Maybe, Maybe Not
How many times in the past few years had he hoped for this? Too many to count. This was their second chance. He would always be thankful for this time he had with her. Suddenly she shifted and a moan escaped her. Leaning over, he saw her eyes were squeezed tightly shut and her jaw was clenched so tight he could hear her teeth grating together. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest.
"Shepard," he whispered in her ear.
Another moan. "Shepard," he said again pulling her tighter against him. He kissed her neck. His lips brushed lightly across her skin. "I'm here. It's only a dream."
Her eyes popped open and she started, sucking in a deep breath. "Kaidan?"
"Shhh…it's alright. I've got you." She relaxed against him, and within a few moments her heart settled down too. "You okay?" He asked concern crossing his features. Shepard nodded tensely. He could tell she was not fine, but he wouldn't push the matter. She would tell him when she was ready.
"I'm sorry, didn't mean to wake you." She stated pushing up onto an elbow. "What time is it?" she asked craning her neck to peer at the alarm clock. The hands fixed on five and twelve with the second hand ticking away at their time together. "Crap, I've got to get up."
Kaidan sighed and released his hold on her. She slipped from bed tossing the covers to the side. He watched her make her way across the room her form a silhouette in the ambient glow of the fish tank's white light. Sitting up, he continued to stare at her with an unwavering gaze. Never before had he watched her get dress.
Shepard must have felt is gaze lingering on her. She had pulled a hairbrush from one of the top drawers and was gliding it through her hair when she turned slightly catching his eyes. Her bright green met light brown. His breath slipped away. A knowing smile ghosted across her full lips. "Like what you see, Major?" She asked placing the brush down and pulling out a hair tie and pins.
"I would be lying if I said I didn't."
A twirl of laughter escaped her. Kaidan felt pride swelling in his chest. He had made her laugh and smile. He hadn't seen her do either of those in a while.
"You don't have to leave just, yet," He said slipping from the bed and walking over to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist. Her bare skin was warmer than he expected. He kissed her neck. Her hands were in her hair trying to tie it up out of her face.
She sighed and leaned back against him. "As tempting as the offer is, I'm due in the War Room in half an hour for a debriefing. But we will definitely have to do this again some time." She paused finishing up her hair. It was pulled back into a ponytail. She twisted the tail and started pushing hair pins into. When she finished she turned, looping her arms around his neck and kissed him gently on the lips. "I missed you." She whispered, her breath tickling his lips.
"I think that's mine line." He replied running his hands up the smooth skin of her back. He shook his head, leaning in to steal another quick kiss. She smiled at him and let her arms fall.
"Yeah, I do have to go."
Kaidan chuckled and released her. "Alright, Shepard, we'll pick this up later."
She nodded and turned opening drawers to grab out fresh clothes. Kaidan moved around the room picking up discarded clothing, his and hers.
"You don't have to do that." Shepard said as she started up the steps into the small bathroom. "I can get my clothes later."
"Yeah, because Commander Shepard has time while saving the galaxy to tidy up her room." He looked around, everything was neat and tidy... He could tell that Shepard attempted to make it homier with the model ships, pet fish and pet hamster what had she called him…Boo, but it still felt cold.
"No I don't." Her voice echoed down to him from the bathroom.
Kaidan folded her discarded clothing and placed it neatly on the bed. Then he began climbing into his own clothes. He had just pulled on his pants when Shepard came back down the stairs. She eyed him up before sitting on the edge of the bed.
Kaidan's blood rushed through him at the look she given him. Like he was a piece of chocolate and she wanted to eat him up. He yanked his shirt over his head, before he got any more crazy ideas.
"Did I tell you, last night was perfect?" Shepard commented as she shoved her feet into her boots. He noticed instead of the traditional fatigues she wore, an N7 hoodie with black shirt and simple comfortable looking pants. She tucked her pants into her boots.
Kaidan smiled and sat on the bed next to her dragging one of his boots out from under the bed. "Possibly." He replied, though his voice held more than a note of confidence to it. He knew she had enjoyed it.
Shepard laughed again. "Humble much, Major?"
"No, just a fact." He tugged on his boot and glanced around for the other one. He located it under the coffee table. Sighing, he stood up and retrieved it. Sitting back down he noticed Shepard was watching him again, her eyes dancing.
"What?" He inquired.
"Nothing, just enjoying the view." She stated standing up she stretched her arms above her head popping her shoulders.
Kaidan felt his cheeks grow hot at the comment. He pretended to busy himself with tying up his boots. Shepard was a hard person to make blush, and she just shrugged off comments left and right, but she knew what to say and how to say in order to get Kaidan to blush…and honestly he had seen the game she played with James.
It was like she had made it a personal joke trying to get the big guy to turn red with embarrassment. And she had on several occasions reduced James to a stuttering and mumbling idiot. Shepard had the same effect on him too. For all his teasing and flirting with her, she always got the upper hand.
Pivoting abruptly, Shepard knelt and grabbed his hands. "Are you blushing, Major?" She asked innocently. A knowing smile crept onto her face.
Kaidan focused on his boots. "Maybe," Not releasing her hands he stood up, pulling her with him. "Maybe not," He lowered his face a couple inches from hers. "You might have to start trying harder to get me to blush, Commander." He let go of one of her hands and brought it up to gently cup her chin. She licked her lips and a wick gleam entered her eyes.
Kaidan's breath caught in his throat. She was aching beautiful in that moment. His mind snapped a quick picture of her like this. His thumb brushed her moistened lips. She shivered at his touch. Leaning forward, he lightly pressed his lips to hers. Her lips were warm and soft, and she tasted of spearmint.
She returned the kiss. He tried to place everything he was feeling into his kiss. His love, lust, loyalty, pride, honor and finally his hope for them being together. He had taken things slow at first. And he explained to her last night while they laid each others arms for the first time in almost three years why he had suddenly wanted to go to the next level. He didn't want to rush things, but after everything that had been happening lately…it had felt right, so right.
He broke the kiss as he did he traced his thumb over her lips again. "I love you." He whispered matter-of-factly.
Shepard's breath caught. He had alluded to loving her before, but always in the past tense. This time though he had said it in the present tense. He waited a second before continuing. He wasn't hurt that she couldn't say it, yet. He would work on that. "It's alright, Shepard. I don't expect an answer. Just know that I do."
She swallowed. "I have to go." She said quickly. He smiled at her shyness for all the times words never seemed to fail her. Then he saw the red stain creep into her cheeks.
"Shepard, are you blushing?" He asked sweetly. Shepard met his eyes boldly, and there was definitely a rosier coloration to her countenance than there had been.
"Maybe, maybe not."