Kenzi arrived at the hospital only to see Bo sitting on a sidewalk near her bike. It was her third day finding her best friend there. Bo didn't manage to get a leave from the army and she would come straight here after leaving barracks. Kenzi got a couple burgers with her, and sat next to Bo. According to Ciara who was the only one they could get some info, Lauren was doing better, she was checked by therapists and she was fine, apparently she was moved to pathology because her blood mark was still low, but other than that, she was doing ok. Kenzi asked Ciara to give Lauren her love and hugs and that they were right there if she wanted to see them Ciara said she would do that, but she didn't call back after that. They didn't talk since yesterday and Kenzi was guessing Lauren told her not to talk to them or something.
As the days went by, Kenzi was starting to see how things escalated so much and how she behaved like an ass to Lauren. She covered Bos lies and provided excuses for her. Lauren has been so nice to me.
"I got you a burger"
"Well you seem to be thirsty a lot" pointing at the beer Bo was holding on her hand.
"You got any news?"
"Ciara didn't say anything?"
"I called her back, but she isn't answering"
"I bet they are trying to influence Lauren against me"
"They? Who they?"
"That bitch Nadia and her family"
"Bo, they don't have to do anything, we did everything by ourselves"
"We did nothing"
"Fuck it Bo, you cheated on Lauren, I covered your, she knows everything don't you get this?"
"Lauren loves me, I would explain to her. I just need to see her and be with her and she would understand" Kenzi mumbled something.
"I said I am not that positive"
"That's why I want to see her, I bet they are telling her stuff about me, to keep her away from me, and not see me"
"Oh please Bo, the way Lauren is, i doubt she told anyone what happened"
Kenzi looked around them. They were sitting at the parking lot sidewalk, holding burgers and drinking beer. She smiled.
"Looks like we are back on the streets Bobo" Kenzi hugged her friend, but Bo wasn't smiling.
"You need to get a grip Bo. If you want to get Lauren back. Drinking and being in denial its not going to help you and her family watching you like that? They don't need Nadia to tell them what they see"
"I am with Lauren, we didn't break up. She is mine and I don't care what her family thinks, she isn't close to them, she is with me. I know that when she gets better she is gonna ask for me" Kenzi looked at her friend with disbelief. She was still denying the simple truth, that Lauren is probably hating them both right now and chances are she would never want to see them again.
"Bo wake up please, why you think she did this? I dunno how the fuck she got to know about your fucking around but she does and you need to face the facts"
"The only fact I know is that she loves me and whatever is that she knows, I would explain to her that it was nothing"
"So now you believe in love? After all that crap you told Lauren?" Her friend didn't answer.
"Bo are we supposed to wait out here all day? I don't know why you are coming here? They aren't going to call you in and if Lauren asks about you I am sure she can tell Ciara and she would call us". As Kenzi continued to tell Bo, Ciara walked out of the hospital, they saw her and both go up and walked towards her.
"Hi" Ciara looked at them with eyes that could kill. She knows, Kenzi thought.
"You got any news? How is Lo? Is she better? Is she up? Did she say anything?"
Ciara didn't answer Bo. Instead she turned towards Kenzi.
"Lauren is doing great, she is up and getting stronger."
"That's good to hear" Kenzi said
"Thank God, I can see her…" Bo didn't quiet finish her line.
"Actually I told her about you guys and that you send your best wishes and that cant wait to see her and, she doesn't want to see you"
Kenzi lowered her eyes.
"That's a fucking lie and I know who puts you to say that, I am going to see her no matter what"
"What happened Bo? Its clear that now Lauren is ok that something happened between you two, I told her how worried you are and that you stay here outside the hospital for 3 days in a row and she said she doesn't want to see you guys ever, wtf happened? She got upset and her parents had to tell me to not mention your name again"
"I don't believe you, there is no way Lauren wont want to see me, she loves me"
Bo was really mad, she turned and walked away, she got in her bike and left.
Kenzi was silent all this time.
"What happened? There is no way Lauren wont want to see Bo if nothing happened, the moment I mentioned your names, she got so upset, I regretted telling her about you"
"Did you ask Lauren?"
"She didn't say anything, just that she doesn't want to see you ever again"
Kenzi lowered her head, she didn't have any doubt Lauren knew about Bos cheating, she had a fade hope that it was something else, but this was confirmation that she knew and that Kenzi also played a role.
"Bo did something?"
"Its their issue Ciara, not mine to explain. If Lauren don't want to tell you, then I cant tell you either. I only ask you one thing, you can do it for me if you want"
"Tell me if I can"
"Since we cant see Lauren, I want to pass a message on her, are you willing to give her a letter from me, please Ciara, can you do that for me?
"Well I will but if she doesn't want to read it and give it back?"
"Then nothing, you give it back to me, but I want to try and at least explain some things to her"
"Ok, let me know when you have the letter ready" Kenzi hugged Ciara.
Kenzi got home, Bo wasn't there. She could guess her best friend was outside the hospital again, waiting for a chance or a way to see Lauren. That would give her a little time to write what she wanted to Lauren. She went to her bedroom and got a paper and a pen.
