with his hands, "Someone fire the electric guys! They mistakenly installed 2000 watt bulbs!"

"They are called electricians Shawn, and I am sure there is no such thing as a 2000 watt light bulb." Gus corrected.

Through his hands a muffled voice came out, "I've heard it both ways!"

Henry, being the rational one turned off the light and went over to Shawn's side. He looked at the nurse, "Is being this light sensitive normal?"

The nurse, a bit shocked by the experience, shook her head, "It could be a side effect of his seizures. We think that it may have been an accidental dose of something other than his blood type and he had a strong reaction to it. We were lucky to save him."

Blinking the spots out of his eyes, Shawn looked up at his dad, "Where is the doctor that gave me that blood? It wasn't the regular hospital blood pack was it?"

"What did he look like?" the nurse asked while she connected the blood bag, concern was very evident in her voice.

"About 5'11", medium length brown hair, slight facial hair, kind of a young Vigo Mortensen in a hospital garb. I caught a very creepy vibe from him."

Gus narrowed his eyes and asked, "Christopher Walken creepy or Crispin Glover creepy?"

"Javier Bardem from ‘No Country for Old Men' creepy." Shawn widened his eyes at Gus, who returned the look back to him. Javier Bardem was the ultimate on their creepy-scale. It was a very intricate and detailed chart and going straight to the top was almost unheard of and saved for individuals such as Yin, Yang, and the guy who delivers papers to their office.

"Mr. Spencer," The nurse interrupted, "we do have a doctor matching that description working here, but he didn't show up for work today. I will inform hospital Security immediately." With that she ran out the door leaving a confused trio of guys in her wake.

"How are you feeling now Shawn?" Henry asked kneeling next to the bed.

Shawn pouted, "Still thirsty and she forgot to give me my smoothie."

Gus went over to the sink and poured some water in a cup, "We'll get you a smoothie later, right now you just need to rest." He handed the cup to Shawn who drank it in almost one gulp and instantly spit it all back out.

He then went into a painful coughing spasm, gasping for breath. "Shawn you shouldn't drink it so fast! Breathe kid!" Henry patted Shawn on the back.

*Gasp* "What..." *Cough* *Cough* "What was in that water?" *Cough* "Tasted horrible."

"We'll try to get you some purified water once the nurse comes back. Take it easy next time kid." Scolded Henry.

Catching his breath Shawn realized something, he'd been using his arm, and it had stopped hurting. He figured it must be the pain killers. He remembered the paramedic say something about why he had to be given transfusions. "You lost a lot of blood, the mirror on the door cut you as you hit it and it left a large gash on your arm." Turning his attention to his bandages Shawn started looking and poking at them.

Gus slapped his hand away. "Shawn, don't do that! They told us they finally got you to stop bleeding!"

Shawn gave him a glare and said, "I just want to see how bad it is." and continued to mess with the gauze only to have his hand slapped again, this time by his father.

He was about to glare and make a witty comeback when a doctor walked in the door and noticed him messing with the gauze. "Please don't touch that Mr. Spencer, can I call you Shawn?"

Shawn nodded, "And I believe you have already met my dad Henry, and my business partner Slim McPickens."

Gus jumped in before the doctor could greet him as "Slim." "Burton Guster sir."

The doctor nodded and continued, "I am sure you must be confused about what has all happened to you Shawn." The young man nodded, "Well, you’ve been here for two days already. You were in a high speed accident on your motor cycle and you collided with an SUV. Your right side smashed against the driver's side door and a piece of the mirror cut into your brachial artery. The artery pumps major amounts of blood to your arm and you ended up almost bleeding out on the street. Luckily the ambulance got there when it did. As it was we have had to give you multiple blood transfusions in order to stabilize you." The doctor pointed to the bag connected to Shawn. "Unfortunately it looks like someone came in and gave you the wrong blood. We’re still trying to figure out who this person on our staff was but security has been notified and is on the lookout for the doctor matching the description you gave."

"So what you’re telling me is that some random guy came in and was able to hook Shawn up to God knows what and was just able to walk out?" Henry angrily interjected. "How do we know my son is safe here?"

The doctor held up his hands in a pacifying gesture, "I assure you Mr. Spencer, we have everyone we can spare working on finding who did this. For now, let’s just worry about how Shawn is doing."

"How long have I been out?" Shawn groaned as he tried to push himself higher on the bed so he could sit up. The light was really hurting his head and everything seemed to be a bit too loud.

The doctor moved closer and Shawn was finally able to see his name tag. Doctor Grey. "It has been more than a day. You are probably going to experience weakness for a while. We’re still trying to assess the damage to your body."

As the Doctor approached, Shawn caught a scent he could not recognize. It was hard to describe other than a musty chemical smell. "What cologne are you wearing doctor?"

"I'm not wearing any cologne Shawn. I did, however, just come from the lab and when you are down there it does have a slight scent."

