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I Can't Be a Huntsman!


All he wanted was a normal life. But with an overly-aggressive childhood friend, her socially awkward sister and his own eroge-obsessed sibling, a normal life doesn't seem likely. Crossover w/ Oreimo.

Age Rating:

Of Guns and Roses

"Eh, going home again, Kousaka?"

"What do you expect? He's in the 'Going-Home Club',"

"But it's the last day of school! He could at least stick around with his classmates for a while!"

Kyousuke ignored his fellow students in favor of packing up his bag. He did twitch, however, at the mention of her.

"He's nothing like his sister."

"Kirino? Isn't she some kind of prodigy or something?"

Kirino Kousaka; his bratty, genius little sister. Whether it be grades, looks or combat ability, Kirino had it all. Apparently, she was also working part-time as a model.

"I heard she's being skipped ahead two years."

"Really? That'd make her our classmate, wouldn't it?"

"Are you daft? She's not going to a public school like we are. She's going to Beacon Academy!"

"No way! She's going to be a Huntress?!"

Of course he'd known that as well. Not that she had bothered to tell him but he'd known regardless. It almost seemed predestined; his perfect little sister, Kirino, was the shining star of Signal Academy. How could she not become a Huntress?

"Being outshined by his little sister… How sad."

Like he cared. If Kirino wanted to bask in the limelight, then good for her. Just leave him out of it. All he wanted was a normal life with his friends. He'd marry a nice, normal girl and get a normal desk job. He had no need for fame or glory.

Now, he realized that this may seem boring to some, but he enjoyed it. He didn't care if he was a disgrace to his family or not. His father, Daisuke, was the famous captain of the Vale Police Force; responsible for the capture of over a hundred notorious criminals. And on the other side, his mother, Yoshino, was a famed researcher of Dust and its properties.

That left him as the black sheep of his family. His father and sister mostly ignored him, like an annoying fly they couldn't get rid of. At least his mother still cared for him, but she was busy with her research and didn't come home often.

"How does he live with himself? His family must be ashamed."

Kyousuke merely sighed and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

"Oi!" a female voice growled. "Back off!"

"Shit, it's the Dragon!"

"Don't call me Dragon!" the girl snapped, causing the peanut gallery to scamper off in panic. "Honestly…" she muttered before turning to him with a frown on her face. "You shouldn't put up with that, Kyo."

"Just ignore them, Yang." The boy sighed with a bemused smile on his face.

"But they don't know what happened!" she argued. "Ever since Manami-"

"Yang," Kyousuke said stiffly, causing his childhood friend to flinch slightly. "Please. Just… don't."

"Right," the blonde murmured. "Sorry." She coughed slightly in an attempt to break the awkward silence that had fallen between them. "Sooo… You're coming to the graduation party tonight, right?"

"Do I have a choice?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Nope!" the girl gave him a grin before grabbing him in a headlock. Kyousuke suddenly found his face wedged against two very soft objects.

Now, you have to understand. Yang wasn't just any girl. She was the 'Dragon' of Signal Academy. Even if she detested the nickname, (granted, it was more the person who gave it to her that she disliked rather than the name itself) it didn't change the fact that she was one of the strongest fighters the school had ever seen. And if that wasn't enough, she also happened to be one of the most beautiful girls in the school; with curves that would leave any man drooling. So, needless to say, Kyousuke was being subject to several hateful stares for his current predicament.

"Y-Yang…!" the boy cried, though his voice was muffled by the girl's school blazer.

"You can only be a loner for so long before the Great Yang drags you back into the fold!" the blonde bombshell cackled. Finally, she released him, giving the poor boy a chance to breathe once again.

"W-Whatever you say, Yang…" Kyousuke muttered, still breathless.

"Seriously, though," the girl said, her voice losing its cheerfulness. "We only have a few weeks before I have to leave. Beacon is a boarding school, so I won't be able to check up on you as often as before."

"I know," he replied quietly, as the two finally began the long trek back home.

"Aw…" Yang's voice suddenly regained its usual playfulness. "Will you miiiiisssss me? All you have to do is take Beacon's enrollment test and we can be together for four more years."

The boy scoffed. "Please, I relish the chance to get away from your nagging for the next four years," he said, wincing as she punched him in the shoulder in retaliation. "But you know that even if I wanted to, I don't have the credentials to enroll."

"Who cares about credentials?" Yang demanded, crossing her arms. Kyousuke deliberately ignored the way it emphasized her chest. "All that matters is that you have the right skills to enroll. And I know you've got them."


"No, Kyo," the girl suddenly snapped. "Three years ago, you could take me on in a fight any day of the week. What happened to you? What happened to the boy who dreamed of fun and adventure?" She looked like she wanted to say more, but held off for whatever reason.

"He died that night three years ago, Yang," Kyousuke said tiredly. The girl flinched as they reached a crossroad. They would be splitting up here.


"Well, I'll see you."

