"Bo, what are you doing"
"Kenz you scared me! I am not doing anything"
"your watching porn?"
"no I am not watching ok? Bo closed the laptop screen and she was blushing?
"seriously dude, its still early to watch porn"
"I said I wasn't watching porn"
"oh come on, we used to watch together and laugh, I can understand it, you've been without sex for months now"
"its not like that ok? If you really want to know, I was trying to found out about people with my disabilities, how was the sex and such, and yes I was wondering if there are porn movies out there so I can get an idea"
Kenzi couldn't hold her laughs.
"yeah sure laugh, that's why I didn't want to tell you"
"Bo seriously, you? The sex animal? You are searching ways to have sex? And why this urge all of a sudden? Don't tell me you and Lauren are getting it on already?"
"No, no don't tell Lauren about this, no, we didn't even kiss, but I didn't think about it until I was around her again and I don't know what I ll do, if it happens, please Kenzi don't tell her? I am still on her trial period and any mistake could make me an outsider in her life again, she wont like it that I tried to find porn for disabled, please, I bet she would cut me off from Buz too"
Kenzi couldn't believe how whipped Bo was. Bo was getting back in rehab tomorrow, after her reconciliation with Lauren, which meant spending the days together and being friendly and little open, everything was getting better and better, Lauren promised to rethink her relationship with B and give her another chance, while Bo had to prove she was a changed person.
"calm down Bobo, awww my poor sexy beast, of course I wont tell her, but tell me why are you so stressed about it?"
"I don't know, I don't know if I am going to be good you know, I cant move my legs, and I want to see how its done you know, of course I can move my hands and tongue but after that what? And I used to be great and I wonder if Lauren is going to get disappointed? I meant I don't even know if she wants me sexually? While all I think is her in bed and in the wall and everything we did before"
"omg Bo, of course Lauren would want you girl, she isn't that shallow and she is a doctor, she knows those things, ehhhh, you can still feell you know down there?!"
"of course I can, in fact I over feel, I have become very sensitive down there, I don't know why but everytime I think of Lauren and get horny, its like a sports car, I finish in 5 seconds, i spend 3 months in that bed touching myself!" Bo was frowing now and looking like a shy kid.
"I am sure its nerves Bo, you know what they say, its like bicucle, you never forget it, so did you talk to Lauren? What time is she going to be over?"
"she is having lunch with her brother and then she and Buz are coming over to say goodbye"
"yeah, we got your stuff ready" As Kenzi moved passed her friend Bo moved and hugged her by the legs.
"hey Bobo its ok" Kenzi hugged her back.
"I don't want to go back"
"I know you don't but you know its about your health, getting better and stronger, its just 6 more months and then you are back here, come on, you can spend every other week here from now on and every holiday and vacation"
"I love you Kenz"
"I love you too, we are going to make this happen ok?"
"I am scared I am going to disappoint you and Lo again"
"don't think about that Bo, whatever happens, we still love you, it doesn't matter if you are on a wheelchair or on your legs, we love you no matter what, we just want you to be happy"
"What do you think Buzi? Is Bo going to like the sweatpants and sneakers we got for her? Its going to be her going away present"
"Bo mummy? Shoes?"
"yes its for Bobo and its exactly like yours, I bet she is going to like that"
Lauren was smiling, the moment she saw those adidas kid sweatpants and sneakers, she immediately bought them for Buz and when the salesman informed her that they were coming with the same pair for adults she couldn't help but think of getting Bo a pair, she was going back to rehab tonight and Lauren was feeling sad, the past 3 days have been great, she, Buz, Bo and Kenzi were a family, spending their days together, it was unbelievable how Buz was so fond of Bo, and Lauren was happy that her son had people around him, of course she had some rules, no more swearing and yelling around him, no chocolate, even though she knew Bo and Kenzi were bending that rule a bit, and no pressure from Bo for anything more, Lauren could feel the sexual tension between them and their looks were getting more and more intense but Lauren didn't know what to do, she had to read about this, get some education because getting sexual with Bo again was inevitable, even if she didn't want to admit it, she had to be ready, and sensitive, from Bos tests and results Lauren was aware Bo didn't lose he genital feel but she wasn't sure how comfortable she was anymore, about sex.
