Bo was looking around her in silence, while doctors were coming and going for the past 3 hours. She was moved from the ER to a room, a doctor had informed her that they were making initial tests, that she got a hit on her spine and there were indications some part of her nerves were affected and that's why she couldn't move her legs. It was still early to tell her anything else, and she could choose to be transferred to a military hospital. They got from her id that she was military and her regiment was informed.
It was Saturday night, and Kenzi was with Nick. A nurse asked her about her relatives or next of kin and who should they call, or if she wanted to call anyone. Bos mobile was sitting beside her on the table next to the bed.
"Sorry miss Dennis?"
"I said, I have no family and I don't want to call anyone"
"How about your boyfriend? Girlfriend? A friend?"
"No, thank you"
"You are going to need someone to be with you in the next days.."
"Cant you hear me? I said no."
"It's the hospitals policy…"
"Are you deaf? I said I have nobody and I don't want to call anyone, did you finish? Can you leave me alone?"
The nurse left, and Bo was left alone. Her phone started ringing, she grabbed it by stretching her hands. It was her commander, he probably was informed throu the military hospital, Bo thought.
"Yes sir. I don't know yet sir. No, I have people around me. No, you don't have to send anyone. I guess so, waiting for the tests and then are going to decide about sending me to a military hospital. Thank you"
She could hear the pity on her commanders voice. First time in her military life. Wait until the rest of her regiment knows. Bo breathed deeply. She was laid in a hospital bed again. She smiled, moved her head, that was happening often lately. When she was at war, she never needed to be in a hospital bed, yet when she is back in peace land, she ends up on a hospital bed. Isnt that a big hello from the universe? What are you doing here? Why aren't you at war killing people? This world never suited you. Bo closed her eyes. She wanted to take a pee, she could do it right there, they had placed a tube in her bladder that was ending up in a small plastic bag, hanging by her bed. That was easy, but what was going to happen when she needed to go? She had to wait for the test results before she acts, before she does what she was thinking. She was thinking about it since that doc told her about her spine. She wasn't going to be one of those people sitting on a wheelchair and shitting themselves. She knows what she what to do. Her phone ringed again. It was Kenz. If she didn't answer Kenz would worry, it was the 3rd time she called. She tried to appear as natural as she could.
"Bobo, what the hell? Are you that busy? Where are you by the way?"
"At Laurens, she needed my help with Buz"
"Really? Why? Is he ok?"
"Yes, he is fine, Lauren had to be somewhere and called me to stay with him"
"Its almost midnight, are you planning to stay there until snow has covered everything?"
"Lauren offered to feed me, you know I cant pass on that"
"Oh, food eh? Just keep calm Bobo and don't get straight to food ok? That's great news, I hope you two lovebirds have a good time, so happy for you guys.."
"Kenz I got to go, Lauren is coming back, from Buzs room"
"Ok, give her my best and see you tomorrow afternoon, I want every detail"
Bo shut the phone. She watched her mobile screen saver. It was a pic of Kenzi and Lauren taken after their regiments ball. They went back to the crack shack, and Lauren was in the mood to make them fried eggs with fresh tomatoes, nor she or Kenz had eaten much. Kenzi was looking at Lauren cooking while the blonde had her back half-turned smiling and moving her hand explaining the procedure. Bo was on the couch, drunk, she was so happy at that moment. How could she be happy, she had just fucked Tamsin, behind Laurens back. But she was happy.
She was so delusional, thinking Lauren would never know, and if she did, she would forgive her. She believed in her own lies. She was so proud and angry that night. She wanted Lauren all byherself and the only person who was spending time with her and she wasn't jealous off, was Kenzi. Lauren would understand her mood. The three of them were in a happy daze. Kenz would joke about Lauren cooking for them forever and stop working as a doctor. She looked at her mobile pics, she had some recent of Buz. And a couple she had taken of Lauren secretly when she didn't know she was watching her. Bo had officially turned into a stalker. I wonder what she would think if she learns. She send that thought at the back of her mind, she needed a piece of paper to write down a couple lines about Kenzi. She hoped Kenzi was going to be really busy for another day and wont care to talk to anyone else from the regiment. She knew Kenzi wont call Lauren either, they had become friends again, but as Kenzi said many times, it wasn't like the old times. Lauren had moved on from us Bo. She has a new life now. How I ended up being such a loser? She pressed the button and a nurse entered the room after a couple of minutes.