"You'll be at the party, right?" She raised her fist threateningly at his retreating back. He simply made a noncommittal gesture and walked off. Yang waited until he had rounded the corner before making a sharp turn and slamming her gauntlet-clad fist into a nearby tree.

She watched in satisfaction as a large hole was carved straight through. "That damn idiot," she muttered.

"I'm home," Kyousuke said monotonously as he entered the large house his family lived in. There was no reply, but he hadn't been expecting one. He silently slipped his shoes off and entered the living room. To his surprise, his sister was already there, spread across the couch with a scroll in her lap as she conversed with someone on the screen.

"I know, right? Haha!" the girl giggled at the device. "He seriously said that?! Haha!"

"You're home before me?" Kyousuke asked in mild surprise. "Don't you have practice or something?"

She didn't even spare him a glance, instead continued laughing with whoever was on the other end of her call. Kyousuke's eyebrow twitched but otherwise, he didn't react. He took a breath and made his way to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of his favorite barley tea. After several gulps, he placed the glass in the sink to be washed later. He took one last glance at Kirino before rolling his eyes and making his way to his room upstairs.

He was half-way up the stairway when he realized, ''Ugh… I forgot to put the tea away… It's too troublesome to go all the way back down… but... it's my favorite...' With a great, heaving sigh, he turned around and made his way back to the living room. He reached for the doorknob, only to have the door swing open. He barely made out Kirino's surprised face before she crashed right into him, her handbag and its contents spilling all over the ground.

"Ah," he murmured, crouching down to help pick her things up. "Sorry."

He was shocked, however, when she suddenly slapped his hand away. "Don't," she said, her voice ice-cold. "It's fine. I'll do it myself." Kyousuke just watched as she quickly gathered her belongings and stood. "I'm going to my room. Don't bother me." And with that, she raced up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door behind her.

"Wow, has our relationship really degraded this far?" Usually, she would at least act somewhat civil around him. This time, she was downright hostile towards him. Shaking his head in bemusement, he reached for the door again, only for something bright to catch his eye. He turned to see a small pink DVD case under the coat rack.

Curious, he picked it up. On the cover was a cutesy anime character holding a huge staff, with black eyes and pink hair. What made one of Kyousuke's eyebrows arch was the outfit that the girl was wearing. She was a wearing an extremely explicit swimsuit-like armor.

There was only one thing to say in this situation.

"What the actual fuck?" Kyousuke exclaimed. He quickly scanned the box's title. "Stardust Witch Meruru: Limited First Edition and Beach OVA."

Now, he was no stranger to anime. He couldn't exactly be described as an otaku, but he knew what was hot with today's youth. Stardust Witch Meruru certainly wasn't what he would call 'mainstream'. Kyousuke opened the DVD case and his eyes nearly bugged out when he saw that the disk did not match the box.

"Love Little Sisters 2…" He repeated the title several times to ensure that his eyes were not deceiving him. "Rated MA18+"

He quickly ran possible owners through his head. Mom? She was too busy to bother with something like this, so she was out. Dad? He despised anything otaku related, so he was out. And it sure as hell wasn't his. So, that left only one person.


Kyousuke's mind nearly blue-screened, but that was the only logical answer. 'It must have fallen out of her bag,' He realized with a start. 'Which was why she was so hostile when I tried to help her.'

While part of him was happy that she wasn't angry with him, another part of him was still trying to come to grips with the realization that his perfect little sister — Kirino — was playing porno games involving little sisters. So shocked was he, that his body moved on autopilot as he returned the barley tea to the refrigerator and made his way up to his room. It was only when he closed the door behind him that he realized that the DVD case was still in his hand.

"Crap…!" Kyousuke muttered. "What do I do with this?"

He couldn't just return it to Kirino. He could picture it now…

"Hey, Kirino, you dropped your little sister porn out in the hallway. Here ya go!"

Yeah. That would turn out well. Kyousuke had seen her destroy a test dummy in combat training. He did not want to be on the receiving end of her wrath. No, he could not return it to her.

"I can't just leave it in here either," he muttered. "Who knows what Mom will say if she finds it. And God have mercy should Dad find it…"

Maybe he could have Yang burn it? No, she would never let him live it down.

"Wait, what the hell am I doing?" Kyousuke sighed, resisting the urge to facepalm. "I'll just put it back where I found it." He turned sharply on his heel and began making his way downstairs. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he was surprised to see Kirino on the ground, her rear end high in the air as she searched for something. Kyousuke quickly hid the box behind his back as she turned towards him.

"Ah… W-What the hell were you staring at, pervert?!"

"Like hell I was!" He snapped. "What the hell are you doing, anyway?"

"T-That's none of your business!" Kirino growled just as the front door swung open, prompting both teens to flinch and turn towards the people entering in mild shock.

"We're home~!" their mother called out, still wearing her white lab coat over a dark purple business suit and high-heeled boots. "Oh! You're both here?"

Kyousuke paled as he spotted his father standing behind her, still dressed in full police regalia. "M-Mom? Dad?"

