Hanky Panky Hullabaloo
The school bus drives up to school. Inside the school building, we see a chalkboard with drawings of Ed, Edd, Bella, and Eddy with their names above them. Next to them says the word 'in' then pans to the next chalkboard which reads 'Hanky Panky Hullaballo' inside a red heart. Then we pan to the hallway, where a heart decoration says 'Written By KittyKatBella.' Then pans to the announcement board, which has one paper saying, 'Based Off Of Danny Antonucci's Ed, Edd n Eddy.' Another says, 'Note: Bella and Eddy aren't dating yet.' Lastly, the screen pans to the office door, which says 'Please Enjoy! -KittyKatBella'
The Kankers are sitting outside the office and Lee is shooting spitballs at the door. Sitting next to her, Marie is filing her nails, Brandon was chewing gum, and on the floor, May was coloring, crayons and paper strewn over the floor. Marie notices May and elbows Lee in the face.
"Hey Lee, Brandon, check out Miss Vincent Van Stinko," Marie said.
"What's this?" Lee asked, snatching the card from May, "Aw, it's a Valentine card." Marie and Brandon peered over their older sister's shoulder to see.
"It's for my boyfriend!" May snapped, pouncing on Lee. Lee dropped the card and Marie picked it up.
"It's for big Ed, guys," Marie said, showing them.
"Give it back!" May cried, jumping on Marie's head and grabbing the card, "Ed's the bestest boyfriend ever!" She crossed her arms and walked off angrily to deliver her card.
"Now I know who got mom's genes," Marie said to Lee, standing up. Lee closed her locker.
"Hormones," Lee chuckled.
May turned the corner to look for Ed, not knowing she was being followed by two little Cupids.
"When nature stirs on Valentine's day, and greets the children with her splendor-" Cupid Jimmy began.
"Suddenly their minds will stray to thoughts of love and words so tender," Cupid Sarah finished. The two giggled and flew off, just as Eddy came bolting down the hall and turned the corner.
"Let's learn!" He cried strangely, "First one to class is a-" He stopped and realized what he was saying, "What am I saying?" Bored, he continued walking.
"I have no clue," Bella said as she, Ed, and Edd followed.
"Isn't Valentine's Day wonderful?" Edd asked.
"It's my favorite holiday!" Bella giggled, spinning around happily, "Pink and red! Pink and red and love everywhere!" Ed ran past where his friends had turned the corner and ran back.
"As I'm sure you're aware, it can be quite unnerving to express one's come hither feelings of amore," Edd continued, "Yet this holiday conquers the upchuck of apprehension and allows one that opportunity to let that special someone know you care."
He glanced at his twirling step-sister, who suddenly stopped and glanced at Eddy.
"Uh, yeah…" She said quietly.
Ed grabbed Edd, panicked.
"Yucky, squishy, MUCKY GIRLS, DOUBLE D!" Ed cried fearfully. He whispered in Edd's ear, "The fish have chips, my fine friend."
"'The fish have chips'?" Bella asked, "What does that even mean?"
Ed ignored her as he dropped Edd and ran to his locker. He opened it and a TON of junk fell out. Eddy laughed loudly.
"Your locker stinks like-" Eddy was cut off when Ed finished for him.
"An onion," Ed said, taking a big bite, "Girls do not like stinky breath." His friends looked disgusted, "Camouflage," Ed put on a paper bag with a face, "So girls cannot see you. And-" Ed pulled out a box, "A spider. Girls hate them. Sarah said so."
"GAH!" Bella jumped and backed away, "I don't know about all girls, but I can't tell the velenose ones from the non-velenose, and better safe than sorry."
The spider climbed up Ed's arm and he noticed. His eyes widened in fear and he jumped.
"SPIDER!" Ed cried, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Eddy laughed as Ed ran to the nearest water fountain and splashed the spider with water.
"Oh for goodness sake," Edd said, coaxing the spider onto his hand, "You're frightening the poor thing." He carried it to the open window and let it go, "All better."
"Ah, you babies got it light," Eddy said, "Yup, Valentine's Day is just the same old grind for this chick magnet."
Belle giggled. Eddy opened his locker and out popped a 'Kiss The Hunk' stand with a disco ball and music. Edd looked down at Bella, who had little hearts in her eyes, but Edd was the only one to noticed.