"Can you get my jacket please?" Bos jacket was left in the empty chair next to her bed.
"Of course, are you sure you don't want me to call you someone? You would need the help"
"No, I am fine, are you aware when the doctors are getting those results they are waiting for?
"Not sure, but I think they would brief you in the morning. Why don't you try to sleep?"
"Thank you again"
The nurse left and Bo was left looking at the closed door. She checked her inside pockets, she used to have two things hidden on those, one was her military knife, and the other were drugs. Since she stopped using, the knife was the only thing left, covered deep down on her jacket. She always had it with her, mainly because of the old times. She was a street kid, she needed protection if anything happened. She was getting in trouble often and was always on hold for bad situations happening. She used to have a small dagger knife, but she left it back at the crack shack, and replaced it with this one, when she joined the army. Wasn't much bigger in size but was more lethal. Bo didn't take it out, she kept her jacket close, left it at the small table next to her bed. She would wait until tomorrow, to know what was going to happen and if that knife was needed.
Lauren couldn't sleep, she checked the time, it was midnight. Buz was restless too, he would turn around on his small bed. Lauren finally decided to get him on her bed with her and he calmed down, but she still couldn't sleep. She decided to get up and get herself a glass of wine, that would ease her tension. Strange night she thought. She walked into the living room, she got her wine and sat on her couch. She could still sense Bos scent in the air, in the corner she was sitting. Spending her time with Ciara and then coming back to find Bo and Buz on the couch, was like a parallel universe, where everything was good and she and Bo had their family and living together.
Up until now, she wasn't allowing herself to think about Bo in any other way except as a cheater, someone who used her and hurt her, and someone she only allowed back in her life for a silly revenge plan that never really panned out. Lauren didn't want to hurt people, she didn't want to cause pain. She wasn't sure Bo was going to be hurt in any way by any of her supposed revenge plans, but Lauren had already regretted those thoughts. Buz loved Bo. And Bo as many as her faults were, she loved Buz back. Tonight was another confirmation. Bo and Kenzi faced many of lifes hardships and in a way they could related to Buz. Lauren knew and was aware that her son was going to face a lot of difficulties in his life, not only because of who he was and where he was coming from but also because of his illness and the prejudice around it. Bo and Kenzi didn't seem to care. They were both social outcast until they joined the army and in that way they were good for Buz. They were accepting him and loving him as he was.
After tonight Lauren wasn't so sure she was going to cut off contact between them. Yes, sure Lewis, that's the only reason you allow Bo in your life. Lauren had those thoughts too, the voices in her head, calling her for revenge, or mocking her for allowing Bo back in her life. Truth was she was trying very hard to keep her distance from Bo and Kenzi. She promised herself she wont open herself again to them, like she did before. She paid a heavy price and she knew her heart couldn't handle another treason. She didn't mind if she wasn't going to love anyone else as she loves Bo. Loved, Loved Bo. She had Buz. She was going to give him so much love and she was sure that boy is going to love her back the same. She got up and walked towards the window. Snow was continuing to fall, already covered everything. She loved snow, she was so going to take Buz out for a few minutes to play with snow. Wonder if Bo arrived safely. Of course she did. Lauren headed towards her kitchen and washed the lass of wine. She was feeling much calmer now. She was ready to sleep.