"Dear Lauren or Doc or Hotpants or Lo, excuse me for the mistakes on this letter but as you know I am not so educated
First of all I want to say I am so happy that you are ok, and that I love you very much as a friend and in my selfish way I am so happy that I didn't lose you. Then I want to apologize and say I am sorry that I have been such a coward and cover for Bo in whatever she was doing. There is no excuse, since the past months you and I have become very close friends and you treated me so kind and good. Now don't get mad for what I am going to ask you. Can you please agree to meet Bo for one last time?
Before you answer I want to tell you this. I don't know how many things Bo told you about our old life but whatever you think or suspect or told you, things were about 100 times harder for her. Its some things that she can only tell you but for me, you have to understand that she is been like a father and a mother to me, she protected me and saved my life numerous times while we were both together on the streets. In our lives we only had each other to count on.
And of course the past months we also had you. But there is a big difference with you. You are different. You treated us with respect and care and love. You see you come from a different backround and that was a huge surprise for us and imagine for Bo with whom you also are with, you know what I mean fucked and sharing the same bed. People like us, we never get to hang out with people like you. And even more people like you treat people like us like trash. I don't know if you understand what I am trying to say.
And now to the main reason why I didn't tell you abou Bo. The past month or so Bo has been so happy, yeah I know this sounds like a lie if you think what she was doing but its true. I just couldn't tell you what was happening because I didn't want her to lose you. I want to say you are the most important person in her life and she doesn't know how to react to you, because you are so different from what she and I are used to. In my selfish way I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to lose you either. Because throu Bo I got to know you too and got to be best friends, and you never cared much about who I was and my past and stuff. Again I don't know how to explain things further. Now that you know, I cant imagine what you must feel. We both betrayed you and play a number on you. Please, i ask you just meet Bo for one time and hear her out. Please? She really loves you, she always doubted about love and now you should see how sure she is that you love her. Please, see her. And if you want and ever forgive me in 2-5-10 years, please call me, and if you ever want, I can come over by your house? We miss you very much and love you. And don't be angry with Ciara for doing this for me. I pressured her. Thank God you are ok Lo.
It was 6 in the morning, Kenzi got out of her bedroom to find Bo drinking coffee.
"Did you have aany sleep?"
"Ciara said anything else?
"No she didn't"
"How about we go from the bakery to get some breakfast and then head to the barracks?"
"I am not that hungry. Sooner we are at the barracks the sooner we leave"
"What if Lauren doesn't want to see us? Ever again?"
"She loves me Kenz"
"Damn Bo, she loved you before she found out what you were doing. Cant you understand that?"
"Are you ready? We need to go."
Kenzi walked behind her friend, shutting the door. She had her letter in her bag, she texted Ciara and told her she had the letter ready and if she could give it to Lauren this afternoon but she was starting to feel unsure about asking for a meeting between Bo and Lauren. It was clear Bo was still in denial, and she didn't want Lauren to be more upset or hurt.
So sick with hospital food Lauren thought. She was starting to miss Kenzis take outs. Lauren smiled. The most unhealthy and greasy food evaaa Kenzi used to say. Lauren was ok, she was feeling strong, she looked at her arms, her hands, the mark in her veins. She still couldn't believe what happened. The past 4 days she was talking with a therapist and it was clear that her action was more frustration and anger than a try to kill herself. That and an unhealthy admiration of blood, Lauren smiled again. Then she thought about Bo. Her family informed her about Bos visit, and their impression of her, her mum called her a street druggie while her dad was sure Bo was taking money from her. Lauren didn't care to answer, she was already tired of them and their snubish comments. She also made clear to Nadia that she wasn't in a mood for a Bo hatefest. She decided that she was going to take a big leave and just travel for awhile, travel, cook, swim, just chill. Find herself again. Science was taking so much of herself, she could see that now. As she could see that she allowed herself to be lost in Bo. She had to keep a backup. She was done with Bo. She was going to move on. I deserve so much better Lauren said to herself. I deserve the best.
"…as you can understand everybody is missing you so much"
"Thank them all for their best wishes and when I feel ready, I would make sure to thank them by myself"
"You know Lauren, there is something I want to give you before I leave"
"What is it? Tell me you sneaked a sweet or a brownie or something because I am so sick of the food"
"Oh, I ll make sure I would bring you tomorrow, gonna hide it in my bag, I am sure your mum wont search there lol"
"So what is it?"
Ciara opened her bag and gave Lauren a letter.
"Its from Kenzi, she asked me to give it you"
Lauren got the letter and looked at the closed envelope.
"I don't know what happened between you guys but they are both outside the hospital everyday asking for you"
"I know, Dad tells me everytime, he thinks Bo is begging for drugs or something"
They both smiled.
"I am sorry if this would upset you but I couldn't deny Kenzi, she really begged me to give it to you"
"Ok Ciara" Ciara kissed her friend on the cheek and left.