"25 cents a smooch, ladies!" Eddy yelled, "Line forms to my left!"
Bella was searching her pockets for a quarter, but couldn't find anything. Eddy rang the bell and waited. When no one appeared, Edd looked around and Eddy stops smiling.
"They must be freshening up in the can," Eddy said. The music and disco ball stopped.
"'In the can'," Edd said sarcastically, "Right-o." He pulled some cards out of his bag, "While we're waiting, I've got a little something here for you." He handed a card to both Ed and Bella, "Happy Valentine's Day, Ed and Bella."
"Nap time already?" Ed asked, putting his face right in the card.
"Aw, grazie, Doppio D," Bella smiled.
"Eddy," Edd said, handing Eddy a card.
"'You Electrify Me'?" Eddy read aloud, "Who the heck's this guy?"
"Nicola Tesla," Edd said, "It's part of my 'Great Minds of Science' Valentine's cards series."
"It has a mind, Eddy!" Ed said.
"Oh, and while we're on San Valentino gifts," Bella pulled a container out of her bag, "Me and my papa make frosted sugar cookies!"
"Yummy!" Ed said, taking one.
"Ain't you supposed to give these things to girls?" Eddy asked, talk about the card. Just then, the the bell on the counter rang, "A customer."
They all turned to see May Kanker and screamed.
"Happy Valentine's, Ed!" May said.
Ed pulled down his mask, which now had an eyeball and a mouth with a tongue sticking out, but Eddy grabbed it and put it on and Ed grabbed it back. Eddy hid under the counter.
"You're the handsomest sweetest biggest hunk of man in the land!" May said, leaning against Ed. She held out the card, "Will you be mine?"
"Aw…" Bella said quietly, smiling, "That's so swe-" Before she could finish, Ed panicked.
"AHH!" He yelled, running away, "YUCKY MUSHY GIRLS! WOE! HURT !PAIN! RUN! PAIN!"
When he ran back the other way, he ran right over May and trampled her. Eddy started laughing when the bell rang yet again.
"A customer!" Without looking he goes to kiss but opens his eyes to see Kevin, "In your dreams, pal!" Kevin slammed his fist on the counter.
"Get this hunk of junk out of the hallway and get to class!" Kevin ordered.
"Don't let your brains go to your head, Mr. Hall Monitor," Eddy snapped.
"Oh," Kevin said, picking up a pencil and clipboard, "You just got yourself a detention, pal." He tore off a piece of paper and handed it to Eddy. Grumbling, Eddy pushed the booth back in his locker.
"Oh hey Kevin, before you go," Bella said, "I made cookies for everyone!"
"Sweet, thanks," Kevin said, taking one.
"Come now, Kevin," Edd said, "Why taint the emotional sincerity of Valentine's Day with a detention slip?"
Kevin slapped a piece of paper in Edd's hand.
"That's for stickin' up for Dorky!" Kevin said, finishing the cookie and walking off.
"But I've never had a detention!" Edd cried. Eddy walked by and Kevin kicked him.
"Move it, slouch!" Kevin ordered. Eddy ran off and Kevin followed, laughing. Bella quickly followed, so Edd was the only one left in the hallway. He heard sobbing coming from the janitor's closet. He opened the door.
"May?" He said.
"Big Ed hates me!" May sobbed loudly. Just then, the bell rang and Edd looked worried.
"I'm sure it's nothing like that," Edd tried to comfort her, "Ed's just being shy." He looked at the clock, "Don't you think we should be getting to class?"
"I got no Valentine for Valentine's Day!" May cried. Edd quickly took out a pen and wrote something on a card before handing it to May.
"I-I really must get to class," He said, "Happy Valentine's Day, May."
May looked at the card, which had Nazz's name crossed out and replaced with May's.
"'Naturally I Select You'?" May read, standing up and watching Edd round the corner, repeating, "Late late late late late."
"Double D?" May said before a heart arrow hit her in the butt. She jumped and twirled her whole body around, hearts in her eyes as she sighed happily and floated after Edd. The two Cupids were seen again.
"And so the spring of love is seeded deep within the Kanker girl," Cupid Sarah said.