"Looks like everyone's home for once," Daisuke nodded. "Good. It'll be nice to have a family dinner once in a while."

"I'll get started~!" Yoshino said eagerly. "But first, come give me a hug, you two!"

"A-Ahaha…" Kyousuke chuckled nervously, still hiding the DVD case behind his back. "M-Mom, don't you think we're a little old for that…?"

"Kyousuke," their father said sternly. "You haven't seen your mother in days. Give her a hug."

"Y-Yes, sir…" he muttered as he reluctantly walked into his mother's arms, prompting Kirino's eyes to lock onto the DVD case still hidden behind his back. Her eyes widened and she began sputtering indignantly.

"Kirino?" their mother called, reaching out to her. "Come give me a hug~!"

"Y-Yes, Mother," she said, glaring at Kyousuke murderously. The boy flinched.

Once Yoshino had her fill of affection, she released them. "Well, I'll get started on dinner. Kirino, would you like to help?"

"Alright, Mother," the brown-haired girl nodded before turning to Kyousuke with a look that clearly said, 'This isn't over.'

The unfortunate teen just groaned.

"Kyousuke, have you decided which school you're going to apply to?" Daisuke questioned as the small family sat through dinner. A few meters away, the television was turned to the local news channel, going on about recent happenings in the city.

"Yeah." The boy nodded. "I've been thinking about Flicker Academy. They don't have many requirements, so I should get in without any problems." His father frowned but nodded regardless. Kirino simply threw him a disgusted look before turning to the TV once again.

"In other news, the notorious criminal Roman Torchwick has been spotted in the area," the news anchor said, drawing all their attention. "Be advised. Torchwick is listed as armed and highly dangerous."

The anchor's image was replaced by a video clip of Daisuke earlier today. "The Vale Police Department advises all citizens to be on alert. Do not approach Torchwick. If spotted, the police should be called immediately."

"Roman Torchwick?" Yoshino asked, concerned. "The international criminal?"

"Yes." Daisuke scowled. "And if that isn't enough, there are reports that recently, he's been seen dealing with the White Fang."

The White Fang was a group that advocated equality between humans and Faunus, people with animal-like characteristics. Although in the eyes of the law, humans and Faunus were already equal, lingering racism led to many Faunus being treated as inferior by humans.

Though once a peaceful group, the White Fang experienced a change in leadership a few years ago and begun committing acts of terror against several prominent Dust companies for their supposed ill treatment of their Faunus laborers.

"And if they're involved, things could get messy," their father continued, crossing his arms. "But rest assured. We'll catch him and his White Fang cohorts."

Kyousuke wiped his mouth with a napkin. "I'm done," he announced, standing up with his plate. "Thanks for the food, but I need to go get ready for the graduation party. Yang will be waiting for me tomorrow with the beating of a lifetime if I don't show up."

"My, my, Kyousuke," his mother said slyly. "If you want to go spend time with your girlfriend, you don't have to lie."

"First of all, I'm not lying," he said wearily. "And second of all, she's not my girlfriend."

"Oh, but it's only a matter of time." She winked at him. "Trust me. Moms know these things."

"Whatever you say, Mom," Kyousuke said, rolling his eyes. "I'll probably stop by a convenience store on my way home. Do you need anything?"

"No, but we've been running low on Dust cartridges," Yoshino replied. "Could you stop by a Dust shop and pick some up? The one on Farbe Street should still be open. I'll lend you some money."

"Sure." He nodded before placing his dishes in the sink and making his way to his room upstairs. Kyousuke had barely closed the door behind him when he began hearing footfalls thundering up the stairs. An instant later his door flew open and Kirino stormed in.

"Give. It." She growled.

"Hmm?" He hummed, a smirk forming on his face. "What are you talking about?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Kirino snapped.

"Oh, you mean this?" Kyousuke reached into his desk drawer and pulled out the Meruru box.

"Give it to me!" She lunged at him, but he quickly raised it high over his head.

"So it was yours!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about!" she said as she attempted to snatch it from his hand. "I-I'd never watch that anime!"

"Your mouth says one thing but your body says another!" Kyousuke smirked as he ducked under another one of her lunges. "If this isn't yours, then why do you want it?"

"That's-" She stopped, her hand balled into a tight fist. "I-I was…"

Kyousuke raised an eyebrow as she seemed to struggle finding the correct words. Finally, when he saw tears beginning to form in her eyes, he sighed and shoved the DVD into her hands.


"H-Huh?" she sniffed, eyeing the box in confusion.

"Just make sure Dad doesn't find out about it, or he'll go ballistic," Kyousuke said, shooing her out of the room. "Come on, now. I need to get dressed."

"I-It's not mine!" Kirino snapped.

"Then throw it away for me, would you?" He sighed. "Seriously though. Get out. I need to get ready."

"I… sure… I guess I could do that…" the girl muttered. She turned and made to leave but stopped, one foot already out the door. "D-Do you think it's… weird?"


