Buz was getting better and better, and the doctors have informed Lauren that if nothing changes, he could be out of the hospital tomorrow or even tonight if she wanted to take him. She had arrived early afternoon, she thanked Ciara for helping again and she was sitting and watching her baby sleeping. He was much more energetic today, Ciara told her he was smiling and mumbling, he was 2 and a half years old, it was time he started talking more and maybe start walking. Lauren knew she was over protective of him and was carrying him around, and also what he went throu delayed his quick evolution. She had to stop keeping him in a glass house, she had to start trusting him and let him try things on his own way. He was also looking much healthier, he was taking weight steadily. The doctors offered her a few suggestions about his therapy and she was willing to check them and decide the next day, when she and Buz were back home.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the noise of the elevator door opening. Lauren was surprised when she saw her parents coming out. Her father was looking strained and a bit annoyed while her mum was looking worried. Lauren immediately felt a wave of anger, she didn't had time for this. She didn't had time to hear her parents comments, their judgement over her actions and over Buz. They approached her and her mum made a move to kiss her on the cheek, Lauren did the same. Suprisingly her father did the same.
"How are you dear?" Her mum asked.
" I been better" Lauren answered with a sad smile. She catched her dads disapproving look.
"How is Buz? Is he any better? Ciara informed us, since you wont bother to even call us anymore"
"He is doing much better thank you. I didn't want to burden you with my troubles mother"
"Lauren, you are our daughter. Your problems are our problems too, you know sometimes, we dont approve of your choices but we will always be there for you"
Lauren squeezed her mothers hand. Her father remained silent. He approached the glass window and looked at Buz.
"He looks much stronger now"
"He is dad. He is getting stronger by the day, and also taller" Lauren smiled more openly this time, looks like Buz was finally getting the approval of her parents.
"Can I get you something? Coffee? Tea?"
"No, we aren't staying long, we just came to see if you needed anything" Her mum said. Her father walked towards Lauren and in a rare show of affection, he hugged his daughter.
"I am glad you are back to you old self". Lauren hugged her father back. Her mum kissed her on the cheeks again and told her to call if she needed anything and when they are back home. She also asked if she could buy Buz a few clothes and some presents, if that was alright with Lauren.
"Yes of course. He is your grandchild after all" Lauren said smiling. Her mum nodded her positively and her parents left. She felt happy, finally she was feeling her parents making the first steps to accept Buz in their family. It was going to be a difficult path but they would walk it together. She turned and looked towards her son. He smiled at her. He mumbled something again. Don't worry baby, from now on mummy is going to teach you everything there is about the English language. She also wanted her son to know and feel proud of his African heritage but he was still very young so she didn't want to confuse him or burden him with anything else yet. We have time baby. She sat back on her chair, thinking about hers and Buzs future when her phone started ringing. It was Bo, Lauren smiled looking at the screen but this time her smile had nothing to do with happiness.
"Its me Bo"
"I know its you"
"Yeah of course you know, since you know my number, ehhh, I want to ask you something"
"Go ahead Bo" Lauren was making her voice sound all too sweet.
"Kenzi asked me, if she could come over and see you guys? Just for 10 minutes?"
Lauren didn't answer straight away. She decided to play with Bo and get back at her but she didn't know what to do with Kenzi. But in order to play it right, she had to include the best friend.
"Of course she can, I missed her"
"Really? That's great. I just finished from work and we are going to be there in 30 minutes, see you and Buz then"
Lauren looked at her phone. She really didn't know where this was heading and she wasn't sure she wanted to continue, but she started it now. She wanted Bo to get hurt, as she was hurt and if Kenzi was part of that, she didn't mind a bit.
Kenzi was feeling unsure and sooooo nervous. She was about to meet Lauren, real meet her, after so much time. She missed her friend in her life, Laurens mature presence. She had a calming influence on her life, on their lives, Bos and hers. She again remembered the happy memories, and then what happened after. Kenzi was surprised at the way things were going fast again. Bo was at cloud nine, but Kenzi wanted to see Lauren first and then judge if things were ok. She had a strange feeling, things weren't as rosy as Bo was telling her.
"Ready?" Bos voice stopped her thoughts. She looked at her best friend and smiled, Bo was dressed with a white shirt and a dark jean, she was trying hard to appear acceptable and part of Laurens life. The white shirt and jean was the doc unofficial uniform and if Bo was wearing a leather jacket, then Kenzi was going to tease her to no end.
"Yes, I am ready. Lets hope Lauren is ready too"
"Kenz, I told you, she is our Lauren, the kindhearted angel. She loves us both very much and she needs us in her life, especially now with Buz."