"Still another half is needed for this blossom to unfurl," Cupid Jimmy said. Giggling, they flew off right past Rolf, who was drinking from a water fountain. He stood back up, suddenly aware.
"Rolf smells the inky scent of mountain sprites come to make mischief among us," Rolf said to himself.
In science, Lee and Marie were looking at anatomy textbook and giggling while Brandon sat next to them, bored.
"Hubba hubba!" Lee laughed.
"Ooh la la!" Marie giggled. Lee turned the page. At another table, Edd was working and Bella sat next to him, slightly frightened by the chemicals. Ed walked by with the class skeleton draped over him.
"Boy am I parched!" Ed said. Eddy was following him.
"Man, are you gonna get in trouble!" Eddy laughed.
"Some of us are here to learn, thank you," Edd said, referring to him and Bella, but she was no longer paying attention as she looked at Eddy, hearts in her eyes. May floated up beside Edd, her pupils pink and little hearts bubbling around her head.
"Hiya, Double D!" She said happily. Edd looked up from his textbook and smiled at May.
"Ah, feeling better May?" Edd asked. Edd noticed that May was floating above the ground, "Well, nice talking to you, oh would you look at this, work work work. This assignment is worth 40 percent of our term."
May, however, couldn't care less as she whispered in Edd's ear.
"Can I be your partner?" May asked. Edd started to sweat nervously. Suddenly, a HUGE explosion came from Ed and Eddy's table, knocking Edd over.
"Pink belly!" Ed said. His and Eddy's shirts were blown half off and they were both covered in ash.
"Oh, way to go, numbskull!" Eddy said sarcastically, "You ruined my shirt!"
"Stupid!" May yelled, causing Ed and Eddy to look at her, "Don't you know never to mix beric oxide with an aqueous suspention?!"
Bella and the Eds stared at her in shock.
"May, I've never seen that side of you," Edd said.
"I've developed a mean bathroom deodorizer, too," May said. Edd backed away.
"Well, perhaps that's a conversation best had in a very busy public area, yes?" Edd said as a heart arrow hit him in the butt. He did the same thing May had done earlier and stared dreamily at May.
"Now that Double D's been smitten by the course of Cupid's will," Cupid Jimmy said, picking Edd up by the back of his shirt.
"Ever shall a note be written, the plot gets thicker still!" Cupid Sarah finished, picking up May and a pencil and paper. Giggling, they carried the two kids in opposite directions.
Cupid Sarah carried May past a hall of lockers where Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf were. Rolf's hair stood on end.
"Again?!" He yelled as Kevin pulled on a sweater, "These mountain imps taunt Rolf no more!"
"You're whack, dude," Kevin said, laughing.
Cupid Jimmy carried Edd to his locker, where May had left him a note. He read it aloud to himself.
"To my sweet lambchop, won't you be my Valentine? Love, May," He read. Ed, Eddy, and Bella, who were each at their own lockers, looked over at Edd. Eddy laughed loudly, grabbing Ed's face.
"May's so stupid!" Eddy said, "She put your Valentine in Double D's locker!" Eddy grabbed the card and showed Ed.
"YUCK! MUSHY!" Ed cried, acting like an ostrich and burying his head in the floor, popping out in the boiler room below them. Eddy took two books and acted like May, using the books as her teeth.
"Oh Ed, it's me, May Kanker," Eddy mocked, "Won't you be my Valentine?"
"That's not funny, Eddy," Ed said, unamused.
"Ah, what are you scared of?" Eddy asked, standing on Ed and spitting the books out, "Girls don't bite, stupid." Eddy shot the balled-up card into the trash, "They'll just slowly nag you to death." Bella laughed.
"It's actually pretty true," She said, "But I don't do it too much. I just need a peanut butter sandwich and one of my stuffed animals and I'm happy."
The bell rang and Ed pulled his head out of the ground and ran off to class. Eddy and Bella followed, but Edd was digging in the trash can, looking for the card. His friends noticed and walked back.
"Look at him!" Eddy said, "Not only is he the teacher's pet, now he's kissing up to the janitor! Hey! We're gonna be late for class, Double D!" After a minute, he smacked Ed's head and pointed at Edd, "Ed, fetch!" Ed did so and grabbed Edd, but not before Edd could find the card. They ran to gym, where Edd's upper body got stuck in the doors. He sighed happily.