"I-I said, if - IF this was mine… would you think I was weird?"

Kyousuke stared at her for several moments before sighing. "No, I wouldn't," he said truthfully. "You like what you like. Who am I to judge you?"


"What do you want from me?" the boy demanded. "A poem? I won't judge you for your hobbies. Now get out. If I'm late, Yang will kill me."

Strangely enough, at the mention of Yang's name, Kirino's entire body went stiff. "Fine!" she suddenly snapped. "Go and see your girlfriend. Like I care!"

Kyousuke watched in mild shock as she stormed out, slamming the door shut as she did. "...What the hell is her problem?"

Kyousuke scowled heavily as he walked down the dimly lit street. He glanced at his watch to find that it was well past midnight. "This is the last time I ever go partying with Yang," he muttered to himself. Despite there being no alcohol to speak of at the party, the blonde had still managed to get heavily intoxicated.

How? He had no idea.

The poor boy had been forced to carry her home after she had passed out in the middle of the dance floor. It had all come to a head in an embarrassing incident, in which Yang's father had walked in on him laying her to bed. It wouldn't have been so bad if Yang — in her drunken stupor — hadn't been attempting to kiss him. After several terrifying minutes in which there was a great deal of shouting and pleading, Kyousuke began making his way home.

"Ah, damn," the teen muttered, suddenly remembering his mother's request. "Are Dust shops even open this late?"

Eventually, he made his way to Farbe Street, where his mother said a shop would be open and to her credit, she'd been correct. Thankful that he wouldn't have to go around town searching, Kyousuke entered the shop, aptly named 'From Dust Till Dawn'. He nodded at the elderly shopkeeper before heading towards the merchandise. Strolling through the aisles, the black-haired boy began examining the mystic material.

Dust was an energy propellant, and acted as a power source for everything from day-to-day appliances to machines of war. There were many different varieties of Dust, with properties such as electricity, fire or ice. The more poetic often called it 'Nature's Wrath' due to its key role in the ancient war against the Creatures of Grimm and the eventual rise of human civilization.

After a quick scan down the aisle, Kyousuke found the type of Dust he was looking for and began piling them into the shopping bag his mother had given him before leaving the house. Once he had the desired amount, he made his way to the cashier, only to freeze in shock as several men suddenly began storming into the shop with guns drawn. Most of them wore dark black suits and red sunglasses, despite the time of day. But the lead man had a familiar face that Kyousuke had seen earlier this evening.

"Roman Torchwick…" he muttered. The red-haired man turned after hearing his name called.

"Oh, so you've heard of me?" Roman asked with a smirk. The man had bright red hair and green eyes. He wore a pure white suit jacket with black slacks and had a black bowler hat sitting crookedly on his head. Hanging from his lip was a large cigar and in his hands was a long cane.

"Who hasn't?" Kyousuke replied, raising his hands submissively as one of the henchmen pointed a gun at his head. "Being all over the news doesn't exactly help with your anonymity."

"Ooh, aren't we clever?" the man said, giving a mock round of applause. He chuckled before gesturing at his goons. "Grab the crystals." The men in black began spreading throughout the shop, grabbing whatever they could. Kyousuke heard one of the men demand that someone raise their arms.

'Damn,' Kyousuke thought. ' Someone else is getting caught up in this?'

"Are you… robbing me?" a voice that was very familiar to him asked. Kyousuke's eyes widened. 'It can't be…!'

He felt his panic spike as one of the henchmen was sent flying across the room. Roman glanced at the unconscious goon before nodding at the man currently pointing a gun at Kyousuke's head. The man nodded back and ran to go take care of the problem.

The black-haired boy ducked as the man and a large red blur went flying out the store window with a loud crash. His head snapping up, Kyousuke gazed out the now-shattered window to see a girl with red hair so dark, it was nearly black. Her outfit consisted of a one-piece dress of various shades of red and black as well as a pair of thick combat boots. However, her most prominent article of clothing was a dark red cloak wrapped around her shoulders. The girl smirked as she hefted an enormous scythe over her shoulder.

"Ruby?!" Kyousuke shouted, his fears confirmed.

"Big Bro?" the girl replied, her shock mirroring his own.

Ruby Rose was Yang's younger half-sister. She was in Kirino's class, two years beneath him. Like his own little sister, Ruby was also considered to be a child prodigy, with her combat skills surpassing even Kirino's.

But unlike Kirino, Ruby was a social dunce. 'Awkward' was the only way to describe her. As a result, she didn't have many friends and usually spent her time either training or following Yang around. Kyousuke's own relationship to her was mostly similar to her relationship with Yang. He was one of the few people she could genuinely call a close friend. Hell, Kyousuke considered Ruby a better little sister than his own blood sister.

And so, he could only watch with dread as his surrogate little sister prepared to take on a group of armed criminals.

"Ruby, what are you doing?!" Kyousuke hissed, hopping through the broken window and marching over to her. She glared at him, though in all honesty, it was more of a pout.

