What does home feel like?
John-Luc appeared back in the building he vanished in. The machine itself had been destroyed from being used the one time. John-Luc walked right outside of the building flipping out his communicator. he came to the entrance of the building that seemed so storage facility like.
"Pocirld to Enterprise," John-Luc said. "One to beam up."
John-Luc was staring at the machine contemplating how to start his personal log. All he had told Captain Kirk that he had searched high and low for any life forms. Fortunately there was energy readings that indicated he did what he said for at least a hour. His fingers tapped on the table in deep thought.
Being aboard The Enterprise NCC-1701-D brought back memories. It was almost like home. Almost like I had stepped through a walking glass portal right in except it was very different and nothing I had known of. I met a man, a man Quarty had referred to in one of our corresponding messages earlier this year. He described the man to the tea.
John-Luc leaned back in the chair feeling his bald head.
I was half tempted to stay standing in the bridge. I thought, 'I could adjust to this.' at first. But the memories and the knowledge about all these people from personal experience, the mission of the Enterprise, and the crew knew their Captain too well. It was almost...Too homely. I realized that my home is in the past not the future. I didn't belong there.
John-Luc leaned forward with hands together.
I decided then that whatever I was thinking was a mistake. Why did I agree with the plan in the first place? Because I could save lives. The only lives I saved during my tenure as a Warship Captain was only personnel. Not civilians. This was really a big step for me as a Federation Officer. The Federation that I knew of did not allow civilians aboard Star Ships. The future Federation Quarty spoke of does allow for it. I feel breath taken (and honored) to be part of Star Fleet history and even have a foot note! I wonder how Jean-Luc would react to seeing his own face on a document years before he was born.
John-Luc had a low laugh.
It is a little funny thinking of a man running around looking like me but he is not me in the future. A man with a silly name, that I'll probably be remembered for. I do hope that Shuttey and Karter have future careers that land them in Star Fleet's face. They are fine officers, by my opinion. I miss Quarty. I refuse to believe any record saying in this past he has died. It is a gut feeling..Sometimes I feel like I am on the run when I am not. Sometimes I feel like I am in the middle of a war zone. But I am not. Sometimes I feel panic; but I am in no such position to be panicked. It is not logical.
John-Luc cupped the side of his face.
What does home feel like?
John-Luc straightened himself up in the chair.
Home feels like you belong somewhere. You feel at peace, comfortable, and happy. All at the same time about the choice made to stay. Home is not where your existence begins and ends. It is somewhere you feel is your place and time. I am beginning to think I didn't even belong in my time; at all. That I was supposed to be sent back into the past with the one man not many Captains would trust: the man responsible for the Enterprise's disappearance in the past.
But here I am.
I really did not picture to turn up this way.
Long had I thought my War Ship would have been destroyed by a fleet of Klingon vessels and I would go with it. I was prepared to go down with the ship against the Klingons...Now...I just don't find the heart to go down easily. Maybe it is because of the fighting spirit Kirk has and his crew. Quarty was the man I least expected. What did he do? He did things that Beverly wouldn't have done and dragged my ass out of a mess I had one time with a panther. Beverly would have simply injured the beast, left it, and came to my aid. All that time I thought it was the planet rubbing off her but in fact it was not.
It was all Q.
It became logical to me. Yet...When I was around him in the flesh I discovered a attraction about him. It was like I had known him for years-in fact, we did-. It was the same attraction that grew in the 2 years that passed on Scottyia between I and Holoprogram Beverly. He was a mystery to me at first and now he's just a very well known friend. I have gone to know him better than I have within the corresponding messages this year. I got to learn Q as a person rather than a entity. You can say I embrace the part of his former existence because who wouldn't?
The clever man with a complex personality and flaws.
I don't see scars on his face; I only see a man with all his limbs and his face lacking any scars.
In fact: I do not see anything wrong with him.
He is Q and for that, I accept Quarty for who he is now rather who he had been before.
John-Luc rubbed his hands.
Q decided to save my life by making a logical choice. To create a female using the tools he had at the time. For that I am grateful. For that I can find it in my heart to forgive him for what he had done. What had he done? Not telling me the truth. Holding grudges brings bad emotions and Vulcans hold no such thing against others. I put it behind me. When I see Quarty again, this time we're going to have a real kiss and he won't be getting out of my hug that easily.
John-Luc had a small laugh.
T'fara, and her children, will come to accept Q.
It won't be easy for them to accept at first but I know they will.
They always do.
John-Luc stood up.
"End log," John-Luc concluded.