"Turtledove, to whence we meet again," He said, putting the card under his hat just as he slipped through the doors. Kevin was looking at a clipboard as Rolf walked around, looking for the Cupids.
"Gym assistant, sir!" Jonny said to Kevin, who looked down at him, "Watch me!" He started doing push ups and turned to Plank beside him, "Look sharp, Plank! He's marking us."
"What, you again?" Eddy asked, walking over.
"The things I do for extra credit," Kevin said, looking at the clipboard. Brandon walked over.
"Here! Present! Chip! On head! Yo! Ready when you are!" Ed said, running over and dropping Edd, who just floated to the ground, "Can I be excused?"
"No," Kevin said, "Today you're gonna be climbing rope."
"Right on!" Jonny said, standing up and quickly climbing the rope. He rang the bell at the top just as the girls came out to the other side of the gym.
"Alright, girls, let's sweat!" Nazz encouraged, being followed by the Kanker sisters and Bella, "Today's class is gonna be, like, so much fun!"
"Sounds like a dare, huh, May?" Lee asked. Hearing, Edd turned around and stared, lovestruck, at May, who floated over and leaned against the netting pole. Lee and Marie were 'sword' fighting with the rackets.
"Ok, that's not cool!" Nazz said. Bella looked over at Eddy and sighed. May held up her racket and chewed it into the shape of a heart, showing Edd. He started blowing her kisses, causing Eddy to stare at him.
"Hey, no-neck!" Kevin said to Eddy. Eddy turned around angrily as Kevin threw the rope in his face, "Your go." Eddy growled.
"I ain't climbin' no stupid rope!" Eddy said, throwing the rope back.
"Oh, you're climbin' it, or I'm telling the teacher," Kevin threatened, throwing the rope back again. This time, Eddy began to climb, grumbling angrily. He started climbing and reached the top, but when he went to ring the bell, he fell down, still holding onto the rope.
"My turn!" Ed said.
"ROPE BURN!" Eddy cried, looking at his hands. Bella winced from the other side of the gym.
"Double Dweeb!" Kevin yelled at the still-lovestruck Edd. Ed pulled on Edd's hat.
"Wakey-wakey!" Ed said loudly.
"You're up," Kevin said. Edd skipped over, did a circle around a confused Kevin, and pulled out a machine. Attaching it to both the rope and his waist, Edd 'climbed' up the rope, ringing the bell once.
"Cheater," Brandon grumbled. May, who was now on top of the net, sighed dreamily.
"I want to wear his beanie," She said. Her sisters looked at her. Lee's racket was busted.
"What the heck's she talkin' about?" Lee asked.
"Look at her face," Marie said, "She's probably constipated again." Nazz blew her whistle, startling Lee, Marie, and Bella.
"A little less talk and a little more badminton please," Nazz said, tossing them a badminton birdie, which Marie hit back hard, hitting Nazz in the face. Lee and Marie started laughing.
"So who's next?" Kevin asked the boys.
"It's Plank's turn!" Jonny said, pointing at his friend in his hand.
"Zip it, cactus-head!" Kevin ordered.
"Look at me!" Ed said from the basketball hoop. He was holding the rope, "I'm as helpless as a kitten in a tree!" Pulling down his mask again, which now showed a guy picking his nose, he swung down, "Meow."
"Go lumpy go!" Eddy cheered as Ed smacked into the other basketball hoop, making his mask fall off, "He shoots-" Eddy set Edd in front of where Ed was about to swing. Ed picked up Edd and dropped him in the first hoop, "He scores!" Edd fell through the hoop, landing on his head on the hard floor.
"Lambchop!" May cried, concerned. Ed landed on Kevin, who handed him a slip of paper.
"You just got yourself a detention," Kevin said. Ed smiled stupidly. The bell rung and the kids went into the changing rooms to change back into their normal clothes. Ed ran into the boy's room, followed by Eddy and then Jonny.
"How do I know what they're laughing about, Plank?" Jonny asked. Out in the gym, the only ones left were Kevin, Nazz, May and Edd. May was holding Edd.