"I can't just stand back and do nothing!" Ruby said defensively. He responded with a swift flick to the forehead. "Ow!" She glared up at him with tears in her eyes, rubbing the spot gingerly.

"Well, this is certainly cute," Roman drawled, a single eyebrow raised. He glanced at his goons with a look that clearly said, 'What are you waiting for?' "Get them." Immediately, the men rushed through the broken windows and began sprinting towards them, weapons raised.

"Just stand back, Bro," Ruby grinned. "Crescent Rose and I will deal with them."

"Ruby, stop!" he shouted, but was duly ignored. "These people are dangerous!" He knew full well that Ruby was capable of handling herself. But if she got hurt, Yang would never forgive him. Hell, he would never forgive himself.

"Damn it…" Kyousuke muttered as he watched the small girl taking on an entire mob of criminals. It was just like that night three years ago…

"Damn it…" Memories began surfacing in his mind. Flashes of light. Screaming. Blood.

"Damn it…!" Anger. Fear. Self-loathing.

"Damn it!" Yang. Ruby. Manami...


Ruby flinched as she heard a voice suddenly shout from just a few inches away. She turned, eyes wide to see Kyousuke standing beside her, blocking a strike from behind with…

The most gorgeous blade she'd ever laid eyes on. It was primarily silver in color, with a bright red paint running along the edge. On the flat of the blade, she could barely make out an inscription.

Invoke My Name - I am Spark

Kyousuke's hands were currently wrapped around a black hilt with one finger resting on what appeared to be… a trigger?

"B-Bro…?" Ruby breathed, staring at the weapon in awe. Kyousuke grunted and violently kicked his opponent away from him. The black-haired boy glared with angry eyes at the men now attempting to surround them. His grip on his blade tightened. It had been three years since he'd wielded it in combat. And despite the time away from it, it still felt so right. Like it belonged with him. And he hated it; how right it felt in his hand.

He took a deep, calming breath. "Ruby," Kyousuke said after a while.

"Y-Yes?" the girl squeaked. She'd been so busy making googly eyes at his weapon that she'd lost focus on the battle entirely.

"It's been a while, so I'm trusting you to watch my back, okay?" He smiled at her. She flushed red.

"Y-Yes!" Ruby exclaimed. "Of course!"

Kyousuke spun his blade in a small arc before dashing forward. A blur of red in his peripheral vision told him that Ruby had done the same. He almost scoffed when one of the men attempted to intercept him with a metal pole. The look of shock on the man's face when it got sliced in half was absolutely priceless. A quick roundhouse to the temple sent the man tumbling to the ground.

"Watch out!" Ruby's voice shouted as she quickly intercepted a slash from his flank.

'Sloppy,' He heard his old teacher's voice echo in his head. Kyousuke nodded at the redhead swiftly before shifting his weapon. Ruby watched as the sword transformed into an submachine gun before her eyes. The man's eyes widened as Kyousuke leveled the gun at his chest.


The goon was sent flying backwards into a trashcan. Luckily for him, his aura had protected him from the brunt of the shot. But he wouldn't be getting back up any time soon. Roman stepped out onto the sidewalk, glancing down at the man. "You were worth every cent, truly." He said this with a look of disgust. "Well, kiddos. I think we can all agree that it's been an eventful evening."

He threw his cigar onto the ground and used his cane to stamp out the remaining embers.

"And as much as I'd like to stick around…" He raised the cane, revealing the barrel of a gun. "I'm afraid this is where we part ways."

"Shit," Kyousuke grunted as a small scope propped up on the man's weapon. He and Ruby immediately leapt to the side as a small Dust flare was fired from the man's cane. An enormous explosion wracked the street where the flare landed and sent the two teens flying into the wall of a nearby apartment building. Police sirens could be heard blaring in the distance.

Kyousuke glanced up, his ears still ringing from the explosion, to see that Roman had disappeared in the chaos.

"He's up there!" he vaguely heard Ruby exclaim, pointing across the street. The black-haired boy followed her gaze to see the criminal in question swiftly climbing up a fire escape. "We have to go after him!"

"Ruby, wait!" Kyousuke shouted, but was once again ignored as Ruby dashed across the street towards the ladder. "Ugh, stubborn girl!" He quickly chased after her and the two made their way up the fire escape. Upon nearing the top Ruby leapt up the final few steps and extended Crescent Rose.

"Stop right there!" the girl shouted as Kyousuke pulled himself up to join her.

From across the rooftop, Roman paused and heaved an irritated sign. "Persistent, aren't you?"

Suddenly, a loud roaring noise caused the two teens to cover their ears as a Dust-powered helicopter known as a 'Bullhead' took off from the alleyway beneath them. The enormous machine began creating a downward draft as it rose high into the air, nearly sending the teens flying over the roof's edge. Kyousuke looked up to see Roman jump into the helicopter before turning to face them with a grin on his face. "End of the line, kiddos!" He shouted over the copter's engine and tossed a red Dust crystal at their feet.

