To catch a Q
...USS Enterprise...A Monday..
"What is the matter now, Jean-Luc?" I asked, sitting in the seat where the emphatic would usually sit beside Jean-Luc. I had my elbow leaned against the arm rest with one side of my face cupped and my legs were one over another.
The Enterprise shook.
"You tell me what you've done to my ship!" Jean-Luc demanded.
I blinked at first finding it rather amusing that A) the technobabbly humans have decided I would want to make the Enterprise have a problem without a good reason at all. B) I just came, in the flesh, for a question I cannot answer. And C) I am in my good white tuxedo!
"I have done nothing, Jean-Luc," I said. I looked over toward the screen. "...Oh Picard," I turned my head toward the bald headed human. "You are not suppose to be here! What brings you here in this corner of the universe? And what makes you think I had any part in this?"
"Because you came and said so," Riker said.
I snapped my fingers freezing the Enterprise in time except for the bridge.
"How outrageous," I said. "Don't you see I am in a tuxedo?"
The two humans looked at me.
"I wouldn't ask why," Riker said.
"I was busy enjoying my free time without Junior!" I went on. "Teaching a human named Austin Powers how to get his brother to dressing more casually than the gray suit." Riker had a shocked look and Jean-Luc, oh Jean-Luc, had a dead serious look on his face. "Now..." I snapped my fingers appearing right in the middle of the room across from the three. "I will send you back where you should be!"
I snapped my fingers, but this time, the Enterprise flew sideways.
Without much gravity effecting me I was merely standing there while the humans and other species held on to anything. What could I do to punish them for bothering me on my vacation from bothering them in the first place? Oh yes, I could turn them all into talking cats. Oh, I so could do that. Suddenly I felt a hot pressuring force from behind. I landed on the floor feeling pain in the middle of my back. Time resumed followed by a crack of electricity from one of the stations behind Jean-Luc.
I looked over seeing a bright source of light occupied by the shapes of three figures.
The three major judges in the Q continuum have arrived.
My eyes grew wide.
"Q," Came the first judge. "We've been expecting you. You can't run anymore."
"Q, who are these beings?" Jean-Luc asked.
"The judges," I said. "I haven't been running. You never told me to attend a nonexistent trial!"
"You've been found guilty for interfering in the evolution of humanity, bringing them the Cybermen and the Borgs when they were not suppose to met, and for turning the wrong human into a Q," The first judge said. "You are exiled to a different timeline that requires no Prime Directive."
"Uh, you are forgetting the Enterprise," I said.
"These humans will find their way," The second judge said. I grew a 'no, this ship can't take that beating from the power of this corner of the universe!' kind of facial reaction. It was the 'horrified' kind of one. "Without your intervention,Q. Sorry for the intrusion, Picard of Earth."
"THEY'RE NOT READY FOR THIS!" I shouted.
"Enough," The first judge said. "This trial has been completed. You will be under the supervision of a selected Q and be turned into a creature of your choice."
In a white light, I saw the world that I had really been fond of disappear as did the darkness.
But the pain did not leave.