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Trelane's venting

By Ivy Bell

Humor / Scifi

Trelane's venting

. . . 2260 . . .

. . . USS Enterprise . . .

Kirk was in his cabin having a drink when a strange feeling went through him. He lowered the cup looking around. It was a strange feeling that he couldn't shake off. The monitor to his computer beeped taking his attention off his surroundings. On the screen read 'Simon says sing' which unusually and very oddly, is what exactly Kirk did. He covered his mouth halfway into the song. What the hell was going on?, Kirk wondered. He uncovered his mouth and musical notes tied to patriotic lyrics floated out of his lips. He covered his mouth again. One week into their five year mission and something strange has happened!

On the spot.


Record breaker.

Covering his mouth, Kirk walked out of his cabin then made his way to sick bay.

'Bones, I can't stop singing' Kirk thought of one way to put it.

But that would require talking!

He was unable to control his own voice.

"Captain, I have some troubling news." Spock said, stopping Kirk in his tracks.

'Yes, Spock?' was what Kirk could have said.

Spock raised a brow.

"Is there something the matter?" Spock asked.

Kirk uncovered his mouth.

"And the patrons sung with such fluidity,they danced on the tables, while everyone else around smiled and clapped at their performance-" Kirk covered his mouth.

The Vulcan lowered his eyebrow.

"Is there another Senior officer musical I am unaware of?" Spock asked.

Kirk shook his free hand.

"Then why are you singing?" Spock asked.

Kirk shrugged.

"Well, there has to be a logical reason for it." Spock said.

Kirk sighed.

"Where did it start?" Spock said.

Kirk pointed in the direction of his cabin.

"Oh, so you took a pill to make a musical?" Spock asked.

Kirk frowned then shook his head.

"Perhaps there is another force at work." Spock said.

Kirk continued in the direction that was he going in the first place.

. . . Sick Bay . . .

. . . 25 minutes later . . .

"Jim, what brings you here?" McCoy asked.

Kirk uncovered his mouth.

"The birds were flying, the sky was burning, there was a gigantic teddy bear flying in the sky-" Kirk covered his mouth.

"Jim, that is improvement on your singing!" McCoy said.

Kirk sighed uncovering his mouth.

"Little girl,little girl, little girl can't stop singing," Kirk sang. "Captain Kirk can't stop singing until Simon says . . ." then he went mute.

"Uh, Jim?" McCoy said.

Kirk tried to speak but only squeaks would come out.

"Ello!" Came a younger man's voice.

McCoy looked over his shoulder to see all the nurses were missing. The nurses had been listening to the singing coming from their captain and were getting swayed by the brief bits. The looks on their faces were priceless. Now in there place stood a man leaning against a biobed in what seemed to be 18th century clothing. He had dark hair. Pitch black hair in fact. He waved his hand a little at the two.

"My name is Trelane," Trelane said. "And I need some . . . advice. . ."

"Give Kirk his voice back!" McCoy demanded.

"So you want to be mute?" Trelane asked.

"No, but I would like my friend to have his damn voice back." McCoy said.

Trelane smiled.

"One word, doctor, and consider it done." Trelane said.

"Now." McCoy said.

"Not that, not ever that word." Trelane said,

"Then what do you have in mind?" McCoy asked.

"Politely." Trelane said.

McCoy frowned.

"Polite, is that the word?" McCoy asked, folding his arms.

Trelane rubbed his forehead.

"Oh dear Q continuum," Trelane said, then he lowered his hand. "I am a Q from the Q continuum. I can do anything. But if you want his voice back instead of being turned into a little fawn then say one word to me in the nicest way possible." He rubbed his fingers together. "And then I can start talking to your captain with two eyewitnesses."

"Hm." McCoy said.

"Just say it. People aren't that nice to me as usual." Trelane said, in a almost complaining type of voice.

"Please." McCoy said.

"Done," Trelane said. "And if you act mean to me I am not afraid to put you into the penalty box!"

Then Kirk and McCoy materialized in the briefing room. In the seat beside Kirk appeared a puzzled Spock. All of the nurses who were taken away from Sick Bay were returned. The table was see through showing the entire universe below. Kirk stared at the screen with his jaw dropped. The only words that came out of Spock's mouth were, "Why am I in the briefing room?". McCoy could see that Trelane was in front of the table appearing to be . . . what was the word? . . . Troubled. He wasn't confident and calm as before.

Kirk looked up.

"Why did you make me sing?" Kirk asked.