The black-haired boy's eyes widened. "Ruby, watch out!" he roared, but the redhead couldn't hear him over the roaring wind. Kyousuke grit his teeth and tackled her to the ground, shielding her with his body. He closed his eyes, braced himself and waited.

Roman let out a gleeful whoop as he watched the rooftop explode. His laughter died, however, when he saw a purple Dust shield where his targets had just been standing.

Kyousuke waited for what seemed like an eternity, but the blast never came. Cautiously, he opened his eyes and looked up in shock to see a tall, blonde-haired woman standing over them, her violet cloak billowing dramatically in the wind. In her hand was a riding crop raised high above her had, deploying a large Dust shield.

"Hmph!" The woman scoffed, shifting her glasses and staring at the red-haired man coldly.

"A… Huntress?" Kyousuke muttered.

"Umm… B-Bro…?" Ruby said quietly. "C-Could you get off?"

The boy glanced down at their rather embarrassing position and leapt off of her with a startled yelp. "S-Sorry!" he exclaimed, scratching the back of his head. Ruby simply nodded, her entire face flushed red. The two simply stared at each other, an awkward silence filling the air.

"Ahem." The blonde woman coughed, breaking them out of their daze.

"R-Right!" Kyousuke muttered, drawing his sword once again. Ruby did the same with her Crescent Rose.

Satisfied that they were no longer distracted, the woman turned her attention to the man in the helicopter. Her eyes narrowed and she flicked her wrist, sending bolts of purple energy flying into the vehicle. The Bullhead rocked from the impact, sending Roman stumbling back. He quickly grabbed hold of the door and entered the cockpit.

"We've got a Huntress!" he shouted to the dark-haired woman piloting the vehicle. She nodded and left the cockpit, handing the controls to Roman as she did so.

Back on the roof, the blonde Huntress narrowed her eyes and raised her riding crop once more. With a flick of her wrist, storm clouds began appearing in the sky above. From the clouds, icicles began falling, piercing the hull of the aircraft. Inside the helicopter, a dark silhouette stepped into view. Kyousuke was unable to make out her face in the shadows, but he could clearly see her hands igniting as she gathered fire-based Dust in her hands.

"Ruby, fall back!" Kyousuke shouted over the wind. "We'll just get in the way!"

"But, we have to help!" she yelled back.

"Then help me provide covering fire!" She nodded and the two teens fell back, just as a fireball came hurtling down from the aircraft. The Huntress blocked the attack with a shield, but her eyes widened as she saw the ground beneath her beginning to glow.

Flipping backwards, she managed to escape injury and looked up to see the helicopter being pelted with bullets. The blonde woman glanced behind her to see the two teenagers taking cover behind an air conditioning unit while firing their respective weapons.

Glad that they at least had enough sense to stay out of her way, she returned her attention to the aircraft above her. Raising her weapon, she began gathering the shattered pieces of concrete the prior explosion had created. Once a sufficient amount had been gathered, she used the rubble to form a lance and hurled it at the aircraft. Without a moment's hesitation, shadowy woman in the helicopter effortlessly destroyed it with a blast of fire.

Kyousuke and Ruby could only watch the ensuing duel in awe. This was what Hunters did on a daily basis.

'This is what Kirino will be learning to do,' the boy thought numbly. He vaguely registered Ruby shifting Crescent Rose back into its sniper rifle mode and begin firing at the woman. Almost robotically, he did the same with his weapon. Not that it helped much. The woman was swatting the bullets away as though they were flies.

Finally, after one last explosion, the aircraft seemed ready for takeoff. With a loud boom the Bullhead took off into the night sky, leaving the two teens alone with the blonde Huntress. Kyousuke flinched as the woman turned to stare at them coldly. He could hear police sirens rapidly approaching their location.

"Hey, Ruby," he muttered when the woman began approaching them. "I really think we should leave now."

But it seemed that Ruby had other ideas. She quickly rushed toward the woman and held out a small notebook. "You're a Huntress?! Can I have your autograph?"

"This is the police!" He heard a voice shouting through a megaphone. "We have the building surrounded! Come out with your hands up!"

Kyousuke facepalmed. Hard. There was only one thing he could say in a situation like this.

"Fuck my life..."

"Of all the boneheaded, irresponsible things I've ever witnessed, this takes the cake!" the blonde woman ranted as she paced around the interrogation room at the Vale City Police Department. "I hope you two realize that your actions will not be taken lightly."

Kyousuke flinched, seeing his father glaring at him from the corner of the room. "You endangered not only yourselves, but innocent bystanders while you were busy playing hero," Daisuke growled. "Do you have anything you'd like to say, Kyousuke?"

The black-haired boy merely sighed, shaking his head with a quiet, "No, sir…"

Ruby immediately protested. "It was my idea, Mr. Kousaka!" she exclaimed. "Kyousuke was just trying to protect me!"