It was early afternoon when she and Buz arrived at the crack shack, Bo had to be back inside at 8, and Lauren was allowing Bo and Kenzi to spend their last day together. She opened the door to find them seating on the couch. Buz as usual burst inside the house and rushed to them, Kenzi grabbed him and started kissing him on the cheeks.
"Kenz no the cheeks, he is getting zits!" Lauren kissed Bo on the cheek.
"How was your day?"
"good, we missed you guys, how was your day?"
"great, Buz managed to exaust me again" They watched him as he tried to pick up one of the bags Laurens had brought with her.
"yes baby?" Lauren got Buz on her arms with the shopping bag and offered it to Bo.
"we got you something"
"boboo we ot you something"
"oh you did?" Bo got Buz on her arms and she opened the bag with him. It was a new sweatpants and sneakers from her favourite brand.
"wow Bo those are great"
"don't worry Kenz, we got something for us too"
Lauren grabbed another bag and revealed two pairs of sun glasses, one for herself and one for Kenz.
"omg Lauren, those are fantastic"
Bo was watching them, while Lauren grabbed the last bag.
"and these are for my baby" she revealed a kids sweatpants and sneakers, who were exactly the same as hers.
Kenzi hugged Lauren and went to check the glasses.
"I am going to choose which pair I want"
Lauren noticed Bo got moody while Buz was jumping around holding his little sneakers on his hands.
"Hey, whats up, you don't like them?"
"No I do, they are great"
"So why the moody face?"
"Those things are expensive Lo"
"It's a gift Bo"
"Well how may gifts are you going to give me?" Lauren got up and walked towards the kitchen.
"yeah walk away, fully knowing I cant follow" Lauren came back.
"what you want? Our last hours together to be a fight again?"
"No, I am just telling you I don't want you to keep spending your money on us"
"us? You mean my son and my best friend? Who happen to be my family? I can spend money for my family u know"
"and what am i?"
"you don't know?"
After that they were both silent and Bo was focusing on Buz more, she wanted to spend as much time as she could with him, since she was going to see him in a week.
"Your coming to the match? On Saturday?"
"Yes, I already told you"
"I am just checking"
"Are you okay? Going back?"
Lauren slipped her hand to Bos. Bo kissed Laurens hand, it was a move that made them both hot.
"I am going to be ok if I know you are waiting for me? Your coming to visit?"
"You want me to come?"
"More than anything, you know I have made friends, they really like me, ehhhh maybe you want to meet them"
"You know next week, I am starting my face to face therapy with a shrink"
"I know your schedule Bo, I oversaw it"
"He asked me if I have a family that would want to take part in family therapy, I was wondering if you and Kenzi want to be part of that, Kenzi already agreed"
"That sounds great, you know I always pressured you about talking to someone about Afganistan and everything and if you want to be part of Buzs life, you know you have to get better mentally too"
"How about part of your life?"
"We said we are going to take this slow, I am willing to try but I want to see you trying too and therapy is a really important part of that, you know we cant go on with the burdens of the past, we have to solve all that in order to be happy if we are going to be together"
"you know you may hear things you wont like"
"Bo, what can be worst that what you already did? What I did? I tried to kill myself remember?
"how can I forget? Worst days of my life"
Bo grabbed Laurens hand again and kissed the inside where her veins were.
"Heys guys are you ready? Bo? Its 6 we have to get going, be there an hour early at least so you can settle?
"Yeah" Bo grabbed her wheelchair and got on it. Kenzi and Lauren got her bags while Bo had Buz on her lap, they got on the elevateor in silence, only Buzs mumbling was breaking it. They got the bags on the car. Bo hugged Buz and he hugged her back.
"See you on Saturday little guy." Bo started crying.