"Speak to me, lambchop!" May said, "Are you hurt?" Edd opened his eyes and smiled.
"Your gaze alone could heal any wound," He said.
"You're so adorable!" May said, "I could just eat you up!"
"Bon appetit, turtledove," Edd said, "For I am basted and ready to serve."
"Dude, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Nazz said to Kevin. They were on the other side of the gym. Kevin looked to see May carrying Edd.
"Man, that's sick," He said. Lee was outside the girl's changing room and saw the whole thing. The Cupids flew up.
"Now the dance of love had started, and the secret is about to unfurl," Cupid Jimmy said.
"Never shall the pair be parted by another boy or girl," Cupid Sarah said. The two flew off, gigging again.
"Yo Marie!" Lee called her sister, "Looks like that man of yours is flirting with your sister." Lee pointed at Edd and May, who were cuddling on the mat. Bella popped her head out and stared in shock.
The kids were in art class, and Marie was painting a picture if her shoving May off a cliff, who was yelling 'NOOOOOOO!' At a table, Lee was decorating a license plate with macaroni while May and Bella were both making cards, but about different boys, of course. Lee looked at May's card, which had 'Edd+May' all over it. Lee then glanced at Bella's card across the table, which had different ways to say 'Eddy+Bella' all over it, and even one heart that had 'My Little Devil' written in it.
"That's not surprising," Lee said quietly to herself.
Meanwhile, at the table across the room, Edd was staring at May while Ed carved out a wooden dollar for Eddy.
"Come on, Ed, come on," Eddy said, "Before the teachers see ya!" Ed threw away the screwdriver he was using to carve.
"All done, Eddy!" Ed said quietly, holding up the 'dollar' which had Eddy's face on it, "You owe me a buck."
"No problem, da Vinci!" Eddy said, grabbing the dollar, "Give me a second, I'll go print you one!" He ran off to the printing press behind the chalkboard, "Come on, stupid!" Ed pulled out two cardboard cutouts of him and Eddy before running over, laughing.
"We'll print up a hundred bucks even before class is done!" Eddy said, trying to figure out where to put the dollar.
"Here's the ink, Eddy!" Ed yelled loudly, pouring a TON of ink on top.
"How's this thing work?" Eddy asked. He looked over at Edd, "Psst! Double D!" Edd sighed happily, not hearing Eddy.
"Heads up, Eddy!" Ed said as a glob of ink hit Eddy in the face.
"Ed!" Eddy yelled angrily, diving back behind the chalkboard. Jonny tapped Edd on the head three times. He had something purple on his head and was holding a card.
"I'm a little squirrel, and this nut's for you," Jonny said, handing Edd the card. Inside was a candy heart saying 'Be Mine' and under the heart it said 'I Luv U!' written by May.
"A sweet, from my sweet," Edd said, taking the candy, "'Be mine.'"
Jonny scurried back over to May with another card in his mouth and set it on the table. When she read it, her eyes bulged. She sent Jonny back over and this process was repeated several times before Marie snapped her paint brush in half and pounced on Jonny, pinning him down.
"Let me see that!" She ordered. Jonny took the card out of his mouth.
"No, I can't!" He said, "It's against squirrel policy!"
"Yeah Maire, you have to respect the squirrel," Brandon joked.
"Gimmie it!" Marie snapped, grabbing for the card.
"Nuts to you!" Jonny said, eating the card.
"You're such a weirdo!" Marie said.
"Being weird is a good thing!" Bella said from her table.
"Ed, what are you doing?!" Eddy yelled from behind the chalkboard as ink spilled everywhere, making the others look over. Behind the chalkboard, Eddy was covered in ink, while Ed was going through the press.
"Splish splash, I'm taking a bath, Eddy!" Ed said happily.
"Double D, do something!" Eddy begged, leaning over the top of the board, "Stop this crazy thing!" Suddenly, ink burst through the chalkboard, covering the whole room and everyone in it in ink with a giant ink wave. Edd rode the wave of his stomach towards May with his hands out stretched.
"Lambchop," May said, also holding her hands out.
"Turtledove," Edd said as their hands met. They stayed on top of the wave as everyone else was covered in ink.