"While that is certainly gallant of him," the blonde said coolly. "It's still no excuse. If it were up to me or Captain Kousaka, you'd be sent home with a pat on the back—" Ruby perked up at this. "And a slap on the wrist!" The girl flinched as the woman slammed the table with her riding crop.

"Fortunately for you two," Daisuke continued. "There's someone here that thinks otherwise."

The door opened and a middle-aged man with gray hair and brown eyes walked in. He had a slightly crooked nose, on which a small pair of teashades sat. The man wore a smart black suit and a dark-green scarf. In one hand he held a tray of cookies and in the other was a tray with two glasses of milk.

"Ruby Rose," he said in lieu of introduction. He placed the two trays in front of them and leaned in towards Ruby. "Hmm… You have silver eyes…"

"U-Um…" the girl stuttered, slightly weirded out.

"And," the man continued, turning his gaze towards the boy beside her. "Kyousuke Kousaka, son of our very own Captain Kousaka, correct?"

"Y-Yes, sir…" Kyousuke muttered awkwardly before clearing his throat. "May I ask who you are?" The man blinked, while the blonde woman began sputtering indignantly. In the corner of his eye, Kyousuke could see his father facepalm.

"B-Bro…!" Ruby whisper-yelled. "That's Professor Ozpin, the headmaster at Beacon Academy!"

"E-EH?!" Really? He had no idea!

Suddenly, the man let out a great laugh, as though this entire situation amused him greatly. Which, it probably did. "Oh, I certainly needed that." The man sighed, rubbing a tear from his eye. "Yes, I'm headmaster at Beacon. It's very nice to meet you, Mister Kousaka, Miss Rose."

"Nice to meet you, Professor!" Ruby exclaimed energetically, while Kyousuke merely nodded at him.

"So," Ozpin continued, gesturing at a scroll, which was currently showing replays of Ruby in combat with the henchmen. "Miss Rose. Where did you learn how to do this?"

"Signal Academy…?" Ruby replied, a bit uncertainly.

"They taught you how to use one of the most dangerous weapons ever designed?" Ozpin repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, one teacher in particular." She corrected herself.

"I see…" The man gestured towards the tray of cookies. "Please, help yourself."

Ruby glanced at Kyousuke, who shrugged and took one. Ruby did likewise and hesitantly took a bite. And another. Soon enough, she had five or six cookies stuffed into her mouth. The adults stared at her incredulously while Kyousuke, who had seen this happen several times already, simply ignored it.

"...It's just that I've only seen one other scythe user this skilled before," Ozpin continued after several moments of silence. "A dusty old crow…"

"Mhh dasmaunklll," Ruby nodded, her cheeks still bulging with chocolatey-goodness.

"Ruby, chew and swallow." Kyousuke sighed. The girl did so.

"Sorry." She smiled sheepishly. "That's my uncle, Qrow."

"He works as a teacher at Signal," the black-haired teen elaborated for her. Ruby nodded enthusiastically.

"Yup!" the girl said with a grin. "I was complete garbage before he taught me. Now I'm all: Yah! Wapah! Shakabooie!" She emphasized her speech by making several random kung fu moves, nearly smacking Kyousuke in the face several times as she did.

"So I've noticed." Ozpin chuckled before turning his attention to the boy beside her. "And what about you, Mr. Kousaka? Glynda, if you please?" The woman nodded and changed the video clip from Ruby's battle performance to Kyousuke's. The frame froze on an image of him wielding his sword.

"An impressive weapon if I do say so myself," Ozpin remarked, staring at him intently. "The gunblade was one of the first converting weapons ever invented, but it's also known to be one of the most difficult to master."

"I'm hardly what you'd call a master." Kyousuke shrugged.

"Indeed," the woman, Glynda, chided. "Your form was shoddy at best."

"I believe that would be the result of three years of not wielding it," the man continued, a knowing look on his face. Kyousuke's expression tightened.

"But it was still sooooooo cool!" Ruby suddenly broke in, much to everyone's surprise. "Yang told me stories about it, but I've never seen it with my own eyes! That's Big Bro's famous gunblade, Blazefire Saber! Oh, it's so cool!" The room's occupants simply stared at her in shock for several moments as she continued to gush about the sword. Once she realized that they were all staring, Ruby quieted down with a nervous giggle.

"Haha, sorry," she said with a sheepish grin. "I'm kind of a dork when it comes to weapons."

"I can tell." Ozpin chuckled. "Though I must say, I find it surprising that an adorable girl such as yourself is enrolled in the combat program at Signal."

"Well..." Ruby smiled. "It's always been my dream to become a Huntress. I've only got two more years at Signal. Then I plan on applying at Beacon. You see, my sister is applying there this year. She's trying to become a Huntress, I'm trying to become a Huntress — y'know, cause I-wanna-help-people-and-my-parents-always-said-you-should-help-others. And-I-thought-I-might-as-well-make-a-career-out-of-it. I-mean-the-police-are-cool-but-Huntresses-are-so-much-more-romantic-and-exciting-and kyaaaa"

Once again, Ruby found the entire room staring at her, prompting her to deflate in embarrassment. Ozpin chuckled for a moment. "So, you want to come to my school?"