Bo was watching the snow falling outside the hospital bed window. She checked the time again, it was nearly two in the morning, she thought of her crazy late nights with Kenzi. Saturday nights with drinking, and dance and many times fights and then breakfast and crashing at the crack shack. And then waking up with a huge hangover and ordering food and TV marathons. Kenzi. Kenzi my No1, my family. Bo avoided looking at her lower body. She touched her legs earlier when she was taken to this room. She felt nothing and she didn't ask the doctors much. She was afraid of their answers. She didn't want to hear it. She would never burden Kenzi with herself, never. Knowing her bestie, Kenzi would leave her life behind to be there for her. She and Nick had a good thing going and she didn't want her to lose that. She was finally settling with someone. She thought of their first meeting and how they clicked, how they got their house, how they joined the army, how they fought together and how they met Lauren. Bo squeezed her hands, she didn't want to cry but the tears started running on her face.
She was 4 years old when her parents died, and she didn't remember much from them. She only had one or two pictures and she moved so many times throu foster parents that she wasn't sure she still had them. She had a grandfather who was an alcoholic and he was never interested in taking up their place as her parent. Social services checked him and rejected him. She had no other living relative. She lived in a charity facility until her journey in the system started. She didn't really think all that up until now. Those were memories that she refused to acknowledge, everytime they would come on her mind, she would watch as if she was a bystander, someone who didn't live all that. When she got older and managed to get away, most of the times when they would appear she would drink herself to oblivion or take drugs and they were back in that box. She didn't need to think, she didn't need to remember.
Only Kenzi knew what happened and that was a small amount that she mentioned when she would get angry at herself or very drunk and emotional. She would speak about what went down, and then when she would wake up the next morning and Kenzi would try to ask, Bo would shut down. Most of the nights she couldn't sleep, or sleep with a light open and her knife close. Took her years to feel a place as a home, and the crack shack was a home for her, because it suited her soul, her life. Then the army came and she had something steady in her life, that was keeping her out of trouble and away from jail, that she was surely heading. The army. She loved the army, she could beat up people there, be angry, shoot at someone. Yeah, that's my reason for joining Bo thought. I could do illegal stuff, legally. I could train and get my frustration out. In the army they didn't care where you come from and who you are as long as you were able to fight. Shoot. And she could do that. She was at her best in the army.
And now? Look at yourself. Not going to let this happen. Its just another day. Before Kenzi is back home and starts looking for me. She looked at her phone again. She checked her messages. She had almost every message from Lauren archived, she started reading their exchanges. That night when she came for dinner with Kenzi, after her first accident, their really first time meeting after Afganistan. She couldn't sleep all night when they left Laurens house after they kissed. She was sending her messages, and then their breakfast at the bakery. Bo brought her hand in her eyes. She didn't want to remember. She squeezed her phone on her hand. Lauren would never see me like this. Ever. During the dark days after her break up and Laurens suicide attempt Kenzi would tell her to write Lauren a letter and ask for forgiveness and try to tell her about her life. That was never going to happen, Bo didn't care really about other people knowing her past, she didn't give a fuck, she just didn't want to remember or talk about it, but the only one who didn't want to know about her past life was Lauren.
Lauren. Bo closed her eyes and smiled, I remember her every little move, her hands, her walk, how shy she is and awkward and a nerd. Her eyes, damn her eyes and her hair. Tears started flowing again and she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the nurse coming in to check on her serum.
"Are you ok? Do you need anything?"
"No" Bo answered with a broken voice. The nurse looked at her intensively this time and left again. Bo brought her hand on her eyes again, trying to shut down the memories, and stop thinking about Lauren.
Buz woke up in the middle of the night crying. Lauren was next to him and immediately took him in her arms and hold him. She started singing him one of those songs for sleep but he wont stop crying. It wasn't a loud cry but more or a complaining one. Lauren checked him, he wasn't wet and didn't need changing. She got up and started moving him slowly on her arms while walking. He laid his head on her shoulder and slowly he went back to sleep. She didn't put him to bed, instead choosing to hold him like that, while she sat back on the bed with her back on the top of it. She covered him and herself and stayed there. It was so beautiful to feel him sleep on her, feel his breath. Suddenly her phone started vibrating. She always had it on silent at night, so nobody would wake up Buz. She checked and it was an unknown number, Lauren felt unsure about answering it, especially since it was so late.
"Yes, hi, I am sorry to bother you at such time, are you Lauren Lewis, MD?"