"Lambchop?" Eddy said, confused.
"Turtledove?" Lee said after she, Marie, Brandon, and Bella and surfaced. Edd and May were the only clean ones, with only their pants being covered in ink.
"I've got some stain remover we can share," Edd said as he and May exited the room, holding hands, "Care to partake?"
"You cad!" May giggled. Ed and Eddy looked at Lee and Marie. Eddy looked thoughtful for a second.
"You have three seconds to explain why I'm covered in ink!" Brandon yelled angrily.
After class, Ed, Eddy, and Bella were now clean, but Eddy did have a black eye from Brandon. Eddy had a stethoscope and was trying to open Edd's locker. After doing so, he opened it.
"Bingo!" Eddy said.
"Are you sure we should be doing this, Eddy?" Bella asked.
"How else are we gonna find out what's going on?" Eddy said, looking through Edd's books and throwing each one at Ed's face, "Opposite Attraction In You? Relishing The Repugnant?"
"Yum, relish!" Ed said.
"Diametric Doting Done Easy?" Eddy continued, "I don't get it!" Ed looked on his head and saw something.
"Look Eddy, a prize," Ed said, pointing. Eddy took the thing and looked at it.
"It's May's barrette!" Eddy realized, "Double D's been poisoned with Kanker love, lumpy!"
"Yucky evil mushy, Eddy!" Ed said, pulling on his mask, which is now a guy fishing on a boat.
"And I got a test after lunch," Eddy said, "How am I supposed to steal his answers if he's all May happy?" Eddy slammed Edd's locker shut.
Lee forced May's locker open.
"Get over it, Marie," Lee said, "That Double D was always a wolf in sheep's clothing."
"Yeah, he was too nerdy for you," Brandon said, "You could do better." Marie ignored her brother and sister as they searched through May's locker.
"I could tell there was something going on," Marie said, "He's probably with her right now!" She saw something and pulled it out, "What's this?" She opened the heart shaped box and Lee pulled out a sock. Marie dropped the box.
"That's Double D's sock!" Marie cried, "That creep!"
"Flirtin's one thing, but handing out your unmentionables is going too far!" Lee said. She, Marie, and Brandon stormed off.
In the lunchroom, Jonny was looking at the food.
"Look Plank, jelly hearts for Valentine's Day," Jonny said, poking the food, "Holy cow, relax buddy. Of course I washed my hands." Jonny sat down with Plank, "Where do you think they've been?" At another table, Rolf sat across from Nazz and Kevin.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Rolf," Nazz said as Rolf dropped his lunch on the table.
"Poppycock!" Rolf said. Something in his sandwich started moving, so he smacked it with a hammer.
"Uh, so hey, Nazz," Kevin said, "I, uh, like…" Kevin handed her a card, "Y'know, happy Valentine's Day?" Nazz smiled and took the card.
"Awesome, thanks Kev," Nazz grinned. She handed him a card, "I got you a card, too."
"Sweet," Kevin said.
"ARE YOU ALSO LOST TO THESE GRETCHENS OF AFFECTION?!" Rolf shouted angrily. He lowered his voice, "Ed-boy and the Kanker girl have been smitten! Beware, lest you be next. Take these-" He held out two lemons and gave one each to Nazz and Kevin, "The Lemons of Acceptitude. Soil its nectar into your eyes in order to see what cannot be seen." He stood up and walked off.
"Right," Kevin said as he and Nazz dropped the lemons. Suddenly, Eddy entered the lunchroom, looking for the Kankers. Following him were Ed and Bella. Lee, Marie, and Brandon came in the other side of the lunchroom. The two groups walked up to each other.
"Well well well," Eddy said, "If it isn't the brother and sisters of the friend stealer." Ed pulled on another mask with a duck on it.
"Where's our May?" Marie asked, getting in Eddy's face.
"WHERE'S OUR DOUBLE D?!" Eddy yelled in her face, causing her to fall backwards. Marie stood up and grabbed Eddy's arms.
"You got three seconds to tell us where she's at," Marie said, shaking Eddy, "One...two…" Marie was getting ready to punch Eddy, but he distracted her.
"Hey, is that an abandoned car axle?" He said, pointing behind her.