"Bo, you have to be really careful this time…"
"I know Kenz. I am done with the mistakes. Done. I told you, I would prove to her I am worthy"
They took a cab to the hospital. Apparently Bo was planning to stay the night again with Lauren. As they arrived and entered the hospital, Kenzi was feeling small, small and petty. Lauren could have forgiven her, but Kenzi wasn't sure she had forgiven herself. The elevator doors opened, and they walked outside on the hall. Lauren was standing smiling with Ciara next to her, while talking to two doctors. Kenzi watched as Bo walked close to them, while she was hesitate, so she stayed a few steps behind.
She looked around and saw Laurens kid, a nurse was holding him and bringing him towards Lauren. Lauren was looking super happy, she was practically glowing.
Ciara was holding a bag, probably Buzs stuff. Kenzi smiled at the scene, looks like Buz was fine and the doctors were allowing Lauren to take him home.
Lauren took her son on her arms, and he snuggled his head on her neck. Bo was right behind them, looking at them so lovingly, so eagerly. At that moment Lauren turned and noticed her. For a second the smile left her face, but she lowered her eyes in her typical way and when she looked at her again, she smiled. Kenzi smiled back at her, and slowly walked towards them. That was the Lauren she knew. The Lauren that was bringing the light into their lives.
Lauren was preparing Buz food. Today it was Saturday and the menu had fresh fish. Buz was sitting on his tall kitchen chair, watching her move around the kitchen. It was one month since they got out of the hospital and he was like a different child. He started to mumble words and eve make a few steps. He was improving so fast, and he was in therapy too. Since the virus was still sleeping inside Buz blood, Buz only needed a few pills that were giving him strength and protection. The injections would come much later, and that only if there was a lapse on his illness. Lauren was feeling very positive on the way things were going.
"Yes sweety, mummy is here cooking for you" Lauren smiled, Buz was using two names to call her, the usual mooom and the way others were calling her, mostly her close people like Ciara. Buz was holding a spoon and was hitting his little plate with it. He loved to play with small simple things, it was so easy to please him. He was a great boy. Lauren recalled the events of the last month, her life settled into a routine. She was so happy about Buz being healthy that she was avoiding to address the elephant in the room. Bo and Kenzi were back in her life and most importantly at Buzs life. Buz and Bo had a connection, and she didn't know why.
They clicked from that first moment. When they arrived back home that night, after the doctor allowed her to take him home, Buz started to cry, he was probably hungry and feeling unrest, Lauren had to prepare his milk as soon as possible, and she had no other choice than give him to Bo, who along with Kenzi insisted to come home with her and help her settle back, after so many days in the hospital The moment Buz was on Bos hands, he stopped crying. He opened his large eyes, and looked at Bo. That was it. He would smile, laugh, move his hands towards her hair. Bo since that day was crazy about him too. She would come over after work and stay with him, play, buy him clothes, call to talk to him. Kenzi would join her too, they would spoil him hard, and he was getting very happy and sociable around them. He had a constant smile, and he would start mumble more and more words. Lauren wasn't sure about her whole revenge deal anymore.
She was regretting the fact she allowed them back in and didn't know how to get them out. She was keeping her distance though, she was being polite with them both and didn't allow Bo to think they were heading anywhere than just being simple friends and nothing more. She had to admit, Bo didn't try any move all this time, she was merely focused on helping her out with Buz. And Kenzi had been great with him too, Lauren was happy that Buz had people who cared for him, but again, Lauren was holding back a lot and she didn't want her son to get hurt by them as she was. I have to try and distance them slowly. She had to admit though, Bo was a changed person.
Or she seemed a changed person. She stopped drinking or she wont drink when around them, she had early nights and she was very fit. She was managing to keep on working on two jobs and didn't look like stopping. Lauren was also stalling about her decision to start working again. She wanted to be with Buz as long as possible. At least until he would grow up a bit more and she could send him to nursery school.
Bo entered the crack shack holding a bag. Kenzi wasn't home, she was spending the weekend with Nick, things were getting serious between them and the couple was very loved up. It was Saturday afternoon and the apartment was looking very empty. The usual image came in her mind, Lauren in the kitchen cooking while Buz was sitting on his chair. She dropped the bag on the couch and sat down. She loved that kid. It was awesome how happy she was, just spending a couple hours with him. Bo was feeling overly protective for both son and mother. But. But problem was, Lauren was cold towards her. Cold and polite, Kenzi would say professional, distant, over us. She would allow them access to Buz but that was it. When they would visit, it was all about the kid and when Bo was trying to spend a little time with Lo, she would find an excuse to throw them out. A few times she would put Kenzi to focus on Buz so she could talk to Lauren, but to no avail. She was getting frustrated at the way Lauren was keeping her out. But at the same time she didn't want to make a move, or do something that would make Lauren cut her off completely. The fact that she could be around her even only for Buz, was great.
