Chapter 1 - Back We Go
You squint against the vibrant colour and blinding light as the familiar rush of air whips around your hair. It isn’t long until you’re thrown from the portal into a lush green courtyard. Staggering to your feet you take in the surroundings. Everything looked the same, grand stone architecture stood in front of the imposing golden palace that rose to join the clear blue sky. It had been years since you’d seen this sky.
It was purely accidental when you first discovered one of the hidden portals during a game of hide and seek and landed in the lap of Loki, God of Mischief. He’d taken the surprise of having a seven-year-old girl nearly bowl him over quite well. No Midgardian had ever managed to set foot in Asgard and yet there you were staring up at him with big y/e/c eyes; he had to know you.
“Hello, there little one…” His deep melodic voice was soothing but you quickly scrambled to your feet away from the man.
“W-w-where am I? Who-who are you?” You stammered in response.
A lazy grin spread across his pale features as he tilted his head to the side.
“This.” He gestured widely his surroundings. “Is Asgard, and I am Loki; Prince of Asgard.”
Loki noticed the panic that had seeped into your expression and how your small hands fisted the fabric of your clothes.
“It was nice to meet you, Your Majesty, but I really need to go home now.” You bobbed awkwardly while curtsying before whirling around to go back the way you came, except you couldn’t.
You stare in horror at the flowering bush in front of you. Where was the banking that led up to the park? Turning to once again face Loki, you tried to slow your uneven breathing.
“Where are you from little one?” He asked softly while kneeling to match your height.
“Mummy said I’m not allowed to talk to strangers.” You retort almost defiantly; his grin grows a little.
“But you know who I am, so are we not friends?” His eyes twinkle.
“You don’t know me.” You raised your chin in his direction.
“Well, I’d very much like to change that,” Loki replied matching your stare.
You hadn’t intended to keep talking to the man but his mild-mannered ways set you at ease in this alien setting, he’d offered to be a friend. At first, you hadn’t been very trusting but the green-eyed prince had tricks up his sleeve and you were back to your bright self in no time.
The same routine had continued for years, once or maybe even twice a week you would venture back through the portal to meet the raven-haired prince. He taught you the history of his world, the wonders of the other realms and anything he could think to keep you coming back so he could watch you grown both in mind and body.
The last time you had seen Loki, it had been the day after your 18th birthday, you’d lied to your parents about going to the city with a group of friends for a day out, and that you would be gone all day. When in actual fact you were going to take a trip through the portal to see your favourite silver-tongued prince. The day had started out as they always did with you telling Loki about all that had happened since you’d last seen him, and him doing the same.
You and Loki sat together in your secret hiding place with your shoulders almost touching. You listened intently to the story he was reading you after he had learnt about your love of books, he had insisted on reading some of his favourites to you every time you visited.
Eyes closed you tip your head back enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun’s rays against your skin. Today had been perfect. Your eyes shoot open at the sound of Loki snapping the book shut.
“Why did you stop?” You ask, confused.
“It is almost time for you to go Y/N” He gestured towards the sky with the book, looking up you noticed how the sky had changed from its pristine blue to a wash of pinks and oranges.
“Oh,” you continued to stare up at the sky, wishing you had more time.
Loki chuckled softly beside you, even though you would be visiting again soon, you had always hated leaving. He offered you a hand as he stood. You placed your hand his much larger one; his warm fingers holding onto yours tightly. You cast a fleeting glance at your intertwined hands and felt heat begin to pool in your cheeks as you walked back towards the portal.
Over the years, as you both had grown closer and spent more time together, Loki had become more of a crush. He was always the perfect gentleman; sweet and caring. Silently you cursed your love of romantic fiction for giving you otherworldly expectations of men. No boy you had ever shown interest in had treated in ways that would make your teenage heart flutter. But then there was Loki. Tall, handsome, intelligent, and a god. As you had approached your 18th birthday you had begun to hope he would see you in a womanlier light, and eventually as something more than the little girl he had first met.
An idea popped into your head, it was daring and maybe slightly reckless, but you knew that sometimes you had to ask for what you wanted. You looked over your shoulder at the portal before turning back to face Loki frowning slightly.
“Don’t fret Y/N, you will be back again soon enough,” He smiled down at you “I’ll see if I can get you some of the Queens favourite fruit next time.”
He didn’t have to offer gifts or treats to keep you coming back, he was the reason, you just weren’t sure if he realised it.
You stepped into the goodbye hug he offered and inhaled his familiar smell deeply as you nuzzled your head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you holding you close. You do the same, gripping onto him a little tighter than usual, preparing yourself for what you were about to do.
You step back slightly making Loki loosen his embrace until he held you by your shoulders. You could feel the warmth of his skin radiating through the fabric of your t-shirt, it sent butterflies surging through your stomach. You take a fortifying breath before pushing up onto your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his, stealing a kiss.
Your lips tingle as you move away, satisfied and pleased that he hadn’t stopped you or pushed you away. You grin as you look at Loki again, but it falters at his blank expression, his green eyes are wide and unblinking as he stares at you.
“Y/N…” He sighs dropping his arms, his voice was devoid of its former warmth.
You feel like you have cotton wool stuck in your throat as he looks. You can see his mind working, searching for the right words to say. Heat creeps up your neck, physically displaying your embarrassment. When he finally looks at you, his brows are pinched together.
“Y/N, I’m not sure what you are hoping for, but I can promise you that I am not it.” Your eyes begin to burn as tears form. “We are two entirely different creatures.” He speaks softly to you, seeing how you become more upset.
“How do I explain this?” He sighs again and you drop your eyes to stare intently at your shoes as warm tears roll down your cheeks. “You and I, we are like a fish and a bird… two vastly different animals. Able to exist together and be friends but, never anything more.”
You sniff, still not bringing your eyes up to look at his.
“Y/N,” he hooks a finger under your chin making you look at him, his expression wilts when he notices your tears. “I’m sorry, I’m not the one you should give your love to, you would only end up getting hurt… I’m not-“
“I understand.” You blurt cutting him off before he continued to make it even more painfully obvious how silly you had been. “I have to go, it’s late.”
Your steps are hurried as you head towards the portal, your diaphragm spasms, making your breath come out in short puffs as you will yourself not to breakdown.
“Take care, Y/N” Loki calls his usual goodbye as you step through the portal.
As you arrive again in your own world, the sob you had been suppressing breaks free. Alone in the deepening blue of the evening sky, you made the decision to never journey back through the rabbit hole. Raising your head, you chose to remember things how they were – friendship with silent fantasies.
That way Loki could, and would always be your Prince Charming.
I hope you enjoyed the first part, let me know what you think!