"Where?" Marie asked, looking. Eddy hit her with a sandwich, knocking her over.
"Nice shot," Lee said.
"Tell your stupid sister to stay away from our friend," Eddy said. Lee grabbed two hotdogs.
"Tell your stupid friend to stay away from our sister!" Lee yelled, throwing the hotdogs at Eddy.
"Oh look, guys, weiner eyes," Marie laughed. Lee and Brandon also laughed. Ed held up his toe.
"Stand back, matrons of make-out!" Ed said. Lee and Marie looked disgusted. Ed turned to Eddy and whispered, "Girls hate toenails, Eddy."
"Either that, for your foot stinks like rotten meat," Bella said, holding her nose. An orange hit Ed in the back of his head. The Kankers were hiding behind a table and throwing food.
"Food fight!" Jonny said happily. Ed grabbed a table for him, Eddy, and Bella to hide behind.
"Get 'em, guys!" Eddy told Ed and Bella.
"I-I'd rather stay out of this," Bella said, shaking.
"Uh oh," Eddy said, ducking behind the table again as a huge roll of cheese came and hit Ed in the face. Rolf, trying to escape the chaos, dove into a trash can and flipped it upside down on himself.
"Every man for himself!" Ed shouted as he and Eddy pushed their table against the Kanker's table. Lee's hand burst through both tables and she grabbed Eddy by the neck, pulling him back through. Marie grabbed Ed's neck and tried to lift him up, but he was too heavy. He slammed Marie on the ground in front of him. Brandon jumped over the table and kicked Ed. Lee pinned Eddy down but he bit her leg. Just then, the door opened and no one noticed until someone spoke.
"Greetings, everyone," Edd said. Everyone stared at him and May, "Our Valentine's has come true." The two floated into the shape of a heart, "Has yours?"
"Awww…" Bella smiled slightly. Suddenly, two pairs of hands tore the two away from each other.
"Get a grip, Romeo!" Eddy snapped, holding Edd by his neck, "That's a Kanker you're falling for!"
"Forget the bum, May," Lee said, holding on to her squirming sister.
"Lambchop!" May cried.
"Turtledove!" Edd choked out.
"Lambchop!" May yelled, kicking Lee in the face and running towards Edd, but Marie jumped on her before she could reach him.
"He's trouble with a capital R, May," Marie said.
"Yeah," Brandon agreed, "He's no good for you either."
"Turtledove!" Edd said, dragging Eddy with him as he slowly ran to May.
"NO DOUBLE D!" Ed shouted, jumping on Edd. The two cupids watched from above.
"How could this have happened?" Cupid Jimmy asked, "Chaos rains instead of love."
"We will stop this chain of madness! Fire at will from above!" Cupid Sarah ordered. The two readied multiple arrows and shot randomly. Rolf heard the arrows clatter from inside his trash can. When it stopped, he peeked out from underneath.
"Happy Valentine's, dreamboat," Lee was saying to Kevin.
"You're so righteous, babe," Kevin said.
"For you, foxy mama," Jonny said, holding out a bunch of flowers for Nazz.
"What a hunk!" She cried happily.
"May I have this dance?" Ed asked a sandwich.
"Where have you been all my life?" Eddy was asking.
"Right here," Bella answered, smiling.
Brandon was hugging Plank on the other side of the room.
"Fools!" Rolf said, throwing the trash can off. He pulled out two lemons from his pockets and squirted them in his eyes, making his eyes become puffy and granting him the ability to see the two Cupids.
"Peek-a-boo, Rolf sees you," Rolf said. The Cupids, however, didn't hear him as they giggled happily. Rolf went to the janitor's office and grabbed the bucket of dirty water and the mop. He came back with the bucket on his head and the mop in his teeth. He lifted the doors up and dropped the bucket on the ground, not spilling a drop. Facing the Cupids, he spun the mop around.
"Be gone, cursed underlings of Valhalla!" Rolf yelled, making the crushed doors fall back down.
"Oops, we missed one, Cupid Sarah," Cupid Jimmy said as he and Cupid Sarah each readied an arrow.
"Rolf awaits your response!" Rolf cried, jumping up on the table. The two Cupids hammered him with arrows, but he blocked them all with the mop, "You tickle Rolf's radish. TAKE THIS!" He started swinging at the Cupids, "AND THIS!" Cupid Jimmy and Cupid Sarah flew up.