Bo grabbed the bag, it was snowing outside, and Bo was leaving her work at the mall, when she noticed a baby Canada hockey team jersey and sweatpants. She immediately thought of Buz. She managed to persuade the salesgirl to buy it, even though she was closing the store for the evening. She even lied that it was for her son. That's not a complete lie, she thought. She did consider Buz her son. I got to do something. She was trying to prove to Lauren that she changed and was responsible but she wasn't sure it was working. The only time she felt she managed to get close to Lauren was that night when they ride back at her house, from the hospital. After that, she didn't know how to approach her. Her mistakes were heavy on her shoulders.
Kenzi was happy with Nick and was happy that she was back to being friendly with Lo, she placed her hands on her face, thinking what she could have with Lauren. She was such a fool, such a fool, she wanted to talk to Lauren about everything. She was thinking about her fucking around while being with Lauren. How she ruined everything. Kenzi was right. She should have told Lauren everything, maybe that would make her more lenient to give her another chance. But she wasn't sure. She didn't want Lauren to see her as a victim, or even be disgusted with her. She wanted Lauren to think of her as strong. Look at me now, I am alone at my house and all I want to do is take the bag and go to Laurens place. She grabbed her phone, and was thinking about calling when her phone started ringing. It was Lauren. Lauren was rarely calling her, if not never.
"Yes, Lauren?" Laurens voice was hurried.
"Bo, sorry I am calling but can you come over for a couple of hours? To babysit Buz? Something came up with Ciara and I have to be with her"
"Yes, of course, ill be right there" YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Bo was screaming inside her. She hoped it was just work and nothing serious was going on with Ciara, and she thanked God for giving her another opening.
Lauren shut the phone not feeling very sure, but Ciara needed her, she had to go with her for an emergency breast scanning, apparently she felt something on her left breast, and even though it was Saturday afternoon, she wanted it checked as soon as possible. So she booked an appointment and she agreed to go even though it was late, since that was the only opening her doctor had so soon. She was very scared and wanted someone with her, and Lauren was always so professional and calm, and could offer her, her medical advice. She needed someone to be with Buz, someone she could trust with him and except from Ciara, only Bo and Kenzi were close to him.
Taking the bike to go to Laurens place was a huge mistake, the snow was making the road slippery and it was getting heavier too. She arrived at Laurens place, and before she managed to knock on her door, Lauren already opened.
"Hi, I am taking a cab to Ciaras, I got everything ready for Buz, he should eat a slice of black bread with honey and then give him one of those small juices I have in the kitchen, in about an hour. Ill be back in 3 hours tops, if something happens call me, anything, I have changed him and he is clean and in a great playful mood, thank you for coming in such a short notice"
"Of course…." before Bo didn't manage to say anything, Lauren left.
Bo saw Buz looking at her, he was sitting down on the floor on his playroom blanket with all his toys around.
"Hey big guy, look what mama Bo got you! It's a brand new Canada jersey dude, your going to be a great hockey player." Buz god excited and he started smiling and moving towards Bo, Bo grabbed him and raised him up in the air, making him laugh hard. Time with Buz passed pretty quickly, Lauren called her to check on them, and Bo reassured her everything was fine. She asked her if Buz had eaten his honey, making Bo remember she had to feed him that slice, she lied to Lauren that he did.
Giving that chocolate was a mistake Bo thought, not only he had become even more active, but he didn't want to eat that slice. Bo wasn't going to tell Lauren about the chocolate, since she knew Lauren didn't approve Buz eating sweets, and she decided to eat the slice of bread with honey herself because she was sure Lauren would count the slices left.
"Its going to be our little secret, ok dude?"
"Yes, dude. That's my boy, you are two and a half dude, time to start talking and walking."Bo was holding him from his small shoulders, while Buz was making steps. He was smiling and laughing, trying and looking happy with himself. They reached the couch and Bo took him in her arms and sat. She sat him on her lap and they started talking to each other.
"Boooooooo, say Booooo"
"No, not Looooo, Boooooo. You are going to call my name, so your mama would know you miss me. I need you to like me and love me, so she is going to like me again" Bo was smiling and making faces to him and he would burst into laughs. He would grab her mouth with his finger and touch her face.
He was very affectionate and loving. Bo was equally happy, again she was thinking what she lost by losing Lauren.
"yes, mama, she is awesome isn't she? I know, you don't know how lucky you are, please help me get mama back"
Bo hugged the small child, feeling very emotional.