"Bo you would be back here in 3 weeks, come on" Kenzi was trying to keep her friend strong. She got Buz and walked a bit away so Lauren and Bo could say their goodbyes.
"take care ok?"
"I love you Lauren" Lauren didn't know what to answer to that, she had to say something, Bo was looking at her with glass eyes.
"We would talk on the phone ok? And see you Saturday" She lowered herself to kiss Bos cheek when suddenly Bo turned and kissed her lips. It was sloppy and a bit weird. Then Bo hugged her waist and placed her head on Laurens belly.
"Come on baby, we would talk on the phone." She doesn't want me anymore Bo thought. She let her hands drop from Laurens waist and moved towards the side of the passenger door. Lauren got Buz from Kenzi as Bo grabbed the door and got inside on the car. Kenzi got the wheelchair on the back and they left.
"its ok Bo, its just another 6 months"
"I know Kenz, its just I loved being back that's all, I am going to miss u guys"
"we are right here, we would visit, we text and talk all the time, we are right here"
First time in a match she was feeling so nervous, she noticed Lauren with Buz and Kenzi earlier, Bo was wearing the sneakers Lauren and Buz got for her, her hands were sweaty and she couldn't stop looking at her legs. Damn what go into me. She lost the first couple of balls and she was out of most the first period so the coach replaced her. She watched as Buz and Lauren were looking at her, greeting her, moving their hands. Her legs were looking weak to her again, wtf is wrong with me? Bo didn't know from where these thoughts were coming but she was feeling really out of place.
"is that your girlfriend?"
"huh?" Bo turned to her friend and playmate.
"that hot blonde over there? She cant keep her eyes from you and she and that kid were calling your name when you were on the field"
Bo turned and watched them again. Buz was jumping up and down while Lauren and Kenz were watching the match while Lauren would look at her at times with a bright smile. The coach got her in again, and she scored in the next ball. After that everything was easy again, Bo was back at her best, scoring, shuving and kicking. They lost but Bo was one of the best players again. As she was getting her stuff she saw Buz running to her on the field followed by Lauren and Kenz. She grabbed Buz.
"look Bobo I got sneakers"
"yeah baby I saw and they are exactly like mine"
Bo grabbed a basket ball and started throwing some balls with Buz on her lap, the little guy was delirious.
"Hey Bo, time to go girl, lets get back on the bus"
"Yeah in a minute"
"Great game" Lauren said. She was looking awesome, she was wearing sweatpants too and clean sneakers with a grey hoodie.
"Love your outfit"
"Well I had to be in tune with Buz" They all smiled. Kenzi hugged her friend.
"Hey Bo, we have that meeting tomorrow"
"Want me to say anything in particular to that crazy doc?"
"Kenzi! You don't plan what you would say" Lauren reacted.
"Bo I didn't get any call yet"
"Yes I know. I am sure they will call you this week"
"I got to go, thank you for coming" Bo kissed Buz and pushed the wheelchair quickly towards the bus.
"Hey hotpants, you think something is wrong?"
"She seemed a little strange and tensed"
"I bet its because she isn't geting any"
"What? Kenzi why you have to do everything about sex? Come on lets go"
Kenzi got back from the therapy session with Bo, looking flustered and angry. She and Lauren had arranged to go to a playstore for Buz in the afternoon and she met her afterwards.
"Hey, sorry for keeping u waiting"
"Its ok, I enjoyed the silence"
"wow its madness around here"
"of course it is, it's a childrens place after all"
"Did you see Bo? How is she?"
"She is ok, as stubborn as ever"
"Why? Because I was the one doing all the talking, that's why. Felt like I was the one in therapy"
"Bo said nothing?"
"You know her when she shuts down, her doctor told her that if she wasn't willing to give something, he was going to keep her there more time"
"I think we have to be patient with her, its not easy for her to start talking, I am sure its going to get better"
"Wait till you hear what I ll tell u"
"Do you know that she lied to the doctor about you? That you couldn't come? That you were busy? The doctor asked me about you and your importance in Bos life, and I didn't know what to answer. I got his phone and he said to call him and arrange the meeting with you so Bo wont be able to lie this time around"
"Damn it, I should have suspected that"
"I am going to call him tonight, does Bo know that he told you?"