It was 4 am in the morning, Kenzi was sleeping until she felt a buzz on her hand. Since what happened with Lauren, she would keep her mobile close with her every night, Bo was disappearing at nights and she wanted to keep her phone close so she wont miss a call or a message. Half awake she checked her phone.
"Tell Bo she can come and see me tomorrow afternoon"
Kenzi must have read that message a thousand times, She read it and read it and read it. She called her friend. Strangely enough Bo was in her bedroom, laying, Kenzi got up and rushed there, she found Bo wearing laurens sweatpants.
"She wants to see you"
"She texted me, she wants to see you"
"Yeah, she wants to see you"
"Bo jumped from her bed and started getting dressed.
"Not now, its 4 in the morning for fucks sake"
"Tomorrow" Bo grabbed the phone from Kenzis hand, she read the message and started kissing the screen.
"I told you, she loves me Kenz" They hugged each other.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxBo spend her day at home. She called sick. She had a bath, made her hair, changed about 10 outfits. Kenzi managed to sit her down, a couple hours before she meets Lauren.
"What are you going to say to her Bo?"
"I don't know, probably kiss her 100 times and hold her, not sure we would talk, probably try and fuck…"
"Are you crazy? Get a grip!What are you doing to say to her? You need to apologize Bo, beg, get on your knees and beg forgiveness, say you were on drugs, I don't know, that you were crazy, insane, find something"
Bo was looking at her friend.
"You aren't going to apologize?" Kenzi was looking at her like mad.
"Of course I am going to apologize. I ll make sure she knows I love her and she is the number one for me and that the others meant nothing and it was just a fuck and…"
Kenzi was silent. She wasn't sure this was a good idea. In fact she was already starting to regret this.
"Bo you need to tell Lauren about yourself"
"That's the only way she would forgive you"
"She knows about me"
"No she doesn't. You need to tell her about what happened in your life"
"Look Bo, this is serious. You got to tell her"
"I don't need to tell her anything. I made a mistake, she loves me, I can understand she is angry, she wants to see me, that means she is forgiving me already"
"Bo please. You have to tell her. That's the only way she would understand you"
"Kenzi I don't know why you bring this up? That was someone else, it was another lifetime, its over, i wont tell Lauren anything, she doesn't need to know"
Bo was holding flowers in her hands. She loved flowers. She entered the hospital holding them, she got to wear her tight black pants and tank top and black boots and leather jacket. She noticed at the nurse who was looking at her at the reception, Bo smiled at her, see bitch? I told you I am the girlfriend, she would see me. She got in the elevator and reached Laurens floor, Ciara told her she was in room 305, pathology, it wasn't hard to find, her parents and brother were outside, all looking bothered that Lauren informed them that Bo was coming. Oh you hate that don't you? She smiled at them, she felt her hands sweaty when she opened the door. She got inside and found Lauren standing, looking outside the window. She watched as Lo turned. She was looking so thin and pale, but still so princess like and angelic. My princess she thought.
"I brought you some flowers" Bo said. Bo was taking it easy, she didn't want to make any sudden move, she could bet Lauren was angry.
"thank you" Lauren got the flowers and placed them on a chair, not even checking them.
"I am so happy that you are ok, so happy. I missed you so much, I was so scared I was going to lose you" Lauren said nothing again. She was just looking at her, for the first time since she met Lauren, she saw something in her look, Lauren was looking at her in a demeaning way. Not lovingly, not proud, not passionately. She was looking as if Bo was annoying to her.
"Laurennn iiiii, I want to apologizeeee, I never thoughttttt…"
"You don't have to Bo"
"I said you don't have to apologize about anything" Bo got her hand in her hair, she was losing courage.
"Of course I have to, I meannn, what I diiiddd,.."
"Look Bo. Just look at us. If someone is to be blamed is going to be me not you, I mean, look at us. Seriously, how in the world did I believe we were going to make it? You never finished high school, you have no family, you were raised in the streets" Lauren looked at her and laughed.
"I was living in denial all this time Bo. We have nothing in common, you don't even know how to boil an egg, I am a top scientist, a top doctor, in Afganistan I could have anyone I wanted, I had officers, soldiers male and female gunning for me, you were the fascinating bad girl, but Afganistan wasn't the real world, I had to get on the real world Bo, look at me, look at you, how can you stand by my side? At a convention? A meeting? next to me while out with my parents? My friends? To think I was friends with Kenzi? Really Kenzi?" Lauren laughed again.
"I lost my focus, i shouldn't have tried to fix you Bo, make you something that you aren't, make you a decent human, what happened was a reality check for me Bo and I think for you, I should stop pretending I am a saviour of every lost puppy out there and accept that some people are born bad, whether its society or bad genes that make them what they are, its just how things are. So you don't have to be sorry. I tell you right now, that you can leave with a clear conscience. I wish you and Kenzi the best, now please leave me, because I don't want to keep my parents waiting"
Bo was stunned. Lauren walked and opened the door. Her parents walked inside.
"Everything ok sweetie?" Her dad asked?
"Yes dad, we are done here"
Bo looked around, again these people were looking at her as if she was from out of space. She looked at Lauren for the last time and left.