"Quick, up here!" Cupid Sarah said, "Far from his swings!"
"Safe and sound at last!" Cupid Jimmy said, wiping his forehead. Rolf threw the mop at them, "Ow, that stings!"
Rolf carried the two Cupids by their wings and dropped them out the window. Back inside, the scene hadn't changed much.
"Come here often, big boy?" Marie asked Rolf dreamily. He splashed her in the face with the water.
"What happened?" Marie asked, back to normal.
"Weaklings," Rolf insulted, "Rise and shine!" Rolf splashed Eddy and Bella.
"Who what where?" Eddy asked. He saw he was hugging Bella and let go, "Ah! Sorry."
"Uh, i-it's fine," Bella said, blushing slightly.
Jonny and Nazz, who were sharing spaghetti like Lady and The Tramp, were splashed next. Then Kevin and Lee while Kevin was 'rowing' a gondola, an Italian boat. Lee punched Kevin and looked at Rolf, who then splashed Brandon, making him throw Plank across the room in shock and hit Jonny's head.
"Keep your plank thing to yourself!" Brandon yelled. Ed was still kissing the sandwich.
"Me, you, and a dog named Boo," Ed said right before Rolf splashed him. Not sure what was going on, Ed shrugged and ate the sandwich.
Edd and May were about to kiss when Rolf walked over with the water.
"You make Rolf sick," Rolf said, dousing the couple in water. They saw they were holding hands and let go.
"May!" Edd said in surprise, "Oh, um, pardon me, but I think I belong over there." He stepped over by his friends. Ed was still eating the sandwich and Bella was still a little red, but Eddy looked at Edd. May walked over to her brother and sisters.
"The harsh realities of your miserable lives have been restored," Rolf said, dropping the bucket of water, "Thank you." The bell rang and everyone started to leave.
"Rolf's weird, huh Plank?" Jonny asked. Bella hesitated for a second then sighed.
"Eddy, wait!" She called, running over, "I need to tell you something."
At the end of the day, Edd was picking up trash all over the school. Ed helped while Eddy leaned against the lockers. Bella stood with him, smiling widely.
"I can not believe this," Edd said, "Me, a detention to mar an otherwise impeccable school record! What will Mother and Father think?"
"Quit your blubberin'," Eddy said, putting his arm around Ed, "Me and Ed get at least two a week!"
"That's why I exfoliate," Ed said.
"That's also why your parents are probably used to it," Bella said.
"Besides, I'd be thinking about my reputation there, Casanova," Eddy said, making Edd turn red.
"Yeah," Ed agreed, "Double D and May sitting in a tree." Eddy joined in.
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G," They chanted, laughing.
"Oh, what a tangled web Valentine's Day does weave," Edd said.
"It's not that big a deal," Bella said, trying to comfort Edd.
"Suck it up, Double D," Eddy said, "Heck, Ed fell in love with a sandwich."
"I love food too," Bella said, "Besides, now today will be more than just Valentine's Day." She blushed and smiled shyly.
"Love is like an onion, Double D," Ed said, pulling out an onion, "The more you pull away its layers, the more it stinks." Ed took a big bite out of the onion.
"Man, I hate it when he does that," Eddy said.
"Watch me," Ed said, "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EDDY!" Edd pulled his hat over his nose and Bella covered hers, but Eddy was knocked unconscious by Ed's onion breath. Edd noticed the card May had made for him and read it again.
"Eddy?" Ed said. Edd smiled and stored the card back under his hat, "Oh Eddy? Speak to me, Eddy! It's only supposed to work on girls! Eddy!"
"Oh, that's nice," Bella said sarcastically.
"Do something, Double D!" Ed begged.
"Perhaps a little 'first aid', Ed?" Edd suggested.
"Oh, I got it," Ed said, "Mouth to mouth for Eddy!" Eddy opened his eyes but Ed didn't noticed as he forced Eddy's mouth open.
"Ed?" Eddy said, muffled.
"Inhale, Ed," Edd instructed and Ed did so, "And...blow."
"LUMPY GERMS! AGGHH!"