"More than anything." Ozpin shared a look with Glynda, who merely sighed. The man then turned his attention to Kyousuke once more.

"And what about you, Mister Kousaka?"

"What about me?" The boy raised an eyebrow.

"I believe your sister will be enrolling this year," Ozpin elaborated. "Two years early, if I remember correctly."


"Will you be enrolling this year as well?" he prodded, leaning forward slightly on his cane.

"No," Kyousuke replied bluntly.

"Oh?" The man frowned. "And may I ask why not?"

"To start, I don't have the credentials," Kyousuke said with a shrug. "And as you've pointed out, I've barely even touched my gunblade in three years."

"I see." Ozpin hummed thoughtfully. "Well, what would you say if I offered you a place at my school regardless?"

"I'd say you must have a few screws loose," the boy replied.

"Kyousuke!" his father snapped. The black-haired teen flinched, but held his gaze firmly on Ozpin.

"You'd refuse, then?" the man asked. At Kyousuke's nod, he turned to Ruby once again. "And what about you, Miss Rose?"

"A-Are you seriously offering what I think you're offering?" the girl squeaked, barely able to contain her excitement.

"On one condition," Ozpin smiled.

"Anything!" Ruby cried.

"My condition is, Mister Kousaka must attend as well."

Kyousuke's eyes widened as Ruby suddenly turned to him with her infamous puppy-dog-eyes. He grit his teeth as the entire room looked at him, awaiting his answer. "Kyousuke," his father spoke up. "Professor Ozpin has been very kind thus far. He's used his authority to clear up everything regarding tonight's incident and ensured that your names will be kept well away from the media. You will accept his offer."

"Please, please, pleeeeeaase!" Ruby begged, her eyes shining with tears.

"Damn it…" Kyousuke murmured before glaring at Ozpin. "Why?"

"I'm afraid I must ask you to elaborate your question, Mister Kousaka."

"Why are you so determined to get me into your school?"

The gray-haired man just stared at him for several moments. Finally, he folded his fingers in front of his mouth and leaned forward onto the table, staring at him intently. "Mister Kousaka," he said this with a strange look in his eye. "When I look at you, all I see is wasted potential. You could be great and yet, you hold yourself back. Why is that?"

"I have a feeling you already know why, Professor," Kyousuke said wearily. He glanced at his father once again, meeting his steely gaze for several moments before turning to Ruby, who was still staring at him pleadingly. Then, with a great, world-weary sigh, he nodded. "Fine. I'll accept your offer, Professor."

"Excellent." Ozpin smiled as Ruby cheered in the seat next to him. Glynda rolled her eyes while his father simply nodded in satisfaction.

Kyousuke, on the other hand, just rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation.

'I just want a normal life!' he lamented to himself.

"Your mother and sister are asleep," Daisuke said as he dropped his son off in front of their home. "Don't wake them up. I'm still needed for the investigation, so I probably won't be back tonight. Don't stay up too late."

"Yeah, yeah," the boy muttered as he got out of the car.

"And Kyousuke!" the large man called out to his retreating back, prompting Kyousuke to turn, a single eyebrow raised. His father nodded at him. "Good work tonight."

The teenager could only stare in shock as his father promptly pulled out of the driveway and sped away towards the police station. "Did he just… praise me?" Shaking his head at the surrealism of the situation, he made his way inside. As expected, all the lights were out. Kyousuke slipped his shoes off and gingerly made his way upstairs. Once he found the door to his room, he slipped inside.

Immediately, his eyes were drawn to a bright light sitting on his bed. The light of some sort of electronic device. "Who's there?!" Kyousuke growled, flipping the lights on and placing his hand on the hilt of his gunblade. Before he could even react, however, a hand was clamped over his mouth. He struggled for a moment before his eyes found the angry blue orbs of his sister. "Krrnn?!" His shout was muffled by Kirno's hand.

"Shut up!" she hissed. "Mom's still asleep!" He calmed himself and she released her grip on him.

"What are you doing in my room?" the boy demanded. She, of course, ignored him.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kirino growled. "Banging that blonde bimbo and her huge tits? How disgusting!"

"First of all, don't call her that," Kyousuke said sternly. "Second, no, I wasn't. And third, don't say tits!"

"Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for you to get home?" she continued as though he hadn't spoken.

Kyousuke raised an eyebrow at her. "And why the hell were you waiting for me?"

His sister grinned at him and shoved a CD case into his arms. "Play this and finish it by Monday."

"Like hell!" the boy roared, staring at the box incredulously. "This is an eroge!"

"It's not just an eroge!" she exclaimed, stars in her eyes. "It's Rabu Rabu Imouto! It's considered a masterpiece!"

"That's not the point!" Kyousuke hissed, though it was clear that she wasn't taking no for an answer.

'I just want my normal life back!'

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