Shawn put his hands to his head and closed his eyes. Without realizing why, he took a long sniff. He suddenly saw the doctor talking with someone, a man. He couldn’t distinguish any features though. "You talked to someone about what was found in the blood I was given." It was like Shawn could see what he smelled. Not unlike how he uses his photographic memory but he had never seen the lab at all and was almost able to describe it.

"That is correct Mr. Spencer, err... Shawn. I heard you were psychic but it is very impressive seeing it in person."

Gus and Henry looked knowingly at each other but stayed silent.

"So what is the consensus?" Shawn said putting fake sadness into his voice. "Will I lose the arm doc? Don’t sugar coat it. It can take the truth!" Despite his joking, he was doing his best to not shudder when he pictured himself without an arm.

"No, you won’t lose the arm." The doctor said shaking his head. He started to remove the bandages, "You will have to have physical therapy once it heals..."

As the last of the bandages came off the doctor hesitated and looks at Shawn's forearm with a mixture of puzzlement and terror. "This can’t be…."

The three men saw the doctor’s face and reacted in their own special ways, Gus started crying, Shawn screamed like a girl, and Henry asked, "What? Is it infected?"

Dr. Grey shook his head in disbelief, ignoring the cries and screams to answer Henry's question.

"Mr. Spencer. There is nothing wrong with his arm."


Catching a familiar scent, Mick St. John sighed as he opened the door to his apartment. It had been another long day and he was looking forward to taking Beth, his girlfriend of four years, out for the night. Being a vampire, he wouldn’t have anything himself but they were used to it and he did enjoy going out for a bit and relaxing.

As he entered the apartment the scent grew stronger. "What are you doing here Josef?" Mick said with unhidden annoyance. The other vampire had a bad habit of turning up and drinking all his blood, even though he claimed he did not like the type. "I have plans to take Beth out tonight and I have to get going."

Josef Kostan, a very old vampire and Mick’s best friend smirked and rose from the chair he sat in. He had an easy smile that could charm anyone but Mick was used to it and continued to scowl despite the display. "You know I’m all for nookie as much as the next vampire but we have a problem." His expression changed and became uncharacteristically serious. "It is a rogue, Mick."

Mick froze and really looked at Josef. The look of concern on his face was odd because in the years Mick had known him he was hardly ever this concerned, with anything. Rogues were serious business in the vampire world. Their existence as a race depended on secrecy. Needless to say, when mad vampires ran around murdering people, it was a bad thing.

Mick took a deep breath. "How many people has he killed?"

Josef grumbled and paced. "The problem is he hasn’t killed anyone! He's turning them and they are killing people. The cleaners put down three so far. I was able to save one before he went feral, caught him early." Josef took a swig of the glass blood he was holding. "He was able to give me some information about what happened. He was injured, dying in a hospital in town when he said someone came into his room and that was the last thing he knew. Due to his injury he was getting transfusions which helped him not go crazy and eat everyone. I checked the other three we put down and it was the same thing. All dying in hospital, but minus the blood part."

Mick ran his fingers through his hair and leaned on the counter. "How many more do you think there are?"

"From what our contacts in the hospital say, only one more. Miraculous recoveries are kind of a rarity, especially ones where major wounds heal overnight." Josef pulled out an envelope and handed it to Mick. "Here is the information they were able to nab on the guy. While you go find him, I’m going to go after the rogue."

"Really, huh…" Mick raised his eyebrows.

"Is there something you would like to share with the class smart alec?" Josef gave his friend an incredulous look.

"Nothing, just remembering how you said you were a lover and not a fighter. I’m just surprised you’re not going to hire someone to find the rogue for you." Mirth dripped from Mick’s words.

"I did hire someone, you. But your problem is that you cannot be in two places at once, and now I have to get my hands dirty." Josef looked at his hands with a pout. "I just got my cuticles done too."

Shaking his head and looking at the paper with the information Mick wondered aloud, "Do you think we’ll be able to get to him in time?"

"Maybe, but it's been almost two days. So we can guarantee he's experiencing horrible blood lust by now. We have to hope his will is strong enough, or that he is the most stubborn person in the universe."

"So, if he can’t be saved it is a cleanup mission? You need me to put him down too?"

"Use your judgment, if you believe he hasn’t gone off the deep end bring him in, otherwise yes, you will have to put him down. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a rogue to catch." He paused for a moment, "Rogue hunter. Sounds sexy don’t you think?" the smirk was back on Josef’s face. "Take care and don’t get dead." With that piece of advice, Josef walked out of the apartment, setting the empty glass of blood on the table before doing so.

Mick grabbed a glass of blood for himself and paced his apartment. He would have to call Beth and cancel. She’d understand though. She knew how dangerous rogues could be because the last time he had one for a case she was right beside him.

She would probably want to come with me. He thought to himself but he didn’t know how dangerous this case would be and was scared she would get hurt.

He took another look at the name and medical description on the paper Josef handed him. It wasn’t much but was enough to find him in the hospital. "Shawn Spencer: 5’10", 172 lbs, brown hair, hazel eyes."
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