"Yes he did, he asked me in front of her and as usual she behaved like she did nothing wrong, can you bring a black coffee? Thank you"
"Don't woryy Kenz, she cant get away from therapy, she has to do it"
"I don't know Lo, she is so stubborn about this, I mean I know most of her adult life, and she refused to answer about that while she was looking at me as if I was betraying her, and I didn't say anything too serious, imagine how she would react if the doc start asking about her childhood"
"He is a professional Kenzi, I am sure he has seen many other patients with same or similar problems with Bo. Lets take it easy, it was just one session"
Lauren came back home with Buz sleeping on her arms. He was very tired after his playday all afternoon, he had a toast and his yogurt so Lauren decided to put him at sleep and if he woke up in the middle of the night to give him his milk. She placed him on his little bed and changed him to his nappies. She then decided to make a salad for herself and drink a glass of wine. She changed on her night gown and sat on her living room to watch some TV.
Her thoughts traveled to Bo and her earlier talk with Kenzi. She finally called the doctor from the play store and arranged to meet in two days. The doctor said she wont make Bo aware up till the last minute, since she has one hour of therapy everyday. Let us surprise her for once, he said. Lauren wasn't sure about that, she didn't want Bo to react in a negative way. Since the basketball match, Bo would text her frequently asking her about Buz and how was their day and talking about the food and her exercises and sending Lauren pics of her body getting stronger. Lauren was feeling Bo was needing her reassurance for something.
Her phone ringed.
"your back home?"
"yeah, you? Already in bed?"
"yes, you know the rules, in bed by 9"
"met anyone today?"
"Kenzi, my mum, Ciara"
"any love interest?"
"well I have a pretty hot massage guy but he is gay"
"I know, you told me before"
"so what are you wearing"
"I wonder where this is heading lol"
"it's a simple question"
"sure, I dont believe you, you never wear them"
"go sleep Bo"
Bo didn't answer her message, so Lauren figured she slept. She finished her wine and prepared herself a hot bath. I wish Bo was here, no I should stop thinking about this.
It was easy Bo said to herself and one hour can pass so easily. She didn't even said much, Kenzi was doing most of the talking. I just wish she would skip some details but it went generally well. I think therapy is easier than I thought. I wonder how its going to be with Lo. She doesn't know much about me so the crazy doc would probably ask her a few questions and its over, well when the meeting actually happens, since he cant get Lauren to come, with some help from me of course.
Bo couldn't sleep, in fact she couldn't sleep from the moment she came back, her mind was constantly on sex, and in fact sex with one person. She was lifting weights and exercising like crazy, even her physio told her to take it easy at some point. She was trying to get of steam at night but she couldn't stand it anymore, she wanted Lauren.
She would search the internet about disabled and sex, she was reading everything, she wanted to find ways that she could move during sex. She was getting really stressed about it, and she was nervous if Lauren would want her anymore. She was sure Lauren loved her but did she want her? The only time Bo tried to kiss her, it was when she left and that was one weird kiss. Bo would relive their sexually encounters in her mind and get hot instantly.
She missed Laurens affection, her touch. She was afraid things changed and she wont be able to please her anymore. She was afraid to flirt with her, or even make a move on her, what if Lauren rejected her? I wonder if she feels disgusted by my legs? Embarassed? I don't know what to do Bo thought. Maybe get a vibrator and thinking she was touching me? I am so sick, I am a sick person. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep thinking Lauren was next to her laying.
She was waiting outside the crazy docs office, she had her daily one hour meeting with him, looks like the doc was late because she was waiting for over 10 minutes until she was called in. She got in his office and noticed someone else was already in. Lauren? That's Lauren. She was stunned. Lauren was sitting on a chair facing the doctor and next to the space she was supposed to stand with her wheelchair.