"mama can teach you everything, she knows everything about science and classical music and school stuff and how to be proper and how to dress properly but you know what little guy? I am going to be here to teach you everything else, if your mama allows me, how to get chicks and how to drink and how to be strong and fit and how nobody fools you on the street and all about the army if you ever feel of joining and we are going to watch all hockey matches together"
Bo was trying to hold the tears, she didn't want to start crying in front of the kid.
"no matter what happens, you and I are going to be friends and I am going to be there for you no matter what, you know, you and I, we are a lot like each other"
Buz was making faces to Bo and moving his little hands like Bo did.
"yes little guy, we are like each other, and I am not talking only for the obvious resemblance", Bo laughed at herself, it was her own private joke to say she and Buz were resembling each other, she was trying to keep her hopes up, but she felt Lauren wasn't feeling anything for her anymore, she was impartial and distance, she had that feeling for sometime now,
"you and I, you know, we were both lost, we were both lost in our lives until your mama found us, but you know what kiddo? I fucked up and I lost your mum and now I am lost again, I am lost again and I need you, I need you to help me out" Bo finally let herself go and started crying.
Lauren arrived home, it was near to Buz sleeping time. She was glad she managed to be back just in time, she had a steady schedule for him and she didn't want him to lose that. She entered her apartment and found them laying on the couch. Buz was sleeping at Bos arms, while Bo was watching Tv. He was wearing a large sports shirt. Bo moved slowly in order to get up and not waking him. Lauren smiled.
"Lets take him to his bed"
They walked together inside Laurens bedroom. Bo immediately became moody, she looked around Laurens bedroom, the sheets, the smells, the bed. She let Lauren take him and walked out of the room. She grabbed her jacket and was about to leave when Lauren came out behind her.
"Hey, everything ok with Ciara?"
"Well, its still early to tell, but first scan doesn't look like anything serious, but we have to wait for the bio results"
"Good to hear"
"Its really crazy out there, I think you should leave the bike here? In my garage? And call a cab? Love his new Jersey"
"Nahh, with so much snow, I am not sure I can get a cab, I would have to wait for hours, you like it? The minute I saw that, I thought of Buz"
"Please don't take the bike, its really dangerous"
"Hey, its ok, I would go as slow as I can"
"How was your time with him, was he good?"
"He is awesome. Fantastic, just like ehhh"
"Want to eat something? It's the least I can do for you" Laurens voice, was cold and professional, like talking to someone she knew socially, no color or passion.
Bo looked at Lauren at that moody dark away, which Lauren hadn't seen for a long time.
"No, I better be going, before snow covers everything"
"Call me when you arrive?"
"I will. Good night Lo, anddd thank you for giving me the chance to be with him"
"Its nothing, he likes you too"
Bo turned and looked Lauren one last time and left.
Lauren looked outside the window, the snow was getting heavier, I really hope she goes very slow. Buz woke up, he wanted his night milk, Time to focus on your son, she told herself.
Bo couldn't see clearly, she was going as slow as she could, she should stop but didn't want to leave the bike, Lauren was right, she should have called for a cab. She doesn't love you anymore, that voice that was coming in her mind all these days since Buz left the hospital, was repeating that line again and again. Bo was aware how much she hurt Lauren, how much pain she inflicted on her, but she always believed Lauren still loved her and that in time she was going to forgive her. She was willing to wait for years, as long as she knew and felt Lauren still loved her. But the doc was so professional towards her, so distant. She couldn't stand that, she was like a small child, jealous of watching a happy family while she was being kept away, in her own private misery.
Her old life, her childhood came in mind. She tried to send those thoughts away, without realizing she was going faster on the snow, Bos bike slipped and hit a sidewalk poll. She felt a simple momentary pain on her back and then nothing. She was ok, she felt the snow falling on her face, she thought of Lauren and her words, she was right again, she should have taken a cab. Cars stopped and a couple of people came over to help her.
"How are you?"
"Are you ok?"
"Don't worry, ambulance is coming"
Bo smiled bitterly again, that drugie loser is going back to the hospital Lo. She didn't feel she was seriously hurt, so she tried to move a bit. She got her hands steady and tried to move a bit more inside the sidewalk.
"No, don't move, the ambulance is coming"
Bo didn't move, but it wasn't because she followed the advice of the people helping her. I cant move my legs she said to herself. Bo tried and tried to move her legs, but felt she couldn't. She didn't feel anything. The ambulance arrived and she was taken inside. The vehicle was taking her to the hospital, while the doctor was checking her virals.
"You are ok Miss, doesn't look like something serious"
Bo was looking up when she answered.
"I cant move my legs" she whispered.
"I cant move my legs"