"I have a reputation to uphold," Trelane said. "And coming in like my father would be too easy."

Spock raised a brow.

"And your fathers name is Q?" Spock asked.

"Absolutely!" Trelane said.

"Spock, how did you know that?" Kirk asked, curiously.

"Some species are known to name themselves after their species and prefer to be known by that," Spock said. "I knew . . . Some Vulcans who used 'Vulcan' as their given name."

"Now to the order of business. . ." Trelane said. "I need your advice."

"Someone from a Continuum needs our advice?" McCoy said, leaning back folding his arms. "How peachy."

Trelane cleared his throat.

"I don't know what to do about my father," Trelane said. There was mainly confusion in the room. "He . . is . . . degrading. He is losing everything that made him so . . . Known. He knows nothing of who I am!"

"I take it your father has a form of alzheimer's." Spock said.

"No, he doesn't have that." Trelane said.

"But you just said he is degrading." McCoy said.

"He is but he isn't supposed to be." Trelane said.

"Supposed to be as in . . he isn't?" Kirk asked.

"Yes," Trelane said, then he started pacing back and forth. "I . . . I came to him hours ago. Expecting him to be the usual snappy and furious former Q who still disowns me because of the stunt I pulled on some other different version of the Enterprise." He stopped right at the middle. "Then father claims he doesn't know me. Not a bit. I find out he has some alien infection that started from his brain and has been taking over his body ever since by starting with the memories! He has a year to live at this rate!"

"That is a cruel way to go." McCoy said.

"Agreed." Trelane said, turning toward the three. "I want to find every possible way of making sure he doesn't die before I approach the continuum about changing watchers."

"Where is your father?" McCoy asked.

"In 2296. He was exiled a hundred some years in the past from the era that he loves more than his family," Trelane seemed to be touchy. "Seriously. I pointed it out that he had a thing for his favorite dear Captain Picard! And even insulted Picard to show him!"

Kirk had turned pale at the mention of Captain Picard.

"Why don't you send him into the future when there is a cure for his illness?" McCoy asked.

"Because that would be too easy," Trelane said. "I can't do it."

"Indirectly, you can do it," Kirk said. "So that makes you the perpetrator."

"The Captain is right," Spock said. "You can help him."

"But I can't under the terms of supervising him!" Trelane said. "I am supposed to make sure he learns from his mistakes."

"So this is a learning experience for your father." Spock said.

"Yes," Trelane said, nodding. "And he has grown to be an old human . . . Almost too old to learn new tricks."

"Nobody is too old to learn something new." McCoy said.

Trelane looked at Kirk in concern.

"Why are you so pale, Captain Kirk?" Trelane asked.

Spock turned his head toward Kirk.

"Captain?" Spock asked.

"We met his father, Spock." Kirk said.

"I do not recall meeting a entity named Q." Spock said.

"It was last week, Spock," Kirk said. "Don't you remember?"

"I do not recall." Spock said.

"Bones?" Kirk asked.

"I do!" McCoy said, remembering. "He brought a older man with him. . . Well actually two men. One was . . ."

"A older me," Kirk said. "And a guy who was talking about Captain Picard. They were agreeing about something."

Trelane raised his head up.

"All right then," Trelane said. "If I can't help him then I will have some-one else be in charge of him." He looked at the three with a small thankful smile. "Thank you for listening. I really needed to vent . . and still got enough of it inside for the Judges!"

The three senior officers appeared in the observation lounge in a white flash seeing a unique sight of two universes battling it out merging together.

"I do not remember meeting this older man." Spock said.

"He was a Vulcan," McCoy said. "Perhaps he made you forget."

"Uh,Bones," Kirk said. "What happened to the older me?"

McCoy's eyes widened then he looked up sliding his hand down from his forehead.

"Damn it, old Spock, did they both see it?" McCoy wondered out loud.

"Doctor?" Spock asked.

"What did we see?" Kirk asked.

"You wouldn't want to know," McCoy said. "I am heading back to Sick Bay and I do not expect any of you to ask around what happened. They went to great lengths to help you two!"

McCoy left the confused duo.

"Is he implying we saw our two older selves sleeping together?" Spock asked.

"I hope not." Kirk said, then he went in the opposite direction.

In the darkness we can see Travid as a weeping angel staring at Spock's direction. However, in a white flash Travid was misplaced somewhere in time and space not even remotely close to this version of the Enterprise. Travid has been placed on a rocky planet to slowly decay, lose both wings, become facial feature-less, and lose all his power.

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