"Lo? What are you doing here?"
"Oh Bo, I forgot to tell you, I finally managed to get to Miss Lewis, she found time in her busy schedule, so here we are."
"Hi Bo, you look good" She got up and kissed her on the cheek again, Bo was starting to hate that kiss, she wasn't a kid, she wanted a kiss on the lips. Bo said nothing.
"Are we ready to begin?"
"I guess" Bo said.
"Lauren, from what I understand you are Bos ex girlfriend? And with my few talks with her I figured out you are a pretty important part of her life"
"yes I think so"
"Bo want to tell me how you two met?"
"I don't know what this has to do with my therapy about my disability"
"Bo may I remind you, your obligations towards your doctors and yourself? You have committed to a certain program and you know it, so you want to answer or Lauren?"
Bo said nothing so Lauren finally answered.
"We met in Afganistan, Bo was there with the army, I was there with the red cross"
"Was it a injury meeting? Bo got hurt?"
"No, not really" Lauren
"I noticed her" Bo.
"Sorry Bo, I didn't hear you?"
"I said I noticed her around on the camp"
"You noticed her? How come? As a doctor? As a beautiful woman?"
"I guess so"
"And you got to know each other how?"
"Bo made sure I notice her too" Lauren
"I was showing off and being an idiot" Bo.
"Was it love at first sight?" There was silence in that question, nobody answered. Bo looked at Lauren.
"I think from my side yes, it was" Lauren.
"And Bo? She fell in love after? Bo?"
"I don't know what this has to do with my therapy"
"You know Bo we have two hours so we have to say something"
"Two hours? Its one hour usually"
"Well that's what you get for lying to me about Lauren and how she couldn't be here"
"Ok. Yes, I think I loved her since back then but didn't realized it"
"So you guys aren't an item now? You are close friends?"
"Yes we are a couple" Bo
"Yes, we are friends" Lauren.
"Sorry I don't follow" Doctor
Bo looked at Lauren again.
"I don't know" Bo said.
"A lot of things happened, we are trying to make a new start, we will see whats going to happen"
"Do you still love each other? I don't mean as friends but as lovers? You see a future in your relationship?"
"yeah we are working on that, we are meant to be and Lauren and Buz are my family yeah" Bo
"I am not that sure we have a future together, I mean if we can stay together" Lauren.
"What? Wtf?" Bo
"Bo please, you cant interrupt her, the point of such meetings are sincere talks that could make you see clearly about yourself in relation to your bond with is that Lauren? Why you think you don't have a future?"
"Because so many things happened that hurt our relationship, and I think we both need to make serious changes if we want this to work again and I don't see Bo being willing to change…."
"Cut the crap, you don't want to be with me, you are embarrassed, whatever" Bo.
"See? She never listens? Ever" Lauren.
"Lauren you're a doctor, from what I understand, you come from a well off family, you have higher education and a brilliant career, how come you were with someone like Bo? I mean coming from such different backrounds? Whats is the differences that attracted you? What do you see in someone like Bo?"
"Nothing I bet, she is too perfect and I am trash" Bo
"Bo, you want me to get you out of here and talk with Lauren alone? And you wont know what she said about you? That's fair?"
"Can you answer Lauren?
"At first maybe, I mean the differences brought us together, but I think it was more of an instant attraction to what Bo is, I mean strong and charming and having this dark aura around her, she wasn't shy, and she was so open, and free and I was getting that same feeling when I was with her, much more deep than just being different"
"How about you Bo?"
"She has a great body and a great fuck, cant you see?"
"So you aren't willing to take this seriously? I guess were are done here."
"Yeah I think so too." Lauren
"Thank you Lauren, I am sure we will talk again very soon."
"Ha, crazy doc going for a date" Bo
"Cant you behave for once in your life?" Lauren
"So you don't see a future eh? We cant be together? Well I don't want your fucking friendship nor your sorrow and stay away from me from now on."
"Fine! I willl"