It was a womans voice and she sounded very official, Lauren worried that it was from the police.
"Yes, it me" Lauren was whispering since she had her son on her arms.
"Again I apologize for the time, but there seems to be a problem with one of our patients here and according to previous files, you were listed as a contact?"
"Patient? You are calling from a hospital? Who is the patient?" Lauren immediately thought something happened to her parents.
"Its Miss Ysabeau Dennis. She was in a traffic accident tonight" Lauren closed her eyes, not again.
"I am sorry but I am not her next of kin, we aren't even close friends, you need to call someone else"
"Can you give us the number of someone? A relative or someone who can care for her?"
"Of course, can you wait for a second?" Lauren got up and slowly placed Buz on his bed. She walked outside the bedroom and gave the person who was calling Kenzis number.
"You know its very late, and I gather Miss Dennis isn't so serious, so why not call her friend in the morning and not worry her?"
"Unfortunately things aren't that simple. Miss Dennis was refusing to give any contact number about anyone who can care for her, and she is facing a heavy struggle in her near future, she needs someone"
"I don't think you know her that well, she is capable on her own just fine. What did she do again? Is she back on drugs? Did she hurt anybody?"
"Actually no, but I cant give you any information about her condition. Thank you again and I am sorry for disturbing you at such a time"
Same old, same old with Bo, She is never going to chance, I bet she went straight to a bar when she left here, she didn't even stay to eat something like I offered her, see Lewis? That's what happens when you start hoping for things to get better. Lauren went back in her bedroom, this time she shut her phone.
Kenzi arrived at the hospital, almost two hours after the nurse called. Nurse didn't want to say much, only that she was calling on her own accord and that Bo didn't want to inform anyone. Apparently she was in some kind of an accident. When she got up from Nicks bed, he was angry and he started calling Bo names, and that led to a big fight. She told him that she didn't want him to come with her, and that no matter what, Bo was her best friend. She waited for a cab outside on the snow while it was dark, nothing she and Bo haven't done numerous times, in the past.
The nurse wont share details about her condition, something that worried her. She mentioned the name of the nurse who called her on the hospital reception and she was informed that Bo was in the neurological clinic. While she was walking on the hall, she had a weird feeling that things weren't good this time. Finally the nurse who called her and was responsible for Bos and a couples of others room, approached her.
"Thank you again for calling me"
"I felt sorry for the poor lady, she has been here for so many hours and she doesn't want people to know about her condition"
"How did you find me?"
"We have her records from another accident and we kept a contact number of a doctor, who had your number and said you are her next of kin?"
"Yes, I am." I am her sister, Kenzi wanted to yell. Maybe not by blood but by heart and soul.
"So how is she?"
"Well nothing is certain yet, but her spine was hit during the fall and she cant move her lower body, from the hips and down. More detailed tests have been carried and the results would be out tomorrow. She would need you very much. You know how things are at these first moments"
Kenzi couldn't speak. She wanted to start yelling. How she was going to face Bo? Bo couldn't walk? What was she going to tell her? She had to be strong, she had to be strong for her friend. Maybe it was the initial shock and everything would be fine tomorrow or in a few days. Kenzi managed to hold the tears.
"Thank you again, so much for calling me"
"You are welcome. I am glad she has someone"
Kenzi finally opened the door to Bos room. It was dark and only the lights from the outside road were lighting the room a bit. Kenzi couldn't see Bos face clearly. She saw the urine bag and Bos legs had two wires connected to them down on her foot. Bo didn't move or turn her head to look at her. Kenzi moved the chair closer to Bos bed. She took her coat off and left it on a small closet, on the corner of the room. She sat and it was so silent that they could hear each others breaths. Kenzi noticed Bos hands, her fists, as if she was trying to check how strong she was. Slowly she moved her hand close to Bos, and opened her fist. She slipped her fingers to Bos and squeezed them. They didn't talk or said anything. Kenzi brought Bos hand on her lips and kissed it. Bo finally turned and looked at her best friend while Kenzi couldn't hold the tears anymore, she laid her head on Bos legs and hugged her friend.